One Day
by TheRisingPheonix92
Summary: They've never spoken but their paths cross every day... can you really love at first sight?
1. Chapter 1

**My first attempt at an Anna and Bates fiction, well a fiction in general really. Never been brave enough to share what I write before but here goes. **

**I do like the idea of putting these two in a modern setting. I hope this reads well and that you enjoy it. It may become multi chapter. This popped into my head on a lunch hour and I ran with it. **

**Downton doesn't belong to me. If only.**

* * *

He takes up his usual position, opening his guitar case, removing the guitar and leaning it against the wall behind. He places the open case in front of him. The winter days are getting harsher now, the wind flows through the walkway he stands in, the link between Waterloo Station and the South Bank. He sends a silent thank you to his mother for the fingerless gloves she sent him in the post before pulling the hood of his jacket higher around his neck then adjusts his flat cap. Picking up his pride and joy, the guitar he has owned and the only one he shall ever care to play, he puts the strap over his head and gets ready to begin,

He didn't need to busk. His job five nights a week as a nightclub bouncer paid more than enough. It was just something he started to escape the pain of his marriage crumbling, singing and performing was a release.

Five years down the line, a divorced man, he still found the same comfort and joy in it as he had always done. Some days he'd make only a fiver, others enough to pay for his food shopping that week. It all really depended on the commuters, tourists and shoppers who passed by. Some would request songs, others might stop for a dance, especially if they had been making use of the pubs London had to offer. He got to recognise a lot of them, some he was even friendly enough with to offer a hello or a knowing smile.

But there was one certain person he always looked forward to seeing.

She was about five foot four, with beautiful blue eyes and a smile that made his knees weaken and his heart skip a beat. Her hair seemed to cascade down her shoulders in golden waves, if she wasn't wearing it up to accentuate her perfect neckline. She would more often than not be wearing a business suit. The beautiful woman always offered him a smile as she walked by and without fail would leave him two pounds in his guitar case, then would stop and listen for a couple of minutes. They had never spoken, yet looking into her eyes as he sang he felt like he had known her all his life.

Regular as clockwork, she would walk past him around a quarter past nine every morning, and he would always make sure he was playing a song she might realise he was playing just for her. Isn't She Lovely, Wonderful Tonight, something that she might just possibly think was about her.

Their link was usually broken when he finished the song and, with a small round of applause and a smile, she continued on her way.

One day he would find the courage to ask for her name. But the truth was she seemed much younger than him and was so beautiful, she was probably already spoken for.

One day, though.

Looking at his watch, he notices the time and realises she will soon pass his way. Tuning in his guitar, he decides to start with something light. The opening notes of Yellow by Coldplay fill the air, and with a deep breath the lyrics begin to escape his lips...

* * *

Another day, another dollar she says to herself as she gets off the train at Waterloo. Her job as a secretary for a fashion house paid well, but the mundane tasks which she seemed to repeat day after day had recently been making herself question if it was all worth it.

Passing through the barriers, she follows her usual routine of buying a coffee from one of the little outlets on the station. Once that's done, she fights her way through the crowds to the walkway bridge that leads onto London's South Bank.

She hopes he's there but secretly knows he will be, he has been every day since she started her job over a year ago now, moving down from Yorkshire to work for an old friend.

The closer she gets to the walkway, she can hear the melodic twang of his guitar. His gravelly tone sets her heart beating a faster rhythm. She prays he is wearing his flat cap, she was always partial to that particular piece of clothing on a man. Soon, as she moves further from the bustle of the station and more into the walkway, she can make out what he is singing.

'I bet she never had a down town man, that's what I am..'

She giggles slightly at his acoustic re working of the Billy Joel classic, especially as when he comes into view, he is attempting some kind of dance routine with his legs to entertain a group of kids on a school trip who have probably never seen a busker before.

Then he turns his head to the left, and their eyes meet. It is all she can do to remain upright as he continues to sing the song.

'She'll say I'm not so tough, just because I'm in love...'

It's as if everyone else has melted away, it is just the two of them. The way he lifts an eyebrow at her and smirks as he sings makes her feel all manner of emotions, some of them not entirely proper. He's older than her, but she doesn't mind that. Mid forties perhaps. Most of the men her age were ridiculously single minded. The ones she had encountered, anyway.

He was tall, she liked that. When he smiled the edge of his eyes crinkled which only endeared him to her more. No man had ever made her feel the way he did when he looked at her, it scared her to realise that was such a strong statement to make when they had never even shared a conversation. They seemed to share a connection, at least for these short moments they shared of a morning.

When she thought of him, she referred to him as 'my busker,' as he always made her feel as if he was singing only for her. Whether he meant to or not, she couldn't fathom.

After offering him a round of applause, she searches in her purse, finding the two pound coin she had been saving for him and dropping it in his case. He nods in acknowledgment before she turns on her heel and begins to walk away, never quite finding the courage to say hello.

One day, though.

* * *

**Please be kind...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the encouraging words in response to my first effort. I cannot believe people are not only reading my story, but liking it too. ****I have already planned this story in my mind to a point, so it's lovely to know some people want it to continue. I will continue with a series of short chapters for the time being, as that is how I have imagined it. **

**Thanks again. **

**Nothing belongs to me.**

* * *

She didn't like going out to clubs, especially on a week night. But it was Daisy's birthday, Daisy being her best friend. Gwen would be there, and Ethel. The three women making up her group of friends. Checking her look in the mirror, she shrugged. She would pass, she supposed as she straightened out her black dress before running a hand through her long blonde hair. After another monotonous, long winded day at work this really was the last thing she wanted to be dressed in. Her Winnie The Pooh pyjamas seemed a much more inviting proposition.

Looking to her watch, she released a deep sigh. Then the buzzer sounded and there was no turning back now. Walking to the front door, she lifted the receiver which instantly ended the buzzer.

'Come on, Anna. It's party time.'

It was Gwen, she was able to hear Ethel and Daisy talking in the background. The sound of their excited voices instantly lifted her spirits. Maybe she could have a good time tonight, she always did when with her friends. It was only seven now, they didn't have to be out late.

'I'll be right down.'

* * *

Bloody hell, it was cold. Shifting from foot to foot, trying anything to keep warm, he looked up to see a group of women approaching the entrance to the club. Being a bouncer wasn't the most glamorous of occupations, but it paid the bills. If only busking was enough, he often thought to himself.

Looking at the faces of the women who were now entering 'Sugar And Spice' nightclub, he realised he wouldn't need to trouble any of them for identification. Offering a friendly smile as they passed him, he wondered whether, maybe somewhat harshly, if a few of them had got dressed in the dark.

Feeling a presence beside him, he looked up to see his colleague, Thomas reassume his position on the other side of the door. The two of them had never got along, although he didn't know why. He had never really cared to find out why either, if he was honest.

Female shrieking brought him out of his reverie. Looking to his left, he made a double take. It couldn't be, could it? A group of four young ladies were making their approach, one of them he instantly recognised. Familiar feelings surged within him. His heart was beating faster, his throat was dry. She hadn't notice him yet. Attempts to regain his composure were fruitless, he was just waiting with baited breath for her to notice him, for what her reaction would be.

Then she looked up.

He was sure their surroundings had melted away, it was just the two of them. This was madness. They were effectively strangers, they had never even spoken yet every time his eyes met hers, fireworks went off in his head, cohesive thoughts were impossible.

'Evening ladies.'

Thomas's voice suddenly reached his ears, breaking the connection he was holding with the young woman. One of the other girls attempted to flirt with his fellow bouncer, he barely noticed as the pretty blonde woman continued to smile at him. Then she spoke, and he was sure a sweeter sound had never been heard.

'It's her birthday,' she said in reply to something Thomas had asked, pointing to the petite brunette in front of her. She then turned to face him once again, they simply stared at each other. Thomas must be wondering if they were quite well.

'Come on, Anna,' one of the women shouted, grabbing her by the wrist. 'They're playing Beyoncé.'

Anna. So that was her name, then. It suited her. Sophisticated. Beautiful. And with a nod of the head, she had disappeared into the club behind her friends. He watched, unable to take his eyes off her. Needing more, he made an excuse of needing to use the toilet to disappear inside. The sound of 'Single Ladies' was deafening, but he managed to make her out in the crowd, in the middle of the dance floor.

Her friends were dancing in some sort of coordinated rhythm, she standing by trying to join in. She was laughing. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. The vision he saw before him right now made standing out in the cold more than worth it.

* * *

She knew going out last night was a bad idea. She hadn't time for her coffee as she burst through the barriers at Waterloo having overslept. Dodging her way thorough the crowds of the morning rush hour, she trod the floor towards the bridge that lead to the south bank. Then she remembered. Who she saw last night. A smile was unavoidable. She knew he couldn't be a busker by trade, but a bouncer was the furthest thing from her mind when she thought what 'her busker' might do for a living.

As she grew closer to where he would inevitably be situated, she smiled as she recognised the tune he was singing. He must have seen her last night. She and her friends always went mad for that song. As he came into view, she was pleased to see he was wearing his flat cap.

_'If you like it then you should have put a ring on it...'_

He had noticed her, singing the song as their eye contact threatened to knock her to the ground. She couldn't help but sing along as he sang the 'uh oh oh,' portion of the song. She stood in front of him, not wanting to seem egotistical but knowing this time the song he was singing was for her benefit. As he finished, she gave him a hearty round of applause, the smile he afforded her was breathtaking. After dropping her two pound coin in his guitar case, she offered him a smirk and a nod of acknowledgement before turning on her heel.

'Have a good day, Anna.'

She stopped dead in her tracks. He had just spoken to her. The first interaction beyond eye contact and exchanges of smiles they had ever had. His voice was deep, a hint of Irish to his tone. She loved it. Looking back over her shoulder, he was smirking,

'And you.' She replied with a nod. 'Take care.'


	3. Chapter 3

**I love writing this story as it gives me a chance to include all my favourite songs :) **

**This chapter is a little longer than the others but once I started writing I found I couldnt stop. A few more characters are introduced here. I hope you like. **

**Thanks for the reviews, really struggle to believe people are reading this and liking it. **

**Downtn on doesn't belong to me.**..

* * *

He does this every Sunday. Taking the Northern line to Chalk Farm, then a short walk towards London Zoo to visit the one constant in his life. His mother. This visit had been no different. He had left the home where he spent the majority of his childhood, armed with a tupperware box filled with left over Sunday lunch, his ironing in a reusable shopping bag and a big wad of money off coupons for a supermarket which was fifty miles from his home, yet he didn't have the heart to tell her.

Waiting for his train to take him back to Westminster, near where he rented a one bedroom apartment in Lambeth, he sighed audibly at the thought of where he had to go this evening. To be fair, he enjoyed the company of the Crawley family, yet the class difference resonating from his best friend's daughters often got to him.

They were pleasant enough in themselves, yet they did like to remind you in another time or another life you would be serving their table, not eating at it alongside them. Sybil, the youngest and John's goddaughter was more level headed, Edith, the middle had her moments yet it was Mary, or Contrary as John had nicknamed her in his head, who could be the worst. She owned a successful fashion house in Lambeth, earning more money in a day than John would earn in a week, including his army pension.

Yet, he kept his views to himself. Their father, Robert Crawley was one of the finest men John had ever met, the two becoming close after serving in the army together. This evening, Robert was holding a little soirée in honour of Mary's engagement to Matthew. Matthew also happened to be Mary's third cousin, however when John found amusement in this he was shot down with a stern look and raised eyebrows by Robert.

Now on the train, John was relieved when after a couple of stops a seat became available. Once comfortable, he looked up and couldn't believe his eyes. It was her. Anna. She was reading something on her iPad. This was getting more than a little peculiar now, it was if some higher power was intervening, causing their paths to cross at different intervals.

'Look up, look up,' a voice was chanting inside his head. Then she did, and it took him by surprise. 'Shit, she's looked up.'

Their gaze locked. He nearly dropped his Tupperware box on the floor. Did she always look this beautiful? She began to chuckle at his fumbling, turning off whatever she was looking at on her iPad before placing the device in her bag. It was dawning on him that she was about to speak. He didn't get it. Singing in front of her was easy yet it was becoming increasingly apparent holding a conversation was a much more difficult proposition.

'No guitar today?' She asked with a kind smile, a smile he was beginning to realise was the most breathtaking he had ever seen. He also detected a hint of an accent in her voice. He had noticed it the other night, yet couldn't put his finger on it until now. Yorkshire.

'Not today,' he replied, tapping the top of the box. 'Just some roast lamb and coupons for a supermarket it would cost more in petrol money to visit than to actually do a weekly shop.'

'Ahh, you must have just visited your mother then.' He laughed at that, nodding to confirm her suspicions.

'She lives near Regents Park. And still feels she needs to look after her little soldier.'

'It's different when you're a man, you're always Mummy's little boy. When you're a woman it's all, _aren't you married yet? By your age I was married with three children, blah blah blah.'_

He couldn't believe how at ease he was talking to this woman. To Anna. They still barely knew each other yet he felt like he could tell her anything. It was alchemy.

'You really are very good,' she continued, 'at the busking I mean. I love hearing you every morning.'

'Even my rather strained rendition of Beyoncé?'

'Especially your Beyoncé, it was very good.' She cocked her head, furrowing her brow but still with a smirk on her lips. 'Even if a little random.'

Did she not pick up on the fact that was for her? She must have done. He didn't want to tell her it was, he didn't want to seem like some weird stalker. In the next moment, she was rising to her feet. Leicester Square.

'See you tomorrow, Anna.'

She looked down at him, her eyes were shining as she held his gaze. 'And you as well, err... I'm sorry. I don't know your name.'

'John.'

'Ahh, busker John. See you in the morning.'

* * *

Releasing a rather loud sigh, Anna reached the driveway of the rather extravagant house she was twenty minutes late arriving at. She hoped she could slip in relatively unnoticed, although the heavy shopping bag in her right hand suggested someone would be eagerly awaiting her arrival inside. She had only been to the house twice in her life and was relieved to have found it again.

Sybil was Mary's younger sister, Mary being Anna's boss at the fashion house. They had known each other since their late teens, both studying at the same establishment however Mary's career had skyrocketed. She wasn't envious though, it just wasn't in Anna's nature to be that way. Mary just had it, what was needed to get along in the cutthroat world of fashion design. Although herself just going through the motions, working on the administrative side of Mary's business, Anna was pleased to see the house thriving.

'There you are.' Anna looked up to see Sybil at the now open front door, her arms folded. 'Did you get the sweets?'

'What does the M and M World bag tell you?' Anna replied, holding it up for Sybil to see. 'In blue and pink as requested.'

'Aww, it's going to be so cute,' Sybil cooed as she took the bag and showed Anna inside. 'M and M, Mary and Matthew's initials, it was meant to be.'

'Quite,' Anna replied, rolling her eyes and not sharing quite the same enthusiasm as the youngest Crawley daughter. 'Come on, I have thirty cupcakes to decorate with these and you can help.'

'Oh the joys,' Anna said as she followed Sybil into the kitchen. It was the size of her entire flat. How the other half live, she thought to herself.

They worked quickly together, enjoying a friendly banter that had existed between them since Anna had become friends with Mary. Guests were arriving in the other room as they decorated the cupcakes Sybil had made as quickly, yet as carefully as they could. Once all the cakes were decorated, Anna began to plate up the cakes, Sybil wiped down the counters before the kitchen doors burst open. It was Mary. Anna stuck to her task whilst Sybil turned to regard her sister.

'Sybil, John was wondering if he could have a fruit juice instead of a fizzy drink. I said you'd help him.'

'Sure thing, hello Uncle John.'

'Hello Pipsqueak.'

The sound of his voice made Anna turn around. Even though she had only heard his Irish burr a few times, it was a sound she would now recognise anywhere. He was already looking at her, a grin playing on his lips and his eyes crinkling at the edges. This was also the first time she had seen him without a flat cap. His hair was gelled, yet a lock fell above his eyebrow. She wanted nothing more than to walk towards him and brush it back into place. By God, he really was rather dashing. This was weird, the whole situation was bizarre. They had been busker and commuter for so long, yet recently they seen each other outside of that rather more comforting scenario more often. What was happening and why did she feel so compelled to a man who was almost a complete stranger?

'Anna, this is John Bates, Sybil's Godfather.'

'Yes, we know each other,' He interjected, Anna eyes wide in surprise at how forward he was when he usually seemed so shy. He was still staring at her. She just couldn't bear to look away from him. Her stomach felt weird. Butterflies perhaps? Anna had never felt them before. Not when it came to a man, anyway.

'Really?' Mary's voice held a surprised lilt to it. 'How so?'

'Would you like to tell her?' John asked, tilting his head towards Mary although all the time keeping his eyes on Anna. 'Or shall I?'

Realising she would now have to speak, he had given her no option, Anna stuttered a little before replying, 'I stop and watch him busk every morning on the way to work.'

'So your busker is John?' Mary said with a slight chuckle. 'Blimey, Anna. If you had told me it was John I would have told you he was far too old for you to be daydreaming about.'

'Mary,' Sybil hissed, Anna now turning a deep shade of crimson as John found the whole situation highly amusing. 'Don't be so rude.'

She knew all about the age gap, it was what endeared her to him the most. No doubt he had countless experience, stories to tell, things to teach...

'It's alright, Pipsqueak,' John placed a hand on Mary's shoulder. 'We all know what your sister is like now.'

Anna watched as Mary turned on her heel and returned to the party, leaving John still staring at her and a rather awkward looking Sybil flitting her gaze between her and the man opposite.

'Right, well I'll go and see if I'm needed anywhere else.'

Anna was vaguely aware of Sybil leaving before remembering she was in the middle of something before John had arrived. Clearing her throat, she turned her back on him and continued with placing the cakes on a three tiered stand. She was sure she could hear his footsteps on the floor, her breath shortening the nearer the sound became. She felt his presence beside her and was sure her heart had stopped beating. The first time they had ever been properly alone.

'Nice cakes,' he said, looking over her shoulder.

'Yeah, well Sybil made them,' she shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant although feeling anything but. 'I just bought the M and M's.'

'Ahh, so that's why you were going to Leicester Square earlier.'

Wow, he was observant. 'Yes. Although M and M World isn't usually the reason why I would go there. Waste of time if you ask me.'

'Oh, me too. My cousin and his family came over from Cork. His kids made me walk around that blasted place for two hours. You know, that was a funny day because...'

'John, Dad is asking after you.'

It was now Edith, the middle Crawley sister who was interrupting at completely the wrong time. When he was telling a story, his voice held such a tone that Anna couldn't help but be transfixed by it. She thought his singing voice was beautiful, but his accent when talking. It rendered her quite unable to concentrate on anything else.

'I should go, but I'll see you around this evening, no doubt.'

Anna could only nod as he smiled at her for what seemed like the hundredth time in the couple of minutes they had been speaking. She was intrigued as to why he was here, how he knew Mary's father. But most of all, she wanted to know why their paths kept crossing. She didn't believe in fate, but this was becoming more and more difficult to ignore.

* * *

It was a fact. He couldn't hide it any longer. He had suspected it in the nightclub, now in the Crawley's living room he knew it for certain. Any room where she was, everyone else paled into insignificance.

It had been so sudden, all these meetings and brief conversations, yet really it hadn't been. She had been walking past him at Waterloo for months. They had shared a connection almost instantly, through eye contact and his music. Something was there. Something between them. He felt it like a thunderbolt through his soul. There was a reason why she came to his club, why she was opposite him on the Tube, why she was here tonight.

John stood by the Mantelpiece, unable to watch anything but her. When she laughed, he felt each smile tug at his heart. When, on occasion she met his gaze, John had never felt so weak. Now there was this added dimension to their relationship, they had spoken, what was between them felt more real. She wasn't just the beautiful girl with the sweet smile and figure to die for who left him two quid every morning anymore. She was Anna, a woman with a life, opinions and dreams of her own.

'Hey Bates.' John looked to his left, seeing his friend Robert with a guitar in hand. They had both played together when in the army, although Robert would be the first to admit he was nowhere as talented as John when it came to playing the instrument. 'Mary has requested you play something. To mark the occasion.'

'Oh, I really don't think so,' John shook his head, reluctantly placing a hand on the guitar.

'Look, John's got the guitar.' Mary seemed excited as she looked upon the scene between hre father and John. 'Please play something.'

Could he really deny her, especially on a night like tonight.? Even after she had indsulted him? With a quick glance up to see Anna looking in his direction, an expectant expression on her face, John nodded and placed the guitar strap over his head, a ripple of applause coming from those gathered. Thinking of what to play, he remembered his experiences with Mary, things Robert had told him about her and the rest of his family on long nights whilst on duty together. One story was sticking out in the forefront of his mind. And John knew what he had to do.

'Okay, I'll play one song. And as this is an engagement party, Smells Like Teen Spirit won't do I suppose?'

'It would do,' Matthew replied enthusiastically before Mary dug him in the ribs with her elbow.

'Maybe I'll save that one for your birthday, Matt,' John replied with a chuckle before searching for Anna's gaze, delighted to see she was laughing. John looked to Robert, 'do you remember that night in Bosnia. Me, you, a few of the other lads and an acoustic guitar. You asked me to play this, as your eldest girl back home had been playing it over and over and, although it had driven you mad, it would remind you of home. It's fair to say this song got played to death, and everyone likes it although won't admit it.'

John tuned the guitar to his liking before clearing his throat. He couldn't help it. He needed to look at her again. It was like making eye contact with her was an addiction. So he did, and sure enough he was met with her eyes staring at him. She was really looking at him. No one had ever looked at him in quite the same way. Having found the right chord, with one strum of the strings, he began.

'_Look into my eyes, you will see, what you mean to me_.'

An echo of cooing went up from those of the female persuasion gathered, John could almost hear the men rolling their eyes, yet it didn't stop the majority singing along. As he reached the end of the chorus, John allowed the crowd to sing the last line.  
'_You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you..._'

'You're all sounding beautiful,' John joked as he lead them all into the second verse. '_Look into your heart, you find, there's nothing left to hide...'_

He'd found her in the crowd again and his eyes never left hers as he continued with the song. It was as if they were on that bridge, the wind blowing all around him, she watching as if she would stop breathing if she didn't. Like the connection they held whilst he played was the only thing keeping them both alive.

Reaching the crescendo of the song, everybody was lost in the moment as John lead them towards the end.

'_I'd fight for you, I'd lie for you, walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you._..'

He allowed himself a little smile, his eyes tightly closed with the effort of reaching that last note as a few of the men started a chorus of wolf whistles.

'Yeah, thanks lads,' he remarked, nodding in the direction of Sybil's boyfriend and Matthew. Then he looked at Anna, the expression she was sending his way, well John decided in that moment he wanted her to look at him that way for the rest of his _life. 'You know it's true, everything I do...'_ He stopped, playing up to everyone singing along before speaking, 'okay, you lot finish it off then.'

'_I do it for you._'

**************************  
It felt different this morning, after last night. Yes, she still left platform 12, passed the same barrier, got her normal order at the coffee bar. But it felt different. It was difficult not to run towards the walkway that lead to the South Bank. He would be there. John. Not just a busker. A man with a past, with experiences to share. With eyes that Anna was sure she would never grow tired of looking into.

The music reached her ears. His music. His voice. It set her heart beating a rhythm she struggled to keep up with. And the song he had chosen. How did he know it was one of her favourites? She didn't usually like to assume the songs he sang around this time were for her, but this was uncanny. She and Mary used to dance to it together at parties whenever it came on, consoling each other when they had failed to find dates yet again. Had he asked Mary to tell him what her favourite song was? The thought he had gone to that trouble made her weak at the knees, no one had ever done anything like that for her before.

'_What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you._..'

He'd spotted her, Anna couldn't help it. She could feel the stinging of tears in her eyes, this song meant so much to her, reminding her of a time in her life when she felt invincible, before the realities of life had set in. John had no idea what it was doing to her to hear him sing the lyrics, their eyes locked on the other. So convincing, he had so much emotion in his voice and Anna knew he wasn't faking it. He meant every word for her.

As he finished the song, they held each others gaze before it became too much, Anna looking away before dropping a two pound coin in his case. She could feel him imploring her with his eyes, she lifted her head like there was some kind of magnetic force between them.

'Thank you,' she mouthed before wiping a tear away from her cheek.

His smile was sympathetic, however Anna was almost undone as he offered her a wink. Trying to form anything coherent after that was impossible, Anna choosing instead to release a shaky breath. With a nod of the head, as was her usual parting gesture, she walked backwards a couple of steps then disappearing further into the rush hour crowd.

**Hope this isn't too much, and sorry for the swear word**_. _

_**Songs are Everything I Do by Bryan Adams And Wicked Game by Chris Isaak**. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Your response to this story had been nothing short of mind boggling. Thanks so much for the kind words you have have written in your reviews. **

**Downton doesn't belong to me...**

* * *

Two weeks passed, and the only glimpses she got of him was their week morning ritual outside Waterloo. What did she expect? In essence, they were merely acquaintances, a little more than strangers now. He was the best friend of her boss' father. He knew her favourite song, she knew he was still tied to his mother's apron strings. However, she found her thoughts quite often drifting to her busker in his flat cap, a slight dusting of stubble on his cheeks as his gravelly tones and exquisite guitar playing took her to another world for a couple of mesmerising minutes.

This particular day, Mary must have noticed as she wandered past Anna's desk. There was plenty of work to be done, yet Anna was staring out of her window that overlooked the Thames, rhythmically tapping her pen against her lip as she relived every second of John's rendition of _To Be With You_ that morning. Their eyes met, and like always it was if the world had melted away. He really did have the most beautiful eyes...

'I said, have you written that press release yet?'

'What?' Anna furrowed her brow before realising Mary was standing beside her, hands on her hips and wearing a not too pleased expression on her face. Looking at the empty computer screen in front on her, Anna panicked. 'Err, well, you see...'

'Thinking about your busker again, are we?'

'Of course not.' Her reddened cheeks betrayed her indignation. Anna looked away but found her eyes drawn back to Mary's. She was smirking, Anna hated it when Mary smirked.

'I can hook you up, you know,' Mary explained as she sat on the edge of Anna's desk. 'Although I can't see why you would want me to. He's old enough to be your...'

'Stop right there,' Anna interrupted, holding her hand up to Mary's face before sitting up straighter in her chair, 'I don't want you to ruin the illusion of 'My Busker. Capital M. Capital B. To my eye, he is only in his early forties.'

'Try late...'

'I said stop.' Her tone was annoyed now as she stared at the blank screen, continuing without looking up at Mary. 'He's a lovely guy, I just don't want anything to ruin that illusion. My first impressions of blokes have always been wrong, I don't want that to happen with John. So I'm quite happy with things the way they are, thank you. He is My Busker and My Busker he shall remain. Unless our paths cross again, in which case I will accept it as fate. Besides, he's much too worldly for he likes of me.'

'Fine. Whatever. Just trying to help.' Mary sounded hurt but Anna knew she was faking. 'Just have that press release on my desk by the end of the day.'

'Yes sir,' Anna murmured once Mary was out of earshot, saluting her as she walked away.

Mary did like to meddle. Although she meant well, Anna hated a meddler. If things were meant to happen, then happen they will. If she was meant to see John in different surroundings than that walkway at Waterloo, then she would. It was being set up, chasing men and giving too much of her heart away that had been her downfall in the past. Chasing the wrong men, that is. They all turned out the same way in the end. At least as her busker he remained an almost romantic figure. Untouchable in her heart and soul. Anna just wouldn't be able to bear finding out John was like all the rest.

******************************  
After a feast of Spaghetti Bolognese and ice cream, prepared for them by Cora, Robert's wife, John and his best friend were currently embroiled in a rather competitive pool match. John had taken the first two games, meaning the original best of three suggested by Robert had been extended to a best of five.

'I told you it would make no difference,' John shrugged as he potted yet another yellow ball, leaving just one more and the black on the table, Robert still with four reds to sink.

'You're cheating.'

'Ahh, here we go,' John rolled his eyes, leaning back against the wall of Robert's conservatory as his friend lined up a rather impossible shot. 'Wondered how long it would take you to use that line. How can I possibly be cheating?'

'I don't know,' Robert said as he moved his cue backwards and forwards, not quite touching the ball each time until he took the shot. 'Magnets. Something like that.'

'You really are full of shit,' John laughed, Robert missing the shot completely. Just then. Mary appeared at the door. 'Ahh, Mary. You've arrived right on cue. We were just talking about people who are full of crap.'

'What?' Mary shook her head, completely confused before looking at the table. 'Wow, whoever is red is having their arse kicked.'

'How can I help you, Mary?' Robert huffed without looking at his daughter, standing back away from the table as he spoke. John moved forward, assessing which would be his possible best shot.

'Actually, it's John I wanted.'

'Me?'

'Yes, you believe it or not. Who'd have thought it?'

A thousand things were going through his mind as he looked at Mary from his position leaning over the table. All she usually did was mock him and tell him to get a real job. 'What is it?'

He took the shot before she answered, potting the final yellow ball as Robert let out a cry of disappointment. John grinned, moving around the table to line up the black.

'Anna.'

Anna. With that simple, two syllable word John was transported away from his friends conservatory, and to that bridge at Waterloo. Wisps of precious blonde hair blowing in the breeze, blue eyes that he could easily become lost in. Her breathtaking smile. The way she walked away from him, her figure more perfect than he had ever seen.

'She wants to see you again.'

'She said that?' John asked, barely believing it was true.

'Not as such, but she really likes you.'

John felt a jolt at those words. Like a thunderbolt striking him. Anna liked him. How anyone as flawless as her even gave him a minute of her day still flummoxed him, but to know that she thought positively of him was almost more than John could take.

'She's just a believer in fate,' Mary rolled her eyes before adding, 'more fool her.'

'Now Mary, not everyone has a handsome cousin they can marry at the drop of a hat,' John said slyly as he chalked the end of his cue. Feeling Robert's cue poking him in the back, John decided to change the subject. 'What do you want me to do?'

'You don't work Friday evenings, no?' John shook his head. 'Then bring the guitar over and perform outside the fashion house tomorrow afternoon. Anna knocks off at five.'

'I thought she was a believer in fate?'

'Well, to her it will be if you play along,' Mary explained. 'Besides, the way you two were looking at each other at my engagement party, it's a wonder you didn't set off the fire alarm. It was hot.'

'Hot?' John grimaced, then turned to his friend. 'Was it really that obvious?'

'Oh yes,' Robert didn't miss a beat as he replied.

Looking back to Mary, John exhaled a breath, tapping his foot on the floor as he thought about her suggestion. He would like to see Anna again, he'd be lying if he said he didn't. And what harm could it do? Even if Anna did just walk past, he'd heard buskers along the stretch on which Mary's fashion house was situated raked it in, especially during rush hour. He could use the potential extra cash, and if he did speak to Anna then all the better.

'Alright.' John found himself saying, 'I'll do it.'

With a nod of the head and a smile on her lips, Mary turned on her heel and left. Shaking his head, John bent over the table and potted the black with almost no effort at all. He looked to Robert, his expression unreadable as John fought back the victory dance that was threatening to erupt within him, and it wasn't just because of winning the game. His friend spoke next.

'Best of seven?'

*******************************  
He was feeling nervous, more so as the time neared to five o clock. The crowds walking along the south bank had been very generous, John even noticing someone had dropped a fiver in his guitar case. The fashion house was in a tall office block, there seemed to be miles and miles of glass stretching high into the sky. The light reflecting off the panes had been a problem as the sun set, but now as dusk began to fall it really was rather a beautiful setting to be playing guitar, especially with the Thames being his back drop, St Paul's Cathedral in the distance.

He had played an eclectic mix whilst waiting for Anna. From Kings Of Leon to David Bowie, Rolling Stones to Oasis, The Beatles to Kaiser Chiefs. John's personal favourites were the old songs, Motown in particular but also Bill Withers and, albeit a little embarrassedly, Luther Vandross. However, his acoustic reworking of _Never Too Much _had been rather popular with a group of ladies just about to embark on a hen night. One of them had wrapped their feather boa around his neck, another replaced his flat cap with flashing bunny ears as the rest of the group danced around his guitar case. Each left him a couple of pounds each, making the ridiculousness of his appearance for the duration of the song worthwhile. He loved any opportunity to get in touch with his soulful side, even if looking like a fool was the price he had to pay.

The chimes of Big Ben could be heard in the distance. Five of them. Activity outside of the office block increased. John tried to keep his composure as he performed _'My Girl' _by The Temptations. He nodded politely as various commuters dropped the odd coin in his case, but his eyes were fixed on the door of the office block. He noticed Mary first, who seemed to be looking for him. Once she spotted him, she gestured behind her and held up her hand, John guessing by her gesture Anna would be along in five minutes or so.

Nodding, he thought about what to play next as he grew nearer to the end of _My Girl._ Stopping to look like he was tuning his guitar, he was really trying to summon the courage to come face to face with Anna again. Singing to her was fine, but he was certain she would ask him why he was there. He couldn't lie. He would tell her Mary had put him up to it. He just hoped she didn't take it the wrong way. Maybe they could go for a coffee. Dinner perhaps. He didn't have long to think about it as he saw her reach the main lobby of the office block, waving to the man on reception as she left. She stepped out on to the pavement. John felt his knees turn to jelly as she looked at him, her face the epitome of confusion.

'Sing, you fool,' John heard the voice in his head gently chastise him.

As she walked towards him, John couldn't bare the eye contact any longer, it was threatening to overwhelm him, the feelings rushing through him were enough to render him helpless. Looking down at his guitar and playing a chord before those chords turned into a melody, he did the only thing that he never seemed to have any trouble doing. He began to sing.

'_And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now_...'

He carried on singing and all he could think about was her. How he still managed to get the lyrics out was beyond him. His mind was just awash with her delicate features and the way she was looking at him. She was standing before him now as he sang, and thank the Lord she was smiling. That beautiful, understated smile that he had imagined might one day be his undoing time and time again.

_'And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am_.'

And he did. The more and more he saw this woman, the more he wanted her to take notice of him, wanted her to get to know him. They had moved beyond the busker and the commuter, but not enough for his liking. He had always said one day he would ask her out, one day have a proper conversation with her. Maybe that day had arrived.

A crowd behind Anna had formed, a group of rather intoxicated twenty something's swaying in time as John reached the last chorus of the song. She turned around as they sang along, looking back to John, a laugh brightening her entire face, making her eyes dance and John's soul sing. He finished the song to a rousing applause, Anna leading the crowd in their tribute. The group at the back made their contribution, one of them over enthusiastically wrapping his arm around John's shoulders in the process.

'Bloody brilliant mate,' he bellowed, tapping John on the chest. 'That's mine and my birds song, you know, if she was actually talking to me. Which she isn't but still, amazing.'

With those words, he trudged off after his friends, finally leaving John and Anna alone. She was still amused, her arms folded as John clutched onto his guitar tightly in nervousness, his knuckles turning white. He couldn't think of what to say to break the silence until she beat him to it.

'Hi John.'

Damn, nice opening line. Why couldn't he have thought of that?

'Anna,' he managed to choke. 'Good day?'

'It's just got better,' Anna replied with a smirk. 'Mary put you up to this?'

His face dropped. Damn, she was so perceptive. All he could do was stare back although suddenly a feeling of panic spread throughout his body. He didn't want her to think he was only there because Mary had told him to be.

'She suggested it,' John revealed before quickly adding, 'but I wanted to be here. I wanted to see you again.'

Her expression was unreadable as they just simply stated at each other. They seemed to do a lot of that, John noted. He didn't mind, a comfortable silence existed between them in these moments. It was if they were trying to suss the other out, or commit every little thing about the other to memory.

'Do you fancy a walk, John?' She put her hands in her coat pockets. ' I find it helps to destress from a week of...'

'Mary.'

They both laughed. 'Yes, Mary. So how about it?'

John looked to his left, trying to act nonchalant yet it had never been his strong suit. Turning back to her, he nodded his head. 'I'd love that, Anna.'

************************  
She didn't know how much time had passed. John had put his guitar away, after sorting out the money he had earned- £15- threw the strap of the case over his back and off they had walked. Conversation was easy, despite her initial nervousness. She couldn't fathom why she worried about talking to him, it just felt right and natural to be strolling by his side. They reached St Paul's Cathedral, that was the first time Anna had looked up to gauge where they were. John had asked if she had anywhere to be. She shook her head in response, John asked if they could continue, she had never been asked an easier question in her life.

On they went, away from the riverside for a time, past Monument and towards Tower Bridge. He had spoken about the army, how he had got to know Robert and the Crawley's. It seemed strange to her that they had never known of each other before, he being so close to the head of the family and she close to his daughter.

Anna had been very complimentary of his talents on the guitar, he seeming to appreciate her comments. It was then that he had revealed all about his ex-wife, and the reason why he busked when he didn't really need to. She noted the passion in his voice and the breathtaking expression on his face as he explained what a release singing and performing gave him.

'So you never wanted to do it professionally?' Anna asked as they sat on a bench beside the river, Tower Bridge their backdrop. They must have been walking for an hour, maybe an hour and a half. The time had passed like seconds.

John cocked his head to the side, scrunching up his nose in a way that she found adorable. 'I don't think I'm really that good, am I?'

'Yes,' Anna replied through a disbelieving smile, 'you're amazing.'

A silence fell between them then. He was looking at her. Really looking at her. No man had ever quite regarded her in the same way. His eyes held a sincerity she had never witnessed before, his slight smile set her heart racing, made her mouth dryer than the desert. What was this hold he had over her? All she knew was she didn't want it to ever end.

'What about you? Tell me about you.'

Anna shrugged. 'There isn't much to tell really. Go to work every day, go home each night. Go out with my friends at the weekends.'

'I know there is so much more to you than that,' he replied, 'where have you come from? Certainly not from around here going by your accent.'

'I'm a Yorkshire lass,' Anna confirmed his suspicions. 'Ripon, it's near York.'

'I've heard of it,' John nodded his head. 'And you came down here to study fashion design?'

'You're very much on the ball, Mr Bates.' Anna narrowed her gaze. 'If I didn't know better I'd say someone had been researching my life story with the help of a certain fashion designer.'

'You don't mind, do you?' John winced.

'On the contrary, I'm very flattered.'

And then he was staring again, his eyes locked on hers. She so wished she could read his mind on these occasions, longed to know what he was thinking as he regarded her so carefully.

'Do you fancy sharing some chips?'

He was thinking about food. She should have known. He was a man after all.

'Sounds good, so long as you like vinegar.'

Standing up, John stood aside to allow Anna to walk on ahead. Walking just a pace behind her, she supposing he was trying to limit the amount of times he knocked her with his case. She could sense he was trying to say something, it taking all the resolve she had within her to not ask him what he wanted. He could tell or ask her anything and she wouldn't mind, she had decided. What a realisation to come to.

They reached the queue and he still hadn't spoken, the suspense was too much to bear.

'Are you trying to say something, John?'

She turned her head, he was displaying an expression of awkwardness, his whole body language was awkward. She heard him release a sigh before he finally spoke.

'Well, it's like this,' he began. 'I won't buy another man's girl a bag of chips, you see. It's not the done thing. Mary mentioned there had been...'

'I'm not seeing anyone, John,' she interrupted. What Mary had been getting at, she didn't not know. But she was most definitely single. There was only one man who occupied her thoughts. And that man was just about to buy her a medium cod and chips.

With extra vinegar.

*****************************************  
After devouring their fish and chips, they took the tube back to Vauxhall. Anna insisted she would wait for her train alone, back to her flat in Wimbledon. However, being the chivalrous man that he was, John did a little insisting of his own, and now they stood by the departure boards, waiting for Anna's platform to be announced.

The evening had been most enjoyable, being with Anna for longer than an acoustically played ballad or a brief chat in the Crawley's kitchen. It felt good to know more about each other, to be more than acquaintances now. God knows, it had been a long time coming. Anna had explained how she found her job a little mundane but the money was good. That was why she stuck at it. John felt a little down heartened at that. Someone like Anna shouldn't be spending her days doing a job that she got no enjoyment out of. Maybe she needed someone to make her happy, to give her the confidence to follow her dreams. He'd love her to share what her dreams were with him. One day perhaps.

'Platform eleven,' Anna announced, the board changing in front of them. She turned to look at him. There was that jolt again, he was beginning to wonder if it would happen every time they made eye contact. He hoped so. 'Thank you for a wonderful evening.'

'The pleasure was all mine, Anna,' he replied with all the sincerity he could find within himself. He had never meant anything more.

'See you Monday morning,' she added with a smile. And then she was walking away from him. Emptiness. The feeling spread throughout him like a raging fire. He had to extinguish it, he couldn't leave it like this. Sharing a few minutes every morning as he sang wasn't enough anymore. From somewhere, John found the courage to call her name.

'Anna.' She turned, and the blood was suddenly rushing in his ears. He could barely hear what he was asking her. 'Can I have your number?'

For a brief second he thought she would say no. The relief was indescribable as she began to walk towards him, reaching into her bag for something. Pulling out her phone, he couldn't help but smile. He find his own mobile in his pocket, handing it to her as she copied her number from her phone and keyed it into his. As she handed him back his phone, their fingers grazed each other. He gasped. Their first touch. So subtle yet it was electrifying. He could tell Anna felt it too as she gently pulled her hand away, trying to prolong the contact.

'Goodnight Anna,' he murmured. She nodded and slowly began to back away. He watched, transfixed as she turned her back and made her way towards platform eleven. Now with her gone, he felt numb. As if their past few hours together had been a dream. Then he looked at his phone, and saw her name, and her number. Walking towards the exit of the station, he opened a message window to compose a text. He couldn't resist.

**********************************  
Taking her seat, Anna tried to process what had just happened. It had been the briefest of touches, but it had felt wonderful. His skin against hers. Magical even. And so, so right. She was awoken from her reverie by a vibrating in her pocket. Retrieving her phone, she saw a number she didn't recognise but assumed to be John's. Opening the message, she tried to regulate her breathing before reading what was before her.

'_Anna, I had a wonderful evening. Are you free Sunday afternoon? Warmest regards, Your Busker_.'

'Mary,' Anna cursed under her breath. Was their anything she had told this man? Shaking her head, she couldn't stay mad for long. She composed a reply before settling down into her seat once more.

'_To My Busker, I had a lovely time too. I am free, maybe we could heat up your mother's leftovers? A x'_

She smirked. Maybe one day had arrived.


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys are just amazing, thanks for the wonderful reviews and for following the story. **

**Thanks to to my friend whose help has been invaluable :) **

* * *

She looked around her room at the piles of clothes strewn across the floor. Anna never realised she had so many clothes. Her wardrobe was virtually empty as she took a gaze at it from her position in front of her full length mirror. She released a sigh, why was it so hard to pick an outfit? Well, one reason was that John hadn't actually told her where they were going and a second was, for the first time in what seemed like forever, she really cared what she looked like on a date. For the most part, especially recently, she had been on a series of ill advised dates, mainly set up by Mary or one of her other friends, Ethel. She had never been keen to go on them, Anna beginning to realise now it was because there was only one man on her mind.

The dark blue top with her jeans would look nice, she supposed. With her leather jacket. John didn't seem the type of bloke to take her dining at the Ritz, and she didn't mind that. He seemed really down to earth, someone who was easy to talk to and genuine. That was a deal breaker. She had wasted too much time on men who made false promises and were after one thing. John was different, this felt different.

As she began to look for the top she had decided upon in the piles of clothes around her, Anna's message tone could be heard. Walking to her dresser, she picked up her phone and immediately all she could hear was the sound of her heart, thumping a quicker rhythm as she read the name on her screen. John. He must have read her mind.

_'Hey, I realise we haven't actually discussed what we are going to do tomorrow, and I'm sure you were joking about Mum's leftovers. One of my mates has given me tickets for a gig, fancy it? We can eat beforehand, I'll meet you at Waterloo at four? Hope you are well,Your Busker.'_

Hmm, did she fancy a gig? Anna was quickly realising she'd be happy wherever he took her, so long as she was with John. And she liked music, although she suspected her tastes might slightly differ from his. His busking repertoire was usually on the money though. However, she was sure he was a rocker or secretly grungy at heart, and only sang what the public wanted to hear. That appeared to be John to a fault, making others happy, especially if Mary's party was anything to go by. She opened a window to compose a reply.

'_Hi John, a gig sounds great and four is perfect. Looking forward to it, A x_'

Just as she was about to set her phone down, it vibrated in her hands. She rolled her eyes as she noticed Ethel was calling her. Slumping down on the edge of her bed, she pressed the answer button and prepared herself for whatever her friend wanted this time.

'Hi Ethel,' Anna said less than enthusiastically.

'Anna, we are going ice skating tomorrow afternoon, don't ask me why but Daisy put the idea in our heads last night. You're coming, right? We'll pick you up at half two.'

'Erm, sorry I can't.'

'Come on, Anna.' Ethel's tone was disapproving, Anna couldn't care less. 'Staying in and watching re runs of 'Don't Tell The Bride' is not a legitimate reason to not come out. We're planning to get sloshed afterwards.'

'Good,' Anna replied, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger as she spoke, trying to remain interested in the conversation. 'I'm glad you are drinking afterwards, wouldn't want to skate intoxicated. Remember what happened when you went bowling after an afternoon in the pub? Nearly took off that blokes head with a bowling ball. Imagine what would happen when there are the blades involved.'

'He ducked just in time didn't he?' Ethel argued. 'Why can't you come out, anyway? You aren't really watching telly, are you?'

Anna wasn't sure she wanted to reveal the real reason. Friends did like to try and intervene. She wasn't sure where things were going with John, but she knew outside influences would hinder what was already growing between them. She didn't want that to happen. Although they had only been trying to help, Anna just couldn't trust her friends to keep their noses out of her business. It had happened in the past, and it would probably happen again. She owed it to herself, and to John, to be discreet.

'I just don't fancy it, and if I want to stay in and watch telly, I will. I do work hard during the week, you know.'

'Alright, settle down. You're coming for a meal on Tuesday night though, yeah?'

Anna smiled as she thought about the weekly ritual she shared with her friends. 'Of course I am, you're my girls. I wouldn't miss our meal out for the world.'

'Good. Love you.'

Anna chuckled. 'Love you too, have fun and be careful.'

'And if you can't be careful buy a pram.'

'Precisely.'

****************************  
John looked at departure boards nervously, shifting from foot to foot. He couldn't put his finger on it, why he felt so nervous. He knew as soon as Anna was by his side his anxiety would simply fade away. He supposed it was because there was a small voice in the back of his mind telling him she might have had second thoughts. How anyone as beautiful and sophisticated as her could want to willingly give up her Sunday to spend with him he couldn't fathom. But it was only five to four, she wasn't late and her train was due to arrive at one minute to the hour.

He looked down at his appearance, thinking he had done the best he could. A brown suede jacket, black sweatshirt, white t shirt underneath and jeans. His flat cap was atop his head, an essential item that he seemed to wear all year round. What else would one wear to a gig? A feeling of dread came over him, he suddenly hoped Anna hadn't gone to town on what she was wearing. Although if she had it wouldn't be a bad thing. John was sure she would look great no matter what.

Then he looked to his hand, hoping he didn't come across as too lame with the single red rose he was holding. He had told his mother about his date that morning, just before sharing Sunday lunch with her. As he was washing up, she had disappeared for a little while. After a few minutes John looked out of the kitchen window to see her wearing her gardening gloves and wielding her secateurs towards her prized rose bush.

'Roses always win a girl over, John. Trust your old mammy on that,' she had advised him in her thick, Irish brogue.

Activity by a nearby platform caught John's attention, he looking up to see her train had arrived. He scanned the crowd but couldn't spot her. Furrowing his brow, he couldn't believe that his fears may have been coming true. She was no where to be seen. Just as he was about to walk closer to the platform, he felt a hand on his left arm. Turning his head, it took all the power he had within him to stay upright. It was Anna, and she looked absolutely stunning.

Thankfully she was wearing jeans, John said to himself as he drank her in. Her hair was down, the first time John had seen it like that. Her make up was understated, yet he had never felt she needed to wear that much, if at all anyway. However, it was her smile that made it hard for him to draw breath. A warm, beautiful smile that often made him forget his name for a moment.

'Hi John.'

John. That was it.

'Hello Anna,' he replied, returning her smile. Silence fell then before John remembered he was still holding the rose. He offered it to her. 'This is for you.'

'Oh John, it's beautiful,' Anna exclaimed as she took the flower from him.

'_Thank you, mother'_ John said to himself as he put his hands in his pockets before realising he hadn't actually thought through what Anna would do with the rose once she had it. She fiddled with it awkwardly. 'Ahh, would you like me to hold it or...'

'It's alright, it will fit in my bag,' Anna said as she pulled the zip open and carefully placed the rose inside. Momentarily, John wondered why women needed bags that big before he shook the thought from his mind and concentrated on the task in hand.

'I'd just like to say you look wonderful,' John began as they started to move towards the exit of the station. He could feel his confidence growing now they were in each other's company, his belief that it was the anticipation of meeting with Anna that made him nervous ringing true.

'Thank you.' The blush on her cheek from his compliment was enough to make John's heart skip a beat. 'So where are we going?'

'The O2,' he explained before adding, 'or rather the smaller venue there. I hope you don't mind but one of my busking mates couldn't use his tickets for the Paul Weller gig and offered them to me.'

For a second, John worried Anna's music interests were probably so different to his, although she didn't appear too disheartened to hear what they would be doing that evening.

'I like live music,' she said in a tone of voice that made John smile. He thought she did, that was why she had appreciated his busking, although a part of him hoped that wasn't the only reason she stopped to listen to him. Especially now. She stopped as they passed the entrance to the underground. 'So if we are going to North Greenwich, don't we need the tube?'

John shook his head. 'We are going by the river.'

'Really?' Her face was a picture. 'I've never been on the river bus before.'

'Well, then I hope it's a nice surprise for you.'

'It certainly is.'

****************************************  
John had been the perfect gentleman since they had met at Waterloo. It made Anna wonder why he hadn't already been snapped up by some other lucky lady. They had spoken about his visit to his mother's that morning. It was clear by the way he spoke about her how much of a strong, solid relationship they shared. It warmed her heart to hear a man talk about his mother in such glowing terms.

The trip on the river had been wonderful, and although she admitted it reluctantly, romantic. He had held his hand out for her to step onto the boat, and didn't let go until they had found a seat. John was extremely attentive, asking if Anna was alright and if what he had planned for them was agreeable. She had never been out with a man who cared so much about how she was feeling. It was a new sensation to her, one she found she was enjoying.

Upon reaching The O2, John suggested they get something to eat in one of the many restaurants the venue had to offer. After deciding on a bar and grill, they got on to the subject of past experiences at the venue. Anna admitted she had probably seen far too many boybands at the arena, and was one of the few who had seen Steps on their reunion tour. John promised not to hold it against her, before beginning to whistle the tune of _5,6,7,8 _every now and then until their food arrived. Her credibility was reinstalled when she told John she had accompanied her Dad to see Bon Jovi.

The conversation then turned to their favourite music, John listing some artists that Anna had never heard of. He really knew such a wide breadth of music, it amazed her as he spoke so passionately about his favourite songs and singers. To her, music was just something to be danced to when she went out clubbing or to pass the time on the train when she listened to her iPod. To John, it was a way of life. A passion.

'You sang my favourite song on the subway that morning, after Mary's party,' Anna explained as the waiter cleared their table around them. 'I expect she told you about it.'

'She did,' John admitted, looking up to the waiter to acknowledge what he was doing. 'But it's a great song, and in my list of songs I wished I had written.'

'What else is on that list?' Anna asked, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table.

'God, now there's a question.' She felt her heart flutter as he considered what she had asked him, he running a hand through his loose hair, now flat cap free. 'Well, _Tragedy_ is definitely up there.'

'Hey,' Anna said in mock indignation, throwing her rolled up napkin in his direction. 'Don't mock me.'

'Sorry,' he held up his hands in a gesture Anna found absolutely adorable. 'I guess one of this guys songs tonight, Weller. He wrote a beautiful ballad called...'

_'You Do Something To Me?'_

Their eyes met and John nodded his agreement. 'Yeah. It's a beautiful song and one I love to sing.'

'I love it too.'

And then, he was looking at her again. In only the way that John could. He was wearing a delicious smirk that Anna suddenly realised she wanted to be the reason for every time he did it.

'Shall we make a move?' He said finally, gesturing towards the door. 'Doors open in ten minutes.'

Anna nodded and rose to her feet, suddenly feeling rather warm. The way he looked at her sometimes, she felt as if she could hardly breathe. Reaching for her coat, she made harder work than was needed of putting it on before John came to her aid. Smiling in thanks, she was glad he was walking on ahead. She didn't want it to be obvious the effect he was having on her. He must have known, though. It was difficult to hide.

Anna was falling for John. Or had she already?

*************************************  
She had seemed to enjoy the concert, John was thankful for that. He had caught her singing along to some of the songs, in particular those from The Style Council portion of Weller's career. She had good taste- John preferred them to The Jam. The singer had saved his most famous solo song for last however, a composition which John wished he had the talent to write, or the muse. Who knew, maybe she had arrived?

John could feel his blood coursing around his veins as everyone around him and Anna swayed in time to the song. Anna was standing slightly in front of him. The look on her face was breathtaking as she listened to the performance, seemingly transfixed as she stared at the stage. The lyrics were speaking to him. John never just heard a song, he felt it and now as the romantic words filled the air, John could feel his hand moving towards Anna's.

'_You do something to me, something deep inside..._'

He was trembling as his fingers edged closer to their chosen destination. John's heart was beating so fast he was surprised no one could hear it over the music that filled the venue. The moment his fingers came into contact with the soft skin of Anna's hand, a warm sensation spread throughout his body. John had felt it when their fingers had brushed the other day. A feeling of completion. Like her touch was what he had been missing all his life.

Anna was looking at him now, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted. Most importantly to John, she wasn't moving her hand away. In fact, she was gripping onto his fingers in return. The concert carried on around them as they became lost in the moment. Before he could compose himself with Anna's intense gaze on him, she was stepping closer to him, then turned to face the stage once more with her back just millimetres from his front. Standing in such close proximity to Anna, their hands still gripped tightly together was driving John to distraction. She was invading his senses. Her hair smelt wonderful, her touch was divine. John looked down to see the slope of her neck, he longed to press his lips to her skin there, to taste her. This was the closest John had ever been to Anna and it was addictive.

Then the spell was broken as the song ended and Anna let go of his hand to applaud the performance. The house lights went up, John still struggling to compose himself as Anna reached for her.

No words were spoken as they made their way out of the venue. This was serious. John was coming to realise he had never felt this way before. In such a short amount of time Anna had become all John could think about. Something was happening. Something important. Something magical. And John prayed Anna felt it too. He needed her to.

**********************************  
When he touched her hand, Anna was sure she felt him shudder. She certainly had. She had revelled in the sensation brought on by the coarseness of his fingers against her own. Their hands fit, as if they had been made to hold the others. It all felt so right.

They were standing beneath the departure boards at Waterloo once again waiting for Anna's platform to be announced. It was late, but Anna felt anything but tired. After the afternoon and evening she had shared with John, she had never felt so alive. She was longing for her train to be delayed, just so she could spend more time with this man.

'I had a great evening,' John said as they stood together in the middle of the station concourse.

'Me too,' Anna agreed without missing a beat, John smiling at her enthusiastic response. 'And the concert was fantastic. I really enjoyed it.'

'I'm glad, Paul Weller is such a talented artist.'

'And it's his Style Council stuff I have to download?' Anna asked, reminding herself of the conversation she and John had on the boat back from North Greenwich.

'Yeah,' John replied before cocking his head to the side, shrugging his shoulders before continuing. 'Well, the Jam are great but The Style Council are my favourites.'

'Well they must be good if you like them.'

Her platform was called then, and Anna suddenly felt a sensation of sadness wash through her. It was so silly. They would have to say goodbye and that task felt almost monumental.

'Platform eleven,' John said softly, a small laugh following his words.

'Yep,' Anna shrugged. 'Eleven.'

'Goodbye then, Anna.' His hand was on the top of her arm, she closed her eyes at the contact. When she opened them, Anna was surprised to see he had moved towards her. Then it registered, he was going to kiss her. Her mind emptied, all she could think about was the feel of John's lips upon her skin. He had veered towards her cheek, the sensation of his breath coming in short gasps against her ear absolutely heavenly. His lips made contact with her skin and Anna was overwhelmed, feeling as if she was floating on air. And then he had pulled away, a moment which had lasted a few seconds had left an impression on Anna that had changed her forever.

In that moment she realised she never wanted another man to hold her hand, to place his lips upon her skin, or to look at her in the way that John did. No man could ever come close to making her feel the same way again.

'I'd love to do this again sometime,' John admitted, his demeanour suddenly turning a little coy. 'If you want to, of course.'

'I'd love that.'

'I'll call you tomorrow evening but text me when you get home tonight,' John requested, 'so I know you're safe.'

'I will,' Anna promised, 'and you too, or else I'll worry.'

'Well,' John began before taking a breath. His face then took on a particularly brooding expression, one which made Anna's breath hitch in her throat. 'We can't have that.'


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Thanks once again for the response to this story. It was just a little idea that played in my head and to know others enjoy it so much means a lot. I cherish every review, favourite and follow. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer**\- Downton still doesn't belong to me.

* * *

Was it cold? John didn't notice. He looked to his right to his colleague to see him jigging about, blowing onto his hands trying to warm them up. It must be, John could see his breath in the night air in front of him. However, his thoughts were filled with what he was doing this time last night. John was with Anna as the music filled the room, holding her hand, sharing a moment that he hoped was as defining for her as it was for him.

Anna had walked passed him that morning, the morning after and the smile she was wearing was absolutely breathtaking. He thought singing Weller would have been a bit obvious, so he tapped into his MJ side and tried a little bit of _The Way You Make Me Feel._ She seemed to appreciate it, leaving John a five pound note, rather than her usual two pound coin. He received a text message a few minutes later, from Anna, saying she would love to paint the town with him anytime. He had read that message a hundred times over.

'What's got you so happy?' Thomas's voice caught John's attention, cutting through his beautiful thoughts like a knife. 'Got yourself a woman, have you?'

'Even if I had I wouldn't tell you,' John replied to his fellow bouncer. He kicked the ground beneath his feet before continuing. 'I don't mind sharing a shift with you, I can't help that, but details about our private lives, I don't think so.'

'Alright,' Thomas exclaimed, raising a hand. 'Just trying to make conversation.'

He felt a vibration in his pocket as Thomas was speaking, reaching inside to reveal his phone. It was a text message from Robert.

Tomorrow night, bonfire party at my house. Don't try and get out of it, I know you're not working. See you then.

John heaved a heavy sigh. He hated fireworks. He stood out in the cold four nights a week. On his evenings off he appreciated things like sitting in an armchair, heating turned up and a cup of tea beside him. God, how old was he?

'A message from your fancy woman, is it?'

Thomas was still speaking, John did wish he would just be quiet. Choosing to ignore the question, John replied to the message confirming his attendance.

'You know, maybe a woman in your life would loosen you up a bit.'

'If I need advice on what is good for me, you are the last person I would ask, Thomas.'

John was relieved as a group of women approached the club, rather loud and looking like they were having a throughly enjoyable evening. John smiled as they reached him, stepping aside as they made their way into the venue.

'Evening ladies, special occasion is it?'

*******************************  
The garden was huge. Anna had never actually been out here before. The house was big enough, but the garden hammered home to Anna how the other half live. Mary had invited her to her father's party, Anna felt it rude to refuse. She could think of better things to be doing, like redoing her nails or being wrapped up in a blanket watching television. But fireworks were nice, she supposed.

Anna hadn't spoken to John today, their only interaction coming from his busking that morning. As she walked past, he had chosen an Oasis song, much more his comfort zone and better suited to him than Michael Jackson. She had taken to leaving him a fiver now, she did have a concert ticket and river bus journey to pay him back for after all.

'Dad's going to do the fireworks in a little while,' Mary explained as she handed Anna a cup of tea.

'Alright,' Anna smiled politely, accepting the drink. She looked across the small fire which had just been started by Matthew and Tom, Sybil's boyfriend. She saw the young couple whispering sweet nothings and sharing a joke with each other. Anna liked Tom, he had always been polite to her on the occasions they had met. Sybil was obviously smitten with him.

'Don't they make you sick?' Mary remarked, grimacing as she took in the sight of her little sister and her boyfriend.

Anna laughed awkwardly as Mary made her way back inside. However, as she watched her friend disappear into the kitchen, her heart beat quickened in a instant. She could make out a familiar figure through the window. He was smiling, that beautiful smile that Anna now saw every time she closed her eyes. Mary was showing him outside, and then he looked out of the window. Eye contact. This unexplainable weakness spread throughout her, one which she was recognising was her body's natural reaction every time she saw this man. He was walking towards her, their gaze still locked on the other from the first moment their eyes had met.

'Hello,' John said, nodding his head as he joined her. 'How are you?'

'Fine,' Anna managed to answer, clutching on to her tea a little tighter. 'You?'

'All the better for seeing you.' His smile was a little wider now, it was all Anna could do not to swoon there and then. 'I'm sorry I didn't call today. I was working last night, and it was a late one so I went home after busking and fell asleep. Next thing I knew I needed to get ready to come here.'

'That's alright, ' Anna brushed a lock of hair from her eyes. 'It's lovely to see you.'

'Shall we sit?' John suggested, pointing to two deck chairs placed a few metres from them. Anna nodded and followed John, he allowing her to sit before doing the same himself. He really was a gentleman, Anna noted.

A comfortable silence fell then, both becoming lost in the colours of the fire as they sipped quietly from their tea. More people were joining them around the fire, Matthew and Mary, Cora and Edith. They were all engrossed in a conversation about Edith's latest news story to really notice Anna and John were there. Anna didn't mind. She wanted to tell John how much of a wonderful time she had on Sunday evening, but she didn't want to come across too strong. So many times in the past she had been too over eager, revealed what was in her heart too soon and it had put men off. She couldn't bear that to happen with John. A flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, John leaning closer to Anna. She had learnt this usually indicated the man beside her was about to say something.

'You know, Anna...'

'Alright then, John.' All attention turned to Robert coming back into the garden, armed with a guitar. 'Ready for a sing song?'

Frustrated at being interrupted, John closed his eyes, sighing deeply causing Anna to chuckle softly. He turned slightly to regard his friend. 'What about the fireworks, Rob?'

'They can wait,' Robert waved away his friend's question.

'We want the fireworks, Dad,' Sybil moaned from her position sitting on Tom's lap.

'Yeah, that's why we are all here, isn't it?' Mary agreed, 'to see the fireworks, not to hear John's singing. We need to pick George up from Isobel's at ten.'

'Thanks Mary,' John saluted her in a sarcastic manner.

'Come on, Dad,' Edith encouraged her father.

Robert stuttered a little, clasping his hands together. 'See, what happened is...' He stuttered again. 'The truth is.'

'Oh Dad, what is it?' Mary huffed impatiently.

'I forgot to buy the fireworks.'

A ripple of laughter rumbled amongst the men. Anna was confused as to how a man could arrange a fireworks party, but neglect to purchase the fireworks.

Mary, ever the honest and practical one couldn't help but comment. 'How can you organise a firework party but forget to buy what we are all here to see?'

'I ran into Anthony Strallan.' Robert looked at John. 'You remember Bumbling Tony, John? Tall, blonde, posher than a Tory going fox hunting...'

'Dad,' Mary exclaimed. 'How did running into an old pal result in your forgetting fireworks?'

'We went for a pint and before I realised the time, the shop had shut.'

Anna had to admit, she didn't know Robert that well but what he had just described sounded like something Mary's father's would do.

'It doesn't matter,' Matthew tried to defend his father in law, being met with an icy glare by Mary. 'Besides, John might be able to give us that rendition of _Smells Like Teen Spirit._'

'I'm not sure everyone wants to listen to me,' John said, declining the guitar Robert was now holding in his direction.

'Well, you might as well,' Mary shrugged, 'there's nothing else to do now. I'm sure Anna would love it.'

Anna's eyes were instantly on her friend, who was finding Anna's reaction wholly amusing. Why did she have to do this? Why did Mary have to use any opportunity she could to embarrass Anna, particularly when it came to men? What Anna did notice, was that John was taking the guitar from Robert. She looked at him, he was smiling in her direction as he put the guitar strap over his head. His next words Anna decided to interpret as John standing up for her, that he understood how Mary was making her feel.

'Well, I'm very flattered someone like Anna would be interested in what I do. I can't really refuse, can I?'

'Yeah,' Tom hollered enthusiastically, 'that's what I'm talking about. Are you taking requests, John?

As he tuned in the guitar, Robert pulled up a chair to the campfire. 'Do some Eagles. Or Bowie, John.'

'No, do Nirvana,' Matthew piped up.

'Why don't we let ladies pick first?' John suggested, his gaze meeting Anna's once more. 'What would you like to hear, Anna?'

He could sing the phone book and Anna would be enthralled. 'Surprise me.'

**********************************  
After singing what seemed like the entire hits of the eighties and nineties, with a few modern classics thrown in, John was finally given a reprieve when Mary and Matthew had to return home to George. It was getting colder, but John had to say he hadn't noticed. There was a look in Anna's eyes that was keeping him more than warm enough. He had given up the guitar to a rather merry Tom, who was currently standing on a chair, pretending he was on stage at Glastonbury, Sybil playing the part of a rather over enthusiastic groupie perfectly. Edith was looking on, laughing at intervals although she seemed distant. John made a mental note to ask her later on what was on her mind.

'You were wonderful, as usual,' Anna said, her beautiful voice never failing to affect John. He couldn't help but smile, turning his head to look at her. 'I have the day off work tomorrow.'

'Lucky you,' John replied, rubbing his hands together, the cold slowly seeping in to his bones. 'And how are you planning to spend your time off?'

'Well, I was going to go and see the Poppies at the Tower Of London tomorrow, and was wondering if you'd like to join me?'

John was flummoxed. He knew they had shared a nice evening at the gig but it still amazed him every time that Anna wanted to spend time with him. Someone as gorgeous, flawless, wonderful as her. And what a perfect suggestion. With a military background, it had been John's intention to visit the memorial to those who had made the ultimate sacrifice. He couldn't imagine seeing it with anyone better than Anna.

'I'd love to,' John answered.

They shared a smile, before the moment was irreversibly shattered.

'John,' Robert called from the kitchen door. 'Matthew's car won't start. Come and help us give it a shove.'

*************************************  
She was sure her blush had covered her entire body. She felt warm, despite the cool temperature and the slight wintry breeze blowing throughout the station concourse. His smile as she approached him, under the clock as usual, heated her veins more than any fire could ever come close to. How did he manage it? Why did she allow it to happen? How could she be so weak as to allow one glance from this man render her helpless, lost.

Anna had to admit, this was probably the most dressed up he had ever seen her. She was wearing a dress and heels, despite the tights covering her legs she had noticed his gaze wandering lower. Most men who looked at her in this way made her feel uncomfortable, but John was different. She felt a thrill course through her that she realised in that moment she had never felt before. Another new sensation this man had evoked within her.

Allowing herself a rather indulgent moment, she had noticed John looking rather smart also. More than smart. He was gorgeous, Anna had already made up her mind on that fact. There was no flat cap today. His dark hair was slicked back, although, as always, there was one errant lock of hair that fell above his eyebrow. The black suede jacket he was wearing was a good choice, Anna could deduce from the top button he had left undone he was wearing a white shirt and grey sweater underneath. She had always liked that fashion on a man.

Anna had realised all this before they had even left the station. She was faintly aware of John suggesting they take the river bus once more having heard on the news that it was advised people avoided the tube due to the sheer volume of people wanting to see the Poppies. She found herself agreeing, and would never admit it to the man standing beside her that it was because just maybe, he would take her hand again to help her aboard the boat.

As they queued to board, John was talking about how the Poppies came to be at the tower, how much work had gone into the wonderful tribute. Anna was transfixed as he talked so passionately about it, clearly feeling a little closer to the memorial having been in the army himself. Anna knew John had seen some traumatic sights in the past, having heard Mary's tales about what her father had experienced. John and Robert were both in the same regiment, on the same missions at the same time so must have shared experiences that had formed an unbreakable bond between them.

The conversation died down a little as they reached the boat. And Anna's hopes were realised. John stepped forward a little before holding his hand out in Anna's direction. He was grinning, Anna couldn't help but reciprocate. Moving a trembling hand towards his, she grasped her whole hand around three of his fingers, his hands were that much bigger than hers. She liked that though. It gave her a feeling of being safe, secure. Then his thumb began to caress the backs of her fingers. He hadn't done that last time. It felt heavenly. Breathtakingly perfect. She couldn't look at him in the moment, the sensations of his fingers moving against hers meaning one look and it would all become too much. Anna walked forward, avoiding his gaze. He stepped on behind her, their fingers still entwined by their sides as Anna searched for a seat. He had stilled the movements of his fingers, Anna didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. They found somewhere to sit at the back of the boat.

On the journey to the tower, Anna quickly noticed John had put his arm around the seat behind her. God, what this man was doing to her and the thing was, he probably didn't even notice. She tried to regulate her quickened breathing as John pointed out The Globe theatre. Anna admitted she was a bit of a fan of Shakespeare. Most people were surprised when Anna revealed this, thinking it somewhat too high brow for her tastes, but not John. He smiled warmly, even nodding. After revealing he wasn't that much of an admirer of Shakespeare himself, John backed up his remark by saying the man was responsible for taking up hours of his teenage years he would never get back. Anna couldn't help but laugh. There was an honesty John possessed that Anna wished she could find an ounce of within her.

As they grew nearer to the tower, Anna noticed John become quieter, taking on a melancholy demeanour. She heard him sigh, and was recognising that with the memories he stored within his mind, this day could be quite difficult. Sure, the memorial was there to remember those who had fallen in The Great War, but she understood it could be a poignant place for any member of the armed services, regardless of which battles they had fought.

Approaching the tower, Anna was taken aback by the crowds. The country of her birth carried out events like this like no other nation in the world could come close to doing. They stopped for a moment, and Anna could sense that John was looking at her. He wasn't smiling however, but there was a warmth in his eyes, a sense of gratitude perhaps that Anna had asked him to accompany her today. He offered her his arm, Anna understanding that he must have sensed her nervousness at walking through the hoards of people ahead of them. She gratefully took his invitation, linking her arm through his. Once he had put his hand back in his jacket pocket, they continued and found a gap at the fencing, overlooking the grand display that had been painstakingly put together.

The Poppies all planted together created an image that Anna was sure she would never extinguish from her mind. Each one represented a person, a son, father, brother, someone with a family and hopes and dreams of their own. Each had made the ultimate sacrifice for their King and country, to give everyone at the tower that day their freedom. Every man, and indeed woman nowadays, who joined the army was in essence, making that promise. John had made that promise, although thank God it had never come to that, not for him anyway. That realisation hit her quite hard, and she could feel tears stinging in the back of her eyes, caught up in the whole atmosphere and emotion that charged around the Tower of London.

She clutched John's arm a little tighter and in the next moment felt him place his hand over the one that Anna had rested on the crook of his arm. She looked up. What she saw, it caused her to gasp, thankfully just quietly enough that only she could hear it. There was a solitary tear falling down John's cheek. Anna's heart ached. She longed to reach up, wipe that tear from his face and assure John that everything was alright. But clearly it wasn't, not for him. She suddenly felt guilty for asking him here, but her fears were quashed when he moved his head to look at her, the slightest tug of a smile playing at his lips.

'This is beautiful,' he whispered, moving his hand to wipe the tear that had escaped his eye before his small laugh filled the air. 'I don't mean to embarrass you.'  
'I'm not embarrassed.' Anna had never uttered a truer statement in her life. 'I have some knowledge of your past, of your history with Robert. Mary has mentioned it before. Which is why I am feeling a little bad at having asked you to come here today. I should have realised that this might be painful for you.'

'Please, don't feel like that. I have been meaning to come down here, I just never found the right time.' John looked over his shoulder, noticing a small kiosk in the distance that sold coffee. 'Can we get a drink, over there?'

Anna nodded, following John with her arm still through his as he navigated their way through the crowd. He bought her coffee at one of the outlets by the river, and the sat on a bench, overlooking the Thames, Tower Bridge the backdrop. Anna allowed John to do all the talking, wanting to be everything he needed her to be in that moment. And right now, he needed her to listen.

John explained about his last deployment within the army, with Robert. Once they were through, after the six months, both would be retiring from the army. Forty years service between them. They had done their bit. John would return to civilian life, perhaps get a job in the fire service. Robert and Cora had plans of opening their own hotel. Both of them were set. Deployments to Bosnia and Iraq had resulted in their fair share of scrapes, but nothing too damaging, they had been the lucky ones. John laughed as he recalled stories of the camaraderie between the men in his regiment. How he regarded them as brothers.

'I would have died for any one of them,' he admitted with a seriousness to his tone that meant Anna knew he wasn't lying. She couldn't begin to comprehend the bonds soldiers form with each other when in operation. The fact you would give your life to save those around you. Like a family, she supposed.

He broke down then, and Anna was left completely speechless. This poor man kept this side of him completely locked away. She would never have had any idea if Mary hadn't spoken about it. John appeared to have such a sunny outlook on life from the outside, but inside he was harbouring painful memories that no person should have to cope with alone. Although she felt like this man knew her like no other, there was so much about John, Anna didn't know yet. She knew better than to question him further, however. If he wanted to reveal more, he would. All she wanted to do in that moment was place her arms around John. So she did. Her arm came to rest around his shoulders. John leaned into her touch, his hands covering his face, his coffee long since dropped to the ground. She brought her other arm around his front to gently rub John's shoulder, in an attempt to soothe him. Slowly, his sobs subsided until the silence became almost deafening. If he wanted her to hold him for a hundred years, she would have done it. But sooner than she would have liked, he was sitting up and Anna relinquished her touch on him.

'Sorry,' he spluttered, rubbing his eyes furiously. 'I shouldn't have done that.'

'It's alright,' Anna whispered, 'really it is. You do whatever you need to do.'

'Believe me, collapsing on you a jibbering wreck is not how I envisaged today going.'

'And how did you envisage today going, Mr Bates?' Her tone was teasing, and Anna believed John appreciated it as he smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever.

'That we'd see the Poppies, hear the Last Post and that then you would accompany me to dinner.' His smile broadened. 'Does that sound like something Miss Smith would enjoy?'

'I think Miss Smith would enjoy that very much.'

***************************  
God, why had he allowed himself to lose control like that? This was a side of himself that he had promised Anna wouldn't see. Not yet, anyway. Yes, his memories of his last deployment were painful, but he was dealing with them. Or so he thought. He reasoned that the emotions of the day, what they were doing, were probably the catalyst for his breakdown but still, he hoped Anna didn't think any less of him.

He banished those thoughts from his mind. Anna would never think like that, she didn't have that judgemental streak within her. She had wrapped him in her embrace, her warm welcoming embrace and for those few moments she became his safety net, his port in the storm. He found his memories subsiding until all he could feel was her arms wrapped around him and this feeling of comfort overwhelmed him. He had never felt it before. She felt like home.

After hearing the Last Post, thankfully she had accepted his arm once again, and they had dinner in a restaurant near the tower. Anna didn't ask about what had caused what happened beside the river earlier, and he was glad of that. They spoke about how beautiful the Poppies looked, and what a moving tribute they were. John couldn't help but come back to the same thought over and over again, how stunning Anna looked. With her coat discarded now they were in the warmth of the restaurant, he couldn't help but appreciate how her dark blue dress accentuated the curve of her body. He hated himself for thinking of Anna in that way, and only allowed these thoughts to pass through his mind for the briefest of seconds. However, he was but a man, the weakest of all creatures.

Her hair was particularly beautiful. Framing her perfect face, her eyes bluer today than he had noticed before. She was now talking about Shakespeare and trying to defend his work. Her manner was always displaying a hint of the mischievous, trying to provoke a reaction from him which John was trying hard to ignore.

'All I'm saying is,' John finally gave in as he finished the last spoonful of his dessert. 'All the times I spent in my bedroom trying to analyse why some Danish king would be so at war with the world was time I could have spent doing other things.'

'Other things,' she paused for a moment, her eyebrow raised. Her smirk was delicious. John missed a breath at the sight of it. 'In your room?' He felt himself blush, that wasn't what he meant and Anna knew it. 'Did you spend a lot of time in your room during your teenage years?'

The minx. John searched for anything to change the subject. 'Lets get the bill, shall we?'

Arriving back at the station, they waited beneath the departure boards for Anna's train to be announced. When it was, the same disheartening feeling came over John that always did when they were about to say goodbye. Anna moved in front of him, looking up and meeting his gaze.

'I had a wonderful afternoon and evening with you, John.'

'Me too,' he replied without missing a beat, clenching his jaw in an attempt not to reveal how hard it was to part from her. He could feel an urge rising within him as they stared into each other's eyes. They had never shared a kiss before, just the brief touch of his lips on her cheek. But after today, what they had shared, he wanted to more than anything. John wanted to kiss Anna.

He took her hand in his. He heard Anna gasp. His heartbeat began to thunder in his ears upon hearing it. In the next moment John found himself moving towards her. Anna wasn't moving away. John was mentally preparing himself for the sensation of brushing his lips against hers, how soft they would feel. There was hardly anything between them now, John closed his eyes. This was it.

'Can I have your attention please. This is a platform alteration.'

The announcement over the tannoy was louder than any of them had been expecting. Anna jumped away, and the moment was shattered. John released her hand, the two of them simply staring at each other. She wasn't smiling. He mentally begged her to say something, anything.

'I should get going.'

Okay, maybe not just anything. Her words cut through him. His response was weak.

'Alright.'

She nodded. Had he gone to far? She must have known his intention was to kiss her. Maybe she hadn't wanted him to and the announcement was a welcome relief. Maybe his display earlier had altered her opinion of him. No, it wouldnt have done. Anna wasn't like that. All John knew, was that he couldn't end today like this.

'Text me when you get home.' His remark was more of a question than a demand.

'I will.'

The relief he felt as she smiled was indescribable. Maybe he had got away with that one. She waved before turning on her heel and picking up her pace towards her platform. As he left the station that night John decided any 'physical acts', how he hated that phrase, that occurred between him and Anna would happen on her terms. Perhaps she had some memories from her past that burdened her somewhat. They still had so much to learn about each other.

John just prayed after today, Anna still wanted to find out.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I was holding out on you. I have actually had the last two chapters ready for over a fortnight. Because of the wonderful response to the last chapter and what series 5 has left us with, I am giving you this next one as well. Thanks so much :) **

**I love the modern fictions posted here, especially the ones with a touch of the comedic about them. There is a more jovial tone to this chapter than the last, I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer**\- Nope, Downton is still not mine.

* * *

Standing in the cold winter's night, the club not particularly busy this evening, John allowed his mind to wander. Weeks had passed and soon everyone was caught up in the excitement only Christmas could bring. John liked Christmas, memories of his childhood in Ireland still warming his heart on the cold London nights.

However recently his heart had been warmed for a completely different reason.

Anna. Ever since that November day at the Poppies, their friendship had only seemed to grow and grow. Meeting for dinner on occasions, going to the cinema, seeing each other at the Crawley's, exchanging what seemed like a hundred texts a day. To know Anna wanted to spend time with John still had him confused, but he'd be a fool to question it.

They would always hold hands on their meetings now, whether it be to and from the car or whilst watching a movie. During one particularly frightening film, Anna even found solace in resting her head on John's shoulder. That film had since become one of his most favourites, and it was nothing to do with what was going on on the screen. But there was one thing which was still to come, one bridge they were still yet to cross.

That elusive first kiss.

John ended every date with a kiss on the cheek, praying Anna would turn her head or meet him halfway. She never did. Although, the chemistry that seemed to crackle between them non stop suggested to John that Anna was very interested in him. He had stayed true to his word however, anything that happened between them was on her terms. They had been getting to know each other better, but John couldn't help but think something had happened to her before they had met. And for that reason, he wouldn't push his luck.

But something had to give. He'd heard of respectful courtships, this was a little bit over the top.

********************************  
'What do you mean he hasn't kissed you yet?' Daisy exclaimed as Gwen reached their table with a tray of drinks.

Ethel, in the middle of a phone call, covered the speaker of her phone before whispering, 'he hasn't even kissed you?'

It was the Tuesday night ritual between Anna and her friends, their 'date night' as Ethel liked to call it. Anna had revealed she was seeing someone, but hadn't told them his identity or especially how they had met. They had been supportive and thankfully, none of their paths ever crossed with Anna's other close friend, Mary.

'I just don't get it,' Anna continued, smiling at Gwen when she passed her her drink. Anna looked up to see Ethel seemingly listening to what Anna was saying and still holding a conversation on the phone at the same time. 'Ethel, will you get off the phone? I had to listen to you describe the trauma of running out of anti bacterial gel whilst using the Underground, the least you can do is listen to me.'

'Carry on, honey,' she whispered, 'I can hear you.'

Rolling her eyes, Anna continued. 'There is a spark between us, I know. The way he looks at me,' Anna stopped talking, sighing out loud causing Daisy and Gwen to share knowing looks and smiles. 'I just don't know why he won't kiss me.'

'Maybe his doo dah doesn't work,' Ethel supposed.

'Ethel!' Anna exclaimed.  
'What?' Ethel shrugged before pointing at her phone. 'I didn't say that to you, I said that to Steve.'

A collective groan of realisation passed between the three other women. Gwen and Daisy announced they were visiting the ladies, Anna nodding in acknowledgement. She took the stirrer in her drink between her thumb and forefinger and rotated it a few times, staring at the liquid in her glass as she did so. Ethel's conversation continued in the background, Anna wasn't really taking much notice.

She rested her head on the hand that wasn't stirring her drink and sighed. She just couldn't stop thinking about John. He had invaded her mind and she had to admit, it was a glorious feeling. To feel this way about somebody, it was all Anna had ever wanted. It was early days, she knew that but Anna would be lying to say she wasn't disappointed she and John hadn't shared a kiss. Maybe he didn't fancy her enough. No, it couldn't have been that. Anna was a woman, she knew when a man was interested. Either that or acting was another string to John's rather impressive bow.

Perhaps her reaction to the kiss they almost had at the station confused John. She was going to kiss him, she had wanted John to kiss her. The tannoy had startled her and she jumped. In that moment it dawned on her how much John meant to her, especially after what they had shared that afternoon. She needed to get away, to have time to process everything, to breathe.

'Oh dear, Anna. Over analysing in that little head of ours again are we?' Ethel had finished her phone call and was now casting a quizzical eye over the woman sitting opposite her.

'What do you know, Ethel? You've been chatting on your phone since we got in the taxi.'

'I can listen to more than one conversation at a time,' Ethel shrugged, 'it's a skill, especially handy when you are as nosey as I am.'

'Your mother must be so proud.'

Ethel chose to ignore her friends comment. 'Are you coming clubbing on Saturday? The last big Saturday night before Christmas, baby.'

'I've already told the other girls, I can't.' Anna replied before taking a sip of her drink. 'I'm going to a party at my boss' parent's house. But we are all getting together next Tuesday like we always do.'

'Are you going back home for Christmas?' Ethel enquired before adding, 'Mum practically begged me to go back this year. Apparently my little sister needs whipping into shape.'

Anna shook her head. 'Dad has taken Mum to Mauritius for Christmas and my brother is busy at work so isn't coming over from America so no one shall be at home. Me and Gwen are spending Christmas together.'

'Aren't we all so lucky, that we have each other?' Ethel smiled, running a finger over the rim of her glass as she spoke. 'Four Yorkshire girls finding each other in a big, bad southern city.'

'Yes, the South Bank University didn't know what had hit it that year.'

As the words left her mouth, Anna heard her message alert tone. Reaching into her bag, she saw that it was a text from John. Immediately, her heartbeat quickened as with fumbling fingers, she swiped the screen to unlock the device.

'Calm down, Anna. He's only a man.'

What Ethel didn't realise was John wasn't only a man. He was so much more that that.

What was it with this woman? Whenever John was with her, he never felt the cold, when they were apart thoughts of her were enough to keep him warm. After sharing dinner, they walked along the South Bank towards Waterloo, which had become almost routine as they ended their time together, Anna was in a delightfully playful mood. There was an age gap, John knew it now to be a decade. But it never showed, not for John anyway. They were so in tune with each other, it was never noticeable.

She was holding his hand, but swinging their arms as they walked. They had got onto the subject of music, but this time it was Anna's tastes under the microscope. Adele was her idol, John had established that pretty early on. However, her revelations had left John wondering if he really knew Anna at all.

'So your tastes consist of pretty boys with more six pack than singing talent?'

'Yeah, so?' She shrugged, stopping before standing in front of John, their hands still entwined and looking up at him. 'Explains why I admire your talent so much.'

John regarded her for a moment, his eyes narrowed. She couldn't be serious, then she began to laugh and it was confirmed for him. 'Ha Ha. The only six packs on this body will be the John Smith's I share with Robert on Saturday night.'

As they continued to walk hand in hand, John looked over to see Big Ben displaying the time as half past ten. Another evening in Anna's company had flown by. But he was also reminded of a bet they had made over dinner. Mary's snooping into their relationship had become a running joke between the pair, but Anna was adamant, after a word with her friend, she wouldn't be texting to ask how their date was going. John wasn't so sure.

'Has she been in touch yet?' John asked, gesturing towards Anna's bag.

'Nope.' She looked entirely too pleased with herself. 'And would you credit it? We are nearly back at Waterloo. Looks like you are going to lose the bet.'

They walked past the Shell Building and John had to concede defeat, the stairs to Waterloo now visible. 'Alright. What is my punishment?'

'When I walk past you in the morning, you shall be singing a song of my choosing.'

'Oh God,' John cringed, looking to the heavens. 'I'll have to be honest and say my knowledge of nineties pop isn't the best.'

But Anna wasn't listening. She had spotted a Christmas novelty store just at the bottom of the stairs and was already leading John towards it. Jumpers, t-shirts and headwear all with a Christmas theme were on display. He wasn't a Scrooge by any means, but he always felt people who wasted their money on such things probably had too much money to spare. And now Anna was buying something. John stood back as she made her purchase before she turned around, the most beautiful grin brightening her features. She was holding reindeer antlers, complete with bells.

'Seeing as you lost the bet, I want you to sing Dancing Queen by ABBA tomorrow morning, wearing these.'

John raised an eyebrow as he took the offending item from Anna, jangling them for effect. She was laughing, and John had to admit it was a wonderful sound, like music to his ears. What he would give to make her laugh for the rest of his days.

'I accept your challenge, Miss Smith,' John's manner was determined as he placed the antlers on his head. 'But only because I am an honourable man and an honourable man keeps to his word.'

'You look ridiculous, talking about honour with those on your head.'

'I'll have you know, if Rudolph hadn't stepped in when he did that foggy Christmas Eve no children would have got their presents that year. That's pretty honourable.'

'You have an answer for everything.'

******************************************  
Anna was secretly looking forward to this. She had bought John a coffee along with hers this morning, hoping to soften the humiliation of having to perform wearing the antlers. As she approached the walkway, she could hear a singing voice she would now recognise anywhere. Slowing her pace, Anna peered around the corner to see a crowd gathered around Her Busker, and sure enough the antlers were upon his head. Unable to keep the smile from her face, she continued on her way towards John. He was looking in her direction now and he reciprocated her smile almost instantly.

'You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...'

John was accepting his punishment with good grace, Anna had to admit. He was really giving his all to the song but then again, Anna didn't expect anything less. As she reached him, she saw he had almost double the money he would normally have at this time of the morning. The antlers must have really been working for him. Either that or he had a new line of admirers.

She stood and watched as he finished the song, receiving a round of applause from a small crowd that had gathered in front of him. He bowed, before they all dropped their loose change in his case.

'Thank you, Merry Christmas.'

Then his attentions were on Anna, and she suddenly remembered she was holding a coffee for him. 'This is for you. Thought you might need it, it's quite cold today.'

'Thank you.' John moved his guitar so it was resting on his back and gratefully took the coffee from Anna. He began to take a sip before grinning. Anna was intrigued.

'What is it?'

'Nothing,' he shook his head, still wearing that grin

'John Bates, it's something. Tell me.'

He did something next that Anna found adorable, cocking his head to the side a little, suddenly becoming a little coy. 'This is the first time you've actually stopped to talk to me in the morning. It's nice.'

Anna couldn't stop the blush that was flooding her cheeks, especially when John was looking at her in the way in which he was right now. He must know the effect he had on her, it was all she could do to hide it these days.

'Well, things are different now, aren't they?'

'They most definitely are.'

The man just oozed charm, simple things said in a certain way and Anna was lost. Clearing her throat, Anna averted her eyes from John and looked at her watch.

'I need to get going, but I'll see you tomorrow night, yeah?'

'Oh yes, can't wait.' And with those words, John finished his coffee in one then gently gripped Anna's arm. 'See you tomorrow.'

In the next moment, Anna was moving away, looking back over her shoulder to see John rearranging his guitar. He noticed her looking at him and offered a little wave. Anna waved back then turned in her heel and continued on her way.

Tomorrow evening couldn't come soon enough.

*********************************  
There may have been thirty or so other people at the party, Robert and Cora's friends but John could honestly say he hadn't noticed them. From the moment Anna walked through the door following Mary, everyone and everything else had paled into comparison. She had been forced to help Mary in the kitchen at first, but he watched from his position by the mantelpiece in the living room as she went about tasks, appearing every so often to carry trays of food through to the dining room.

She was wearing a gorgeous red dress, her hair was up, ringlets he supposed they were called, hanging down at the front. He couldn't find words adequate enough to describe how beautiful she looked this evening. She was laughing, smiling and John had never seen a more perfect sight in all his life. Anna hadn't noticed him yet, but Mary was taking drink requests and Anna seemed to be fulfilling them so it was only a matter of time, he supposed.

'Food should be ready in a little bit, Uncle John,' Sybil said, approaching him. 'Are you alright? You seem in your own world.'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' John replied, wrapping his arms around his Goddaughter. 'I have something for you actually.'

'Oh, I love presents,' Sybil cooed, clasping her hands together. John handed her an envelope. 'What's this?'

'Well, a rather large birdy in the form of your father told me you and Tom were planning on moving in together in the new year. So here is some money towards whatever you want to do.'

Sybil tore into the envelope, revealing a cheque. She gasped upon reading it. 'Uncle John, I can't accept this.'

'You can and you will, I am your Godfather and with no children of my own to spoil, I am going to spoil you.'

Pulling John into her embrace, Sybil kissed him on the cheek. They stayed this way for a few moments until John saw Anna walking in his direction, holding what looked like the drink he had asked Mary for. He broke away from Sybil, stroking her cheek and winking at her before she hurried rather excitedly to find Tom.

'Good evening,' Anna greeted John, handing him his drink.

'Evening,' John smiled, taking the glass from her. 'Thank you.'

'Mary has me on waitressing duties, but I'll be over to speak to you soon.'

'You look really pretty tonight,' John said with all the sincerity he could muster. Anna's grin in response made John relieved he had the wall behind him for support.

'Anna!'

Mary was calling for Anna from the kitchen, she rolling her eyes so only John could see. 'I'll be back.'

The evening continued in much the same way. Anna and John barely spent any time together, much to his chagrin. Once she had finished helping her friend, some colleagues from the fashion house were monopolising her time. She appeared to be enjoying herself, and John would have hated to interrupt so he remained in his place by the mantelpiece. Watching her. Falling for her even more, it would seem.

He sensed his opportunity to get Anna on her own when she went into the kitchen. Striding across the room, John reached the door just as Anna was about to walk out again. Their gaze met, and John was suddenly speechless. He just didn't know what to say. Watching Anna tonight had made him realise how utterly out of his league she really was.

'Oh my god, John and Anna are under the mistletoe!'

Sybil was practically jumping up and down and clapping her hands together a few feet from them. John and Anna looked up simultaneously to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the top of the doorframe. He looked down to meet Anna's eye again.

'Aren't you going to kiss her?' Mary asked as she moved to stand beside Sybil.

'Lucky man, Bates. Getting Anna under the mistletoe,' Robert teased, tapping his friend o n the shoulder. 'Kiss her, then.'

John realised this was it, the moment he had been waiting weeks for. He and Anna were about to share their first kiss. He began to move towards her and just as their lips were about to meet, Anna ducked out of the way and ran out of the living room. He was so confused. What was going on? Why didn't Anna want to kiss him?

He chased her out of the room, finding her in the hallway of the house, hastily putting on her coat.

'Anna, what's wrong?' She turned to regard him and John could see she was starting to cry. 'I'm really sorry, but I'm so confused. Don't you want me to kiss you?'

'Not like that.' Her tone was sharp, angry even and John didn't like it. Anna had never addressed him in this way, her voice tore through John like a blade, tearing his soul. 'I want you to kiss me because you want to, not because you are being egged on by Mary and her Dad.'

Without another word, she walked towards the front door. John followed her, panic stricken that he had ruined the one good thing in his life, the only thing he was coming to realise that was real. Anna was already hailing a cab as John reached the doorstep. She was heading for the tube. District line. Fulham Broadway was the nearest station. If he headed to Parsons Green which was the next station along, he might just make it to Wimbledon before Anna and intercept her. Realising he had forgotten his jacket, it didn't matter. He had to get to that station before Anna, he needed to.

**************************  
She opened up her compact. What a state. How had she let a man be the cause of her tears once again? Her father had always told Anna the one man who was worth her tears would never make her cry. Well she thought she had finally found that man in John. Maybe she had overreacted, she didn't know. All she knew was when John was leaning in for the kiss, all she could think was that it didn't feel right, he was only doing it because everyone was telling him to. And that wasn't the reason why Anna wanted John to kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her because it felt natural, because a moment they had shared had lead to them wanting to engage in the most sweetest of acts.

Stepping off the train at Wimbledon, wishing she had walked to Fulham Broadway instead of hailing a taxi which meant she was stuck in traffic for twenty minutes, Anna tried to focus on the next few days she would be spending with Gwen. The fashion house had closed for the Christmas break and wouldn't open until the new year. Time with her best friend, that was what Anna needed.

As she walked towards the barriers, Anna reached into her pocket for her Oyster card. She couldn't have been prepared for what was about to happen once she passed through them. She looked up to see John leaning against the wall looking completely distraught. Anna's pulse was thundering in her ears, had he really chased her all the way here? And why? She moved away from the barriers.

'John?' She called. Her voice echoed. They were the only people on the station concourse. He turned his head and stood up straighter. His expression was unreadable, Anna didn't know what to do, what to say.

He began to close the gap between them, his pace slow at first but quickening the closer he got to her. Anna felt like she was watching this moment from outside her body, sensing what was to come. The intensity of the atmosphere between them was overwhelming her, she didn't know what else to do but wait and see what John did. She soon got her answer.

His lips were on hers with such a passionate force it caused her to move backwards a few steps, pushing her into the wall. She could do nothing but succumb to his advances. His lips were moving against hers with a practiced perfection, John kissing her in only a way an experienced man like him could. She willingly allowed him to deepen the kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders for fear of floating away with the pure pleasure of finally sharing a kiss with him. His hands were possessive on her waist, gripping tightly to her hips and pulling her as tightly to him as he possibly could. Anna had never felt desire like it, never felt sensations like those flooding her body right now. But soon, the need for air became too much and the moment was ending. John brushed his lips against Anna's one last time, the sound of his harsh breathing harmonising with her gasps for air.

Anna had never heard John's voice sound the way it did as he spoke, so full of raw passion and emotion. 'If I had it my way, I'd be able to kiss you whenever I wanted, hold you whenever I wanted, be with you whenever I wanted. I wanted to kiss you earlier, not because other people were telling me to, but because it is all I have wanted to do from the first moment I ever saw you. This feels right to me Anna.'

Anna couldn't help it, tears were escaping her eyes. To hear John say those words, it was all she had ever wanted. To now know he wanted her as much as she wanted him. And it felt wonderful.

'All I know is I want you to kiss me like that every single time.'

'God knows Anna, I want to be given the chance to try to.'

'We'll take things slowly though, yeah?' Anna stroked his cheek, he leant into her touch. the skin of his face felt heavenly beneath her trembling fingertips. One thought was racing through her mind, she had had to voice her fears, praying john understood. 'I don't want to screw this up.'

'As slowly as you want,' John agreed, much to her relief before resting his forehead against Anna's. 'But please let me walk you home.'

'I'd like that.'

**It finally happened- yay!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N thanks for all the reviews, you guys are amazing. **

**I'm finding the chapters are coming in twos at the moment, so another should probably follow before the weekend is through, if I find the time to proof read it :) **

**Downton** **still isn't mine...**

* * *

Happiness. John had found it to be something that happened to other people, particularly over the past few years. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had could say he was truly happy. Perhaps it was, strangely, an evening spent in the company of his comrades on his last deployment in Iraq. When no one was on operation, simply in the communal areas on camp, relaxing with men he had come to regard as brothers. However, something recently had John feeling like he could be happy again. After everything, life could be good again.

Anna.

Since that kiss, John had barely slept. He didn't want to forget one second of that night at the station, fearing slumber might hinder his memory of what was the most perfect few minutes of his life. It had been that affirming for him. As if a missing piece within him had been found. He realised after saying goodbye to Anna that evening, he would give anything to relive it, holding her in his arms, trying to convey all he felt in one action.

It was now Christmas Day, and John hadn't seen Anna since that night. She had begun her 'girls only' Christmas with Gwen the day after and John headed to his mother's to stay like he had done every Christmas since his divorce. It wasn't easy, only cementing further to John how much Anna had become to him. In a way, in frightened him. How in such a short space of time Anna had completely turned his life around.

'What are you brooding about this time, my boy?' John was shaken from his reverie by his mother's Irish tones which had always been enough to bring him back to the present. 'The Queen is going to be on in a minute, you best be standing to attention for Her Majesty.'

John smirked. His mother always innocently turned a phrase without really considering how it might be interpreted. Maybe he had a one track mind, though.

'Yes mam,' he replied softly, regarding her through a half lidded gaze. How he adored the woman sitting before him. Always the one to tell him how it was, always the one to bring him back from the brink. He was sure when she envisaged having children, like most young women do, how John turned out wouldn't have been her shining image. But she loved him, her Johnny. And God, how much he loved her. John couldn't put it into words.

John's message alert tone made his mother jump, he still finding it amusing four days into his staying with her that she still hadn't got used to the noise.

'Jesus John, you're going to give me a heart attack with that thing one of these days,' she said as she put a hand to her chest. 'Honestly, you young'uns and these modern contraptions.'

He leant forward to pick up his phone. 'Firstly, I'm the wrong side of forty now mum so hardly young and secondly, the mobile phone has been around for over half of my life. Hardly modern.'

Anna's name was the first thing he noticed on the screen. John couldn't help but smile. They hadn't text each other that day, it was lovely to see her name. Opening the message, his eyes became wider and a grin lit up his features as a photo flashed up on screen, of Anna wearing a paper crown and the most hideous Christmas jumper John had ever seen. Underneath were the words, _'Merry Christmas, missing you x'_

Clenching his jaw, John had to admit he felt the same. Suddenly, an unusual feeling washed over him. He had to hear Anna's voice. Seeing her picture, knowing she was somewhere else in the world living through this day like he was, he just had to speak to her.

'I'm just going to make a call, Ma.'

'Sit down,' John's mother barked before he had even risen to his feet. 'The only people you call on Christmas Day are your family. And seeing as I am that, you aren't calling anyone, especially to interrupt them when they are with their own family.'

'I'll be five minutes, that's all,' John said in response, this time standing up and walking towards the door. 'I'll be back before the Queen comes on.'

'Make sure you are, and bring me a mince pie on your way back in.'

Reaching the kitchen, John shut the door before finding Anna's number on his phone. He took a breath before hitting the call button, then rested the phone between his ear and shoulder as he went about preparing his mother a mince pie. It seemed to take an eternity for Anna to answer, John completing his task of placing a mince pie on a plate before he heard her voice.

'Hello you.'

Her voice was like a music, a jolt to his heart.

'Hello,' he replied, turning to look out of the kitchen window and regard his mother's garden as he spoke, his tone teasing. 'I liked the picture very much, and your choice of knitwear.'

'Oh don't,' Anna exclaimed, John could almost see her covering her eyes with her hand over the phone line. 'Me and Gwen both bought each other hideous jumpers to wear today. I thought I'd outdone her, but obviously not.'

'You look adorable,' John tried to reassure her, 'but you aren't actually leaving the house like that, right?'

' Ha Ha! Says the man who performed ABBA wearing Reindeer antlers.'

'I'll have you know those antlers earned me an extra twenty quid,' John rebuked, Anna laughing at his response.

He could imagine how she looked right now. Her face beaming, her eyes dancing. And suddenly he was melancholy. How he longed to feel her fingers wrapped around his, to be able to hold her gaze, to be lucky enough to kiss her again. And again. Was this what it felt like? To be in love with somebody?

'I miss you.'

'I miss you too, but we are seeing each other tomorrow night.'

'Dinner on the South Bank,' John said with a smile. 'I can hardly wait.'

'Gwen is calling me, I've got to go.'

'Of course you have, sorry for interrupting your day, I just wanted to say hi.'

'I'm very glad you did. Until tomorrow.'

'Until tomorrow. Goodbye Anna.'

John was silent as he walked back into the living room, handing his mother her mince pie before settling back in his armchair. His mind was filled with thoughts of Anna, he was finding out he thought about little else.

'That girl has got you hook, line and sinker, hasn't she my boy?'

And then some, John thought to himself.

******************************  
Anna almost floated back to join Gwen in the living room, unable to keep the smile from her face. Settling back onto her end of the sofa, she had taken a sip of her wine without even looking at her friend. She couldn't avoid it any longer, however. Looking up, she saw she was holding Gwen's undivided attention.

She decided to be coy. 'What?'

'Who was that on the phone?'

'Someone,' Anna shrugged. 'Wishing me a Merry Christmas.'

Gwen's eyebrow was arched, never a good sign. 'Anna May Smith, I know you.'

And that she did, that was the annoying thing, ever since they met in the common room at the South Bank University and realised they shared the same accent. Gwen Dawson simply got her. A better friend she had never known. Anna knew she was going to have to relent, to some degree at least. Sighing deeply, Anna put the TV on mute and sat forward a little.

'You can't tell anyone, not even Daisy or Ethel. Not yet.'

'Ooh, juicy,' Gwen put her wine glass down, Anna knew she had piqued her friends interest when she put her alcohol down. 'I promise.'

'Only Mary knows, and that's because by some cruel way of fate she knows the guy.'

'Okay, I'll try not to be too upset your snobby other friend knew before me.'

'Gwen,' Anna's tone was impatient, her friendship with the eldest Crawley daughter had never been welcomed by Gwen.

Mary had been good to Anna at university, yet she had never really got to know Gwen and the others. Their paths had never really crossed if all was told, Anna and Mary enrolled in the same course whilst Gwen, Ethel and Daisy all took completely different ones. The only common factor between Anna and the three of them were their Yorkshire roots.

Thinking about how she was going to explain all that happened in the past few weeks, Anna felt a warm comforting sensation wash over her, imagining all the times she had spent with John, the way he looked at her, his tone of voice when he addressed her, how his skin felt against hers when they held hands, his lips sending her to places she had never been.

'I used to pass this busker every day at Waterloo. There was something about him, he had me captivated. Whenever I would walk past, we would make eye contact and I'd have to stay and listen to him finish, then leave him some money. This went on for months until...'

'Woah...' Gwen interrupted trying to get her head around it all. 'This went on for months and you never told me?'

'There was nothing to tell,' Anna shrugged, 'he was a busker, I was one of the many commuters that passed him by until one evening we went clubbing, and he was the bouncer on the door.'

'Oh my God, the cute one outside Sugar and Spice?' Gwen squealed, Anna grimacing at her friends tone of voice. 'Hair always immaculate, perfect cheek bones, late twenties...'

Anna didn't know who Gwen was describing, but it certainly wasn't John. She had to admit she quite liked the way his hair was always unkempt, it was one of her favourite things about him. But that was the club he worked at.

'No, the other one.'

'Oh Anna,' Gwen groaned. 'The old dude. Looks like he needs a shave more often than not.'

Gwen had never been a fan of stubble. But this description did sound more like John, and Anna felt like she needed to defend him.

'Firstly, he's only in his early forties and secondly, I like a man with the rough and ready look.'

'Obviously,' Gwen raised her eyebrows before a smile spread across her lips. 'So how does he know Princess Mary?'

'Gwen!' Anna threw a cushion in her direction, knocking her friends sideways a little before the same cushion was flying back in Anna's direction, hitting her wine glass clean off the coffee table. 'Nice job.'

'Ahh, it's only white wine,' Gwen replied indifferently. 'Answer my question.'

'He was in the army with Mary's Dad, they are best friends.'

'That's cute,' Gwen said before her gaze narrowed. 'Is it serious between the two of you?'

Anna considered Gwen's question for a moment. She and John had finally shared their first kiss, a moment that would live with Anna for the rest of her time on earth. Never had a kiss meant more, had such an effect on her. John made her feel so many things, sensations that were mot explainable by mere words. Had she ever been able to say that about any other man? The answer was a plain and simple no.

'I hope so,' Anna answered. 'I really do.'

'Well, I'm pleased for you sweetheart.' Gwen reached across the sofa and took hold of Anna's hand. 'After all you've been through, you deserve a man who is going to take care of you.'

'Thanks,' Anna whispered, her voice breaking slightly as the enormity of what Gwen said to her hit home. In that moment, she knew it was John whom she wanted to take care of her, for him to be that man. The one.

******************  
John clapped his hands together once, then twice. Looking to his left, he noticed a crowd walking towards him, laughing and joking, obviously enjoying the festivities very much. Hoping Anna might have been walking behind them, he was disappointed when they passed to leave the pavement behind them deserted. He wished they had arranged to meet at Wimbledon station then travelled back into central London together, but Anna had convinced him there was no point in him coming out of London to go back again, especially when he lived five minutes walk from the South Bank.

Chancing a look into the restaurant behind him, he noticed it was quite busy. John hated eating in busy restaurants, particularly with Anna. Wanting to know everything about her and knowing he still had a lot to learn, the hum of the other chatting diners often meant intimate conversation just wasn't possible. But, Anna loved this place and John didn't have the heart to deny her a meal in her favourite establishment. He didn't have the heart to deny her anything.

'There he is. My favourite guitar playing reindeer.'

He had never turned around so quickly in his life. That voice. Those soft northern tones. John would never get enough of them. He smiled as he took in her appearance, she looked gorgeous as usual. How could she look anything but? He noticed something different about Anna's hair, furrowing his brow as he approached her.

'You've changed your hair.'

Anna rolled her eyes and smirked, causing something to tug at his heart. 'I was trying out the curling irons that Gwen bought me for Christmas. What do you think?'

He could only reciprocate her smirk at hearing her asking what he thought about how she looked, lifting his hand to take a strand of the soft curls in his hand. 'I think I'd like to kiss you right this second. If that would be agreeable with you, Miss Smith?'

'It certainly would, Mr Bates.'

He loved the way she said his surname, her drawing out the syllable sweeter than any symphony or in John's case, guitar solo. Moving his hand to her cheek, John's breath caught at the sight of Anna closing her eyes, waiting for him to kiss her. He gently pulled her closer to him, suddenly aware of their surroundings he decided it was probably not best to kiss her in the same way he had done at the station. He placed a soft kiss on her lips, resting there for a few seconds before the need to deepen the kiss became too much and he diverted to her cheek. He lingered their for a few torturous moments then his breathing grew deeper upon hearing her soft gasps caressing his ear. If they had this effect on each other with a simple chaste kiss, heaven help them when they finally decided to take things further.

'No Mr Bates,' Anna's beautiful whisper broke the silence between them, yet they remained in the same position, John finding it almost physically impossible to move. 'That just won't do.'

Before he had a chance to come back down to earth, John found himself being dragged down the small alley beside the restaurant. The feeling of the brick wall hitting his back should have hurt, but the only thing he could feel were Anna's lips against his, soft yet so demanding. Her hands were running through the hair at the base of his neck, and it felt absolutely divine. John's own hands found Anna's hips. He ran his tongue lightly along her bottom lip and felt Anna's mouth open almost simultaneously. How had they managed to wait this long to share kisses like this? John was already acknowledging he needed to kiss Anna like this almost as much as he needed the air that he breathed. And this was only the second time.

'Is that better?' John breathed once Anna had pulled away. He could see her eyes were closed and it made him want to kiss her again and again. How could someone look just as beautiful with their eyes closed as they did when they were open?

'Much,' she managed to respond, her hands still grasping on to the skin where his hair met his neck. John never knew that part of his body affected him so much, that was until Anna touched him there. A few more moments passed until Anna spoke again, she seemingly having regained more of her senses now. 'You know, I don't fancy a sit down meal. I remember seeing the fish and chip kiosk a little way along was open today.'

'Fish and chips, are you sure?' John was confused, Anna had requested they visit this restaurant. They walked back down the alley towards the main path before John questioned her further, 'I thought you wanted to eat here.'

'I do like it here,' Anna agreed before wrapping her fingers around John's. 'But I much rather spend the evening walking by your side, holding your hand. And I'm not sure sitting down in a busy restaurant will give us much scope to do that.'

He couldn't help the smile that erupted on his face. 'Fish and chips sounds like a perfect idea.'

****************************  
The fish and chips had been a master stroke, even if Anna did say so herself. They ate their dinner on a bench just beside the OXO tower, laughing and joking as often they did when they were together. Although initially feeling bad at leaving Gwen for the evening, Anna couldn't continue feeling that way once in John's company. Gwen understood after all Anna had been through the past few years, she owed it herself to pursue this, something that felt so right and natural, something Anna thought at one point she would never feel again.

After finishing their dinner, they just walked. This time, further into central London. Over Westminster Bridge, towards Trafalgar Square and up into Leicester Square. Before they knew where they were, John was manoeuvring them onto Regents Street. Both decided it was much to busy to negotiate, particularly on Boxing Day so they made a mutual decision to head back to the South Bank, and the station. They were both thinking of those waiting for them at home, Anna supposed. She knew John had left his mother to come out tonight.

What Anna hadn't been expecting was to experience one of the most romantic moments of her life, in the shadow of the London Eye. As they passed a busker on the stretch opposite the Houses of Parliament, John stopped Anna. She looked up at him with a quizzical eye. He was smirking before nodding towards the busker. She looked, then properly listened to what he was playing. He wasn't singing. Just playing the melody. She realised what it was after a few moments when John's cultured ear had probably recognised it after a second.

'That's Weller, isn't it?'

John nodded, and then it happened. He stood back a few paces, away from the crowd passing by towards the wall, the Thames flowing by below. Then he held his hand out to Anna. She wasn't really sure what he was asking, until he voiced his intentions.

'May I have this dance?'

'Here?'

'What?' John shrugged before looking to the sky. 'The stars are out,' he pointed at the gentleman on his guitar, 'we have the music,' he narrowed his gaze on Anna, 'I have the beautiful girl. It is a perfect night for a dance, wouldn't you say?'

All Anna could manage to do was nod her agreement, the moment completely taking her breath away. John put a possessive hand on her hip, grasping her other hand in his. Then they were moving, slowly, gently. She found herself resting her head against John's shoulder. Then as if this moment couldn't be any more perfect, she heard the most beautiful sound her ears had ever been given the chance to hear. John was singing.

'_You do something to me, somewhere deep inside_...'

She couldn't help the shaky breath that escaped her. She also couldn't help the tear that trickled down her cheek. It was such a perfectly overwhelming moment and one which Anna never thought would happen for her. She was lost. She felt like time had stopped, the world had stilled. The only sound she could hear was the gentle ticking of her heart and the sound of John as he sang the lyrics to a song which Anna had never really acknowledged until that evening a few weeks ago.

Saying goodbye that night was the hardest yet. John was working every night until after new year because he had Christmas off, so the next time they would see each other would be after New Years Eve. That was until, under the clock at Waterloo, John struck upon the idea of Anna bringing her friends to the club. He got an hours break, Anna didn't need to be asked twice to spend it with him.

'Until New Years Eve,' John murmured after kissing Anna goodnight. 'Take care, Anna. And text me when you get home.'

'I will,' Anna promised, taking a couple of steps away, their hands almost entwined.

'Oh, I nearly forgot,' John announced, patting the breast of his jacket. Letting go of Anna's hand, John unzipped his jacket and reached inside to reveal a brown paper bag. He handed it to Anna. 'Merry Christmas.'

'Oh John,' Anna took the bag from him, 'I didn't know we were exchanging gifts.'

'Being with you this evening was gift enough,' John replied, Anna reaching up on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. He took hold of her hand again. 'Besides it isn't much and it's partly hand made. Now get going, or you'll miss your train.' Their gaze met, and John lifted Anna's hand to his lips, placing a kiss on her knuckles. 'Don't forget that text.'

Anna dodged her way through the crowds to her platform, once on the train relieved to see there were plenty of spare seats. After she had got herself comfortable, Anna set about revealing what was in the bag. Reaching inside it, she smiled as she revealed a stuffed Reindeer. Turning it around, it was all she could do not to howl with laughter as she saw John had attached a small guitar to the reindeer's hooves, making it look like he was playing the instrument. Anna stroked the top of the toys head, this was the first gift John had ever given her. Apart from the rose of course. She opened up her phone.

'_Thank you for my Reindeer, he's gorgeous_.'

Settling into her seat, still clutching on to the reindeer the sound of her message tone made Anna jump six feet in the air, she hadn't been expecting such a quick reply. Looking at her phone, she saw a message which simply read,

'_Like someone else I could mention. xxx_'


	9. Chapter 9

**A**/**N this chapter is a little longer as their relationship shifts a lot in this chapter. **

**Thanks for all the reviews and follows. :) **

**I still don't own Downton. **

* * *

Anna had never willed a week to pass by as quickly as she had done the previous one. Texts and phone calls simply weren't enough. Her Boxing Day evening with John had imprinted a thousand memories in her mind, yet they were small consolation to having him physically by her side, whispering to her in that tone that only John could.

But time apart had also given Anna time to contemplate how she was really feeling. Missing someone this much was something she had never experienced. Not even in her previous relationships. She looked into the future and it looked bleak without John in it. Letting someone this close to her again, it was unsettling but Anna wasn't sure she could do anything to prevent it. She was powerless.

Now here she was, only minutes from seeing him again and it seemed like her friends were taking ages to get ready. Daisy and Ethel were oblivious, yet Gwen knew the real reason as to Anna's anxiety. The other two had told her to relax, it was only nine o clock and clubs never got going until eleven, especially on New Years Eve.

Storming into Gwen's kitchen in a huff, Anna stood by the window and stared out into the darkness. It was like an illness, what she was feeling. Anna just couldn't stop thinking about him. She wasn't sure she wanted to.

'You know how long those two take to get ready so why are you so agitated?' Anna turned to see Gwen standing in the doorway, her arms folded and regarding Anna with a raised eyebrow. 'What's going on?

She didn't answer for a moment, because in truth she was scared to answer the question. Anna knew full well what was going on, and after everything, what she was coming to realise in her mind was too frightening to contemplate. But she was going to have to, she couldn't deny it. She met Gwen's gaze, her friend was looking at her expectantly, waiting for a response to her question.

'Oh Gwen,' Anna murmured, sitting down at the table before resting her head in her hands.

Gwen closed the kitchen door behind her and took a few steps towards the table. 'You're in deep, aren't you?'

'What makes you say that?' Anna didn't lift her head to address her friend, remaining in the same position at the table.

'Well, after he called on Christmas Day you said you hoped he was finally the one, the one to take care of you. That was a pretty big clue.'

'I'm scared, Gwen. I never expected to feel this strongly again, especially after...' Her voice drifted away, Gwen understanding exactly what Anna was referring to.

'Are you in love with him?'

'No,' Anna answered without missing a beat, although her voice was hardly convincing. Gwen's expression told Anna that her friend didn't exactly believe her. 'I don't know, maybe. All I know is I can't get him out of my head, it's like I'm obsessed. Whenever I'm not with him, I want to be with him. When we are together it is as if we are the only two people in existence. And to admit that out loud frightens me to death.'

'Does John know what happened?'

'Definitely not,' Anna replied, lifting her head to look at Gwen. 'Does he need to know?'

'Well yeah,' Gwen answered with a sympathetic smile on her face, reaching across the table to rest a hand on top of Anna's. 'Especially if you feel like this is going somewhere. It will affect some aspects of the relationship, no question.'

'I'm not sure I can relive it all again, though.'

The kitchen door burst open, Ethel and Daisy appearing and seemingly ready to finally leave the flat. They both noticed Anna's demeanour and both raced straight towards her.

'Are you alright, Anna?' Daisy asked, wrapping an arm around her friends shoulders.

'Are you really this upset we didn't get ready quicker?' Ethel asked with a furrowed brow.

'No Ethel, believe it or not not everything is about you,' Gwen pointed out, standing up. 'Let's just go and have a nice New Years Eve and take it one moment at time,' she deliberately focussed her gaze on Anna, 'shall we?'

Nodding her head, Anna squeezed Daisy's hand before standing up. One moment at a time.

******************************  
It really was busy tonight. John hated working New Years Eve, but at least he was on with Alfred and not Thomas, he supposed. People saw 'Sugar and Spice' as somewhere to end their night out, so most of the people passing by this evening were already heavily intoxicated. John didn't mind that, it was natural for people to let go on tonight of all nights. He found some of the revellers to be quite amusing, especially one chap who was trying so hard to impress a girl he wasn't looking where he was going, tripped and John had to catch him before he head butted the wall.

As the night drew on, John began to pay more attention to see if Anna was on her way. She had text to say they wouldn't be there much before eleven. The crowds trying to enter the club were thinning now, most people leaving to head over to Big Ben to see in the New Year. It was Alfred who spotted Anna and her group first.

'Here we go, Skipper.' That was Alfred's nickname for John, John still having no idea to this day why. 'Four very pleasant young ladies heading this way.'

John only had eyes for one of the young ladies, her blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight, her smile wide as she chatted to her friends. Then she turned to look in John's direction and suddenly all the hairs were standing up on the back of his neck. Anna looked breathtaking, John couldn't take his eyes off her as the girls moved closer to the club. God, how he had missed her.

'Evening ladies,' Alfred said cheerfully, or so John thought. He was only really paying attention to Anna.

'Hello,' she mouthed to him as Gwen, Ethel and Daisy chatted to Alfred.

'Hello,' he mouthed back before looking her up and down. She looked absolutely stunning. He met her gaze again and simply breathed, 'wow.'

'Have a good evening, ladies,' John said a little louder now as Alfred allowed them into the club.

Trying to garner Anna's attention as she followed her friends, John held out his hand in front of her, holding a small note which he had retrieved from his pocket. Anna grasped his hand out of sight of the others, taking the note from him. Their eyes met, and it took all the power John could summon not to kiss her there and then.

'See you later?' He whispered, smiling.

'Later,' Anna confirmed, reciprocating his smile. She carried on into the club, leaving John and Alfred alone once more.

'Now they were absolutely gorgeous,' Alfred exclaimed, looking over his shoulder as the girls disappeared into the club. 'A little too young for you though eh, skipper?'

'I wouldn't say that,' John replied, also looking over his shoulder. He could see Anna reading his note and quickly turned around again before she finished. He only hoped she would agree to his suggestion.

*****************************  
The club was heaving. Anna and her friends could barely find any space on the dance floor, let alone somewhere to sit. Ethel was a woman on a mission, however. She never went in a club without finding a table, and much to Anna's amazement she was now talking a group of five men dressed as gangsters into giving up their table for Ethel and her mates. Up the five men stood, and away they walked, leaving the table free.

'You legend,' Daisy exclaimed, offering Ethel a high five.

'Yeah, talking people who had the table fair and square into moving, nice job,' Gwen rolled her eyes. 'Anna and me will go and get some drinks, Vodka and Coke all round?'

Suddenly remembering the note in her hand, Anna followed a few steps behind her friend as she read what John had written.

'_Anna, I hope I am not being too forward in asking this, but would you come back to mine after the club? I'm not expecting anything to happen, please believe me. I just want to spend some time with you. I haven't seen you all week and I've missed you. John x '_

'What are you reading?'

Anna looked up to see she had Gwen's attention. 'It's a note from John.'

'Aww, that's so sweet,' Gwen smiled as they reached the bar. 'Saying...'

'He wants me to go back to his.'

'Wow, he's not backwards in coming forwards, is he?'

'We have been seeing each other properly for over a month,' Anna pointed out in John's defence, 'he's saying he doesn't expect anything, he just wants to spend some time with me. I know he wouldn't force me to do anything.'

'Too right he wouldn't, or he'd have me to answer to.' Anna smiled at her friend's words, knowing all too well that she meant them. 'It's up to you, chick but I think you should. You say you're scared about feeling this way but all I know is the past few days, watching you, it's obvious you're really taken with him.'

'What'll it be ladies?'

The barman had grabbed Gwen's attention as Anna thought about what she had just said. Going to John's flat would be a big step for them, but it was a step Anna would be willing to take. She trusted him, Anna knew John would never put her in a position where she would have to do something she didn't want to do. And spending some time alone with John after days apart was just what Anna needed. It was what she wanted.

'I said Anna, have you got a fiver?' The music had seemingly got louder with the change of track, and Gwen was now having to really shout to be heard above all the noise. Anna nodded, opening her bag and passing Gwen the money she required. 'By the way, I think your man is trying to get your attention.' Gwen was pointing towards the entrance to the club, Anna looking over to see John waving. 'Go and speak to him, but don't be too long. Me and you have a date with that dance floor.'

As Gwen headed back to the table with a tray of drinks, Anna made her way through the crowd to John who was standing in a small alcove just inside the club. He was beaming as she approached him, Anna unable to do anything but smile as well.

'I've only got a second,' he began, pulling her into the alcove with him. 'My break starts at ten to midnight. The boss is only letting us have twenty minutes because it's so busy but he's giving us double time after midnight so it's not all bad.'

'I've missed you,' Anna whispered, reaching out and straightening John's tie, the knot showing just above his coat.

He lifted his hand and stroked the side of her face softly with the backs of his fingers. Anna felt a shiver run down her spine, letting out a gasp at the contact. John's voice was laced with emotion as he spoke. 'I've missed you too. You'll spend my break with me, won't you?'

'Of course I will.'

'Your friends won't miss you?'

'Daisy and Ethel will probably be snogging the faces off of compete strangers by then, they'll be too far gone to notice I'm missing, and Gwen knows. She'll understand.'

'I'll meet you here and thank you.' John's fingers were wrapped around Anna's hand now, caressing and warming the skin there with every stroke. 'And what about after?' Anna hesitated before answering. 'I mean it when I say I expect nothing. I just want to be with you.'

She found herself nodding in the next moment. 'Alright, I'd love to.'

'See you later.'

He winked at her then, and for the briefest of seconds Anna forgot how to breathe. She stood motionless as he stepped out of the alcove, then gestured for her to go and rejoin her friends. Not knowing how she was putting one foot in front of the other after such a gesture from John, Anna soon found herself in the company of her friends once more. Before she had a chance to sit down however, Daisy was up out of her seat and dragging Anna to the middle of the dance floor. Her protests were unable to be heard as one of the group of friend's favourite songs began to fill the room. Once Daisy had chosen a suitable spot for them, Anna looked up, and was surprised to see John watching from the top of the stairs that lead to the floor, leaning on the railing. What surprised her even more was when John sang along with the first line to the song, his eyes focused solely on Anna as he sang.

_'Turn the lights off in this place, and she shines just like a star_...'

'He must know every song in existence,' Anna thought to herself, before feeling Daisy grab hold of her hand. When she looked back, John had gone. It couldn't be ten to midnight a moment too soon.

Taking Anna by the hand once she had reached the alcove, John lead her outside without a word. The street outside the club was almost deserted and Alfred had made his way to the bar to the ring in the new year with the staff there. He took Anna to a small walkway beside the venue which lead to the staff entrance. A flickering street lamp was the only illumination as John finally stopped and turned to regard Anna.

'Alone at last,' he murmured, still holding Anna's hand in his. He could make out her blush in the dim moonlight and it only set his heart racing quicker than it already was being in her company once again. 'Have you had a nice evening?'

'Well, Gwen has been bickering with Ethel, still holding a grudge because Ethel sat on and bent her nail file.' John laughed as he saw Anna roll her eyes, able to see her blue irises sparkling in the soft light. He loved how her eyes were so full of life, able to convey whatever she was feeling at any given moment. 'And Daisy has been moaning about work and has promised if she isn't an assistant head chef by Easter, she's leaving the food industry and pursuing her dream of becoming an actress. Or a make up artist. Or whatever she wants to be depending on what day of the week it is.'

'They all sound like characters,' John remarked, looking down to where his and Anna's fingers were still entwined. The way their hands fit together made him more convinced by the day they were made for each other. 'Do they know about us?'

'Gwen does, I said that earlier,' Anna replied, following John's line of vision. Knowing she was looking too, he squeezed her hand a little tighter, delighting in the little smile it elicited upon her lips. 'But I haven't told Daisy and Ethel yet. They'd interfere worse than Mary does.' He chuckled at that, but evidently hadn't expected what she said next, looking up to meet her gaze. 'Is there an us, then?'

Had he jumped the gun? The last thing John wanted to do was scare Anna or say the wrong thing, but from his perspective they had been dating for a few weeks now, and as far as he was concerned, they were well on there way to becoming a couple. He suddenly felt panicked.

'Well, err,' he stuttered, suddenly finding Anna's shoes very interesting as he looked to the ground. 'I just thought...'

'John, it's alright.' She rested a finger from the hand that wasn't holding his under his chin, and lifted his head so she could look at him. He met her gaze reluctantly. 'We just haven't spoken about where we are, in terms of our relationship yet.'

'Well, I'd like to be able to introduce you to people as my girlfriend.' _Bloody hell_, he thought to himself as the words left his mouth. _I've gone for that._ He backtracked. 'If that's alright with you.' It seemed to take hours for Anna to display her reaction, let alone respond to what John had just said. When her lips upturned into a smile, relief flowed through his veins.

'That's alright with me,' Anna nodded, moving her hand from his chin to rest on John's cheek. 'More than alright.'

Just as he was about to lean in for a kiss, the loud sound of someone inside talking on the microphone reminded John of what he had in his pocket. Letting go of Anna's hand, he put his hand inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a sprig of mistletoe. Anna laughed upon seeing it, John moving it so he held it above them.

'I never did get my kiss under the mistletoe,' he said with a raise of his eyebrows.

'Get ready to countdown.'

There was the voice inside again, making John jump. 'Bloody hell, I'm not sure Colin needs a microphone, he talks so loudly anyway.'

The owner of the club was now leading the countdown inside, which could be heard loud and clear by John and Anna standing outside. He was still holding the mistletoe above them, but now his free hand had found its resting place upon Anna's hip. Her arms were wrapped around John's shoulders, bringing them so their lips were only a couple of inches apart. Colin's muffled voice could be heard again.

'Here we go everybody... Ten...'

'Nine,' John continued, his eyes locked on Anna's as she gasped the next number. They seemed to make an unsaid agreement to alternate the countdown to one.

'Eight.'

'Seven,' John carried on, surprised he could actually process what number was next with Anna is such close proximity, staring at him with a perfect darkness in her gaze.

'Six,' she said next.

'Five.'

'Four.'

'Three.' His arm was really aching from holding he mistletoe above them, now.

'Two.'

'One.'

'Happy New Year, John.' He could hear her whisper perfectly over all the cheering emanating from inside, everything else seemingly evaporating the more John became lost in Anna's eyes.

'Happy New Year, Anna.'

Their lips came crashing together almost as soon as the last syllable of her name had left him. He couldn't concentrate on keeping the mistletoe above them, not with the manner in which Anna was kissing him right now. She must have read his mind, one of her own arms leaving his shoulder to reach up and pull his hand down from its position above them to rest on her other hip. The passion rushing through him resulted in John gently pushing Anna against the wall behind them, a week of pent up emotion being released as their kiss deepened. She pulled away all too soon, John not wanting to lose contact straight away and brushing her lips lightly once, then twice before letting her pull away completely.

'That was amazing,' she breathed with just the right lilt to her tone, her hands finding that sensitive spot on John's neck he was never aware he had until Anna had discovered it. 'My boyfriend.'

They both giggled at that, John resting his head on Anna's shoulder for a moment. A thought came into his mind, something he had wanted to say to her, the moment to say it never seeming as perfect as it did now. He moved his head so he could whisper in her ear, his hands still clutching on to her waist as he spoke.

'This will be your year, Anna. From this moment, your happiness will be the most important thing to me. I mean it.'

The next thing he felt was a kiss on his cheek, before her hand turned his head so she could kiss him fully. It wasn't as passionate as the one they had shared only seconds previously, but it was enough to convince John for the first time that for some reason, this flawless woman might just feel the same way as he did.

'I should be getting back to my friends.' Anna's words were like a dagger to John's heart, but he knew she was right. He'd be required on the door again in a few minutes. How he could go back to work after sharing something like this with Anna was beyond him.

'Of course,' he agreed weakly, releasing his hold on her. 'I won't be finished until half one. I'll meet you at the entrance then?'

'Daisy and Ethel will probably want to move on by then but I'll make an excuse to stay.'

'Alright, as long as you are sure it isn't too much trouble.'

She shook her head. 'Nothing's too much trouble for you.'

John couldn't help but grin at her words. He took her hand and lead her back down the pathway. Stopping just short of the pavement, he looked to make sure the coast was clear before stepping aside and allowing Anna to walk on ahead. She looked back over her shoulder at him, offering him a little wave before she was gone again.

_Wow_, John thought to himself. _Did that really just happen_?

**************************************  
John's flat was only a five minute walk from the club. Once at his building, it wasn't what Anna had been expecting at all. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting really. It overlooked the river, each individual apartment seeming to have a balcony. It looked expensive. Anna had remembered John mentioning his army pension in the past, and that he had got quite a substantial amount of money when he and his ex wife sold their marital home. But she never believed it was this much.

He lived on the fifth floor, number thirty five. John seemed nervous as he unlocked the door. This was the first time either of them had seen the inside of the other's home. She wouldn't admit it to John, but she was intrigued to see how he lived, a Batchelor on his own. After opening the door, he offered Anna his hand which she gratefully took. Stepping inside, everything was bathed in darkness until John flicked a switch by the door. Anna couldn't stop her jaw from dropping, the place was immaculate.

The kitchen and living room were open plan, on two levels. The kitchen, to her right seemed to have all the mod cons. Granite work tops, a breakfast bar and was very clean, she noted. It had laminate flooring as well, adding to its classy appearance. One step lead down to the carpeted living area. There was a grey corner sofa which was was huge and made the armchair beside it look tiny. Looking around, Anna smiled as she saw music memorabilia adorn the walls, in particular John Lennon who Anna had come to learn was John's idol. She saw his guitar on its stand beside the armchair, there was even a jukebox in the corner of the room. Anna's eyes were drawn to the grand piano that sat by the glass doors that lead to a balcony. John had never mentioned he could play any other instruments before.

'This is the bathroom, ' John said, knocking on a door behind Anna she hadn't even realised was there. He moved to take her coat from her, Anna letting it fall from her arms. 'What do you think of the place?'

'It's incredible,' she gasped before pointing at the piano, 'can you play that?'

'No, I just eat my dinner off it,' John teased with a wink, putting his hands in his pockets before walking to the kitchen. 'I prefer the guitar these days but yes, I can play it. Can I get you anything?'

'No thanks.' Anna was transfixed by everything she was seeing. It was John's space and it amazed her, learning new things about this wonderful man she had met everywhere her eyes darted. 'Can you play any other instruments?'

Not answering her question with words, John walked beyond Anna to the opposite side of the apartment, opening one of two doors. He gestured for Anna to approach him before turning the light on. She looked inside to see a mixing desk, a microphone, the style of which you would find in a recording studio and a drum kit.

'I can play the drums a bit,' he shrugged. 'My Dad was into music big time. He used to work all the clubs back home in Ireland through the fifties and sixties. He even met and worked with The Beatles before they went stratospheric. He taught me.'

'I never knew any of that,' Anna murmured before meeting his gaze. He was regarding her with a smirk, that smirk that made her feel like her knees would buckle from beneath her. 'I love learning new things about you.'

'And I you.' His tone of voice was positively mischievous as he switched off the light and shut the door. She turned her attentions towards the next door along, averting herself from his intense gaze which was threatening to overwhelm her. 'That's my room.'

'Oh,' Anna said, removing her hand from the door handle. Not yet, she thought to herself, turning around to look at him. He still had his hands in his pockets, he had undone his top button and his tie a little. He was still smirking. God, he really was gorgeous.

'Shall we sit?' He suggested, pointing towards the sofa. Anna nodded, slipping off her shoes before stepping from the laminate flooring to the carpet, increasing the height advantage John had over her once more. He had taken his shoes off by the door, she noticed and thought she should do the same. Somewhere between coming in and reaching this point John had dimmed the lights.

'I have to ask, John...'

'You can ask me anything,' he interrupted her, taking a strand of her hair between his thumb and forefinger as they faced each other, leant against the back of the sofa.

'How do you afford a place like this on a busker and bouncers wage?' Anna hoped she wasn't being too cheeky. 'It's beautiful.'

'I've told you about the divorce,' John replied before adding, 'our home sold for half a million. Robert owned a string of properties at the time, he gave me a discount on this place for paying in cash, and well, we'd been through a lot together you know.'

'I can't even begin to imagine,' Anna offered weakly, maintaining eye contact with him. Something in the atmosphere around them had changed. Anna could feel it, especially when John moved a little closer to her.

'You know,' he narrowed his gaze on her. His voice held a flirtatious element to it, one which resulted in Anna feeling long forgotten stirrings at the pit of her stomach. 'This is the first time I have had a girl as beautiful as you back here.'

'I'm not sure that's true.'

He didn't respond to her remark with words, instead choosing to edge just a little closer to her. 'Can I kiss you?'

Anna couldn't explain what was happening to her body as his breath brushed her cheek, all she knew was that she felt like she would die if he didn't. She nodded her consent, and there was the gentle caress of John's lips against hers, the sensation that Anna was coming to realise was her lifeline. It started off innocently enough, but she supposed it was because of their surroundings, it didn't stay that way for long. Anna was in heaven, allowing John to gently push her back against the arm of the sofa. The feel of the weight of his upper body upon hers was delicious. Anna was clutching on to his upper arm as the kiss became more passionate, he felt so firm beneath her fingertips. Just as she was relaxing into the moment, Anna became increasingly aware of where John's hand was heading. It was moving downward from her hip, edging ever closer to the bare skin of her thigh. And suddenly, memories that she thought she had under control were rushing to the surface of her mind. She tried to banish them, tried to tell herself that this was John, she was safe, but in the end, they got the better of her.

'No,' her squeal was muffled as she broke away from the kiss that they were sharing. 'Please let me go.'

'Anna.' John's voice was filled with concern as he relinquished his hold on her immediately. She shot up, moving away from the sofa and up the step towards the balcony doors. She tried to keep the sob that was threatening to escape her under control, but she couldn't. Bringing her hand to her forehead, she clutched her stomach. All she could see was Him. His face. And she felt sick. 'Oh God, I went too far. When I promised I wouldn't.'

'It isn't you,' Anna replied, too vigorously than she would have liked as she turned around. John looked hurt, his expression killing Anna a little inside. She had to reassure him. 'John, it's not you.'

'What's going on, Anna?'

His voice was filled with concern, she hated to make him feel this way. Allowing another sob to leave her, she wasn't going to tell John everything. She knew that. But she needed to tell him something.

'I haven't been with...' She hesitated, moving both her hands to clutch her stomach. 'This is the first time...'

She really didn't know what to say. John slowly rose from his position on the sofa and carefully trod the floor towards her. He held his arms out for her, and Anna gratefully fell into them, breaking down fully once in his embrace.

'Sssh,' he whispered, kissing the top of her head. 'It's alright.'

'I have a past, John.' Anna had controlled her emotions to the point that she could talk again. 'But I can't tell you about it, not yet.'

'It's alright,' John reiterated, pressing her head closer to him. 'You don't have to tell me anything. But I am here to listen, I'm not going anywhere, Anna. I'm here for you.'

They stood in silence for a few moments, John gently rocking Anna in his arms. She had never felt as safe as she did now. He knew there was something now, something she was obviously still trying to deal with.

'Do you want to go home? You don't have to.'

'No.' Anna was sure about that. She wanted to stay with John. It had been awful without him. 'I want to be with you. I'm just not ready for that yet.'

'I understand.'

He released her and walked towards his room. Anna wondered what he was doing until he reappeared with one of his shirts and a towel. 'Why don't you have a shower?'

'That sounds good,' Anna nodded, rubbing her cheeks which were soaked with her tears. 'Clear my head.' She gratefully took the items from him as John continued to wipe her damp cheeks. She watched as John walked into the kitchen. A suggestion popped up in Anna's mind. 'Perhaps we could share a drink when I return, to toast in the new year?'

'Strictly tea and coffee in here I'm afraid,' John replied, clinking the box of tea bags and jar of coffee together. She furrowed her brow before John added with a grin, 'you see, Anna. I have a past too. We have a lot to learn about each other, it would seem.'

Anna allowed a small smile to pass across her lips. 'We do.'

************************  
Christ. For a few earth shattering seconds John thought he had blown it. When Anna rose to her feet, and wouldn't look at him, he thought that was it. He had never been so frightened in all his life. To lose Anna, even after this short time together, it would be nothing short of catastrophic. Life would hold no meaning, he felt that strongly.

Deep down, John knew Anna was harbouring some sort of secret. He had no right to ask her to reveal it, but now it was obvious he would need to know if their relationship was to develop. However, all that mattered to John now was that Anna knew he expected nothing. That side of the relationship wasn't important right now. All that mattered was where they went from here and that wherever they went was together.

The sound of the bathroom door unlocking was almost deafening. John turned his head to regard Anna. His eyes were riveted to her. He couldn't help it. His shirt stopped half way down her thighs. She looked exquisite. Banishing those thoughts from his mind, he rose from the sofa. He took off his tie as she crossed the room, still rubbing her wet hair with the towel.

'Feeling better?'

'Much,' Anna replied. 'And I'm sorry, John. I thought I was ready for that, but obviously...'

'You don't have to explain, Anna. It's really okay.'

'Yeah, well,' Anna shrugged. 'I don't want this to change anything between us. I want us to carry on in the way in which we have been.'

'And we shall do,' John said softly. He held her gaze for a moment before clearing his throat, looking over his shoulder. 'I was thinking, you can take my bed tonight. I'll sleep in my armchair.'

'Why the chair?' Anna asked. John had wondered if she would ask that or not.

'The sofa gives me a bad back. It came with the flat.'

Anna seemed to accept his explanation. 'Can I not join you in the chair?'

He was confused, looking at her from underneath a creased brow. 'But I thought...'

'I'm not ready to sleep with you, I'm not ready to be that intimate but all I know is I just want to spend the night in your arms. Please.'

John meant it, he couldn't deny this woman anything. Looking behind him at the sofa, he grabbed the throw from the back of it and sat down. He invited Anna to join him. She sat on his lap, swinging her legs around to rest over the edge of the armchair. Once she was settled, John pulled the throw over them before wrapping his arms around Anna, making sure they were above the throw. She rested her head on his shoulder.

'Alright?' He whispered.

'More than alright.'

John remembered it wasn't for the first time that evening those words had left her lips and allowing himself to smile at the memory of asking if he could refer to her as his girlfriend. Whatever John had been expecting Anna to say next, what she actually said wasn't it. It knocked the breath right out of him.

'I know it's not ladylike to say it, but I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be,' she whispered against his neck. 'I think I am falling in love with you.'

Bloody hell. Had sweeter words ever been spoken? However, John was more certain in his own feelings. He had been for a little while. He had just been waiting for Anna to give him a sign, some indication that she might be in the same place as him.

'Anna, I'll be honest. I've already fallen,' he felt her shift in his arms at hearing his words. His tone turned slightly more jovial, his arms tightening around her as he kissed her head. 'Why don't you join me down here? It feels wonderful.'

She was giggling. 'I'm almost there. Be patient with me.'

'Anna, I have all the time in the world for you.'

Silence fell then. They had taken a massive step that evening. Both were now certain in their feelings for the other, where they were in their relationship. John now knew something about Anna's past and in turn, had promised himself he would support her in dealing with her fears. What mattered to him the most was that she was comfortable in his company, and the gentle snores leaving her now went some way to letting him know that she was.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N A shorter chapter here, wanting to update as haven't done for a couple of weeks. Hope you enjoy. **

**Just in response to a review, allow me to get practical for just a moment. Even though he has an amazing flat, John would still need to work due to bills, etc etc. Council tax, water, electric, food shopping, the list goes on. Not sure an army pension would cover this although I will research. Plus he's not one to sit on his behind at home all day, but that might just be me. The reason he's a bouncer? I don't know. I just plucked that occupation out of the air.**

**Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. **

**Disclaimer-** _John and Anna still don't belong to me. Sadly._

* * *

John placed the headphones down on the mixing desk, in the next millisecond he registered the sound of his doorbell. Putting down the sheet of lyrics he was reading, he walked out of the spare room, or studio, at his flat and made his way towards the front door.

'Hello John,' Robert said, walking in without an invitation. He noticed the door to John's studio was open. He began to walk towards the open door. 'Ooh, having a play are we?'

'Don't touch anything,' John called after Robert as he disappeared inside the room. It was too late, in the next moment John heard music fill the air, his version of Amazed by Lonestar to be exact. Running a hand from his brow to through his hair, he appeared looking rather sheepish in the doorway. He looked to see Robert grimacing.

'This is a bit sickly sweet for you, no?'

John shrugged in response. 'A beautiful woman will do that to a man.'

'What are you doing?'

'Making a gift.'

'For Anna?'

John continued on into the room, stopping the music with a click of a switch on the mixing desk. 'Maybe.'

Robert nodded in acknowledgement before looking to the corner of the room. 'Can I have a go on the drum kit?'

'No.'

'Oh please.'

'No Rob.'

'You never let me have a go.' Robert folded his arms.

'Out,' John pointed over his shoulder with his thumb towards the door.

Sulkily, Robert rose to his feet and trudged out of the room, John following after switching off the light and shutting his door to the studio. Robert sunk down in the armchair before John cleared his throat. Exhaling a deep breath, Robert took John's coughing to indicate he wanted him to get out of his chair and slumped himself down on the edge of the sofa. They had been such good friends, best friends, for so long they both knew each other better than they knew themselves.

'Tea?' John asked, striding into the kitchen area and switching on the kettle. Robert made an agreeable noise, John recognising it to be a yes.

'So why are you making Anna a CD?'

'I never confirmed it was for Anna,' John replied, taking two mugs out of the cupboard.

'You said a beautiful woman would do things to man,' Robert countered, looking up to meet John's gaze. 'Unless you are doing the dirty on her, and if you are more fool you. She's gorgeous.'

'Of course I'm not doing the dirty on her, I'm not an idiot.' John noticed Robert's eyebrow raise, 'well not that much of one, anyway. The CD is my valentines gift to her. It was Mary's idea.'

'But Valentines day is in February,' Robert said as he brushed down one of the cushions on the sofa.

'It is February, Rob,' John informed his friend. 'Valentines day is a few days away.'

Robert looked at his watch, before unlocking his phone and reading the date. 'What do you know, it is February.'

John began to chuckle to himself. 'You are something else, mate. Can I presume Cora can be expecting the usual bunch of the petrol station's finest?'

'If she's lucky,' Robert shrugged. 'Anyhow, I thought you spent Valentines day with your Mum? If memory serves that was one of the things that most irritated Vera. Mind you, that woman could find something to irritate her in an empty room.'

'Anna understands. In fact, we are all going out for dinner together.'

John's father had proposed to his mother on Valentines Day, and they had got married on the same day the following year. Since his father had passed, this time of year, in particular that day, had been difficult for John's mother so every year since he had taken his mother out for dinner on that evening. Vera never understood John's reasoning although John had promised to take her out the next evening every year. It was just something he had to do for his mother. They had divorced two years after his father's death, so it was never an issue for long.

'That's a big step, meeting the mother wouldn't you say?'

'Perhaps. But as far as I can see, Anna's in my future. If not now, when?'

Since New Years Eve, John and Anna's relationship had moved up a notch. They saw each other as often as their work allowed, even staying over at each other's homes on occasion. John was coming to realise there was no better feeling in this world than holding a sleeping Anna in his arms. The intimate side of their relationship, or lack of it as the case may be, was never a factor. John meant it when he said he would wait forever for Anna, if that was what it would take. She had revealed small details about her past, John knew she had been in a violent relationship. The thought of a man treating Anna in that way caused John to feel unimaginable anger. How such a precious, beautiful woman could be subject to such abuse at the hands of a man, John just couldn't fathom it.

'Well, I'm pleased for you, mate.' Robert said as he took his tea from John before his friend took his seat in the armchair. 'It's nice to see you happy, after everything.'

'I just don't know how I struck it so lucky,' John shook his head as he spoke, lifting his mug to his lips and taking a sip. 'We saw each other every morning, I thank the Lord every day she came to the club, or I think we'd still be just commuter and busker now.'

'These things happen for a reason. We know that more than most.'

'Hmm,' John hummed his agreement, both men thinking of the same incident from their pasts in that moment. Not only did John still have a lot to learn about Anna, the same could be said for her about him.

* * *

The tube ride over to John's mother's had been in relative silence. Gentle squeezes of Anna's hand from John had resulted in eye contact and nervous smiles exchanged, but other than that it had been quiet between the pair. John knew Anna was anxious, he longed to convince her she had nothing to worry about.

As they stepped onto the street from Chalk Farm station, John pointed out the famous Roundhouse theatre, before leading Anna towards his mother's home. After promising her a trip to London Zoo in the not too distant future, they reached his mother's garden gate. Anna stopped dead, looking up for John's gaze who had also stopped to look back over his shoulder at her.

'It will be fine,' John whispered, letting go of Anna's hand and pulling her into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head, John could feel her relaxing in his arms. 'She's going to love you.'

'Is what I'm wearing okay?' Anna's voice was muffled, her question making him laugh.

'You look gorgeous, as usual.'

'Are you two coming in or not?'

John looked up to see his mother standing in the doorway, hands on her hips. She turned away and made her way back into the house. John nodded in the direction of the door, releasing Anna from his hold. Offering his hand, Anna took it before John lead her down the path. They walked inside, John instantly hearing the kettle boiling. Shutting the door behind them, John admitted to himself he was feeling a little nervous too. He was realising more and more with each moment that passed that it mattered so much to him that his mother and Anna got along, that this was the first time he actually cared that she liked a woman he bought home.

'So you must be Anna.' His mother was walking towards them now, wiping her hand furiously on a tea towel before holding it out for Anna to shake. 'My dear boy has told me so much about you. Never been so excited about a lass in his life.'

'Mum,' John groaned, resting a hand on the small of Anna's back. 'Anna, this is my Mum, Helen Bates. Mum, this is Anna.'

'Nice to meet you, Mrs Bates.'

'Please, it's Helen,' she insisted, shaking Anna's handanyone call me that a day in my life and I'm not about to start now. Do you take sugar, Anna?'

Sitting at the table with Anna, John could feel his heart almost burst as he watched Anna and his mother share a conversation. Anna was her usual charming self, his mother listening attentively as Anna answered the questions every mother would like to ask the woman who had seemingly stolen their son's heart.

'Now, where are we going for dinner?' John asked as all three finished their drinks.

'I'm going nowhere,' Helen said, picking up the three empty mugs on the table before walking over to the sink.

'Mum?' John questioned, furrowing his brow.

'You think I'll sit there like a gooseberry at a restaurant on the most romantic night of the year? Go and have a nice time, the two of you.' Helen placed a hand on John's shoulder, offering him a knowing look. 'Don't worry about me son, I'll be fine. I have a date of my own, with Captain Von Trapp and the DVD player.' Helen placed a hand on her chest then looked at Anna. 'I have a bit of a cough anyway. You don't want me spluttering through your meal.'

'You haven't coughed once all the time we've been here,' John said through a narrowed gaze.

'Just get going. And bring Anna along for Sunday lunch, son,' Helen covered Anna's hand with her own, 'if that's alright with you, dear.'

'I'd love to,' Anna replied sweetly. 'Can I just use the bathroom?'

'Of course, dear,' Helen pointed towards the door. 'Up the stairs, first on the left.'

Once Anna was out of ear shot, John couldn't resist asking his mother about Anna. 'Well, what do you think?'

'I think you could have had a shave,' Helen answered, pinching his cheek between her thumb and index finger.

'Mum,' John groaned. 'What do you think about Anna?'

'I think she's wonderful,' Helen replied before her tone turned slightly jovial, 'why the heck is she with you?'

'Ha ha,' John sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. He met his mother's gaze. 'You like her then?'

Helen nodded. 'I do. Treat her right, John. She could be amazing for you.'

* * *

God, what was it about this man? Anna found herself becoming more addicted to him with each passing second. He had a way with words, a way of looking at Anna that made her struggle to catch her breath. When he held her hand, it set her heart beating a quicker rhythm, she melted under his touch. Anna never wanted these sensations to end.

After leaving his mother's, they headed back into central London, the West End to be exact. Choosing a little bistro in Leicester Square to eat in, they shared a beautiful meal whilst chatting about disastrous Valentines dates of the past. John admitted Anna won when on one date the guy forgot her name and she had been known as around seven different monikers before they had even reached the restaurant. Then at the following ice skating portion of the date Anna fell and broke her wrist.

John had talked Anna into going back to his flat. He was quite insistent, Anna not having the heart to decline even though she had an early start at work the next morning. Still, she had some clothes stored at his flat now, and it meant she could have a lie in already being a ten minute walk away from the fashion house, rather than the half an hour train journey she usually was.

'I'm shattered,' Anna sighed, throwing her bag on John's armchair then proceeding to sit down on the sofa. John took off his jacket as he continued into the room without speaking, moving to the rather large stereo in the corner of the room.

'I've made you a gift,' he revealed, Anna smiling upon hearing those words. This was soon overtaken by a feeling of guilt. She and John had agreed upon not exchanging gifts, a meal together would be enough.

'But I haven't got you anything,' Anna's tone was regretful as she watched John fiddle with one of the dials on the music system.

'I know, we agreed not to. Being with you is enough for me, but I wanted to do something for you.'

He turned around to face her, and in that moment Anna had never felt such emotions as those rushing through her body. He was smirking, _that_ smirk. Music filled the air, Anna's attention grabbed by the speakers in each corner of the room. She recognised the tune, but the vocals threw her for the briefest of seconds, before she realised who was singing.

_'You do something to me, something deep inside...' _

It was the Weller song. Their song. And it was John's wonderful voice that was overtaking Anna's senses.

'I don't know what to say,' Anna whispered, bringing a shaking hand to cover her mouth. No man had ever done anything like this for her.

'May I have this dance?' John asked, Anna accepting his invitation in a heartbeat.

She fell into his arms, resting her head against his chest as they moved together in time to the music. It was moments like these that Anna realised this man was perfect for her. They seemed to move in perfect sync, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be in John's embrace. She lost track of time as they continued to dance, John's velvety tones filling the air and in turn making her feelings grow deeper for him with each song that passed. He was singing all of her favourites, and knowing he was singing every note for her did things to Anna she couldn't explain. _All Of Me, Amazed, _even an Ed Sheeran track but it was when she heard him sing _Wicked Game_, Anna's favourite song, that she knew.

He had sung it once before for her, the morning after he had serenaded everyone at Mary's and Matthew's birthday party. He had inadvertently made her cry that morning, never knowing why. And he was making her cry again. There was something about this song that touched her, reminding her of a time when she felt invincible, before life robbed her of all of her innocence. Now, hearing John sing every word of this song as if his life depended on it, Anna had to tell him how she was feeling.

'Are you alright?' John whispered, resting his cheek against her temple.

'I love you,' she murmured. There. She had said it and God knew she had never meant those three words more in her life.

'You do?' John pulled away from her, searching for her gaze. 'Anna, please tell me you mean it.'

Anna nodded. 'I do. I love you.'

Before Anna could release another breath his lips were upon hers, his hands resting gently on the side of her face. She could feel herself succumbing to his advances, allowing him to bring her gently down to the sofa. He wasn't forcing himself upon her, far from it. Anna knew he was just reacting to hearing the words he had been waiting for, she finally feeling now was the right time to tell him how she felt.

'I love you too,' John gasped, Anna's smile at hearing him reciprocate her words causing John to chuckle a little. 'If you hadn't guessed.'

The CD was finishing now, their murmurings the only sound in the room. Both were reclined on the sofa facing each other, their hands entwined. They seemed content

to simply stare at the other. It was after a few minutes than Anna broke the silence, something she had been meaning to ask John coming to the forefront of her mind.

'You know, now I've met your mother, I think it's time you returned the favour.'

'Right,' John's tone was sceptical. 'Okay. When?'

'Well, they all live in Yorkshire.'

'They?'

'Yes,' Anna nodded, 'they. My mum, dad, Jane my sister and Phillip my brother. Plus their partners. And my niece and nephew.'

'Bloody hell, that's a lot of Smith's to meet right there.'

'It's Aunty Hattie's seventieth birthday party a week Saturday,' Anna explained, unable to resist brushing a lock of hair that had fallen on John's forehead back into place. 'And I'd like you to be my plus one. What do you say?'

'I say anyone lucky enough to be your plus one must be the luckiest person in the world.' John brushed the back of his knuckles against Anna's cheek. 'I'd love to come.'


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- You may have noticed the rating of the story has changed with this chapter. I felt it was time to move things along a little. I have never written this kind of thing before and it probably shows but I tried. There is also a little violence as someone makes a reappearance.**

**Thanks for all your reviews, they mean a lot. You guys are amazing. **

**Disclaimer**\- Same as chapters 1-10...

* * *

Finally leaving the motorway, John released a sigh. He hated driving, but the train would have meant his and Anna's time wouldn't have been their own when in the north. After asking Robert for the loan of his BMW, John had offered to drive himself and Anna to Yorkshire. Although Anna could drive as well, neither owned a car so Robert was only too happy to allow his best friend to use his vehicle.

They had left London early morning, the car boot filled to the brim with enough luggage to last Anna a week, let alone the weekend. John managed to pack all he would need in a small holdall, as well as his guitar. He had never understood why women needed to take so much with them, but he daren't question Anna. She had even uttered the words, 'I don't think I've got everything I need,' John begging to differ as she placed her fourth piece of luggage on the back seat. They were staying at a hotel near Anna's family home, but had planned to go straight to the house to meet Anna's parents.

'You need to follow this road for a couple of miles,' Anna explained as they reached the roundabout at the top of the slip road. John nodded. He turned his head to smile at Anna as they waited at the traffic lights. 'Are you alright?'

'Looking forward to seeing the family,' Anna replied, John wasn't feeling nearly so excited at the prospect.

He had never met his ex wife's family until they had been married a year. It wasn't important to John that they liked him, he couldn't care less. However, he wanted nothing more than for Anna's family to like him. For the first time the age gap worried him. How would Anna's relatives feel about her dating a man over ten years her senior?

'What are you thinking about?' Anna asked as the lights turned green. John half turned his gaze before concentrating on the road ahead. She could read him like a book, already. 'Are you nervous?'

'A little,' A chuckle elicited from John as he admitted he felt anxious.

'You're quite the brooder, Mr Bates,' Anna observed as he pulled up to yet more traffic lights. A smile spread across his lips now, John turning his head to look at her again. 'Please don't worry, my family are going to love you. You make me happy, that's all that will matter to them.'

'Do I make you happy?' The lights had turned green, John putting the car in motion as he waited for Anna to answer his question. He hadn't expected her to put her hand on top of his on the gear stick, the sensation of her hand on his warming the skin instantly. A feeling he was becoming increasingly addicted to.

'Yes. More than I can ever remember being.' God, how he wanted to meet her gaze right then, but being in control of Robert's pride and joy rendered that notion a bad idea. He instead opted for taking Anna's hand in his, lifting it to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

'Right at the next roundabout,' Anna said, keeping hold of his hand as he brought it down to his lap. 'Then their house is a little way down on the left.'

John cleared his throat, reluctantly letting go of Anna's hand to change gear. He felt his nerves coming to fore once again as he followed his girlfriend's directions. Releasing a shaky breath, he pulled over as Anna indicated with a point of her finger where her childhood home was situated.

'Here we are,' Anna undid her belt as John switched off the engine. His eyes were on the house, it was much grander than John was expecting, although he would never voice that to Anna. Looking back to the woman at his side, he couldn't help but reciprocate her beautiful smile, despite his nerves. 'Please, don't be nervous. You are the man I love and my family are going to love you too. Just be yourself.'

'I haven't done this in years, meeting the parents of my girlfriend. I didn't even meet my ex wife's family until we were married.'

'Well, no time like the present.'

In the next moment, Anna was swinging her door open, John doing the same before stepping out of the car. After closing the door, he stretched his back and his long limbs, being cramped in a car for hours not beneficial to his six foot frame. In his peripheral vision, he could see Anna approaching his side, he holding an arm out to wrap her in his embrace.

'We'll stay for a couple of hours, then you can buy me dinner at the hotel.'

'Oh, can I now?' John replied, looking down at Anna with a raised eyebrow.

'Come on.'

Anna took hold of John's hand and lead him onto her parents driveway. This was it. Showtime. They reached the front door, Anna reaching to press the doorbell. She looked up at John, he meeting her gaze.

'I love you,' she mouthed, squeezing his hand once more.

'I love you too,' he whispered back, offering her the slightest hint of a smile.

His heart was thundering so much John was unsure as to how it didn't beat right out of his chest. The door opened, and before John knew where he was Anna was lost in the embrace of a woman John assumed to be Anna's mother. She had blonde hair like Anna's John observed, and was the same height as her daughter.

'I've missed you, darling,' the woman exclaimed, stepping back to take in the sight of Anna. 'You look wonderful.'

'If I do, it's all down to the man beside me,' Anna replied, John touched by her kind words for a split second before making eye contact with her mother. 'Mum, this is John. John, I'd like you to meet my mother, Harriet.'

'Nice to meet you, Harriet.'

John offered the woman his hand, taken aback as to how alike Anna was to her. Harriet took John's hand, shaking it softly. She was grinning, but John could tell she was giving him the once over. He kept smiling, waiting for her to say something. Anything.

'Hello John. Anna's told me a lot about you.'

'Really?' John chanced a glance at the younger Smith woman.

'It's all been rather favourable,' Harriet continued, stepping aside to allow John and Anna to cross the threshold. 'Take him through to the living room, Anna. Everyone is in there waiting for you.'

'Everyone?' Anna groaned, stopping as her mother shut the door.

'They are all rather eager to meet John, and after all that has happened, who can blame them?'

Harriet's words made John stop and look at Anna with a furrowed brow. He still didn't know the ins and outs of what happened in Anna's past, her mother's words doing little to stop his already over active imagination.

'Are you making the tea, mother?' Anna asked, trying to change the subject before leading John into the living room.

* * *

Anna watched on the sidelines as John got to know her family. Everyone was there. Anna's father, her brother Philip, his wife Becky and their seven year old daughter Molly. Her sister Jane and her husband Gary were also present, as well as their son Toby, who was five. John struck some common ground with Anna's father, James almost immediately. Both were war veterans, James's interest piqued in his daughter's new man when he mentioned he had served in Bosnia and Iraq. She couldn't help but burst with joy as she witnessed her Dad and John seemingly getting along so well, having only just met. Her Dad was usually a tough nut to crack, and if Anna was honest the person she was least looking forward to John meeting. But she needn't have worried.

Philip and Jane were a little more reserved, in a private conversation in the kitchen both admitting to Anna they were a little unsure of the age gap. Harriet counteracted this by arguing Anna needed someone like John to look after her, particularly after all she had been through. It was then that Anna informed them John didn't know everything about her previous relationship and asked them to keep it that way. They were unsure but promised they wouldn't say anything, both reiterating their little sister's welfare was all they cared about.

'If you haven't told him about your ex, what about the bedroom side of things?' Jane asked, taking her little sister into the conservatory for a private moment.

The two of them were only a little over a year apart in age, therefore very close. Throughout their time growing up together, there was very little one didn't know about the other.

'We haven't yet,' Anna shrugged, folding her arms. 'We've come close, we've shared the night together but we've never made that final step. Maybe after I finally feel the time is right to tell him everything that might change. I haven't felt ready and John respects that.'

'Well, that's one thing I suppose,' Jane conceded.

'He's a lovely bloke, Jane. I've never felt like this before.'

It was however, little Molly whom John made the biggest impression on, particularly when he told her he could play the piano. She lead him to the hallway where her birthday present was situated, having just turned seven. A brand new keyboard. Although trying to remain interested in Becky talking about her hair salon, Anna had half an ear on the hallway, listening as John taught Molly a melody on the instrument. Toby had joined them, Anna making out that John was encouraging her nephew to clap along in time to the music.

After half an hour or so, Molly came into the living room, followed by Toby and then John who was carrying her keyboard. He placed it down, then looked to Molly. Anna felt her heart constrict in her chest upon seeing how natural John was with her niece and nephew.

'John, you stand there,' Molly said, pointing to her left. 'And Toby, you stand there.'

'I think Molly has something to say,' James said, catching everybody's attention. All eyes were on John and the children now.

'Thank you, Granddad,' Molly replied, the slightest hint of a chuckle breaking out amongst the adults present. 'John has taught me to play something on my new keyboard. He's going to sing, Toby is going to clap and I am going to play.'

'You can tell she's your daughter, Becky, bossy like her mum,' Jane joked, earning a dig in the ribs from her sister in law.

'Come on then, Princess,' Philip encouraged, Anna rolling her eyes as she noticed her brother was armed with his camera phone, ready to film the event.

John met Anna's gaze then, winking slyly in her direction before offering Molly some assistance as she set up her keyboard. He knew what that did to her, winking at her. Her breath was coming in short gasps, she unable to stop looking at him as he helped her niece, reminding her of the opening keys.

'Okay, after three start clapping Toby,' John instructed the little boy, 'and a one, two, three.'

After the countdown, Molly began to play the melody she had been taught, Toby showing good rhythm for a chap with such a tender age as he clapped along in time. Anna instantly recognised the tune, the adults laughter filling the air once more as they did so as well. Anna couldn't help the smile that threatened to split her face in two, the three of them looked so cute standing together in front of everyone, John on his knees to be more of an even keel to his fellow band mates. Then he began to sing, Anna finding herself becoming lost, the same way she did every time she heard John's gravely tones.

_'Baby you light up my world like nobody else,_' he rolled his eyes before singing the next line, Anna remembering a late night conversation about ridiculous song lyrics they had shared, _'the way that you flick your hair gets me overwhelmed. But when you stare at the ground it ain't hard to tell, you don't know, you don't know you're beautiful.' _Lifting his head, Anna nearly fell off of the side of the armchair she was sitting on as he met her gaze before carrying on, this time Molly joining in_. _She could feel herself falling more in love with John with each passing second, seeing him with the two children she adored causing unfamiliar feelings to surge within her. She'd never seen this side to John. _'If only you saw what I could see, you'd understand why I want you so desperately. Baby I'm looking at you and I can't believe, you don't know, you don't know you're beautiful, that's what makes you beautiful.' _

As they finished, cheers and applause erupted amongst those gathered as John encouraged both Molly and Toby to step forward. Taking both their hands, he lead them in bowing in front of their audience. After accepting the acclaim, he offered both Molly and Toby a high five before moving towards where Anna was sitting.

'Philip has asked if we would like to join everyone for a drink. Mum is going to look after the kids.' Anna whispered, taking John's hand in hers. 'I know you wanted to get to the hotel but you don't mind, do you.'

'Of course not,' John smiled, kneeling beside Anna. He nodded in the direction of Molly and Toby. 'What did you think?'

'The three of you were adorable,' Anna admitted before they were interrupted by Philip.

'Anna, John, we're leaving now,' he announced, kissing Molly on the head. 'First round is on you, sis.'

* * *

Although feeling some initial hostility, John could feel Anna's siblings and their partner's warming to him. It was understandable. Anna had been through something, something John longed to find out but at the same time, was wary of learning about Anna. The thought she could be made to feel suffering and pain was more than John could take. That she had to go through something so traumatic as to cause her such distress, if he could John knew he would do anything in his power to change her past. All John could do was to promise to be there for Anna in the present.

The drinks were flowing, although John stuck to the soft drinks, his excuse was that he was driving. A call from Robert had interrupted the evenings festivities, he phoning to ensure his prized possession was still in one piece. Reminding his friend he had driven tanks through war zones back in their army days, Robert seemed suitable assured his 'baby' was in safe hands.

Leaving the ladies to their conversation about make up and what not, John, Philip and Gary went to the bar to get another round in. Anna's brother was becoming more welcoming towards John, their shared interest in football cracking through the initial thaw. Gary was an easy enough bloke to get along with, John decided, he very interested in John's musical side.

As the barman was fetching their order, the three men were sharing an animated conversation about the weekends football fixtures before Philip's attention was grabbed by someone walking past them at the bar, towards the exit.

'I'm going for a smoke.' Philip said, his voice calm and controlled although his demeanour was anything but.

Looking beside him, John was surprised to see Philip following the man, his pace quickening the closer he got to him.

'Shit,' Gary murmured, Philip now disappearing out of the pub.

'What?'

John was the epitome of confusion as he paid the barman for the drinks. Gary was already heading for the exit, John lifting the tray of drinks from the bar and watching as Gary walked in the direction his brother in law just had. James appeared beside John then, resting a hand on his wrist.

'Drop the drinks, John. You're a bouncer, you might be needed.'

'Why?' John asked, putting the tray back down.

Already moving towards the exit, James spoke back over his shoulder. 'That man Phil just followed is Anna's ex.'

Without another word, John was by James's side. As they reached the street, they were met with the sight of Philip squaring up to a man who was smirking callously and hurling insults at Anna's brother. Gary was trying to hold Philip back, the other man clearly enjoying winding him up.

'She clearly hasn't told you the whole story, Phil.'

'Shut your mouth,' Philip spat, Gary having to work even harder to keep him away.

'This isn't worth it, Philip.' Philip turned to see his father and John standing in the doorway, James stepping closer to his son. 'Leave it, son.'

'Listen to your Daddy, Phil. If only Anna had, eh? He never liked me.'

'Yeah, well he was proved right, wasn't he?' Philip shouted back, struggling even more in Gary's arms.

So this was the man who had hurt Anna. John clenched his fists, finding all the willpower he could not to walk over and inflict some pain of his own. The fact he showed no signs of remorse angered John even more.

'Who is your friend?' The man asked, pointing at John.

'Anna's new fella,' James replied, placing a hand on John's shoulder.

Releasing a cynical laugh, the other man walked past a flailing Philip to stand in front of John. John kept his gaze firmly on the man standing before him, clenching his jaw now as well as his fist. The only thought running through John's mind was to hit the bastard, and hit him hard. But something held him back, something was stopping him that John couldn't put his finger on.

'He's a bit old for her, no?' John felt James shift on his feet beside him, but he maintained eye contact, waiting to hear what he had to say next. John was daring him to push him, to make him lose the final shred of resolve he was holding on to. 'Still, you're welcome to her. Too gobby for her own good, that one. Never would do what I told her. I had to show her in the end. Served nine months in prison mind, but boy was it worth it.'

That was it, John had heard enough. Gary could no longer hold on to an onrushing Philip, but it was John who was lining up a punch. Just as he was about to move his fist, a voice from the doorway stopped John's action at once. Anna. In that moment he knew Anna was his resolve. As he turned to look at her, the next thing John felt was a blow to his cheekbone, knocking him off his feet.

'Andrew!' Anna squealed, her voice piercing John's ears as he stumbled to the ground. The bastard had caught him unawares, John lifting his hand to just below his eye. The sound of a siren could be heard then but John didn't care. He knew retaliating wouldn't do anyone any good, but holding the man down until the police arrived, he could do.

It was John's turn to catch Andrew by surprise, dragging him to the ground and using his weight to hold him there until the police were with them, using the training he had been given as a bouncer. Andrew was squealing in pain, Gary and Philip meeting the police and explaining to them what had happened as they approached the scene.

'You unimaginable bastard,' John whispered so only Andrew could hear. 'You're lucky I'm not pounding you to within an inch of your life.'

'Why don't you get back to that gobby little bitch of yours,' Andrew breathed, John pressing his head down to the ground that little bit harder.

'So having a mind of her own equates to being gobby in your world, does it?' John questioned, looking up to see the police coming closer. 'These guys are coming to save you now. That woman you have such little respect for is the most wonderful person to ever walk the face of the earth. I'm not a violent man but know if our paths ever meet again I will hurt you. And I mean it.'

The police took over then, John rising to his feet. His face was throbbing, but his only concern in that moment was Anna. Turning to face her, she was in James's embrace, sobbing gently. She met his gaze, her cries increasing as she took in the sight of his face. He offered her a weak smile as Philip tapped John on the back.

'Come on, lets get back inside,' Gary suggested, looking over his shoulder to see Andrew being lead away. 'I thought I'd seen him earlier but couldn't believe he would have broken the restraining order so soon.'

'Do you mind if me and John make tracks?' Anna asked, turning her attentions to her brother. 'We need to talk.' Oh God, that was never a good sign. John believed those four words to be the most dreaded in the English language. He nodded at Anna, swallowing hard as he did so. 'I'll just go get my bag.'

Philip and Gary walked back into the pub behind Anna, Becky and Jane meeting them having heard the sirens outside. James remained in the street with John, staring at him with an intensity John couldn't fathom.

'Be what she needs, John,' he murmured, his voice pleading. 'Please. She's got that light back in her eyes. My beautiful daughter is herself again, and that's down to you.'

'I want to be what she needs,' John replied, 'it's what I strive to be every day.'

Anna re appeared behind John, he recognising father and daughter might want a moment alone. 'I'll go and get the car.'

Walking away from them, John lifted his hand to his cheek again. God, it really was hurting, but it made John's heart bleed even more. If this is what it felt like to be hit by that man, heaven knows how broken Anna must have felt to be the victim of his vicious hands. He couldn't allow himself to think like that, if his sanity was to remain in tact. It was in the past. John promised himself again, it was his responsibility to make Anna's future brighter.

* * *

Anna looked on frustratingly as John took yet another bag of peanuts out of the mini bar in the hotel room. Although they hadn't taken that step in their relationship yet, Anna didn't see the harm in them sharing a hotel room. They had used the majority of the ice to bring down the swelling under John's eye. It was going to leave a spectacular bruise, that much was for sure. Anna felt so guilty, voicing her concerns as soon as she had got in the car beside John. He had assured her it was fine, but Anna knew it was anything but. John was going to have questions, questions she knew she now owed him the answers to. But he hadn't forced anything explanations from her, he was being his usual gallant self. And tonight it was infuriating.

They hadn't really shared any further conversation, only John seeking her permission to have a Jack Daniels and Coke from the mini bar, not that he needed her permission she gave it anyway. One drink wouldn't hurt. Now he was sitting in the corner of the room, placing a handful of the nuts in his mouth and chewing. She had had enough.

'John.' It surprised her how weak her voice sounded.

'Yes?' He didn't look at her.

'We need to talk about this.'

'No we don't,' he dismissed her remark, putting another handful of peanuts in his mouth.

'John, we do.'

He lifted his head then, meeting her gaze. 'No good has ever come from the words, we need to talk.'

'What makes you say that?' Anna replied, treading the floor between them to kneel in front of him.

'If you're going to finish it then fine, but do it quickly please.'

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, releasing a small laugh in response to John's words. How could this man believe she would want to end the best thing that had ever happened to her? He rose to his feet, walking past Anna before she grabbed his hand.

'Why would I end this, John?' She looked up to find his heated gaze looking down at her. 'I want to talk to you because I feel it is time to tell you the truth, about what happened.' Anna stood up, keeping hold of John's hand as she did so. She placed her other hand gently on John's cheek, he closing his eyes at the contact. 'It's the least I can do after what's happened.'

'I think I can gather what he did,' John leant into her touch, Anna releasing a shaky breath being in such close proximity to the man she loved. 'It's obvious now why you jumped that night at my place.' John wrapped an arm around Anna's waist, pulling her a little closer to him. He rested his forehead against Anna's, his voice was barely a whisper as he spoke to her. 'Know that I would never hurt you, Anna. I'd die before you came to any harm. I'll wait forever for you, if that's what it takes. Just knowing you love me is enough.'

'But it's not enough for me,' Anna said, surprising herself with the realisation she had come to. It was as if John finally knowing the extent of what she had been through had pulled the remaining wall down, the final barrier to her knowing him fully. The next words fell from her lips so easily, this felt right. 'I want you to make love to me, John. Please.'

John moved away from her slightly, she could feel his breath on her face, leaving him more rapidly than it had been seconds earlier. 'Anna, I don't want you to feel...'

She silenced him by placing her lips on his, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Anna was praying she was displaying in her actions how much she wanted this, how much she wanted him. She realised her advances must have been working as she felt his tongue running along her bottom lip, almost begging for her to let him deepen the kiss. She couldn't refuse him, allowing his tongue to meet hers. The kiss was languid, slow and all consuming, Anna felt herself melting under John's touch yet again. This man had such a powerful hold over her, one she hoped would never fade.

'Anna,' he murmured, pulling away, but not without brushing his lips against hers once more. 'Anna, are you sure about this?'

'Yes,' Anna answered without missing a beat, 'I've never been surer about anything in my whole life. I want you, John.'

She didn't know how he did it. John was so incredibly gentle yet was leaving Anna in no doubt as to how much he returned her desire, how much he wanted her too. Their lips met once again, John leading them to the bed. Breaking apart from her, John sat down on the edge, encouraging Anna to sit on his lap, her legs straddling his hips. As he resumed the kiss, sucking on her bottom lip and resting his hands on her thighs, Anna couldn't help but let her mind drift to all the times she had passed him on that walkway every morning. Listening to him singing lyrics to hundreds of songs, losing herself in his eyes, his voice, losing herself in him. And now here they were, Anna had dreamt of this moment before she even knew his name. Being the reason John lost control, hearing him voicing his pleasure and knowing it was because of her. It thrilled her more than she could ever put into words.

His hands had found the base of her spine under her shirt, his fingers kneading the skin there as he moved from her lips to taste the skin of her neck. A small gasp escaped Anna, John's touch threatening to overwhelm her.

'Are you alright, Anna?'

There was something about the way he said her name then, heightening her desire even more. She pressed herself closer to him, if that were possible, for the first time feeling his arousal through his trousers.

'Yes,' Anna replied weakly, threading her fingers in the hair at the nape of John's neck. 'I need more, John. I need to feel you.'

Displaying what she meant, she began to lift his shirt up his back, John understanding what she wanted and removing his shirt completely, Anna doing the same with her own. Their upper bodies removed to each other for the first time, Anna couldn't help her eyes roaming over the hair that was generously drizzled over John's chest. A real man, she thought to herself. So enamoured she was with the sight of John's torso, his toned upper arms and broad shoulders she had barely noticed him removing her bra. If what she had felt had been heavenly before, it was nothing compared to the feeling of John pressing his lips to her breasts, tasting them with his tongue. John lifted his head to meet her gaze, making eye contact with him at this moment was almost more than Anna could take, but she found she couldn't avert her eyes from his, feeling like her heart would stop beating if she did so.

'You are so beautiful,' he whispered, the sincerity in his tone causing the tears to sting the back of her eyes. 'What did I ever do to deserve you?'

He began to place kisses on her shoulders, the hollow of her throat, moving lower. Anna felt as if she was on fire, John's kisses warming her skin and turning Anna on to the point of madness. She could feel an ache in the pit of her stomach, an ache that begged to be eased. Standing up, she undid her jeans and allowed them to fall to the floor. John stood up then, mirroring her actions. Placing his hand on the waistband of her underwear, John murmured her name, Anna taking it as his asking permission to continue further. She nodded, feeling slightly self conscious as John pulled her underwear down past her knees, she stepping out of them and John tossing them to one side.

Anna needn't have felt embarrassed, John worshipping her body as if she were a Goddess. He remained on his knees, kissing her ankles before moving higher, her knees, her thighs. Anna was soaring high, unable to focus on anything else but the feel of John's lips as they moved ever closer to her centre. Anna could take no more, John was driving her mad as he teased her now with not only his lips but also his tongue. Resting her hands on his cheeks, she lifted his head to meet her gaze. His eyes were dark, the sight of them causing a rush like a jolt of electricity running through her body.

Without another word, she was pulling John's underwear down over his thighs, the power shifting with Anna suddenly taking control of the situation. Once he had kicked his boxer shorts out from under his feet, Anna was taking him in her hands.

'Christ Anna,' John hissed, closing his eyes as she ran a hand down his length.

Anna knew she couldn't wait any longer, pushing John back down on the bed. In the next moment she was straddling him again, his arousal brushing against the sensitive skin of her centre. He had barely touched her there, yet she was ready for him. A shift of his hips and they would be joined, both knew it as their eyes met for what seemed like the millionth time, Anna learning eye contact with this man was almost vital as breathing. John held her gaze as he pushed up, breaching her folds. One final shift of his hips, and they were joined completely, mutual gasps of pleasure escaping them both. John stilled his movements for a moment, Anna was glad of that.

He completely filling her sending all her senses into overdrive, Anna was finding finally becoming one overwhelming. John's head was resting against Anna's, their lips meeting intermittently as they held each other. Everything that had occurred before had lead to this moment, and now it had happened Anna needed a moment to adjust to the divine sensations that were overtaking her body.

'You feel incredible,' he finally said, breaking the stillness that had fallen over the room.

'So do you,' Anna managed to reply, her voice weak as she did so. She was surprised she could say anything at all, such were the feelings John was creating within her.

The gentle rock of his hips made Anna aware John was ready to move. Her climax was already building, his ministrations on her before they had returned to the bed rendering her almost completely lost already. He then returned his lips to her breasts, and Anna really was done for. Her groans of pleasure filled the air, John taking them as his encouragement to quicken his movements. Anna could feel the end approaching as John took the rosy peak of her nipple in his mouth for the first time. Then it happened. It was as if her head was exploding, such was the pleasure that was coursing through her veins. All encompassing, Anna had never been made to feel like this before, it was that powerful she couldn't think beyond the fact this was the most satisfaction she had ever felt in her life, and how much she loved the man she was sharing this moment with.

Before she could catch her breath, John had moved her so she was on her back, he now above her. 'Is this alright?'

Anna couldn't answer him with words, simply nodding as he covered her mouth with his own, she reaching her end seeming to cause a shift in John's demeanour. Feeling his hips beginning to move against hers once more, she wanted nothing more than to make John feel how he had just made her feel. Sensing her coherence increasing with each second that passed, Anna wrapped her legs around John's hips, taking him deeper within her. He was moving slowly, so incredibly slowly as he whispered words in her ear that would make her blush in any other circumstances.

It wasn't long until he called out, her name leaving his lips and floating right into her soul. As he made to move away, Anna held him in place, wanting this most perfect moment to last a few moments longer. In the end, his weight became too much and she allowed him to move beside her. Not wanting to be without his touch for too long, Anna reached out for John.

She felt strange. Not in a bad way. Far from it. It would take her a while to comprehend what had just happened, what it meant for the two of them. All she knew, as she lay in John's embrace, was that for as long as she lived she never wanted to lie in another man's arms. They had only known each other mere months, but Anna knew. She just knew.

* * *

An hour or so had passed. A dim light spread throughout the room. No words had been exchanged since they had parted, no words were needed. An unspoken understanding passed between them, an understanding that events that evening had changed things between them for the better, they simply felt right.

The musky smell of their lovemaking still lingered in the room. John couldn't remember a time when he felt more at peace. He was lying on his side, Anna facing him. They shared smiles, their lips met on occasion but above all, they were together and for all they cared, they could have been the only two people left on earth and it wouldn't have mattered.

But an urge was bubbling within John, something that was as natural to him as breathing. Music was everything to him, as was Anna. No words could ever do justice to how he was feeling at that moment, John had never been the best at voicing his emotions. But one thing he was sure of was that he could display how he was feeling through song, and God how he wanted to sing in that moment. Sing from the rooftops that this most beautiful creature was his and that he was hers. Searching his mind for a song that would display all he was feeling, he remembered the CD he had made for Anna on Valentines day. One track in particular Anna had remarked was her favourite. He just prayed she didn't find it too saccharine, John would never have done this for any other woman. But Anna made him want to do things he never believed he could.

_'Honey now... take me into your loving arms,' _His singing voice had initially startled Anna, despite how soft it was. But John was relieved to see her smiling, encouraging him to continue. '_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.' _He placed his lips upon hers, before placing her hand on his chest. _'Place your hand on my beating heart.' _He saw a solitary tear run down her cheek then, kissing it away before carrying on with the next lyric. _'Thinking out loud, baby we found love right where we are. We found love right where we are._'

A moment of silence passed between them before Anna spoke.

'John Bates,' Anna said through a whimper, John lifting her hand to his lips and placing a kiss upon her knuckles. She was smiling, a most beautiful smile John would never grow tired of seeing. 'You smooth operator.'

He had to chuckle upon hearing her words, pulling her closer to him. 'I love you, Anna.'

'I love you too,' she replied, tucking her head under his chin.

Her next words shook John to his core, how someone as flawless as Anna could feel this way baffled him, but he accepted her words and would treasure them until his dying day.

'I don't know how you did it, how you got me smiling and believing in love but you have, when I thought no one ever would again.'

* * *

**A/N 2- The song John sings at the end is 'Thinking Out Loud' by Ed Sheeran. Just in case you didn't know it and wanted to check it out. You should, it's nice.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Your reviews are awesome. I never believed I would get one review for this, let alone over 100. Thanks so much. **

**A midweek update, I am just finding it so easy to write this story at the moment, as well as finding it a welcome escape to real life. Hope you guys are still enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it.**

**We find out a little more about Andrew in this chapter and what he did, so I'm not sure if it's worthy of it but this chapter carries a trigger warning, just in case.**

**Disclaimer-** Nothing belongs to me...

* * *

Anna felt different, that much was for sure. A feeling of completion had washed over her body last night, as if she had found something she never knew she had been missing. John had been the most wonderful lover. Caring, considerate and God, how amazing he had made her feel. She succumbed to his experienced hands not once, but twice more before they had fallen into a peaceful sleep in each other's arms, the sensation of his naked form against hers thrilling her every time she acknowledged it. John was only joining a line of a handful of people Anna had allowed to know her in this way, but it was no contest. It simply put, was just better with John, Anna supposed because of how deeply their emotions ran for the other.

Then he sang to her, it was the most romantic moment of her life. Basking in the afterglow, unable to take her eyes away from his, she was taken by surprise when his dulcet tones gently filled the air. If his was the only singing voice she ever heard again, Anna knew she would be content. She thought of the future, hearing him singing around their home every day for the rest of their lives, singing to her. What a perfect image to hold on to.

As he was getting ready in the bathroom for a guided tour of Anna's childhood neighbourhood, Anna was putting on her make up in front of the mirror. Thoughts of him came into her mind, Andrew. It had been a shock to see him, especially when his terms of sentencing, and later release meant he couldn't go near Anna indefinitely. It might have been a coincidence, Anna didn't know but to see him bought unwanted memories to the forefront of her mind. John knew in very vague terms what had happened, and Anna was glad that fact had been the catalyst for their taking the next step last night, but he didn't know everything. Meeting her eyes in the mirror, she knew she owed it to John to reveal this one last detail, before she fell any deeper.

For all she knew, it could change John's opinion of her ten fold.

'You're so beautiful.' Anna looked over her shoulder to see John approaching, hair wet from his shower, he holding a towel in his hand ready to dry it. He was bare footed, Anna not expecting it to have the effect on her that it was having. John had made his way to the dressing table where Anna was getting ready, leaning down to press warm kiss after warm kiss on her neck, his wet hair tickling her cheek. His voice was barely a whisper as he spoke. 'Thank you for last night, it was incredible. You really are the most desirable woman I have ever met.'

Rising to her feet, John stepped backwards to allow Anna room to manoeuvre. 'Careful Mr Bates, keep saying things like that and we'll never get anything done.'

'Would that be such a bad thing?' He rasped, taking Anna by surprise and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, pulling her body close to his before resuming his attentions to her neck. Anna was lost.

She supposed a walk around the neighbourhood could be put on hold for a little while.

* * *

_You lucky bastard_. That was the most common thought to reverberate around John's head since last night. Not only was he fortunate enough to call Anna his girlfriend, she was now also his lover.

John had imagined what it would be like, he was a man after all, but what had materialised far exceeded what he had dreamt up in his mind. Even on cold mornings when she was simply a passing commuter and he was busking, he had imagined them in that situation, never for one moment believing it would become reality.

Her body was flawless, John still having to pinch himself now that someone like Anna would even let him look at her in that way, let alone eagerly want him to make love to her. The way she asked him sent his heart soaring, John had never been given a simpler task in his life. Learning her body had been one of the most joyous experiences he had ever had. Finding the ticklish spot between her shoulder blades, discovering what she enjoyed the most, memorising her cries of pleasure and the expression on her face as the end took her. All these things John would treasure, things only he knew about Anna.

As they walked around Anna's hometown, hand in hand, he kept meeting her eye. He wondered if she was thinking about all they had shared too. There was something different in the way Anna looked at him, it sent the adrenaline coursing through his veins. There was this new element to them now, it made what they had together seem even more precious, he supposed. Now he knew Anna in this way, it made the thought of them ever breaking all the more harder to bear.

She was so animated as she explained about all the places she had loved visiting as a child. The park, the ice cream parlour and the local cinema. He laughed as she told stories of her childhood with her brother and sister, relieved her experiences of growing up were mainly happy. But behind her enthusiasm for telling John stories, he could sense she was holding something back. On occasion, she would go quiet, her brow furrowed as she, John presumed, mulled something over in her mind. As usual, he wouldn't press her, she would tell him in her own time.

They reached a lake, the late winter air around them wasn't as harsh as it had been in recent months, but it was still quite cold. However, John thought nothing of it when Anna requested they sat on a nearby bench, overlooking the water. The midday sun was sparking on the blue water, John noticed two swans swimming past. He smiled, silently wondering if it were a sign. Swans stayed together for life. As he observed Anna tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, that didn't seem such an unattractive proposition.

'Sure your eye doesn't hurt too much?' Anna asked, John lifting a hand to touch the bruised skin just under his eye.

'The painkillers have been managing it. I'll survive.'

'This place was famous amongst the kids at school,' Anna continued. She chuckled before adding, 'the boys used to bring the girls here for a bit of a smooch.'

'Is that so,' John growled, finding the grin on her face at that moment totally irresistible. He placed an arm around the back of the bench, resting his hand on her shoulder. 'And did any boys bring you here for as you say, a smooch?'

Anna met his gaze then, John's breath catching in his throat as she did so. She looked away before answering. 'David Warburton.'

'Ahh, we're getting into the territory of ex's, are we?' John's tone was teasing. 'We've never spoken about that before.'

'He's barely an ex, we were only fourteen years old.'

'You even remember how old you were.' John pulled Anna closer to him. 'Sure he didn't mean that much to you?'

'Well, everyone remembers their first kiss, don't they?' She shrugged, looking out onto the water, playing the memory in her mind, or so John believed. She turned to him again. 'Don't you?'

He was nodding, of course he did. 'Sarah Hardcastle, she was fourteen and I was twelve.'

'Woah, a cougar.'

'Yeah,' John chuckled heartily at Anna's remark. 'I was tall for my age, taller than most of the boys in her year. She mistook my height for being older than I was and I never told her the truth.'

'You cad,' Anna nudged him gently before she turned slightly more melancholy. 'I don't really think about ex's, especially after...'

Her voice faded away and John suddenly felt terrible. He hadn't thought. 'I'm sorry, Anna. I...'

'Don't be sorry,' Anna reassured him, placing her hand on his knee. John waited for her to continue. 'It's alright. Truth is, there wasn't really anybody before Andrew, a couple of youthful dalliances but nothing more. I was with him for seven years.' She released a cynical laugh. 'He swept me off my feet. We were happy. It wasn't until he lost his job five years in that he showed his true colours.'

Silence fell then, John unsure what to say. He clenched his fist, just thinking about what Andrew had done to Anna made him angrier than he could ever put into words, let alone hearing she had to endure it for two years. He wanted to hurt Andrew last night, if Anna hadn't appeared John's retaliation would have been more than just holding him on the floor until the police arrived. His threat wasn't an empty one, he would willingly cause Andrew pain if he ever laid one finger on Anna again.

'You see, John. I need to tell you something, something that happened and I'm not sure how you are going to feel about it.' John was certain nothing could change his opinion of Anna, absolutely nothing but instead of voicing his protests, he didn't interrupt, simply nodding to say he acknowledged her statement. 'That final night, the night Andrew was arrested. He...he...'

She stuttered, closing her eyes and inhaling a deep breath. John's heart ached to see her in such suffering. 'You don't have to do this, Anna.'

'But I do.' She was crying now, John hating the fact that man was causing her tears again. 'It could affect the future, our future, and you need to know.'

Anna stood up, walking a few paces away from the bench before turning around to look down at John, who had sat forward, leaning his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. She looked so vulnerable, John wanted to envelope her in his arms and reassure her that nothing could turn him away from her, but something compelled him to remain silent.

'That last night, he forced himself on me. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't,' Anna had her arms folded across her body, her voice trembling as she spoke. She stopped to compose herself, looking away from John, shaking her head. John rose to his feet then, carefully stepping closer to Anna. He gently placed his hands on her elbows. 'I was in hospital for a few days, observations and stuff. But I learnt he had caused damage, irreparable damage.' She shifted on her feet, John recognising the feel of her toes touching his on the ground beneath them. 'I still remember the doctor as he approached me, his eyes so full of pity. A young woman, her whole life ahead of her. He sat down, Dr Newman was his name. I'll never forget the way his voice sounded as he told me.' Anna lifted her gaze to meet John's once more before she continued. 'He said that the damage Andrew caused meant it would be extremely difficult for me to conceive in the future. There was still a chance, but the fact of the matter was it is very unlikely I will become a mother.'

All in that moment, John's heart broke. Not because of the possible implications of Anna's revelation for him, but because of this wonderful gift Anna had been robbed of at the hands of a monster. In their time together, he had noticed Anna watching mothers with their children, simply putting it down to the fact every woman wanted that, to be a mother. Didn't they? Anna was in her thirties, it was natural. Then his own doubts came to the forefront of his mind. Firstly, he meant it when he said to himself nothing could ever change how he felt about Anna. He loved her, plain and simple. It was black and white. And secondly, John wasn't even sure he would be able to father a child. Ten years of marriage to Vera and never a sign that they would start a family. In the early years, before their union turned sour, they had tried to no avail. Little did he know that was a blessing in disguise. All John knew was that he had to reassure Anna, let her know no matter what, he was going to be there for her.

'I'm so sorry, my darling,' he murmured, pulling her into his embrace. John could feel her break down completely, her body shaking against his as she rested her head on his shoulder. 'So, so sorry.'

'I understand if you don't want this to carry on.'

John pulled away from her then, his expression was incredulous. 'Are you serious?'

'You might want to be a Daddy someday.'

'Anna, I'd be lying if I disagreed with that, but the fact of the matter is it's you I want.' He paused for a moment, searching for the right words in his mind, how to articulate all he needed to say. 'It's still very early days between us, but if you asked me right now to choose between a life without children, or a life without you, I'd choose never to be a father.'

Anna took John completely by surprise then by pressing her lips to his, her hands on his cheeks. How she could even think for a moment he would want to end what they had together he didn't know. What they shared went beyond any relationship he had ever experienced in his whole life, she simply understood him like no one else. The briefness of their time together didn't matter, this felt like nothing ever had.

'I love you,' she breathed, resting her forehead against his.

'I love you too,' John replied, the words rolling off his tongue so easily, as if he had been saying them for years, instead of days. 'And the truth of the matter is I might not be able to have kids either. Vera and I were married for ten years and nothing ever happened or ever seemed likely to happen.'

'We're lucky we found each other then, aren't we?'

John laughed at that. 'Anna, I tell myself that every single day.'

* * *

Next port of call was Anna's parents for a spot of lunch. She had to admit she felt relieved John knew everything. No more secrets. Not on her side anyway. There was things she still needed to find out about him, she knew that, but there had been enough revelations for one weekend away.

She was looking forward to her Aunty Hattie's party, seeing all of her family, some of whom she hadn't seen for quite a while. Most of all Anna couldn't wait to introduce the most wonderful man she had ever met to those who mattered the most to her.

John gravitated to the living room where James and Gary were watching the lunchtime football match, Toby on the floor playing with his cars. Philip, Becky and Molly were at a prior engagement, meaning the house was slightly quieter than the previous evening, particularly with Molly absent.

Anna stood leant against the kitchen counter as Jane and their mother made sandwiches for lunch. They were talking about some family scandal that had occurred whilst Anna was in London, something about her cousin, George but Anna wasn't really listening. She was thinking about John, about the beautiful words he had said to her by the lake earlier.

'Penny for them.' Brought out of her reverie by her sisters voice, Anna looked up, not even realising her mother had left the room.

'Sorry, I'm away with the fairies today.'

'Hmm, I could tell,' Jane replied, an eyebrow raised. 'Is it that fella of yours?'

'Maybe.' Anna shrugged, stepping closer to the counter and picking up the knife that lay on top. 'Shall I take over for Mum?'

'Come on, Anna. I've been able to read you like a book since we were little girls.' Jane nudged Anna with her elbow, Anna meeting her gaze and unable to stop a smile from spreading across her face. Her sister's voice was almost a squeal as she spoke next, taking Anna's hand in hers. 'Oh my God, you didn't.'

'We had a heart to heart last night, and then...'

Anna didn't need to say anything, her face displaying all the answer Jane needed. 'How was it?'

'Wonderful,' Anna breathed, looking to the ceiling. 'Better than I could have ever imagined.'

'Does he know everything?'

'He didn't until an hour ago,' Anna replied, Jane leading her to the kitchen table so they could sit down. 'I told him, that it's unlikely I'll be able to have kids.'

'What did he say?'

'He'd choose a life with me over a life with kids.'

Jane gasped, putting a hand over her mouth. Anna was beaming, knowing in that moment Jane's feelings were changing completely towards John, for the better.

'Come on, girls.' Harriet appeared again, walking to the counter and continuing to butter the bread. 'These sandwiches won't make themselves.'

* * *

He couldn't take his eyes away from her. It was becoming a familiar sensation. As he sat in the corner of the room, James his company, he was completely and utterly transfixed. She ruled the dance floor, her laugh lit up the whole place. Intermittently, he would catch her gaze and suddenly simple things like breathing became difficult. She looked absolutely stunning in a black knee length dress, black lace drizzled down her arms. Perfection.

James had proved to be fine company as Anna's family celebrated her Aunt's seventieth birthday. He had even revealed he had heard what John had said to Andrew the previous evening when John was restraining him on the floor. John was touched when James told him he hoped things worked out between himself and Anna. The rest of her family were very friendly, all happy Anna had finally found someone new who was going to take care of her.

John had only been coaxed up to dance a handful of times, once by Molly when the DJ played _'Live While We're Young' by _One Direction in an ironic nod to the birthday girl, managing to keep her Aunty's boyfriend as her dancing partner for the next few songs, including a Time Warp, John quite impressed with his performance. Now as the evenings proceedings were drawing to a close, people beginning to leave, the music had begun to slow down.

Anna had been sitting on a table with her cousins for a while at this point, John remembering her saying they were close when they were growing up. She hadn't seen them for a while, and John was glad she was having the chance to have a catch up. It was becoming more apparent family was important to Anna. They helped her come through a massive trauma and tragedy brings people together, John knew that more than most.

Last orders had been called at the bar, a crowd had gathered there whilst others were waiting for cabs. John was chatting with some of Anna's family when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Anna standing before him. Leaning down so she could whisper in his ear, John placed a hand on her hip.

'Have you heard what's playing? The DJ said it was the last song.'

Stopping to listen, John grinned as he recognised the song to be _'All Of Me_,' a song he had recorded for Anna on her CD. In the next moment he took Anna closer to the dance floor before pulling her closer to him, beginning to move her around in time to the music.

_'You're crazy and I'm out of my mind...' _

Anna was giggling as John continued to sing to her, her laughter sweeter to his ear than any song that could ever be played.

'People are looking, John,' Anna murmured, John turning to look over his shoulder at the group of people swaying at the bar.

'Let them look,' John said, not caring the eyes of the room were on them. He lifted Anna so she was level with him and off her feet, slowly spinning them around. _'Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you_...'

'John,' she laughed, wrapping her arms more tightly around his shoulders. They were the only two on the dance floor as the song played out. John almost forgot anyone else was in the room, Anna had him completely beguiled.

He had never expected this weekend to be such a voyage of discovery, yet he had reached the end of it knowing the extent of Anna's demons, of her experiences in the past and had also shared the most perfect night of his life with her. John had made a vow to himself, to be there for Anna no matter what came their way. He had also come to one more realisation.

He was falling in love with her more and more every day.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N- Just to put it out there that what happens was always planned. It might come as a shock to some. **

**Thanks for all the reviews, they mean a lot and I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas.** **But lets face it, if you watched Downton you probably did. **

**Disclaimer**\- Nothing belongs to me.

* * *

John tapped his knees rhythmically with his fingers, looking up at the ceiling, anything to have to not look straight ahead of him. He exhaled a breath before realising he was going to have to look at them. He was sitting in the middle of the sofa in Anna's living room with Ethel, Gwen and Daisy for company. They were sitting opposite him, John feeling as though he was on a job interview and the three women in front of him were his potential bosses. It was akin to that feeling of being nervous going for a new job, meeting his girlfriend's best friends.

After being shown in by Anna, she had made her excuses as soon as he had stepped over the threshold, needing to use the bathroom. And here they were. Ten minutes later and John had never felt so uncomfortable in his life. The initial pleasantries and usual questions of what do you do for a living had long since subsided into a drawn out silence, waiting for Anna, their common link, to return.

'So Anna tells us you're the best she's ever had.'

'Ethel,' Anna exclaimed as she walked into her living room, sitting beside John on the sofa. She took John's hand in hers. 'Sorry about that. Think I've eaten something that didn't agree with me.'

'No need to apologise, are you alright?' Anna nodded and John smiled, squeezing her hand in his. 'I missed you.'

A chorus of aww's could be heard coming from Daisy and Gwen, John and Anna turning around to look at them. Ethel's response was quite the opposite, she screwing her nose up before finishing her glass of wine in one.

'Can I get anyone else a drink?'

'You haven't even offered John a drink?' Anna rose to her feet immediately, following Ethel towards the kitchen, stopping at the door to look at John. 'Tea?'

'Please.'

'Don't mind Ethel,' Daisy began, 'she's harmless really.'

'Yeah, it's just your being with Anna has reminded her how single she is,' Gwen admitted with a whisper, 'it's all about Ethel. You'll come to realise this the better you get to know us.'

A flicker of movement to his right caught John's attention, he turning to see Ethel come back into the living room. These three people meant a great deal to Anna, so if John was going to be with her they were going to be a part of his life as well as her. His early impressions of Daisy and Gwen were favourable, Anna had always spoken about them in glowing terms and her testimonies about them had been on the money so far. However, her explanation about Ethel had also been spot on. She seemed self involved and didn't think before she spoke.

'So, you're the man who is going to steal our Anna away from us, are you?' Ethel placed a straw in her wine glass as she spoke, before lifting her gaze to meet John's.

'No, not at all,' John stood up then, realising this might be his chance to get Anna alone before the real interrogation began. 'I'll just go and give Anna a hand.'

As John left the living room he heard Ethel utter, 'yeah, I bet that's not all he'll be giving her.'

Shaking his head, John reached the kitchen door. Instead of making his presence known, he decided to lean against the doorframe and watch as Anna made the tea, humming to herself as the radio played in the background. It had been six weeks since their trip to Yorkshire, subsequent encounters since that first time had just got better and better. John felt like the luckiest man in the world.

'What are you staring at, Mr Bates?'

He was caught off guard, standing up straight before Anna looked at him over her shoulder. Stepping into the kitchen and moving towards her, Anna's smile made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. John was beginning to believe her smile would never fail to affect him.

'I'd try to explain what I'm staring at, but I'm not sure there are any words in the English language that would do her any justice.'

'Trying to charm your way into my bed again, are we Mr Bates?' Anna wrapped her arms around John's shoulders. 'Because if you are, it's working.'

'Does that mean I can stay the night?' John asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

Anna pressed her lips to John's before replying, 'I'd be disappointed if you didn't.'

'Are you sure you are okay? I don't like to think that you are poorly.'

'Funnily enough, I'm fine now I've been ill,' Anna explained, moving away from John and back to the counter.

She began to open a box of cakes that had been left on the side, reaching for a plate and arranging them neatly. John stepped in her direction, standing beside Anna and resting his hands on the counter, either side of her waist.

'Hmm, those look delicious,' he growled into her ear. John turned his head to see Anna's slightly tilted back, her eyes closed. Placing his lips on her neck, John abruptly jumped away from his girlfriend when one of her friends cleared her throat behind them.

'Anna, did I leave my phone on charge in here?'

It was Daisy. John was slowly beginning to realise he might have to be patient for some proper time alone with Anna.

* * *

Standing up beside the toilet, Anna took a look at her appearance in the mirror. She looked absolutely terrible. Grey around the eyes, her hair was a mess, pale. The sickness she had been suffering from had lasted a few days now, she even having to cancel a date with John because she was feeling so terrible. It was now Tuesday, and her and her friends 'date night.' Anna had been feeling better but felt absolutely awful as the night drew closer. Walking back into her bedroom, she winced as Daisy and Ethel argued over the hair straighteners. She threw herself face first onto the bed, groaning as she did so.

'What's up, chick?' Gwen asked, rubbing the back of Anna's leg as she sat beside the bed putting on her make up.

'I feel so sick,' Anna moaned, her voice muffled from having her head face down on the bed.

'Still?' Daisy asked, giving in and letting Ethel use the straighteners first. 'You should go to the doctors.'

'I hate doctors,' Anna sulked, sitting up and leaning against the headboard before grabbing a pillow and hugging it in her arms. 'I think I am going to have to take a rain check on tonight girls. You don't mind, do you?'

'But it's our date night,' Ethel argued, looking at Anna's reflection in the mirror she was using.

'I know and I'm sorry, but I don't want to throw up on someone's shoes like the new years eve before last.' Anna ran a hand through her hair. 'Trust me to choose the girl with the most expensive shoes in the place to decorate with my...'

'Thank you,' Gwen interrupted, lifting her hand to indicate she had heard enough of Anna's story. 'We understand. Would you like us to stay in with you?'

'No, go and have a good time.'

* * *

John hated nights like this, the quieter ones. The hours had seemed to drag and what made it worse was that he was on duty with Thomas and not Alfred. He was worried as well. Anna's friends had entered the club a couple of hours before without her, along with his Goddaughter Sybil and her boyfriend Tom. Tom was a football buddy of Thomas's and the girls knew each other too, Anna being their common link. Gwen had assured him that Anna was fine, she just wasn't up to a night on the town. Still, all John wanted to do was get home and try to get hold of Anna, just to hear from her own lips that she was alright.

'Oi, oi.'

John looked over his shoulder to see Tom walking his way, followed by the four girls all looking decidedly merrier than they had been on their arrival at the club. He tried to act friendly as the girls approached him.

'You re so lovely to Anna,' Daisy said first, touching him on the shoulder before stumbling a little. 'So, so, lovely.'

'Well, she's lovely,' John replied with a smile.

'Thomas, my friend,' Tom was chatting to John's colleague, 'take a picture of myself and the lovely ladies. For prosperity.'

John rolled his eyes as everyone lined up for the picture in front of him, all except Ethel who was looking at him very strangely. He could see her in his peripheral vision, smirking at him. Turning his head, he was shocked when she darted forward, placing her lips upon his. It was over as soon as it had began, John stepping away as quickly as he could.

'What the hell are you doing?' John exclaimed, wiping his mouth as Gwen took hold of Ethel.

'I just wanted to see if Anna was right,' she slurred, struggling in Gwen's grasp.

The next voice that was heard was Thomas's, telling Tom that the picture was already on Facebook with Tom tagged.

'You legend,' Tom said in his Irish burr. He took Sybil's hand. 'Come on you, lets find a taxi home. Bye John.'

'Yeah, bye Tom. Look after her,' he called after them before turning his attentions to Gwen who had hung back, Daisy leading a rather tipsy Ethel to the taxi rank.

'Sorry about that,' Gwen apologised for her friend. 'She gets a little flirty when she's had a few.'

'With her friend's boyfriend?' John replied, looking down the road at Ethel and Daisy.

'She'll feel terrible in the morning,' Gwen said, 'and I'll get her to apologise next time she sees you.'

'Tell her not to bother,' John shrugged before his attentions turned to the person missing from this evening's festivities. 'How is Anna? Really?'

'She can't stop being sick,' Gwen replied, 'we've told her to go and see the doctor but she won't. She hates being in that environment, reminds her of that bastard.' John nodded to acknowledge he understood. 'I best go and catch up with them. See you soon, John.'

'Yeah, bye Gwen.'

Watching as she walked away, John hated to think of Anna so ill. All he wanted to do in that moment was wrap her in his arms, to take care of her. Yet, as Thomas allowed a group of young revellers to enter the club, he knew that moment wasn't coming any time soon.

* * *

In bed, finally. Anna was absolutely shattered and as she stretched out on her mattress, the moment she had been waiting for since she got up that morning had finally arrived. Looking at her phone, she noticed a Facebook notification, a status from Gwen simply saying, 'missing my bestie,' accompanied by a picture of Gwen sitting alone with a sad face. Anna smiled at the gesture, thankful to have a friend like Gwen in her life. Flicking through her timeline however, her smile soon turned to an expression of confusion, then anger. It was a picture Tom Branson had been tagged in, posing with Gwen, Daisy and Sybil. But the scene behind was one that angered her.

Ethel was there, with John. And they appeared to be kissing. What the hell? Anna's mind was moving at hundred miles an hour as she zoomed in on the picture. She was going to be ill again.

Leaping out of bed, she ran down the hall to the bathroom, just making it in time. What had been going on at that club? Surely John wouldn't kiss Ethel willingly, she knew what Ethel was like after a drink. It must just be a huge misunderstanding, mustn't it? John wouldn't do that to her. But then again, it had been only a few months, how could you know someone completely after a few months? How could John put himself in that position when he knew what Anna had been through?

Rising to her feet once more, Anna opened the cabinet to look for something to soothe her stomach when she noticed the painkillers she used to relieve her cramps at her time of the month. And then it hit her like a speeding train. Everything suddenly made sense. Sickness. Tiredness. She was late. She was never late. But she couldn't conceive, the doctor had told her it was almost impossible. Anna racked her brain, they had been careful, John had made sure. Then she remembered that first night in Yorkshire, their first time.

Maybe she should book an appointment with the doctor.

* * *

Robert watched as John paced the floor of his best friend's kitchen, alternating his hands as he kneaded his fists. John had arrived an hour or so earlier, ranting and raving that Anna hadn't answered any calls or texts for two days. He had been to her flat, but she wouldn't answer the door. She hadn't passed him on that walkway whilst he busked for the past two mornings. And he didn't know why.

'Maybe she's lost her phone?' Robert offered, trying to be helpful.

'Okay, explain why she won't answer the door.'

'She's staying with a friend.'

'Why hasn't she walked past me?'

'Being ill, she couldn't face the train and got a taxi.'

John stopped walking and narrowed his gaze, looking at Robert. 'You're good, you should be a lawyer.'

Just then, the front door burst open, a few seconds later Mary appeared at the door, followed by Cora carrying what seemed to be hundreds of shopping bags.

'Been spending my money again, have we dear?' Robert asked as Cora kissed the top of his head.

'Darling, now spring is upon us you know I need a whole new wardrobe.'

'Obviously,' Robert replied, rolling his eyes in John's direction. 'Forgive me for overlooking that minor detail. But does that shopping spree mean we won't be able to afford to eat until the summer?'

'What are you doing here, John?' Mary asked, switching the kettle on. 'I thought you'd be nursing Anna back to health.'

'What do you mean?' John furrowed his brow.

'She's been off work for the past couple of days,' Mary replied, 'didn't you know?'

John didn't answer. He was already leaving the Crawley's with the intention of finding out what was going on once and for all.

* * *

Anna pulled the blanket more tightly around her, trying to concentrate on the television although finding it impossible. Pregnant. Six weeks pregnant. She was stuck between two emotions, one of being deliriously happy something she thought she had been robbed of was happening to her, and the other her confusion over the baby's father.

She hadn't answered the phone to anybody the past couple of days. Missed calls from Gwen and John kept flashing up on her phone. She just couldn't bring herself to talk to anybody, she had never had a day off from the fashion house once. But the man she thought loved her locking lips with one of her best friends rendered her unable to face the world it would seem.

Also, how would John react to the news he was going to be a father? He might run a mile, although Anna knew deep down he wouldn't. She was nervous about telling him, perhaps that was part of the reason she had been ignoring his calls and texts, she wondered.

The sound of the buzzer caught her off guard, her heart suddenly beating quicker such was her shock. She sighed, who could it be this time? The fact of the matter was, she was going to have to face the world sometime. It wouldn't be John, he had worked the night before and would still be in bed. It might be Gwen, Daisy perhaps? Anna didn't know what she would do if it was Ethel. Having a baby in prison might not be considered her best move ever.

Walking to the phone that connected her to whoever was trying to get in downstairs, she was shocked by the voice she heard.

'Anna, let me in, It's John.'

'What do you want, John?' She asked, shocking herself by how indifferent she sounded.

'Anna, please let me see you. Even if you just come down here, please. I need to speak to you, to know you are alright. I've been worried sick.'

Sighing, Anna put the receiver down before slipping on her trainers. Grabbing her coat and her keys, she began to make her way downstairs. Neutral territory. A mixture of emotions began to flow within her. Anger at John's actions the other night, fear at how he might react to the news she knew she would have to tell him, and confusion as to how she was actually going to break the news to him.

Reaching the bottom floor, she saw John with his back to her, leaning against the glass of the door. Walking towards him, she gently knocked and he turned to look at her. Suddenly, anger pooled in her veins as memories of that kiss flooded her brain. One thing was for certain, she was going to have to deal with that matter first.

'Anna,' he said, reaching for her.

'Don't John,' Anna replied, pushing his hands away before stepping out of the building and standing beside him. He seemed visibly shocked by her actions, Anna's heart aching a little at the sight of his face, etched with confusion.

'Anna, what's going on? You haven't been answering my texts, my phone calls.'

'Well, I thought you'd be too busy with Ethel.'

'What?'

'I saw the picture John.'

'What picture?' he shrugged, running a hand through his hair causing that one lock to fall above his right eye. 'Anna, you're going to have to be more specific.'

'The picture of everyone outside the club the other night, you and Ethel sharing what looked like a rather passionate embrace.'

He looked flummoxed, staring out ahead of him. Anna could tell the penny had dropped, but the thing that bothered her the most was that John wasn't trying to explain it, the silence between them somewhat deafening.

'And that tells me all I need to know.' Anna turned to walk back inside before John put his hand over hers on the door handle.

'How did you see that picture?'

'It was on Tom's Facebook, he was tagged in a picture by some guy called Thomas Barrow.'

'What does being tagged even mean?' John exclaimed, shaking his head. 'I don't have Facebook, I don't have a clue how it works but all I can tell you is this has been a huge misunderstanding. Yes, Ethel did kiss me but I pushed her away. She was drunk, Anna. Ask Gwen.'

'It looks like you were enjoying it in the picture.' Anna folded her arms, turning to listen to John's explanation. She had never heard such desperation in his voice as he carried on talking.

'How can you think that? After all we have shared these past few weeks, months even.' He placed his hand on her cheek then, Anna closing her eyes at the sensation of his skin on hers, again. She hadn't realised until then how much she had been missing his touch. 'Since the first moment I saw you, walking past me at Waterloo I have never given another woman a seconds thought. You are the only person that occupies my thoughts now Anna. Only you.'

He was good, that much was for sure. And what he was describing about Ethel married up with her past behaviours. But then she remembered her news, and her relief was soon replaced by a nagging doubt that John wouldn't like what she was about to say.

'John, I have some news. About why I've been feeling so ill.'

'Oh God, what is it? It's serious isn't it?' John was panic stricken, Anna meeting his gaze and shaking her head to try and alleviate some of his fears.

'Let's take a walk, shall we?' Anna offered John her hand, he taking it without missing a beat. 'I could use some fresh air.'

* * *

Anna had lead John to the square near her home, some benches overlooked a river and there they sat. She hadn't spoken and John was beginning to panic. All sorts of scenarios were running through his mind. What if she was really ill? She couldn't be, Anna was young, strong, fit even. She took care of herself. He squeezed her hand tightly, turning to face her. She smiled weakly but John could tell she was trying not to cry.

'Anna...'

'I'm sorry I accused you of cheating on me with Ethel,' she interrupted him, John furrowing his brow. 'I know you would never do anything to hurt me.'

'She literally just flung herself at me, Anna. Gwen will tell you.'

'I can quite believe it,' John watched as Anna stared straight ahead, releasing a small laugh once the words had left her. 'She's a funny one, Ethel. It's all about her.'

'Which begs the question why are you actually friends with her? When she is the complete opposite to you. Someone like you who is selfless, kind hearted...'

'You still think that after I've been ignoring your texts and calls for the past few days?'

John shook his head, unable to believe her words before moving his arm to wrap around her shoulders, bringing Anna closer to him. 'Nothing will ever change my opinion of you Anna. I told you that up in Yorkshire and I am telling you that now. I love you.'

A moment of silence passed between them as John held Anna's gaze. Her expression was unreadable, but John had said his piece. He had told Anna how he was feeling. It was her turn to speak now.

She finally spoke, her voice barely a whisper. 'I have something to tell you.'

We'll face it together, whatever it is.'

John meant that with every fibre of his being. Anna took a breath, averting her eyes from his. She took a deep breath, John moving his arm to rest his hands in his lap. Anna looked towards him, John locking his eyes with hers once more.

'I hope that's the case John. Because I'm pregnant.'


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N I loved every minute of writing this chapter. Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much, To all the loyal reviewers- you guys rock. Thanks for sticking with the story. **

**Disclaimer- Nothing DA related belongs to me, still. Alas.**

* * *

He was very quiet. A few moments had passed since her confession. His gaze had left hers to study the floor, he was hunched over, leaning on his knees with his elbows. John needed time to process what she had just told him, God knows it was still a shock to Anna and she had known for a couple of days. When he stood up, Anna's line of vision followed him, taking a few steps towards the river. He had his back to her, his arms folded. He began to pace the riverbank. John still hadn't looked at Anna, his face, his expression was unreadable. It was becoming too much for her to take.

'Look John, I'm not asking anything of you. I am still trying to get used to it myself. If you need a few days to decide what you want to do...'

She was taken aback as John finally looked at her. 'I'm not going to say I'm happy about this, Anna.'

That was it, then. Emotions overtook Anna. This had been her biggest fear. That this would break them. Her bottom lip began to wobble, she could feel the warm sting of tears in her eyes. John had begun to walk back towards her, Anna could detect a slight gleaming of tears in his eyes, too. 'I knew it. I was worried about this.'

'About what?'

Anna shook her head, the tears flowing freely now as John sat back down beside her. 'You'll think I have done this to trap you.'

Whatever Anna had expected his reaction, laughter hadn't been it. 'Anna, a man can only be trapped if he wants to be trapped. I could run for the hills right now and get on with my life.'

She kicked the ground beneath her feet upon hearing his words, her sobs muffling her voice somewhat. 'Why don't you then?'

Anna was a mere spectator as John wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her tightly to him. He pressed a light kiss to her temple, Anna releasing a shaky breath as she registered his touch.

'I'm not going to feed you lines about standing by you, that implies I don't really want to be here, because nothing could be further from the truth. It doesn't matter what I think Anna, all that matters to me is how you feel about this all.'

'But it does matter what you think.' Anna insisted, 'it matters a great deal. I've just told you I am carrying your child. How does that make you feel?'

She watched as John considered her question for a moment. He tilted his head to the side, his arm still positioned around her shoulders. Turning his head to look at Anna once again, he slowly raised his eyebrows before a smirk formed on his lips.

'Relieved really. At least I know now my bits work.'

After giving him a disbelieving look, Anna couldn't help but smile as well. Their smiles soon turned into laughter. John pulled her more into his embrace, telling Anna more with his actions than words ever could. He wasn't pushing her away, although he had admitted he wasn't exactly happy, he wasn't leaving her to face this alone. She had known deep down he wouldn't. Not John.

The loss of his arms around her came as a shock to the system, but it was soon replaced with utter love and admiration for the man beside her as he moved to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in his. Anna had never seen the look in his eye. Sincerity. Devotion. John was the only man who had ever shown Anna such emotions.

'I love you and I meant it when I said we're in this together, Anna.' She couldn't help but rest her hand on his cheek, the familiar sensation of his slight stubble against her palm somewhat reassuring. 'Yes, it's come earlier than any of us would have ever imagined, hell it wasn't even certain this would ever happen for us and it's not ideal, it's completely the wrong time but I think...' John shook his head, his voice filled with a conviction that made Anna's heart sing as he closed his eyes and corrected himself, 'I know we can handle this.'

'Truly?'

'Truly.' Anna lifted her hand to run her fingers through the hair at John's temple, relief flowing through her veins before he continued. 'Five months, that's how long we've been dating. But you've held my heart for much longer than that. And as far as I can see, I don't want anyone else to have it. Fate brought us here, and if these are the cards we've been dealt, we better learn pretty quickly how to play them.'

As John wrapped his arms around her waist, still knelt on the floor, Anna held him tightly to her, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt ashamed at how she could have thought for even the slightest moment of time John would abandon her. This was different, they were different. God had bestowed this gift upon them, a gift she was certain she would never receive, and to her that was a sign that some higher power believed they could cope with it. Together, they were strong.

* * *

John had walked Anna home that evening. She had sat in his arms in the armchair for hours, both trying to contemplate the road on which life was taking them. Anna was pregnant, and he was the father. He could process no other thought than this for quite some time. When John had told her earlier that afternoon he wasn't exactly happy about the situation, he had meant it in that moment. However, as the notion he was to be a father began to ever so slightly settle within him, that feeling slowly subsided.

Anna had assured him on the walk back to her flat that she was alright with everything. Shocked, but feeling blessed and lucky she had something she thought she never would have. That alleviated John's fears somewhat. In his concern, John had asked if Anna had been to the doctor, she replying that she had and that with her history, she was eligible for an earlier scan if she so wished. Already being six weeks gone, a scan at eight weeks would probably be able to detect a heartbeat and an appointment for two weeks time had been set.

Tears began to escape her then, thankfully this time they were tears of happiness, rather than despair. John knew Anna must have been hurt in the past to believe he would ever leave her to deal with this on her own. That wasn't who he was and he loved Anna too much to do that to her. Even though they had only been together for a short time, he already knew life without her wasn't even worth contemplating.

He remembered when he was married to his ex wife, how he used to spend time at his mother's house, she listening as he told her all that was wrong with his marriage. She offered him some words of wisdom, the words which indeed lead him to start divorce proceedings.

_'When you know someone is right for you, you know it, my boy. And I think deep down you know Vera has never been right for you.' _

Those words of advice had never been far from John's mind since he had been with Anna. It felt right, what they shared between them. John had never felt like this before. Anna was who he had been waiting for. Time didn't come into it and never had done. If John was honest with himself, time became immeasurable when he was with her. It felt like they had been together forever. He couldn't remember what it had been like without her.

Anna had agreed that John could visit his mother the next day, to tell her the news. She had also requested they travel to the north after the scan, to tell her family in person rather than over the phone. It would be a shock to everyone and telling them face to face would be appreciated rather than hiding at the end of a phone line. Anna also suggested they not tell friends until after the twelve week scan. John agreed, of course he did. A united front. They were in this together, after all.

Leaving her later that evening, not wanting to be a distraction with Anna insisting she was going back to work in the morning, John was in a haze of being so in love with someone to getting to grips with the enormity of what had happened that day. A small, rather vain part of him felt some satisfaction in being able to provide something Anna believed she would never have. Something she so desperately wanted. Anna was going to be a mother, and it was partly because of him. That amazed John as he negotiated the crowds on the underground.

As he travelled back into the centre of the city from Anna's south London home, John thought it a frightening prospect, that of bringing a child into the world. God willing, in a little under nine months time he and Anna would be parents. Wow. Walking along the south bank to his apartment, he thought about their circumstances. They were so lucky. Turning on the lights, his home now bathed in light he knew money wasn't an issue when for so many first time parents it was. They were emotionally ready for the challenge. Both had experienced enough in life, he was in his mid forties and Anna was in her thirties, age wasn't a barrier.

If he really thought about it, nothing was a barrier. Anna and John loved each other, both had promised the other they weren't going anywhere. They were solid. However, a look to the wall behind the armchair, of him and some of his comrades from his army days taken in Iraq, reminded him there still so much Anna didn't know. John didn't know why but his eyes were drawn to his wedding band as he wrapped an arm around Robert's shoulder. Marriage. The thought scared him. That would be the next logical step, but John's experience of it had left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. He was certain of his feelings towards Anna, he loved her with all his heart but the thought of marrying left him feeling cold. One day, maybe. But not now. He shook it from his mind. Anna hadn't mentioned it, that was enough for John. If she did, they would discuss it, but until then he wouldn't bring it up.

And the thought of marriage didn't enter his mind again as he negotiated a sleepless night. John even allowed himself for the briefest of moments to wonder if the baby would be a boy or a girl. He didn't entertain those thoughts for long, though. All that mattered was getting to the eight week scan and making sure everything was alright. Anna had confided in him she was scared about it, it wouldn't help if he began running before they could walk.

The morning arrived and John was up and showered before the sun had risen. He wanted to make sure he was on his spot at Waterloo, in place for when Anna would inevitably walk past him on her journey to work. He knew what he would be performing when she walked past him. Anna had put some music on as they sat together the evening previously, and this song had begun to play, striking a chord with John. So many songs were reminding John of Anna now, music was the only way he believed he could sufficiently express his emotions and always had been.

It had been slow going, John had been singing for an hour so far and he barely had a fiver in his case. He didn't mind, some mornings were like that. There was only one person he was waiting for, perhaps that showed in his performance. As he finished a rather lethargic attempt at Oasis, he looked at his watch. Anna would be here any minute. Tuning his guitar, he tried to remember the chords for the next song. Humming to himself as he strummed his guitar to ensure it sounded right, movement to his left caught John's attention. He recognised some of the commuters, knowing from his months of busking here they passed around the same time as Anna.

Beginning to play, he cleared his throat before it was time to sing the first line of the song. As if on cue, he saw her. Anna. He was struck dumb for a moment, just playing the melody of the song as he watched her walk ever closer. She was dressed immaculately, as she always was for work. But there was something different about her, something John had never noticed before. A glow, perhaps. She looked content, at peace and it touched John to his bitter core. He smiled. She now had the one thing she had always wanted. And suddenly, he wanted to sing.

'_I, I'm so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is alright with me.' _

Anna had looked up now and met his gaze, her face was now displaying the smile she seemed to reserve for him. It only spurred him on to put more passion into his performance, causing a group of thirty something ladies obviously in London for a day out stopping to listen too. Anna stopped a few feet short of them, the stream of people passing by had slowed down to a trickle.

'_Let me say that since baby, since we've been together, loving you forever is what I need…' _

John's turned his gaze from Anna to the group of women who were enthusiastically singing along, attempting to hit the high note of 'need' along with him and laughing together when they failed.

'We'll leave those to you, love,' one of the women said, John smiling upon hearing her words and nodding to acknowledge her remark as he continued singing. He looked back to Anna who was watching the situation unfold with amusement. The women carried on accompanying John as he approached the chorus, his line of vision focussed solely on Anna as he sang.

'_Let me be the one you come running to, I'll never be untrue…' _John stopped singing to address the group of women standing beside Anna_. '_Come on ladies, you take this bit.'

'_Ooo baby, lets stay together…' _they all wailed in unison, John able to hear Anna's laughter over them. He joined them once more for the next line, letting the grin leave his face impossible as he realised Anna was singing along too. _'Loving you whether, whether, times are good or bad, happy or sad, good or bad, happy or sad.'_

'Nice singing, geezer,' one of the women said, dropping a ten pound note into John's case as he played out to the next verse. 'And you're gorgeous too.'

'Thank you.'

John replied quickly, noticing Anna nodding her head, seemingly in agreement to what the woman had just said. The group walked away, leaving John, Anna and a few intermittently passing commuters. He lifted his eye brows for her benefit before embarking on the next verse.

'_Why, somebody tell me, why people break up, turn around and make up, I just can't see, you'd never do that to me…' _

'_Would ya baby?' _

Both Anna and John turned to see two young black men, approaching them with headphones around their necks, seemingly singing along with John.

'_Staying around you is all I see…' _

What John had hoped would be a private moment with Anna, or as private as busking outside Waterloo could be, was turning into an audience participation number. The men stood beside John, one of them putting their arm around him. They could sing, although John suddenly felt like a member of a boy band as they accompanied him. He looked at Anna whose laughter suggested she was enjoying the sight of them together very much.

'_Here's what I want to do…' _

'Come on then lads,' John gave in, even joining in as the two young men attempted a shuffle in time to the music. _'Let's, let's stay together. Loving you whether, whether, times are good or bad, happy or sad. Good or bad, happy or sad.' _

'You've got the moves, dude,' the man who had his arm around John said, the other dropping some coins into his case. 'Sick.'

'I take it that's good,' John said as the men continued on their way, looking to Anna for reassurance. She nodded and John realised this might be a good time to end his song. They were somewhat alone. He was transfixed as Anna reached into her bag, pulling out her purse and taking a two pound coin from the section at the back. He watched as the metal hit the inside of his guitar case before lifting his head to meet her gaze. 'Thank you.'

'No, thank you,' Anna replied, moving backwards a few steps. 'And I concur. Let's stay together.'

'Most definitely,' John breathed, looking at Anna through a narrowed gaze, clenching his jaw. 'Have a good day.'

'And you, Mr Bates.' Anna reached for his hand with her own, grasping his thumb. 'See you tonight.'

* * *

The kettle seemed to be taking ages to boil. John's mother was potting about her kitchen, mumbling about something or other that had happened at the day centre she visited. John hadn't really acknowledged what she was saying or had been saying since he arrived. He had got as far as a 'what are you doing here?' and 'would you like a cup of tea,' before he found himself at the kitchen table, in a daze. How was he going to break this news to her?

'I said you're very quiet there, Johnny,' his mother said, placing a steaming mug of tea in front of her son. 'Something on your mind?'

'You could say that,' John replied sheepishly before lifting the drink to his lips and taking a sip.

'Is it to do with that lovely lass of yours?' John lifted his gaze to meet his mother's, a smile brightening her features. 'How is young Anna?'

'She's fine,' John answered with a nod of the head, although he couldn't quite bring himself to reciprocate his mother's expression, such was his nervousness.

'Don't look too happy about it, will you lad.'

John exhaled a deep breath, averting his gaze from the woman sitting opposite him to the picture on the mug he was holding. Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. The mug John's mother had always put his tea in when he visited. He allowed himself a chuckle at that. One of those little details in life you took for granted but one day noticed and it suddenly made you feel reassured, reassured that someone loved you completely. John knew her love was unconditional. He could do this.

'Anna's pregnant, Ma,' John breathed, making eye contact with her once. 'And it's mine.'

'What?'

'Yeah,' John drew out the syllable, his voice a whisper. 'We're going to have a baby.'

'Bloody hell, Johnny.' Her tone was one of disbelief, shock. She wasn't shouting, John took that to be a good sign. 'How long have you known?'

'She told me yesterday, but she's known for a few days. She's six weeks gone.'

'Blimey.' She rose to her feet then, walking to the counter and leaning on it. 'And it's definitely yours?'

'No doubt. I'm the only man she's been with for a while. And I trust her wholeheartedly.'

'Of course you do, my boy. I shouldn't have asked that. Anyone who sees you together can tell how devoted she is to you.'

Silence fell then, his mother's reaction mirroring John's the day before. It was a lot to take in. She had probably grown accustomed to the fact she would never become a grandmother, now here he was telling her he had got his girlfriend of five months pregnant. As if she could read his mind, her next statement left her lips to break the stillness that had overtaken the room.

'It's so soon. Weren't you careful?'

'We have been,' John replied before shifting uncomfortably, this not something he really felt appropriate to discuss with his mother of all people but he was going to have to. 'Apart from the very first time. In the heat of the moment we just…'

'Spare me the details,' his mother interrupted him, John was relieved at her intervention. 'Well, I'll say something Johnny. At least we know now all your equipment is in full working order.'

John cocked his head to the side, finally unable to suppress a grin. 'That's what I said.'

Laughter filled the room in the next moment, his mother approaching her son and wrapping her arms around him. John revelled being in her embrace, relieved she seemed to be taking the news quite well. She was surprised, but that was to be expected.

'Just tell me you are going to stick by her.'

'Of course, I love her, Ma. I told her we are in this together.'

'That's my boy. Anna's a wonderful lass and deserves to be treated right and I know you will do.' She grinned, stroking John's cheek before resuming her position opposite him at the table. 'How does Anna feel about it all?'

'Shocked. But happy.' John stopped talking, taking a sip of his drink as thoughts of what Anna had been through came to the forefront of his mind. 'Anna revealed something to me, something that happened to her. It resulted in her being told she might not be able to have children.'

'How awful.'

'Yeah. We're having an early scan in a couple of weeks to make sure all is well. But she's pregnant and I think because of what she was told, she is feeling blessed this has happened.' John ran a hand through his hair, looking beyond his mother to the kitchen window. His voice broke a little as he spoke. 'To be the man who has given her this, Ma. It's just the most indescribable feeling. I know the moment I see her holding the baby will be the most amazing of my life.'

'Are you going to make an honest woman of her? I think you should.'

John had known that question was coming, he sat up in his chair as the words reached his ears. He had to be honest. 'No. Not yet. I love Anna and she knows I am going nowhere. That is enough for me.'

'Alright son, I won't push you,' she responded, a chuckle evident in her voice. 'I know your view of marriage has been tainted and I understand why.'

'One day,' John assured her, running his index finger along the coaster his mug was resting upon. 'But not at the moment.'

'So we've heard how Anna is feeling, and I am over the moon, my boy.' His mother's voice was practically sing song as she spoke. 'But what about you? You're going to be a Daddy.'

'I told Anna I wasn't happy about it when she first told me,' John admitted, feeling a little ashamed at the words sitting here twenty four hours later. 'The only thing that mattered to me was that she knew I wasn't going anywhere. It's such an overwhelming feeling, knowing that there will be something in this world that relies solely on you.'

'It is, believe me.' His mother offered John a knowing smile. 'But let me tell you son there is no other sensation like it. It's a gift and you should treasure it.'

'I shall try to,' John smiled. 'But you're happy with the news?'

'John my boy, I am absolutely thrilled I am going to be a Nan. I best dust down my knitting needles.'

* * *

As she cooked dinner, Anna was relieved to have a few moments alone to ponder all that happened over the past few hours. John would be joining her in a little while, and she was glad of some time to catch her breath.

After John's rather entertaining rendition of '_Let's Stay Together_,' she was left in no doubt that he wasn't going anywhere. It was them against the world now and it thrilled her heart more than she could ever put into words. Upon arriving at work, Anna felt that she had to tell Mary, with her being Anna's employer, as well as one of her best friends. Knowing what she did, Mary was thrilled for her friend, reassuring Anna her secret was safe and any time she needed off was no problem.

She had finally spoken to Gwen and told her friend she was fine, the doctor had said so and she was not to worry. She explained her ignoring all Gwen's and texts as a fault with her phone, which she was grateful her friend bought. Anna didn't want to tempt fate by telling those who didn't need to know. Not yet. It just all seemed too good to be true.

When John arrived, he explained how upon hearing Anna had told Mary, he had also told Robert. The were like brothers and he didn't want Robert hearing the news from anyone but him, despite Anna insisting Mary wouldn't blab. He also described how his mother had been thrilled with the news and that she was there for them in whatever way they saw fit. She was such a lovely lady and Anna was grateful she and John had her in their life. John also revealed what his mother had thought he should do. After dinner, they had retired to the living room. When one of them stayed the night, sharing an armchair before bed had become their routine. The fingers of Anna's left hand were toying with the hair that revealed itself to her at the top of John's shirt, his words leaving him in a whisper.

'Ma thinks I should propose.'

Anna was taken aback by that. It had never really entered her mind, the fact she was becoming a mother superseding any other thought she might have had. As absurd as it sounded, she didn't think she and John were ready for that. But in that moment, she really wanted to know what John thought.

'And?'

John shifted a little beneath her, clearing his throat before replying.

'Look Anna, you know enough about my past to know my divorce was messy. Marriage doesn't make a relationship any stronger, not in my opinion anyway. I was married to someone who my feelings for were incomparable to my feelings for you. I have experienced a hundred, no a thousand things with you that I never did with her.'

'I understand,' Anna replied and she meant it because she did. John was telling her that he didn't see why he needed to prove he was in love with her and standing by her by marrying her. And he didn't need to. His actions and words every day told Anna all she needed to know.

'If you want a metal band on your finger to tell the world my commitment to you then I'll do it. But you have my heart and soul Anna, and in my opinion that's worth more than a piece of metal or a sheet of paper.'

'You're heart and soul is enough for me,' Anna replied, pressing her lips to John's. He returned her kiss with fervour, their first passionate embrace since the whole sorry mess with Ethel. She broke away, wanting to broach the subject. 'I spoke to Gwen today. Ethel is horrified.'

'Good,' John replied without missing a beat. 'Never leave me alone in a room with her. Please.'

Anna chuckled at his words. 'Can't really blame her for finding you irresistible. I do.'

John's expression was one of wonderment as he looked at Anna. 'I cannot believe you are defending her. Someone you claim is one of your best friends tried to kiss, or rather ambushed your boyfriend and you are just saying you can't blame her. You even thought I was cheating on you.'

'I'm hormonal,' Anna shrugged, 'expect months of this.'

'Alright, but Ethel has a lot of bridges to build, I can tell you that.'

'Yes, and she knows that too. She knows I am livid. But she was off her face.'

'Whatever,' John disregarded Anna's remark, 'let's not waste our evening talking about Ethel.'

'What did you have in mind, Mr Bates?' Anna moved her hand from his chest to run a finger over his cheek. She was finding his ranting rather endearing. His eyes had turned rather dark, a mischievous smile had broken across his face.

'Did the doctor mention anything about not being able to…' He lifted his eyebrows in a way that made Anna's insides flutter. Anticipation coursed through her veins.

'No, but I'm sure it's alright. You'll just have to be gentle with me.'

John nodded, indicating for Anna to stand up. He followed, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and placing his lips on her neck. As they made their way to her room, she was hoping this was one activity they wouldn't have to give up as her pregnancy progressed.

* * *

The atmosphere was decidedly joyful as John drove Anna back home from the hospital in Robert's BMW. The initial anxiousness that had been the order of the day on their way to her appointment had been completely forgotten as soon as their babies heart beat could be heard in the room. Hand in hand, their eyes met as the noise played out. It was fast, John likened it to that of a speeding train. Anna's face was a picture as she watched the screen, everything being explained to them by the doctor. John committed the image of her features at that moment to memory, she looked so overjoyed. John was overjoyed. Seeing the baby on the screen, a living organism made it all seem so much more real. His child.

It was all perfect. Their baby was perfect.

The doctor had likened the foetus to a peanut, and a nickname for their child had been born. Peanut. John decided in that moment he was going to refer to the life growing inside Anna using that term from now on. It wasn't just a foetus, it was a human being. Something that should have a name.

Now back at her flat, John followed Anna down the hallway to the kitchen. She was grasping the picture of the scan in her hand, studying it before placing it upon the fridge.

'I just can't believe it.' Anna was shaking her head, looking at the picture in disbelief.

'Me either,' John agreed, standing beside her. 'Our baby.'

John looked down to see Anna trying to stifle a sob, it had been an emotional day but he hated to see her cry, especially at a moment like this.

'Are you alright?' John asked. A tear began to fall down her face and John's concern increased ten fold. 'My darling, what is it?'

'Nothing, nothing bad,' Anna shook her head, lifting a hand to her wipe the tears from her face. 'It's just, when you said our baby just then. It made me realise that Peanut,' she released a small laugh at the term, John smiling as he realised she had used it. 'Is ours. Our baby. He or she is the first thing that belongs to both of us. And I like that.'

What an amazingly beautiful woman the mother of his child was. John couldn't respond to the wonderful thing she had said with words, choosing instead to pull her closer to him with one hand and meet her lips in a kiss. John had such a hold on her that Anna's feet were barely touching the ground. Wrapping his other arm around her waist, he bent his knees before lifting Anna completely from the floor. She was laughing, John joining her as he spun them around on the spot.

All in that moment, John realised he was holding his whole world in his arms, the two people at the centre of his universe and he suddenly realised his whole life had been leading up to this moment.

There was no place he would rather be.

* * *

**Yeah, I nicked the last scene from the Christmas special. It was pure, unadulterated joy.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N A trip to Yorkshire, and John reveals a bit more about his past. **

**Just want to say the end of this story is not in sight yet. There is still plenty I want to do with these two. Thanks for your reviews :) **

**Disclaimer- Downton belongs to Fellowes, lucky sod that he** is...

* * *

John watched as Robert bought him a drink at the bar. He smiled, his best friend thrilled for him after finally meeting face to face to toast his good news. A few days had passed since the scan and John's head was still spinning, everything was fine with Anna and his pregnancy, he was going to be a father in a little over six months time.

Noticing Robert was going to some time, it being Friday night and the pub on the South Bank being quite busy, John took his phone from his pocket. The first thing he noticed was a picture message from Anna. Furrowing his brow as he opened the message, John chuckled as he read the words that accompanied a picture of what seemed to be Anna's afternoon snack.

'_Peanut is craving cheese twists dipped in Nutella. Where has this culinary delight been all my life?' _

John had to admit the thought of eating those two things combined turned his stomach, but composed a reply to the contrary.

'Finally getting around to replying to my message, are we Mr Bates? I did send it over an hour ago.'

Looking over his shoulder, John was surprised to see Anna standing behind him, her face displaying mock annoyance in his direction. John noticed Mary in the distance, chatting to someone she obviously knew.

'Hello,' John felt his heart beating quicker instantly with Anna being present, as it always did when he saw her. He rose to his feet and placed a kiss on her cheek. 'I wasn't expecting to see you until later.'

'Mary's Dad needed to see her and he told her he was here with you. I thought I'd wander down with her.' She leant closer to him, resting her hand on his chest to balance herself. 'Plus, I was missing you like mad.'

'I was missing you too,' John replied with a whisper, offering her a slightly less chaste kiss, her lips the destination for his this time.

'Put him down, Anna.'

They broke apart upon hearing Mary approach, John rolling his eyes for Anna's benefit before greeting the daughter of his comrade.

'Good afternoon, Mary. What brings you here?'

'I needed to see my Dad and he told me you guys were here,' Mary answered, looking beyond John to see her father approaching. 'Hello Father.'

'Hello my darling,' Robert put the drinks he was holding down on the table before approaching his daughter, kissing her on the cheek. His attentions then turned to Anna. 'Anna. I believe congratulations are in order.'

'Thank you, Robert,' Anna said, rather taken aback as the father of her employer kissed her on the cheek, looking to John with a surprised expression, he grinning in response. 'It was quite a shock.'

'I'll say, we never knew Bates had it in him.'

'Thanks Robert,' John sighed, putting his hands in his pockets.

'So, what did you want to see me for?' Mary asked, guiding her father away from the table for a moment, leaving John and Anna alone.

'How are you,' John asked, gesturing for Anna to take his seat as his gaze moved lower. 'How are you both?'

'We're good.' Anna shifted on the chair as she got herself comfortable, John sitting opposite her and pulling his Coke closer to him. 'Oh, where are my manners. Can I get you a drink?'

'Better not, we've only popped out for a moment, I don't finish until five.' John saw that Anna's look was quizzical, her eyebrow raised. 'There is something I've been meaning to ask you.'

'Shoot,' John said before taking a sip of his drink.

'Why do you rarely drink alcohol? I've noticed it before and seeing as we are bringing a child into this world together, I thought I should ask you if there's anything I should know.'

She was right, of course she was. Anna would have to find out about his past sometime, it was just that in the middle of the pub wasn't the place he wanted to have this conversation. Looking left, then right, he leant closer to the woman sitting opposite him.

'You have every right to ask, of course you do and there is a reason why. When I left the army I hit a spot of bother, but I'd rather not have this discussion here. Tonight, I'll cook you dinner at mine and we can talk about it then.'

'You don't have to,' Anna placed a hand over the top of John's, he starting a little at the contact, looking down at their hands. The feel of her skin on his was something he was sure he would never grow accustomed to. 'If it's going to trigger some bad memories I don't want you to put yourself through that. I was just curious, that's all.'

'What are you curious about?'

Robert and Mary arrived back at the table, seemingly having sorted out whatever the matter was between them. Anna took her hand away, John's skin instantly feeling colder at the loss of contact.

'Why John rarely drinks,' Anna shrugged, pointing at his glass.

'That would be because of the woman he now thankfully calls his ex wife.'

'Robert,' John scolded, offering him an icy glare as his friend picked up his pint and brought it to his lips. He looked back to Anna who was watching the scene unfold with interest. 'It wasn't just Vera, it was a multitude of things. And I wasn't easy to live with when I left the army.'

'Woah, conversation is getting heavy,' Mary said, looking at her watch. 'Come on, Anna. I think we'll be being missed if we don't get back soon. Bye Dad, John.'

'Bye Mary,' John called weakly after her, he was a little flustered by what Robert had just said. He looked to Anna who was standing up, he mirroring her movements.

'Nice to see you, Robert,' Anna smiled, clearly not as affected by his words as John had been. John followed Anna away from the table for a few steps before gently taking hold of her arm. 'I'll come straight to yours after work.'

'Shall I come and meet you?' John offered, tucking a strand of Anna's hair behind her ear.

'You're only a five minute walk, I'm sure I can manage.' She smiled, an action John couldn't help but reciprocate. 'You really don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, you know.'

'What's happened is in the past, keeping it from you won't change it.' Reaching for her hand, John lifted it to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles. 'I think you should know. I want you to know.'

Anna nodded, squeezing his hand before turning on her heel and leaving the pub. Anna had made her fair share of revelations about her past. Now it was John's turn.

* * *

It had been shocking, to hear of what John had experienced, but as she lay in his arms in bed later that night, Anna was glad that she knew. It was the early hours, and she had been unable to sleep since he had told her over dinner. The things he had described, the way it had affected him. It made her heart bleed that he had had to go through all of that without any support from his ex wife. No wonder his opinions of marriage had been tainted, if she was his point of reference.

John had explained how his final mission in Iraq had resulted in the loss of two young men in his battalion, two deaths he believed he could have prevented. In the attack in which they died, John had injured his leg. Anna had seen the scars before but never questioned him. She had her suspicions after how he had reacted when they had been to the Tower Of London. The last thing she had wanted to do was bring up bad memories, especially when they obviously still affected him deeply.

When he had cried as he spoke of William and Charlie, Anna had held him. As he sobbed on her shoulder, Anna gently rocked John and tried to reassure him that from now on, she was there. He didn't have to face this alone anymore. It took him a few moments to regain his composure, Anna gave him the time he needed to reveal whatever he wanted to, making sure he understood if it was too much to tell her everything, John really didn't have to. But he kept insisting he wanted her to know.

Anna listened with increasing disgust as John explained how Vera had been repulsed by his injury and turned her back on him in his time of need. She belittled him when in the immediate months after the incident he relied on the use of a cane. He fell into a deep depression, only able to find solace at the bottom of a bottle. As his marriage, and seemingly his life, fell apart around him it was Robert and his mother who pulled him from the brink. That and his love of music. It was around the same time he had begun to busk on the streets of London, trying to find an escape from the daily torture that was becoming his marriage to Vera.

His revelations had made Anna realise what a truly remarkable man John was. In the attack, he had also saved Robert's life, as well as that of two other men. But the guilt he felt at not having been able to do the same for William and Charlie still ate away at him. Anna felt for him more in that moment than she had ever felt for anyone before. She wished she had the power to turn the clock back, to change this for him. Realising it was pointless to pray for such a thing, Anna made a promise to herself that she would never let this man down. If she hadn't known it before, Anna certainly did now. She wanted nothing more than to be the person that John relied on.

John had revealed how his army pension and money he had earned from the sale of the house and other belongings after the divorce had meant he could live comfortably, it was the reason he had been able to afford an apartment overlooking the Thames. That and Robert, who had turned to property development after leaving the army, selling the place to him cheaper, such was his opinion that he owed John his life.

'I thought I'd cash in on the guilt,' John explained with a laugh in his voice, 'it was a load of rubbish but he offered me the place with a third of the price knocked off.'

Anna had had to ask, though. 'So what made you get a job as a bouncer when you didn't need to?'

'Insomnia,' John replied, a jovial lilt to his tone as he looked at the clock on his bedside table. 'One am and still awake. What's new? The good news is my maths skills are really sharp. I used to spend the whole night calculating how much sleep I would get if I fell asleep, 'right now'.'

Anna was giggling as she cuddled closer to him. 'I was beginning to notice I rarely see you asleep. You're usually already awake when I wake up.'

'Ahh, but you see my darling that it because one of the most beautiful sights on this Earth is of you when you are deep in slumber. Why would I sleep when watching you sleep is much more preferable.'

'Charmer,' Anna murmured, feeling tiredness threatening to overtake her.

'The truth is I am much more content since I met you so you are clearly a good influence. I see insomnia as a blessing these days, especially when I have you to look at.' Anna felt John place a hand on her stomach, stirring her slightly from her descent into unconsciousness. 'Should come in handy for night feeds as well.'

Anna smiled at his words, placing her hand over his and shutting her eyes unable to resist sleep any longer.

* * *

They were in this together. No matter what. Together. United. Those words reverberated around John's head as he and Anna sat in her mother's living room, not a sound could be heard as their announcement hung in the air. She was clutching on to his hand, her fingers entwined with his. Harriet was simply staring at Anna, her expression unreadable. James was looking up at his wife, waiting for her to say something. It was however Jane who spoke first, she present too with her and Anna's brother, Phillip.

'But I thought the doctor said…'

'So did I,' Anna interrupted, startling John somewhat. 'I thought I'd never have kids but I am. I am having a baby with a man I love with all my heart and I am pretty damn thrilled about it.'

'But you've only known each other five minutes,' Phillip chipped in, standing up straight from his position resting on the back of the arm chair Jane was occupying.

'Five months,' John heard Anna argue, tightening her grip on his hand as she spoke. She turned her attentions to her parents. 'Mum and Dad were engaged after three. Look at them.'

James spoke next. 'When is the date for the wedding?'

Slightly agitated at her father's words, John felt it was his turn to stand up for himself, to stand up for them. And for the life they were bringing into the world together.

'I'd marry Anna tomorrow if it was what she wanted,' John revealed, meeting Anna's gaze. 'But we both agree why we should speed up the process just because she is pregnant? I am committed to her and the baby and that matters more than a ring. I am not going anywhere.'

'Have you seen a doctor?' Harriet asked, John detecting a slight whimper in her voice. But she was smiling. That was a good sign, surely?

'Yes,' Anna nodded. 'We had an early scan because of everything.'

John stood then, reaching for his wallet and revealing the scan picture. Treading the carpet towards Harriet, he handed her the photo. Moving to stand behind her, John looked over Anna's mother's shoulder, pointing out what she was looking at.

'That's the peanut,' John explained, indicating what was no more than a white blob on the photograph. He looked to Anna, who was observing the scene with tears glistening in her eyes. 'Our baby.'

'But where are you going to live?' Jane continued, moving to her mother to have a look at the scan picture. 'And John won't be able to carry on working as a bouncer. It won't do him being out all night.'

'I know you mean well, Jane,' Anna answered with a sigh. 'But we have time to sort all that out. Can you not just be happy for us? You know more than most how much I wanted to be a mother and how close what I was told came to destroying me.'

'We are happy, Sis,' Phillip replied. 'It's just a shock, is all.'

'You're telling us,' Anna exclaimed with a chuckle, the atmosphere becoming less and less tense as the seconds ticked by. It seemed John's showing Harriet the scan picture had thawed the frost somewhat. John locked his eyes on Anna's as Jane had her turn looking at the picture, relinquishing his grip on it to let her sister take a closer look.

'But we're ready for this,' John continued, 'being the ages we are I think we are better equipped than most first time parents.'

'Yeah. Let's see if your saying that when you are wiping sick out of your hair and can't get rid of the stench of poo,' Jane replied as she handed John back the picture before walking towards the living room door. 'I'll go and check on our children playing in the garden, shall I Phil?'

As Jane disappeared down the hall, looks were exchanged before laughter filled the air. John placed the picture back in his wallet. Phillip had walked towards him and was offering John his hand.

'Congratulations John,' Phillip said sincerely, shaking his hand vigorously. 'I saw Anna at her lowest and this, what you both have told us makes it all worthwhile.'

'Thank you, Phillip.'

'Hey, what about your little sister? Where's her congratulations?'

Phillip released his grip on John's hand and approached Anna who was standing up. John looked on at the scene with joy, as Phillip swept Anna up in his arms. This was just the reaction he had been hoping for, the reaction Anna deserved from her family but it wasn't lost on John that James and Harriet hadn't really offered their opinions. He looked down at the two of them, Harriet now sitting on the edge of James's armchair, their hands entwined. Had what John had said about marriage offended them? Anna had mentioned in the past her parents were old fashioned in their views on life.

'Mum, Dad?' John looked over his shoulder, Anna's voice causing him to turn around. 'What do you have to say about it all?'

'I'll go and make sure Jane is alright with Molly and Toby.' Phillip left John and Anna alone with her parents. John resumed his position next to Anna, resting an arm across the small of her back. The silence hung in the air, it seemed to go on for hours until Harriet finally spoke.

'Are you happy?' Harriet asked her daughter, her smile from earlier forming on her lips once more.

'Happy doesn't begin to explain it, Mum,' Anna answered without missing a beat. 'Yes, it's sudden and not at all what we planned but I am willing and excited to accept this gift with both hands. I never thought I'd have this Mum, but I do and I am so grateful.'

'Then we are happy for you.'

Harriet stepped towards her daughter, holding her arms out to her. John stepped away and struggled to keep his own emotions in order as mother and daughter embraced. They were clearly quite close, and this coupled with all Anna had been through made this quite a moving moment.

A movement to his left caused John to turn his head, James rising to his feet. John knew he meant for him to come closer. After having a quick glance to Anna still in her mother's arms, the two exchanging private words, he moved a couple of steps towards James.

'Look lad, I won't pretend I am happy there is no wedding,' James admitted, his voice low so only John could hear. 'But I heard what you said, the night you restrained Andrew. In all my years I had never heard such conviction in a man's voice. And I believe you will stay true to what you said.'

'I meant every word,' John reiterated his promise to protect Anna, no matter what. 'She is everything to me, they both are.'

'You don't have to tell me, lad. I know.' Exchanging a handshake, Anna appeared by John's side then. James turned his attentions from John to that of his daughter. 'So, you're going to have a baby, are you?'

'It looks that way, father,' Anna's voice was still filled with tears, happy tears thankfully. John allowed Anna a moment with James, choosing to accept Harriet's offer of an embrace.

'Thank you.' John was surprised to hear Harriet whisper the words, pulling away to look in her eyes to make sure she had actually said them. He furrowed his brow.

'For what?'

'For giving me my little girl back.'

* * *

Relief. That was her overbearing emotion. Anna hadn't been looking forward to telling her family the news, but the way in which they had reacted was all she could have hoped for and more. Jane had been more practical in the way in which she took the news, but she had been the same since childhood and Anna couldn't expect her to change her ways now. Phillip hadn't been able to stop smiling all afternoon and James kept enquiring to Anna's welfare, just as he had done Jane throughout her pregnancy. Harriet was already discussing baby names and shopping for pushchairs, Anna not wanting to engage in that type of conversation just yet, the twelve month scan weighing heavily on her mind.

James and Phillip had gone out for the evening however Darts night at the local pub hadn't been enough to tempt John away. Anna smiled as, after walking in from the kitchen to enquire if he wanted a cup of tea, she saw him on the sofa, her heart melting as she saw Molly resting on his leg. The both of them were completely wrapped up in Frozen on the television.

Becky, Phillip's wife had arrived later that afternoon to take Molly home after finishing work, but she had begged and pleaded to stay and watch the DVD with John. Toby was playing happily with his train by John's feet, looking up intermittently at the screen, particularly when the snowman appeared. The women had laughed together as the sounds of John and Molly's duet of '_Let It Go_,' reached the kitchen.

'Is there any song you don't know?' Anna had laughed as she walked back into the living room, placing his tea on the small table beside the sofa. She moved to the armchair, happy to watch John and Molly as they continued to watch the film. Subconsciously rubbing her stomach, Anna couldn't help but imagine a few years down the line, John sitting with their child. It was a wonderful image, that of the man she loved with the son or daughter they brought into the world together.

'I must pass on my congratulations, John.' Jane's voice brought Anna out of her reverie, looking up to see her sister walking into the living room, followed by Harriet and Becky, 'Anna said you were good but to get her pregnant on your first time together, well. Bravo.'

Anna immediately began to blush a shade of crimson as John spat out the tea he had just sipped from his mug, narrowly missing Toby on the floor.

'Jane!' Harriet exclaimed, tapping her daughter on the shoulder before disappearing back into the kitchen. Becky was chuckling heartily as she sat beside her nephew on the floor.

'What? Anna told us as much in the kitchen.'

'In private,' Anna interrupted, looking to John who was eyeing her with a raised eyebrow. She mouthed the word, 'sorry', relieved to see John grin ever so slightly before sitting back on the sofa.

'I'm so sorry for my daughter's thoughtlessness, John,' Harriet made her apologies for Jane as she knelt down and began to scrub the carpet where the tea had landed, having retrieved a cloth from the kitchen.

'It's quite alright,' John said in response to Harriet, before taking another sip of his drink. He looked to Anna's sister, her face the picture of amusement.

'Anna tells us your Mum is thrilled with the news, John,' Becky spoke up, trying to change the subject.

'She sounds like a lovely woman,' Harriet agreed, leaving the cloth on the coffee table and sitting on the end of the sofa beside Jane. Anna noticed Molly shifting agitatedly, looking at her grandmother with an annoyed expression. 'I never knew you were Irish.'

'Lived there till I was ten,' John replied with a whisper, Anna noticing he too had acknowledged Molly growing restless beside him.

'And what of your father?'

'For goodness sake,' Molly shouted, the conversation immediately dying down. 'Me and Uncle John are trying to watch the DVD.'

Uncle John. Anna wasn't sure Molly understood the magnitude of her endearment. John's face was a picture as he heard it, looking down at the little girl beside him with the sweetest smile she had ever seen.

'Little Miss, watch who you are talking to,' Becky scolded her daughter from her position on the floor. 'Besides, it's not long until your bed time. We should be going.'

'Yes, you too Toby.' Jane said, reaching beside her on the floor to pick up his rucksack. 'Come and put your trains away.'

'But the film is nearly finished, Mummy. Please can we stay until the end?'

'Why don't you put the little ones to bed upstairs,' Harriet suggested, looking at her watch. 'It's not like they have school tomorrow with it being Friday. Let them carry on playing, it has been a wonderful day. No point in cutting it short when there is no need.'

'Oh alright,' Jane sighed, placing Toby's bag back on the floor. 'But no more cartoons once this has finished.'

'That's alright. John has said we can watch my One Direction tour video after this.'

'You soft touch,' Becky teased him, nudging his leg with her elbow.

'What can I say?' John shrugged, looking to Anna. 'The Smith women seem to have a way with me.'

Anna certainly couldn't argue with that.

* * *

John cringed as he heard the sounds coming from the bathroom. Things seemed to be happening in reverse. Rather than suffering her bouts of sickness in the morning, Anna was almost always ill in the evening. She had been fine on the drive back to the hotel, it was the lift to their third floor room that seemed to be the catalyst.

'Can I do anything to help?' John called, pacing the floor anxiously.

'I'll be out in a minute,' Anna replied, John subconsciously nodding.

Deciding to distract himself by getting ready for bed, John changed into his pyjama's in silence, each groan he heard coming from the bathroom causing him to wince. Now ready for bed, John pulled back the covers on his side and climbed into the bed. Looking to the bedside table, he thought about watching some television before he heard the lock of the bathroom door.

'I hope this sickness won't last forever.'

John offered her a sympathetic smile as she walked towards her bag. He watched as Anna pulled out her own pyjamas, dumping them on the bed.

'Are you feeling any better?'

'I am now,' Anna replied, beginning to undress. She met his gaze and smiled. 'Today went well.'

'That it did,' John agreed, thinking back over the events of the afternoon. 'Molly certainly is a little character.'

'I loved hearing her call you Uncle John.' He released a chuckle at her words. Anna's niece had certainly made an impression on him. 'It suits you, you know.'

'What's that?' John asked, pulling back the covers on Anna's side of the bed.

'Molly is very taken with you, as is Toby. You're very good with them.' Anna climbed into bed then, John smiling as she fidgeted for a moment or two before settling on her side, facing him. 'Do you want a boy or a girl?'

He narrowed his gaze at her. 'I thought we weren't talking about that, yet?'

'I'd love to see you with our daughter, holding her in your arms. Daddy's little girl.'

'I'd spoil her rotten,' John conceded, accepting Anna into his embrace. 'Take her to the park, feed the ducks on the way.' He kissed Anna on the temple, she gently sighing in response. 'She'd be the spitting image of her mother. Blonde hair, the most gorgeous sparkling blue eyes, a beautiful smile.'

'Yeah, I'm not sure how beautiful I have been looking recently.'

'I've been watching you for months Anna, and to me, these past few weeks you have never looked more beautiful.'

She sought out his gaze then, John's heart skipped a beat as their eyes met, his breath hitched in his throat. Their lips met, John closing his eyes as her mouth moved against his. Taking a few strands of her hair between his fingers, John broke away. Anna whimpered at the loss of contact, immediately trying to resume what John had stopped.

'Is that the best idea, considering what you've just been doing in the bathroom?'

'Do you not want to, Mr Bates?' Anna stroked his cheek, a flirty lilt to her tone.

'I wouldn't say that,' John said, falling deeper under Anna's spell before bringing himself back to the present. 'But you were just poorly and we've had a long day.'

'Maybe you're right.' Anna yawned quite loudly, causing John to laugh. She cuddled in closer to John. 'We can always have a lie in in the morning.'

'Now that,' John began, reaching beside him to switch off the light. 'Is a brilliant idea, Miss Smith.'

Darkness fell across the room then, John feeling instantly at peace with Anna by his side. She was silent, but John knew Anna wasn't asleep. He was waiting for her to say something, she kept releasing a deep breath, then stopping herself. Upon the sixth or seventh time John put her out of her misery.

'What is it, Anna?'

'What do you mean?'

'You've been trying to say something for the past couple of minutes.'

'Oh, it's something Jane said earlier. About your getting a job during the day.'

John nodded, even though Anna couldn't see him. He had been thinking about his job for the past few weeks, truth be told. Even though it had been good for him, especially in the immediate aftermath of his divorce, recently Thomas had become too much. Especially after the whole Facebook debacle, which John was convinced Thomas had done on purpose.

'I'll look when we get back home,' John whispered. 'A job during the day.'

'Well, you don't really need to work, do you?'

'Not financially, no,' John agreed, 'but I couldn't sit at home all day. I need to feel useful.'

'It's not just your job though,' Anna continued. 'It's about, well…' Anna stuttered, 'I was wondering what…'

'Anna, you can tell me anything,' John tried to reassure her, recognising her reluctance. 'You must know that by now.'

'It's our living arrangements. After Peanut is born.'

'Well, you'll move in with me won't you?' John thought it was obvious.

'Are you sure we are ready for that?' Anna wondered, John's reaction to her statement was to laugh hysterically.

'Ready for that? Anna, we are having a baby.' Anna descended into laughter herself then, realising how ridiculous she sounded. 'We don't have to right away, if you want to wait. But it makes sense to do it eventually, doesn't it?'

'Yes, it does,' Anna agreed. John smiled into the darkness at her words.

'So, I'm intrigued. What did you exactly say to your mother, sister and sister in law in the kitchen? I thought I could feel my ears burning.'

'I told them we made Peanut on our first outing,' Anna revealed. 'Mum said it must mean we were meant to be.'

'Well, I can't disagree with that.'

* * *

Having finished his busking for the morning, John took a wander into town, his guitar on his back. He wanted to uphold his promise to Anna of finding a job during the day time. He had no real skills, apart from being a soldier or not being too bad at singing and playing the guitar and the piano. The advertisements in the window of a newsagents offered little, being a dustman the most attractive proposition. He was in two minds as to enquire before deciding against it.

Moving on down the street, his attention was grabbed by the music shop in which he always tried to visit if he could. Then, it was as if all his dreams were coming true at once. There, as bold as brass in the door, was a sign indicating the store was looking for a new member of staff, with particular knowledge in the area of guitars. Perfect. Looking inside, John smiled as he saw all the different makes of guitars hanging on the walls, all the vinyl discs on the shelves, posters of his favourite bands and singers on the walls.

He could see himself working here. As he opened the door to walk inside, he hoped the manager would think so too.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N- A couple of new characters are introduced here. Thanks as always for your reviews, glad people are still enjoying this story :)**

**Disclaimer-** Nope, I still don't own Downton.

* * *

Opening the door, John's eyes darted here, there and everywhere as it often did when he shopped here. Music was such a force in his life, in fact it was a way of life. What a place this would be to work in every day. Posters of acts from The Beatles to Metallica and Beach Boys to Guns 'N Roses were plastered all over the walls. John chuckled to himself, memories of his bedroom as he was growing up came to the forefront of his mind. What most impressed John was the display of guitars, taking over nearly half of the shop floor and the wall space.

'Can I help you sir?'

John was startled to hear an American accent behind him, turning to see a well dressed man behind the counter, a stack of CD's beside him that he was busy pricing up. John stepped towards the man, pointing to the door before speaking.

'The note, on the door about the job. I wanted to apply.'

'You?' the man questioned, still continuing with his task of sticking labels on the CD's.

'Yeah.'

The man looked up, noticing the guitar case on John's back. 'You play guitar?'

'No, I just carry this around to try and make me look cool,' John replied, remaining completely deadpan. The guy behind the counter offered a confused expression in response, John shaking his head before turning more serious. 'I was being sarcastic, I've just been busking. Anyway, how do I apply?'

'Well, I'll give you an application form,' the man said, reaching under the counter, revealing a piece of paper and placing it on the desk. 'If you wanted to take a seat over there in the listening area, fill it in and I'll pass it on to the manager when he comes in.'

'Right,' John said confidently, eyeing up the words on the paper before looking at the young man once more. 'Do you have a pen?'

He had filled out the application form in twenty minutes or so. John didn't have a lot of relevant experience in the world of retail, but he was pretty confident his musical abilities would mean he had a good chance of being successful. He had been able to list his competence in playing guitar which was self taught, as well as holding a grade seven certificate in playing piano. From his position in the 'listening area', he had noticed a stage and small seating area towards the back of the shop. The prospect of live music made John want the job even more.

'Grade seven,' the shop assistant said out loud, scanning over John's application form. 'I am a nine myself, studied piano since the age of four back home.'

'Where are you from?' John asked.

'Chicago,' the man replied, 'jazz is my bag. I moved here to study music and this job is seeing me through college.'

'Man, I envy you,' John said with a sigh, 'being able to do something you love for a living.'

'Well, you never know.' The man lifted John's application form, waving it in the air. 'You might be successful. Someone will be in touch.'

* * *

Anna was full of anticipation as she made the short walk from the fashion house to John's apartment. Those feelings still hadn't died, from their first interaction until now. She wasn't sure they ever would. It was as if a part of her was missing when she was apart from him, a part she'd never known she had been missing before she met John.

Ringing the doorbell, it took a little longer than usual for John to answer. Anna could hear the deep tones of his voice, so she knew he was home. She could hear his voice becoming louder, before the door opened. He lifted a finger to his lips, motioning for Anna to just remain quiet for a moment, before offering a wink in her direction. John stepped aside for Anna to walk inside, it was only then that she picked up on his conversation.

'Yeah. I can be there for two tomorrow,' he said excitedly as he shut the door. 'Fantastic. See you then.'

Anna watched as John hung up his phone, a broad smile spreading across his face. 'What's got you looking so pleased?'

'Apart from you being here,' John replied, leaning down to place a kiss on her lips. 'I, my darling, have a job interview.'

'Oh John, that's wonderful.' Anna threw her arms around John's shoulders, he accepting her into his embrace. 'Where?'

Taking her hand, John lead Anna towards the kitchen area, pulling a seat out from the table for her to sit down. She sat down with a groan, placing her bag on the table.

'A music shop, in Carnaby Street,' John enthused, switching on the kettle. 'They were very impressed with my being able to play instruments apparently.'

'I wish I had a skill like that,' Anna mused as she shrugged her coat from her shoulders.

'My darling,' John began in tone that caused Anna to search for his gaze, he lifted his eyebrows, 'you have plenty of skills that far exceed my guitar and piano playing.'

Another peaceful evening ensued. John's armchair was fast becoming Anna's most favourite place on Earth. Tonight's topic of conversation was John's job interview the next day, Anna assuring him just being himself would mean he would get the job. It wasn't long however, until John realised Anna had fallen asleep in his arms. He didn't mind, holding her still felt as amazing as it had been the first time he had, but he knew with her condition she would have a much better night's sleep in bed. Looking at his bedroom door, he decided it wasn't too far to carry Anna.

Manoeuvring carefully, he was on his feet in a few careful movements. Steadying his feet, John looked to Anna who was still peacefully resting her head on his shoulder, her eyes still closed. Walking towards the door, John was thankful it was still open and also, thankful Anna had already changed into her pyjama's. Using his initiative, John moved the cover back with his toe before gently placing Anna down in bed. She wriggled a little, John smiling at the sight of her before tucking her in.

'Night my angel,' he whispered then placed a hand on her stomach. 'Night, little one.'

Carefully backing away from the bed, John walked out into the living room. Hands in his pockets, he looked around the room, wondering what to do. He eyed his studio, noticing the door half open. It was then that he saw his piano. It was less likely he would wake Anna using that than if he went in his studio which was right next door to his bedroom.

John played a scale on the keys before stretching his fingers. He didn't do this often enough. John had forgotten how much he enjoyed playing this instrument, the stresses of his life had simply melted away as the melodies he played filled the air. After messing around for a little while, which had in fact been an hour, John soon realised his was playing the notes for _Your Song _by Elton John. Humming the tune as he played, it wasn't long until John was singing the first line of the first verse.

'_It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside…' _God, how he loved this song. '_I'm not one of those who can easily hide.' _

And off he was, travelling into his own little words as the music he was playing engulfed him. So many nights after an argument with Vera or after a flashback, he would play music and be transported away from his troubles. Truth was, John didn't have many troubles to be transported away from nowadays, Anna turning up and completely turning his world upside down, for the better, but it was still nice to escape for a little bit.

'_And you can tell everybody, this is your song. It may be quite simple but, now that it's done…' _John had always loved singing the next couple of lines, it possessed a quality, changing the tempo in a way that no other song to his mind, did. _'I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words. How wonderful life is when you're in the world.'_

John had forgotten how much he admired Elton John as he continued on with the song. He had become so used to busking and using his guitar he felt like he had abandoned the piano a little bit. Although Elton was his favourite, John had also been inspired by the likes of Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and embracing all musical tastes, Billy Joel. Such wizards whilst sitting at the keys, John aspired to have just an inkling of their talent.

As he reached a particular part of the song, all John could suddenly think about was Anna. The first thing he had fallen for were her eyes, sparkling blue, the window to her soul. So many nights he found himself lost in all their beauty, often being left speechless as Anna looked at him. He closed his eyes, and thought of her as he sang the lyrics.

'_Excuse me forgetting, but these things I do. You see I've forgotten if they're green, or they're blue. Anyway, the things is, what I really mean. Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen.' _

Suddenly, those lyrics took on a whole different meaning. As he played the song to it's finish, John's eyes remained closed. Lost in the moment, he suddenly forgot Anna was sleeping next door as he sung the chorus for the last time with all his might.

'_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words…' _He slowed down the piano playing, his eyes still closed_. 'How wonderful life is, when you're in the world.' _

Playing the last note, John released a shaky breath before removing his fingers from the keys. Upon finally opening his eyes, he didn't expect to see Anna standing in the bedroom doorway.

'That was beautiful,' she whispered, walking towards John as he stood up. 'Amazing.'

'Did I wake you?' John asked, realising as she grew closer that she was crying. 'Anna, my darling. What is it?'

'I'm just overwhelmed,' she whimpered, touching his cheek with her hand.

'Overwhelmed?' John gave her a quizzical expression, resting his hand on her hip. 'About what?'

'That someone like you, with all that talent and passion, says they are in love with me.'

'Oh, my darling,' John pulled her close to him, wrapping her in his embrace. 'The only reason I sing with that passion is because you are my inspiration. I've never sung that song and had the lyrics mean as much to me as they did just then. I'm just sorry I woke you.'

'Want to come back to bed with me?'

John smirked at her suggestion. 'Oh yes.'

* * *

A shirt and tie had been deemed too 'over the top' for an interview in such an establishment, John instead settling on a black shirt, brown suede jacket and smart dark blue jeans. He had been greeted by the same chap as yesterday, the two discussing their favourite music whilst they waited for the owner of the shop to arrive. John was amazed that such a young man would be so interested in the likes of Ray Charles and Louis Armstrong but Jack Ross was. As they continued to chat, John was realising more and more how much he wanted to come and work here, if this is the type of conversation he would be having every day.

Their chatter was interrupted by the door to the shop opening, a tall gentleman probably in his late sixties walked inside. Thinking this was a customer, John was astounded to find out that this man was Charles Carson, owner of Cheerful Charlie's music shop.

'Mr Carson, this is John Bates,' Jack explained in his American brogue.

'Ahh yes, Mr Bates.' Charles offered John his hand. 'I was very impressed with your application form. Since I took over the shop it's important to me we have a staff who have first hand experience of playing instruments, to offer our customers real advice.'

'Thank you, sir,' John replied, shaking Charles hand with a smile.

'If you'll give me one moment, I'll just go and ready myself.'

'Of course,' John nodded his head, watching as Charles disappeared below a door that said, STAFF ONLY. Turning his attentions back to Jack, John asked him a question. 'He's new around here?'

'Yeah, the old owner left the place to him in his will, Charles Grigg. I was relieved Mr Carson kept me on.' Jack's tone became quieter as he leant closer to John. 'Mr Carson and Mr Grigg used to play the clubs across the north of the country together in the sixties. They went their separate ways and Mr Carson ran a hotel for the most part, Mr Grigg opened this place. They didn't speak to each other for years until Mr Grigg found out he was ill. He wanted to leave this place in safe hands, and he said he knew none safer than Mr Carson's. And here we are.'

'Mr Bates, if you'll come through now.'

Looking to the door, John nodded in the direction of Charles before smiling at Jack. 'Good luck.'

Once in the office, John found it to be immaculate. Charles indicated where he would like John to sit, the latter obliging before looking around the walls at pictures of legends such as The Beach Boys, Rolling Stones and the like. This really was such a cool place to be in. Looking at the desk, John noticed a fairly recent picture of Mr Carson and a woman, seemingly on their wedding day.

'Is that your wife?' John asked, pointing at the picture.

'Elsie, yes. We got married last September. Finally.'

John chuckled at his words. 'You both look very happy together.'

'Yes, well,' Charles cleared his throat. 'Back to the matter in hand. May I ask why you are leaving your current job as a bouncer?'

He thought for a moment. Because Thomas was a cretin? Because if he had to clear up sick from the club entrance one more time he might actually commit a felony? 'The main reason is I want to work during the day again. My girlfriend is pregnant with our first child and I want my hours to be, more sociable, shall we say.'

'Well, congratulations. Have you been together long?'

John shifted in his seat, before replying awkwardly, 'long enough.'

Thankfully, Charles didn't continue with his line of questioning as he read through John's application. He was silent, but nodding his head every now and then, making agreeable noises before lifting his head to meet John's gaze. 'You were in the army?'

'For fifteen years,' John confirmed, 'made my way up to major. Some of the best days of my life, and possibly the worst.'

'I bet,' Charles cleared his throat. 'You play guitar, drums and piano I see here.'

'Yeah, I busk on the South Bank most mornings,' John explained, smiling as he thought of Anna walking past him. 'That was how I met my girlfriend actually.'

'What do you sing?'

'Everything and anything. If I like a song, then I'll play it. I don't have a particular type of music. What's the point in narrowing your interests on one particular genre when there is so much music out there to discover? One morning I played Beyonce, then Queen before finishing with Bruno Mars. I just love music.'

'So I can see,' Charles replied with a smile. 'We have a stage here, local acts perform here a few evenings a week. Would you be interested…'

'Yeah, I'd love to work those evenings. I love live music.'

'No, I meant would you be interested in playing? Once I've heard a demo disc, of course.'

'Me?' John could hardly believe what he was hearing. A proper stage to perform on, for people to actually stop and listen rather than just pass him by. It was everything he had ever dreamed of. 'I'd love that.'

'Well, I think you have the experience and the enthusiasm for the role,' Charles reasoned, clasping his hands together on his desk. 'It's just the formalities of till training and understanding our policies and procedures. Normal admin stuff, but I'm sure that won't be a problem.'

'Not at all,' John answered eagerly, 'I'm a quick learner.'

'Well then, I'd like to offer you the job.'

'Fantastic,' John beamed. 'I am thrilled to accept.'

* * *

They sat in silence in the waiting room, John clutching Anna's hand in his. The date of their twelve week scan had arrived, Anna feeling nervous despite being told at the eight week scan everything was progressing well. They watched as couple after couple left the room beaming as they studied the scan photographs of their babies.

'I can't wait to see Peanut again,' John whispered to Anna before kissing her on the cheek.

'Me either,' Anna replied with a touch of hesitancy. John could sense this, letting go of Anna's hand and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.

'What's up?'

'I don't know,' Anna shrugged, looking up to John and smiling weakly. 'I guess it's because I don't feel anything different, other than the sickness and the mood swings. It makes me doubt if there is a baby growing inside me.'

'But Anna, we saw him or her on the screen a few weeks ago.'

'I know, and I know I'm being irrational but what if it was a false alarm, what if what the doctor had told me all those years ago was indeed true?'

He felt his heart constrict in his chest, that Anna still had her doubts after being told one of the most heartbreaking things a woman could be told. In that moment, John knew he had to reassure Anna, but before he had a chance to, the sonographer was calling them.

'Anna Smith.'

John allowed Anna to stand first, following behind as he gently grasped her hand. They walked into the room, and John watched as Anna did as she was instructed. As soon as she was settled, she was reaching out for him. John smiled warmly, sitting beside the bed and taking Anna's hand into his once more.

'I'm Doctor Blackstock, nice to meet you both. Now mum, this will be quite cold on your belly,' she explained as she spread the gel on Anna's stomach. 'You had an eight week scan?'

'Yeah,' Anna replied, 'because of my history the midwife thought it best.'

'Of course, I've read your notes.' Doctor Blackstock offered Anna an understanding smile.

In the next moment, the screen almost lit up. John's eyes were drawn to the monitor automatically, smiling as he recognised where Peanut was before the doctor could point them out. 'Now, there is baby and they are developing beautifully, right on schedule for twelve weeks.'

'Really?' Anna asked, John believed in relief more than curiosity.

'There's our peanut,' John was saying next, tightening his grip on Anna's hand. Suddenly, they could hear the heartbeat, and John couldn't help but avert his eyes from the screen to look at Anna, desperately trying to stifle a sob. 'Are you alright?'

The only motion Anna could manage was a nod of the head, as she listening to Doctor Blackstock explaining about the babies size. She also revealed the due date to be late November, the baby would be gracing their lives before the year was through.

'So everything is alright?' Anna asked, wanting clarification to cure her nagging doubts, John presumed. 'After what happened, I just can't believe it.'

'Anna, everything is perfect with your baby. But, if you have any questions just get in touch with your midwife. They are there to help.'

'Thank you.' Anna murmured, then she was looking at John and the smile on her face almost took his breath away. That she had been so worried broke his heart, he wished she had voiced her fears sooner than today. 'Happy?'

How she could think he was anything but after seeing their baby on the screen and her anxiety all but disappear was beyond him but he answered her anyway. 'Yes my darling, I am over the moon.'

'Okay Anna, we're all done here,' the doctor said as she filled in the correct information in Anna's pregnancy record. 'Would you like a picture of the little one?'

'Yes please,' John replied, winking at Anna as she continued to smile at him.

'I'm sorry about earlier…'

'Ssssh,' John hushed her as the doctor moved away from the bed to print them a picture. 'You never have to apologise to me for voicing your fears. I completely understand where you are coming from. It's a bit hard to believe to look at you, but we've seen the proof. Peanut is very much real and developing beautifully. And as the weeks go on,' John was grinning like a fool now, as he imagined how Anna's body would change over the next few months, 'you'll begin to show and you'll feel the baby move.'

'Yeah, it's all big tummy's and swollen ankles from here on in,' Anna laughed, sitting up on the bed.

'And you'd have never looked more breathtakingly beautiful my love,' John whispered before ghosting his lips across Anna's knuckles. 'My whole world.'


	17. Chapter 17

**A/n- A lighter chapter, until you get to the end that is. I have labelled this story 'Busker John' and have been thinking about a 'Busker John Playlist.' That sounds pretty cool, right? Or perhaps not. **

**Thanks for the reviews and follows. **

**Disclaimer-** Nope, I still don't own Downton. Try me again next time.

* * *

Sitting on the edge of the armchair, John looked at his watch before releasing a sigh. They were meant to have been at Robert's for a barbecue nearly twenty minutes ago, but he supposed he would cut the mother of his child a little slack.

Since the three month scan a few weeks ago, it had all been go in both their lives. John had begun working at Cheerful Charlie's, settling in well and picking up the ropes relatively quickly. It had taken a little while to adjust to working during the day, but it had been nice to fall into the routine of being able to walk Anna home three nights a week, when he wasn't working the later shift at the shop.

Home. His apartment belonged to the both of them now. They had decided whilst on the way home from the scan. This was really happening, they were to become parents. It made sense. Anna was safe in the knowledge John was committed to her and 'Peanut,' and John was certain Anna was the one. Living together was a small decision to make considering what was to grace their lives before Christmas, sure to turn both their world's upside down.

John had agreed to downsize his studio, to make room for a nursery. He had admitted to Anna the place had been a three bed, having knocked down a wall to make his 'sanctuary' almost as soon as he had moved in. It was small price to pay. Anna's mark had already been made on the place as John looked around, noticing her robe on the back of the sofa, and just a small selection of her shoes on the rack by the door. John had always liked his apartment, but he had never really considered it home until Anna moved in. It was simply better with her there. Life was better.

'Right, be honest with me.' John looked to the bedroom door having heard her voice, yet she hadn't appeared yet. He stood up, putting his hands in his pockets and smiling slightly. 'If I look absolutely hideous then please be honest with me.'

'Anna, you could never…'

'Tell me honestly,' she interrupted, John doing his best to stifle a laugh at her stubbornness.

'Alright, I will.'

She walked out of the room then, dressed in a light blue knee length dress and white cardigan. John couldn't fathom how she believed for one second she didn't look anything but simply flawless. She was beginning to show now, being almost six months gone and John had decided he had never seen a more breathtaking sight in all his life.

'You look stunning.' He took a few steps towards her, eyeing her from head to toe.

'I look fat,' Anna replied with a frown, looking down at her appearance. 'How you can find me attractive like this is beyond me.' Letting a disbelieving laugh leave him, John took hold of Anna's hand and encouraged her to twirl. 'Great, now you'll see how big my behind is getting, too.'

'Anna, you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.'

'It's alright for you men,' Anna continued seemingly disregarding his compliment, taking her hand from his grasp and walking to stand in front of the mirror above the mantel piece. She ran a hand through her hair as she studied her reflection. 'All you have to do is shove on a smart white shirt and a pair of chinos and you look amazing, I spend two hours getting ready and still look like a frump.'

'You really think I look amazing?' John asked, a laugh in his voice and a sarcastic lilt to his tone. Anna shot him a exasperated look over her shoulder, rolling her eyes. 'Are we ready to go?'

'As I'll ever be, I suppose.'

'Don't sound too thrilled about it,' John said as he picked up his guitar case and placed his keys in his pocket.

'Sitting around with Mary and Sybil who are absolutely stunning whilst I sit there looking like a beached whale. I can hardly wait.'

'Anna,' John took a firm grip of her hand then, pulling her closer to him. He moved his hand to her waist, holding her body against his. In the next moment, he was kissing her soundly on the mouth, feeling her acquiesce with each passing moment. As the kiss slowly petered out, John moved his head back to see Anna's eyes closed, her mouth slightly open. Smiling upon the vision of her standing before him, John rested his forehead against Anna's. 'To me, you will always be the most beautiful woman in any room, or any garden for the sake of tonight, that you are in.'

Giggling at his words, Anna placed a hand on his neck. 'Mr Bates, I do believe you have stolen some Elbow lyrics there.'

'Damn, you caught me. I thought I might get away with that.'

'No, some of your musical tastes have sunk in. Weller is my ring tone, now.'

* * *

'Everybody.'

'Yeahhhh.'

'Shake your body right. Backstreets Back…'

'Alright.'

'And that is the last time I will ever sing that,' John said as soon as he had finished the last note, despite the audience's rather enthusiastic participation. 'Don't let Sybil choose anymore.'

Anna felt better now she was at the barbecue. With her body changing every day, she was becoming more self conscious with what she wore and where she went. However, it was John's sincere words which gave her the confidence to face each day. Once they had arrived, everyone went out of their way to ask after Anna and that instantly made her feel better. She was getting to know the family more and more, and she was becoming to realise what wonderful people they were.

'Why doesn't Matthew pick a song?' John suggested, adjusting his guitar strings as he spoke. 'He usually picks what is more my bag.'

'Yeah, and none of the rest of us would have heard of it,' Mary replied, adjusting a wriggling George on her lap.

'Can I have a go on the guitar?' Tom asked as he reached for the instrument.

'No,' John replied, moving away from Tom slightly.

'John,' Anna nudged him in the side with her elbow, furrowing her brow slightly. 'Let Tom have a turn. Play fair.'

'I see your maternal side is already kicking in,' Cora remarked, Anna meeting her gaze and laughing. 'Tom can play, let him have a go, John.'

Anna watched as John resisted slightly before lifting the strap over his head. Hearing him sighing as he handed over his guitar, Anna gently rubbed the bottom of John's back. He met her gaze, smiling slightly as Tom strummed rather vigorously.

'Carefully,' John chided, causing those congregated to stifle their amusement. 'Don't want you breaking a string again.'

'That was one time,' Tom replied, rolling his eyes before almost dropping the guitar on the floor. He met John's gaze, who was looking none too impressed. 'Maybe I'll put the strap over my head.'

'Yes, I think that would be best,' John advised.

'What are you going to play for us, Tom?' Robert asked, joining the group after having cleared away the barbecue.

'How about some Green Day?'

'Aces,' Matthew exclaimed.

'Yuk,' Mary groaned, standing up. 'I'm going to load the dishwasher for Mum.'

'Brown nose,' Sybil quipped, Anna amused by the words exchanged between the sisters reminding her of Jane suddenly. What took her by surprise was when Mary approached John with George outstretched in front of her.

'Hold the baby, John,' Mary said, John having no choice but to accept George into his arms. Anna was surprised to see him look quite comfortable holding George, despite what the expression on his face was telling the outside world.

'His Dad is over there, as well as he Aunty and grandparents, and yet you give the poor little mite to me.'

'Well, you'll be needing practice, won't you?'

With those words, Mary made her way inside, Sybil decided to follow and assist her. George seemed quite content to sit in John's arms as he waited for Tom to decide what he wanted to sing.

'Green Day is a bit blah,' Tom argued with Matthew as he continued to strum on the guitar. 'How about something cool and old school?'

'Chris De Burgh?' Robert suggested, earning groans from those gathered.

'Lady In Red is a classic and I won't have anyone say otherwise.'

'What would you like to hear, George?' John whispered to the baby, Anna unable to stop the grin that was spreading across her face. 'What's that George? Bill Withers? Perfect choice, young man. The lad has spoken, Uncle Tom. Ain't No Sunshine.'

'Well you can sing it then,' Tom said as he shifted in his seat. 'I can't do the middle bit.'

'Very well,' John said with a sigh, looking to Anna before offering her a wink. His way of letting her know this one was for her.

'After three,' Tom instructed, 'a one, two, three.'

'_Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, it's not warm when she's away, ain't no sunshine when she's gone and she's always too long…'_

John gestured for this gathered to join in, Matthew and Robert obliging. _'Any time she goes away.' _

'Perfect, the two of you can be my back up singers any time.'

'Yeah, if you want the audience to leave,' Cora joked before John launched into the second verse.

As he sang, Anna couldn't help how George seemed somewhat transfixed by John. He was staring up at him, his blue eyes big and bold. Her thoughts drifted towards when Peanut would be here, and John singing to him or her. It was one of things she was most looking forward to about becoming a mother. To see her baby and John, the two most important things in the world to her, interacting and forming a relationship.

'If he gets this bit in one I'll give you a tenner,' Matthew said, pointing at Tom as John reached the middle part of the song.

'He'll get it,' Tom winked.

'_And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know…' _

'The bloke is amazing,' Matthew enthused as John continued with the repetitive lyrics, seemingly singing them with ease. Anna was most impressed as he reached the end, singing the next line without hardly taking a breath at all.

'_I know, hey I ought to leave the young thing alone, but ain't no sunshine when she's gone.' _

Anna's attention was grabbed by Matthew as he rose to his feet, applauding as John sang the lyrics to their end. Robert and Cora looked on amusingly as Matthew screwed up and threw a ten pound note in Tom's direction.

'Get the man a drink, Mary,' Matthew instructed his wife, who simply ignored her husband's request, taking George from John instead.

'That really suited you, you know,' Anna whispered so only John could hear. 'Holding George just then.'

'Really?' John creased his brow as a smile overtook his face. 'He's a cute kid, which is a miracle considering he belongs to Mary.' Anna laughed at that, sub consciously taking John's hand. 'Besides, we'll be having a girl.'

'How can you be so sure, John?' Anna asked, leaning in closer to him.

'I just know,' John shrugged, 'plus I've been looking, Girls clothes are cuter than the boys, Peanut has to be a girl. Miss Peanut.'

'And if Miss Peanut is a Master?'

'Then, lets hope he suits little frilly dresses with sparkly shoes.'

'God, what have you done to my best mate?' Robert groaned, offering to fill John's glass with Coke. John held his glass up, making the task easier.

'What are we having next then?' Sybil asked, rejoining the group by Tom's side.

'What about a song Dad and John used to sing in their army days,' Mary suggested as she rocked George in her arms, 'they are usually entertaining.'

'Oh, I haven't drunk enough yet,' Robert shook his head.

'Come on, Dad,' Sybil gently encouraged.

'Alright then.' Robert was on his feet then, seemingly not needed that much encouragement. John took his guitar from Tom before joining Robert. They began to whisper furiously between each other, Robert even stamping his foot in frustration at one point. He really took these things seriously, Anna thought to herself.

'How are you feeling then, Anna?' Cora asked, taking the seat John had vacated next to her. 'Over the initial shock now?'

'Yeah,' Anna said with an awkward laugh. She had always liked Cora, been in awe of her in fact. To captain a ship that included Robert and Mary took some doing. 'Just can't believe how much my life has changed in a matter of months.'

'He's a great guy, John,' Cora said, looking at the man in question and her husband. 'You make him so happy, and that's no more than he deserves. I think becoming a father will be the making of him.'

Suddenly, the two men set to perform turned around. Silence fell amongst those gathered in the garden, all eyes on Robert and John.

'So what have you got for us?' Mary asked impatiently, bouncing George up and down on her knee. 'We're dying with anticipation.'

'In Bosnia, we were fooling around one night and changed the lyrics to a certain Gene Pitney song,' Robert explained, looking to John. 'And even though the song is about cheating on the one you love, we thought we were being witty by changing one word in the chorus to Cora.'

'God, when you too try to be witty it usually is anything but,' Mary remarked, rolling her eyes in Anna's direction.

'That being said,' Robert continued, clearing his throat at being knocked off his stride. 'From that moment on it reminded me of your mother, especially when I was away for up to six months at a time.'

Anna had never considered that side of army life before. Being away from your family for months. Back then, John had his mother, and of course Vera at home waiting for him. Did he long for her like Robert was saying he longed for Cora? She didn't like the thought of that. She knew she was being irrational, back then neither had any idea the other existed. Now she knew John was hers, but to know he might have missed or pined for another woman at one point in her life made her insanely jealous, a woman who also had John's name. Anna's thoughts were interrupted by Robert's baritone filling the air.

'_Dearest Darling, I had to write to say I won't be home anymore…' _

'Oh God,' Sybil groaned.

'Ah, tune,' Tom sat forward in his chair, tapping his foot along in time with the strum of John's guitar.

'_For something happened while I was driving home and I'm not the same anymore…' _John began to join in as Robert reached the chorus of the song_. 'Oh, I was only twenty four hours from Coooorrraaaa.' _

Laughter escaped those gathered as the two men over dramatised their performance, the genuine friendship between them clear to see as they sang the song as if they had performed it a million times before. But Anna was finding she could only focus on thoughts of John in the army, a soldier with a wife back home. It had never bothered her like this before. She had known John had been married, Anna understood it wasn't the best time of John's life but he must have felt something for her at one time or another to ask the woman to be his wife. Anna couldn't put her finger on why it was consuming her so much. Perhaps it was Robert's words about missing Cora, perhaps it was the emotions caused by her pregnancy.

'That was brilliant,' Tom said, applauding the two men once they had finished.

'You need to get out more,' Sybil advised her boyfriend.

* * *

As he lay in bed, waiting for Anna to finish in the shower, John searched his mind for a reason why Anna would have been so quiet on the way back from Robert's place. It had been since they had sung their duet, but John couldn't think of anything that had been said or if he had done anything wrong. Maybe she was just tired.

Sounds of her entering the room caught his attention, John looking to the door to see her already ready for bed, her towel draped over her arm. The swell of her stomach which was a sight John had already decided he would never get tired at the sight of, was clearly visible in her pyjamas.

'Did you enjoy your evening in the end?' John asked, peeling back the cover on Anna's side of the bed.

'Yeah,' Anna replied, smiling weakly as she placed her towel in the washing basket. 'It was nice.'

'Only nice?' John continued with his line of questioning as Anna climbed into bed beside him. 'Are you alright?'

'Did you have a song that you sang in Bosnia that reminded you of Vera?'

Well, that question had come completely from the left field. 'Err, I don't remember.' His tone turned slightly more good-humoured, trying to lighten the mood. '_Devil Woman_, perhaps.'

'It must have been hard to be away from your wife, for six months at a time.'

An expression of confusion spread across John's face, leaning up on his elbow so he could look into Anna's face as she lay on her back. 'Where's all this come from, Anna?'

'When Robert said how much he missed Cora, all I could suddenly think about how at one time or another, you must have missed Vera. And I'm ashamed to admit it, I'm jealous. Because she was your wife, you married her and you must have felt something for her at one time or another to ask her to marry you? She was your wife, and you say you feel all these things for me but won't ask me to marry you.'

'Anna, I have said from when we found out about Peanut I will ask you to marry me, if it's what you want.'

'But I want it to be what you want. I want you to want me to be your wife.'

John didn't know what to say, he had believed Anna was content with what they had decided on the topic of marriage and with where they were heading in their life together. 'Anna, I want you. For the rest of my life. Isn't that enough?' She remained silent, John releasing a shaky breath before moving closer to her, placing his hand on her stomach. 'This, what we have, is what I have been dreaming of. To know someone like you, to love someone like you is the reason why I get out of bed in the morning, the reason why I do anything. I was an empty shell before you began to walk past me at Waterloo all those months ago. Then I saw you and suddenly I began to feel again.'

'John, you don't have to do this…' Anna tried to interrupt, but her attempts were fruitless.

'I married Vera because I felt it was the right thing to do. When we first met, yes there was something there and we acted impulsively upon an attraction, it was never any more than that. I was never in love with her. The marriage was over long before I went to Bosnia. She had cheated on me from the start.'

'So why did you stick it out?'

'My family were catholic, divorce was simply not an option. Until I found out about her infidelity and it left me with no choice. Marriage didn't mean a thing to her, and therefore became meaningless to me.'

'I would never cheat on you, John.'

'God Anna, don't you think I know that,' John breathed, choosing to press his lips lightly to Anna's. As he lifted his head away, Anna was staring straight at him, her eyes displaying unshed tears.

'Then why don't you want to marry me?'

John rolled onto his back then, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'I love you with all my heart and soul, is that not enough?'

'Of course it is,' Anna replied after a few moments, stroking his arm although her voice wasn't at all convincing. 'I'm being silly, blame the pregnancy hormones. Good night.'

'Can I hold you? Hold you both?' John rolled over, placing his arm over her waist. She didn't push him away but she didn't reply to his words either. Something told John, this matter wasn't settled.

* * *

**A/N 2- Angst ahoy...**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N- Wasn't expecting the last chapter to elicit such a response. I have read every review, I thank you for them and have taken every point made on board. However I would like to say I have had this story planned in it's entirety from the beginning. Little has yet been revealed about John's past and his marriage to Vera, but it unravels over the next few chapters. **

**Just as a side note, In the UK so long as the father is named on the birth certificate that gives him certain rights. **

**Disclaimer**\- Nothing belongs to me

A week had passed since Robert's barbecue, London being treated to a heat wave as the summer took hold. Anna had been distant, John just couldn't fathom it. He hadn't slept for days. He really believed that their life together was taking shape, progressing as they both wanted it to yet one remark from Robert had turned everything on it's head.

She had stopped initiating anything between them, and was reluctant if John asked to kiss her goodbye or hold her hand. One evening, she had even text him to say not to bother meeting her from work as she would rather walk on her own, which had really thrown him off course.

Parts of him, lots of him wanted to just book the wedding. But then the memories of the last years of his previous marriage filled his mind, and he just couldn't do it. The jibes about finding him crying after a flashback from his last mission, telling him what a lousy husband he was, that she should find a proper man worthy of her.

John's ex wife's words had struck a chord with him. If he wasn't worthy of Vera, he sure as hell wasn't worthy enough of Anna. Why tie her down when if they stayed unmarried she could walk away whenever she wanted?

Why did people need to be married in this day and age anyway, child or not? When he married Vera his father had still been around, he was the main influence on John's life up until he had died. And his mother's as well. Woe betide anyone who went against his wishes. If he were alive today, John's having a child out of wedlock would have resulted in being disowned, he was sure of it.

But times had changed, John had changed. He had seen things that had altered his views on life, on the world in which he lived. Young men with years ahead of them having their lives snatched away, young children who would never know their fathers. How could God possibly exist when John had witnessed such things? How could bringing a child into a loving, committed environment that wasn't sealed with marriage be wrong?

A Saturday evening out together would have been the norm under any other circumstances but John was wary to suggest anything since he had arrived home from work. Anna had been on Skype to Jane when he came in, John deciding not to disrupt her even though he could hear the kids in the background asking to speak to him. He waited in the bedroom, rearranging some CD's before he heard the television being switched on. Giving Anna some more time, John took a deep breath before walking into the living room.

She didn't even look up, seemingly transfixed on the screen as John closed the bedroom door behind him. He was going to have to say something, he couldn't bear the atmosphere. It wasn't them and it had gone on for far too long. Anna was reclined on the sofa, John sure she was pretending to be more interested in the television than she actually was.

'Room on the end for me?' John asked, pointing to the end of the sofa where Anna's feet lay.

'What's wrong with the armchair?' was her response, John's heart sinking upon hearing it. Without another word, he moved towards his chair, sinking down into it with a sigh before resting his head in his hands, leaning his elbows on his knees. 'What's wrong?'

'Oh, I don't know Anna. Maybe it's the fact that the woman I love hasn't so much as looked at me in a week.'

'I'm tired, it's hot and I'm getting bigger every day and...'

'Anna,' John gave her a disbelieving look, shaking his head before reaching down to untie his shoe laces. 'It's the marriage thing and you know it is.'

'I just want to know why you don't want us to get married,' Anna replied, turning off the television and sitting up. 'I love you, you love me, I'm pregnant for heavens sake.'

'What did Jane have to say for herself?' John asked as he sat back in the arm chair, trying to change the subject.

'She and Phil want to bring the kids down to London for the weekend. I told her we were busy with your new job and everything...'

'The kids can come down, you know that Anna. I love spending time with them.'

'Well, they are leaving it until they break up for summer at school anyway.'

'Fine,' John huffed, folding his arms and remaining silent. They remained that way for a few seconds before Anna spoke with a tone John had never heard before.

'John, you still haven't answered my question.'

'Oh, for goodness sake Anna.'

John bit back, rising to his feet and stepping towards her. It wasn't until he had done it that John realised what such an imposing figure he must have seemed to her then, standing above her, not more than a few inches from where she was sitting.

Then the bottom of his world seemingly fell out as he saw Anna cowering, fear in her eyes. As soon as he looked at her, he was on his knees, trying to envelop her hands in his. But she quickly snatched them away, almost jumping to her feet.

Andrew. That was all he could think of. How he must have behaved towards Anna. It had never been John's intention to scare Anna, he just wanted to move closer to her, to try and explain his stance on their relationship once more.

'Anna,' he called after her but she didn't look back as she headed towards the bathroom. He closed his eyes as she locked the door, then the next sound he could hear was that of Anna's gentle sobbing.

'Shit,' John breathed, running a hand through his hair. 'Shit, shit, shit.' He stepped back from the door, looking to the ceiling before knocking on the door. 'Anna, I'm sorry I scared you. I'd never hurt you. Please open the door.'

'Leave me alone,' she shouted back before her cries intensified.

John had to do something, he couldn't leave Anna to cry in the bathroom all night. Noticing her phone on the coffee table, he moved to the sofa and flicked through her contacts. Finding the name he was looking for, he hit the call button. It connected after a couple of rings.

'Anna?'

'No Gwen, it's John. Do you think you could come over?'

'Of course,' Gwen answered without missing a beat, 'is everything alright?'

'We've had an argument,' John pinched the bridge of his nose, clearing his throat in an attempt to stifle his emotions. 'I think I've scared her and now she won't talk to me.'

'I'll be right there.' Gwen clicked off then, John pulling the phone from his ear before tapping it on his chin.

He'd let his temper, which had been an issue during his marriage, get the better of him, something he had promised himself he never would with Anna. And now he'd blown it.

She couldn't go out there. She knew John would never hurt her but seeing him with that look in his eye, even if it was for no more than a second had put the fear of God into her. All she could think about was him, Andrew, and the nights he had made her tremble with fear. It wasn't John's intention, he was probably moving to be near her like he usually did when he tried to reassure her. But still, it had shaken her.

Anna's looked up upon hearing the doorbell ring. Confused, she rose to her feet and walked towards the door. Relief rushed through her when she heard a familiar voice, a voice that had seen her through many a tough time in her life.

'Where is she?' Gwen asked, stepping inside and dropping her overnight bag by the door.

'The bathroom,' Anna heard John murmur. 'I've already called Robert. I'll go there. Perhaps she needs some time away from me.'

'I'm sure everything will be right as rain in the morning, you'll see.'

Opening the door, Anna stood half behind it still, looking at Gwen before meeting John's eye. 'You don't have to go to Robert's. I should go.'

'Maybe neither of you need to go,' Gwen suggested, reaching her hand out to Anna which her friend accepted. 'Talk about it, the two of you.'

'I think some space might do the both of us some good,' John said, Anna meeting his gaze. He offered her a weak smile before pointing towards the bedroom. 'I've packed some things, Rob is expecting me.'

'John, I...' Anna felt her voice falter. She didn't know what to say.

'You don't have to explain anything Anna, you never have to explain yourself to me.'

Anna watched as he walked towards the bedroom, reaching inside the door for his bag before striding back towards the two women. 'If you need me, just ring me.'

'I will,' Anna nodded. 'I'll call you.'

He looked to Gwen before leaving without another word. The door slamming behind him sent a shiver down Anna's spine. He was gone. She felt the tears engulf her once more as Gwen placed her arms around her.

'Come on, chick, lets put the kettle on then you can tell me what has been going on. You haven't seemed right for a few days.'

John stared at the pool table, not really into the game Robert had suggested but seemingly agreeing to it anyway. They hadn't really spoken about what had occurred, it wasn't their way together. Both just took it upon themselves to be there for the other when times got tough. But John was having a tough time thinking of little else but the way he made Anna feel earlier on, and about how much she wanted to get married.

'Shall we talk about this then, John?' Robert's voice made him look up from his position leaning his chin on the tip of his cue. 'It's just, I've been waiting for you to take your shot for a couple of minutes now.'

'Sorry,' John said, beginning to stand up before Robert sat beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder and encouraging him to remain seated. John released a shaky breath, realising he was going to have to speak. 'Anna is adamant that she wants us to marry. After something you said about missing Cora whilst in Bosnia last week. She is confused as to why I could feel so little for Vera yet marry her, yet claim to be so in love with her and not want to marry.'

'Well she has a point.' John looked at Robert as he made his opinion known. 'Anna is the best thing to ever happen to you, it's clear every time we see you together how good you are for one another. She is carrying your child. Although it's been mere months of course she is going to have thoughts of marriage.'

'I don't see why she needs a ring on her finger just because we are having a baby. It means nothing, I show her every day what she means to me. What about the stuff I went through with Vera?' John argued, flailing his hand to try and emphasise his point. 'She told me I wasn't a very good husband and she should find someone more worthy of her. If someone like her thought I wasn't good enough then I definitely won't be for Anna. I'm not sure I could go through all that again.'

'Does Anna know about the business with that woman you married?'

'She knows nothing.'

'Really?' Robert furrowed his brow, narrowing his gaze on John. 'And Bosnia, what happened there.'

'She knows something happened, after our visit to see the poppies at the tower, but she doesn't know everything.'

'So this woman you claim to feel so much for actually doesn't know much about you? Is it any wonder she is so confused?'

'I don't want to tell her anything that might alter...'

'Don't finish that sentence,' Robert interrupted, standing up once more and putting his cue on the table. 'I think you are selling Anna a bit short, John. I'm not convinced there is anything that could change the way she feels about you. Perhaps if you are honest with her, she might accept your reasons for not wanting to get married yet. Plus, you are forgetting one vital detail.'

'Which is?'

'Anna isn't Vera.' With those words, Robert made to leave the pool room but not before saying one more thing to John. 'Go to bed, get a good nights sleep. You know where the spare room is. You look like you haven't slept in days.'

She couldn't help but run her hand over the sheet where John should be laying, smoothing the creases he had made the night previously. Anna recognised his scent, half lying on his pillow. It seemed a cliché but the bed seemed massive without him there beside her. Even after everything that had gone before, she missed him. She loved him. In the aftermath of what had happened, she felt like she had acted irrationally but the bare bones of it all was that he wouldn't give her the one thing she really wanted. Perhaps a little time apart would give them some time to get things straight in each of their minds.

Reaching for her phone to check the time, she was surprised to see a message alert. It was John. Opening the message, she couldn't help but allow a sob to fall from her upon reading his words. No man had ever loved her in the way he did, only making her miss him more.

_'Just wanted to say once again how sorry I am, the last thing I would ever want to do is scare you, I realise how I must have appeared to you. I'll only come home when you want me to, don't rush. Make sure it is what you want before making any decisions. Goodnight Anna, and goodnight Peanut. I love you both so much, John (Daddy) x' _

Anna stared at the screen, committing every syllable, every letter to memory. She had waited all her life to feel this way about a man and here he was. She wanted marriage, that wasn't going to change but she had to reassure him her feelings for him were as strong as ever.

_'We both miss you and love you, I'll call you tomorrow x' _

A Sunday morning lie in before John had to go to work for eleven o clock open would have usually been the order of the day. However, as Anna woke up feeling alone in an empty bed, she didn't feel much like staying there. Walking into the living area of the apartment, Anna saw Gwen at the table having helped herself to some breakfast.

'I hope you didn't mind,' Gwen said upon noticing Anna walking towards her. 'I have an appointment with a client at half eleven.'

'Of course I don't mind,' Anna smiled, joining her friend at the table. 'Thanks for last night, Gwen. I was glad John thought to call you.'

'It was nothing,' Gwen replied before taking a sip of her juice. 'It will all sort itself out, I'm sure.' She rose to her feet, finishing her drink before placing the glass back down on the table. Taking her jacket from the back of her chair, Gwen slipped it on before continuing with what she was saying. 'There must be more to why he is so reluctant to marry. That's all.'

'Maybe,' Anna shrugged, reaching for a piece of toast then beginning to butter it. Gwen wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 'Will you be back later?'

'If you want me to be. I thought you might have been with John.' Anna didn't answer, choosing instead to pour herself some coffee. 'We'll leave it that I'll come back here later then, call me if anything changes.'

Gwen walked towards the door then, just as she was about to reach it the door bell rang. Anna stood up, watching as Gwen opened the door.

'Oh, hello. Is Anna here?'

'Robert,' Anna said, the confusion in her voice clearly audible.

'I'll leave you it,' Gwen said, looking back at Anna before moving past Robert.

'Can I come in?'

'Yes, of course,' Anna replied, moving towards Robert. She immediately tightened up her robe, suddenly feeling uneasy. 'Sorry, I've only just got up.'

'I can come back if it's a bad time,' Robert offered as Anna shut the door behind him.

'No, if I'm honest I'm intrigued as to why you are here. Is John alright?'

'Well, he's gone to work but I'm not sure he is alright. He feels terrible.'

'Oh,' Anna said weakly, gesturing towards the table. 'Can I offer you a drink?'

'A tea would be lovely.'

They moved in silence, Robert sitting at the table as Anna worked around him. A million thoughts were racing through Anna's mind. Why was John's best friend here, had he put Robert up to this?

'I'm sure you're wondering why I am here,' Robert said, trying to ease the tension that had befallen the room. Anna placed his tea in front of him.

'I was wondering, yes.' She sat down then, continuing to eat her piece of toast.

'You should understand that John never meant you any harm yesterday evening.'

'I know that.'

'He's told me about the,' Robert shifted in his seat a little before adding, 'disagreements you've been having about marriage.'

'Right,' Anna breathed. 'And I suppose he thinks I am being unreasonable.'

'That's just the thing Anna, you aren't being unreasonable and I told John as much.'

'I just don't get it, Robert. I know he had a bad time with Vera but that's it. He hasn't told me anything.'

'Towards the end of our service, the relationship John shared with Vera was irreparable. I even remember him telling me it was almost a relief to be away from her, as absurd as the notion might seem.'

'Which only adds to the confusion I have. He married her, when he didn't even want to be with her by the end of it all. Yet he tells me he loves me and wants to spend his life with me yet marriage is out of the question.'

'I don't know what to tell you, Anna,' Robert shook his head, picking up his tea and bringing it to his lips.

'Tell me what happened with Vera, that would be a start.'

'But it has to come from him,' Robert replied, 'it's not for me to say. All I know is that he loves you very much, and that he wants to open up to you. He just doesn't know how.' Looking at his watch, Robert finished his tea with a couple more sips before rising to his feet. 'I have to take Cora food shopping. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.'

'Thank you,' Anna smiled, stroking Robert's forearm.

'Talk to him,' Robert said, looking down at Anna. 'Things will become clearer, I promise. After last night he'll do anything to make this right.'

And with those words of advice, Robert left. Anna sat where she was for a moment, wondering what had occurred between John and Vera during their marriage. What had she done to make him so scared of making that commitment? And most importantly, why couldn't he realise Anna wasn't his ex wife?


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N- And the past is revealed. Thanks for all your reviews and follows. **

**Disclaimer-** Downton still isn't mine...

* * *

Time had passed and John still remained at Robert's, August and the height of summer arriving. He and Anna had spoken, albeit awkwardly, over the phone but neither had suggested meeting up to talk things through. It was breaking his heart to hear the sadness in her voice, knowing the one thing he could do to make it up to her was seemingly beyond him. Why couldn't he just get past this and give Anna what she wanted?

A walk along the South Bank after work, which seemed like a good idea when he had thought about it, wasn't really helping. He was just reminded of different events in their relationship, the South Bank was a special place to them. He remembered the reindeer antlers that Anna bought for him, dancing to the busker beneath the moonlit sky, the kiss beside the restaurant at Christmas, a kiss that convinced him in that moment there had never been a better woman than Anna, nor would there ever be. If he felt this way, why was he making things so difficult? Vera was gone, why was he allowing her to still haunt his present?

Stopping to sit by the river for a minute under the towering shadow of the London Eye, John happened upon an idea. Music had always been his escape, and although he didn't want to run away from his troubles, he wouldn't mind pushing them to the back of his mind for just a little bit. He noticed a performance spot outlined on the floor and rose to his feet. Taking his trusty guitar off his back, he began to unzip the case. Once his guitar was in hand, John placed the case in front of him before beginning to prepare himself.

He hadn't busked for a while. His new job meant he was usually at the shop before he would usually take his spot outside Waterloo. In addition to this fact, with Anna living with him now she didn't need to take public transport to work. With no beautiful blonde to sing to, the busking had lost it's edge somewhat. But in this moment, although he knew she was never going to walk past him now, all John wanted to do was sing for Anna.

He strummed the strings of his instrument once, twice then three times before the perfect song entered his mind. If he was a man, and John knew recently he was acting like a very poor excuse of one, he would be saying these words to Anna's face, rather than singing them to passing strangers. But at this moment in time it was all he could offer. As always, music was his means of communication.

'_This Romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood, it's nothing but some feelings that this old dog kicked up. It's been raining since you left me, now I'm drowning in the flood. See I've always been a fighter, but without you, I give up.' _

John sang, softly to begin with before his voice built up towards the chorus. His eyes were screwed shut, such was the emotion he was spilling into his performance. Thoughts full of Anna, all he could see was her face, all he could feel was despair that she wasn't by his side. John liked this song, but the words had never had any meaning to him until now. He had never been one to let his emotions get the better of him, especially in public but John was helpless to stop the solitary tear that fell down his cheek. This hurt.

'_And I will love you, baby. Always. And I'll be there forever and a day, always.' _

Unable to sing anymore, John opened his eyes to see a smattering of people standing before him, watching his performance. Looking to his case, he saw what amounted to around ten pounds in loose change. So lost in the music he had forgotten where he was, what he was doing and was shocked to see bystanders had stopped to listen to him.

Clearing his throat, John pretended to tune his guitar as those gathered continued on their way. All except one slightly older lady, who had hung back. John was trying to avoid making eye contact with her, feeling unable to form anything coherent at this particular moment although as she moved nearer, if he didn't want to sound rude he wasn't going to have any choice.

'Hang in there, my darling,' she said in a thick cockney accent. 'She'll come to her senses, just you see.'

Slightly confused, John looked to his left, then his right for any signs of anyone he knew who might have put the woman up to this. 'I'm sorry?'

'There's no way you could be singing that song and not be thinking about someone, I saw the tear.'

Feeling embarrassed someone had noticed, John shifted uncomfortably on his feet, willing the woman to move on. But she wasn't, and John was realising he was going to have to say something. His voice was barely a whisper as he spoke.

'You see, it's not her. It's all my fault. I can't give her what she wants. Not yet, anyway.'

'I've no doubt it's your fault,' the woman replied matter-of-factly, causing a small smirk to pass upon John's lips. 'You are a man.'

'Indeed,' John sighed as he raised his eyebrows.

'Just think on this. Is the thing that is keeping you apart more important than you staying together? Because I bet if you think on that, you'll find it most probably isn't.'

Staring at the woman who was smiling having handed over her pearl of wisdom, suddenly, something clicked for John. _She's right_, John thought to himself as the woman walked on. And he was sure Anna would agree if he spoke to her about it. Did John really have it in him to forever deny Anna the one thing she wanted from him? No, he did not. He thought about all the things a wife should be, what he would expect the woman he called his wife to be like, and Anna was all of those things. Loving, caring, intelligent, beautiful. She completed him. His other half, John was sure that was what she was because being without her had left him feeling numb, cold, lost.

He just couldn't do it yet. The feelings from his last marriage were just too raw. But looking to the future, perhaps it could happen. Maybe if John could convince Anna that one day she would be his wife, that he _wanted _her to be his wife, just not right now, that would be enough. At the end of the day, they had only been together for eight months. If there were no Peanut, would marriage have even been considered yet? John laughed at that notion. Probably. He and Anna shared this deep connection that went beyond anything either of them had ever experienced. It was John, and his mistakes in the past that were to blame for his reluctance to move their relationship forward. Anna held no blame whatsoever. It was all him. But what they had built together was surely worth more than letting his doubts break them. Would Anna really end this if marriage was off the cards, albeit for the time being?

One thing was for sure, John needed to tell Anna everything. He owed her that much, at least.

* * *

Sitting in her kitchen as his mum potted about him, John was trying to figure out a way to tell her what had happened between him and Anna. They hadn't spoken since he had left, and John didn't know how to broach the subject. He had heard enough about the neighbours new fence being too high when he suddenly blurted out what had happened.

'I've moved out of the flat, mum,' John admitted, slowly lifting his head to meet his mother's gaze. 'At the weekend.'

'What on earth for?' Helen sunk down into the chair opposite him, waiting for an explanation.

'She wants to get married Mum and I can't. Not yet.'

Helen nodded in understanding as a silence fell between them. Without another word, Helen rose to her feet and continued to make the tea. Her voice made John jump when she spoke again, such was the quiet that had befallen the room.

'Is this to do with what that shrew of an ex wife did to you?'

'Probably. I don't know,' Helen looked over her shoulder at her son, he knew if he couldn't lie to anyone, it was his mother. 'Yes.'

'Look John, I know exactly where you are coming from,' Helen explained as she placed his tea in front of him. John immediately wrapped his hands around the warm mug. 'What Vera did, it was unforgivable. I was affected too if you remember.'

'I will never forgive myself for that, Mum. You know that.'

'Hush now, it isn't your fault what happened between me and Vera. I told you that then and I still mean it now.' Helen stopped to take a sip of her drink as John inhaled deeply. Involving his mother was indeed the final straw. 'But is it fair to make Anna suffer? She isn't Vera.'

John lifted the cup to his lips and took a sip. 'Marriage has lost it's meaning to me.'

'Oh son, after what you've been through no one would blame you for feeling like that.'

'But that's not Anna's fault, is it?' John continued, meeting his mother's gaze once more. 'She hasn't experienced a terrible marriage. All she knows is that she loves me and wants to spend her life with me. At least, I hope she still feels that way.'

'Of course she does, my darling,' Helen offered sympathetically, reaching across the table to rest her hand on John's. He chuckled a little, clasping his fingers around hers.

'What is about a mother that whenever you mess up, they still always see the good in you.'

Helen didn't answer, choosing instead to move closer to her son. Their hands still joined, John knew he was about to get some words of advice . 'If I'm honest, especially with the baby on the way, I'd rather see you married. God knows, so would your father if he was here. But circumstances, events have seen to it that your view of marriage is tainted.' John nodded in agreement but allowed his mother to continue. 'But just think of all you have shared with that beautiful girlfriend of yours. All you have given each other. Isn't that enough to make you see that this time, with Anna, things will be different?'

'I told Anna I've shared a thousand things with her I never once shared with Vera.'

'Well then?' Helen gently encouraged, buoyed by the smile that had formed on her son's lips. 'Don't ask her to marry you yet if that's what you want, but at least tell her the reasons why. Don't sugar coat it. She deserves to know and you might just find if you tell her, she'll understand. And leave her in no doubt that in the future, you do see her as your wife. Because be honest with yourself, my boy. If you search deep enough, you do. And I am sure when the baby arrives, it's not only Anna who will want you to all have the same surname.'

John thought about what his mother had just said, then back to the advice of the woman on the South Bank. A life without Anna didn't even bear thinking about. How could that be preferable to a life married to her? It had no logical reasoning. Anna wasn't Vera. Robert had told him, his mother had told him and now it was time for John to start believing it himself. Things weren't going to go that way. Anna loved him more than Vera ever did. It was clear in things she did every day. The way she held his hand, the way she looked at him, the times when they were alone together. There were no personal agendas, no trying to get one up on each other. It was just the two of them, wanting to be with each other.

'I really wish I didn't have to go to work,' John sighed, looking at the clock. 'I need to see her.'

'Go and work your shift, then as soon as you are finished go home. Talk to her.'

'I will, thanks Mum.'

* * *

Anna was sure he was working the later shift as she turned down Carnaby Street on which the Cheerful Charlie's music shop was situated. Looking into the distance, she was relieved to see John standing beside the entrance to the shop, turning the key that closed the shutter. Treading the pavement towards him, her heart was thumping in her chest, like a caged rabbit trying to escape.

'_Get a grip of yourself,' _she whispered harshly to herself. _'It's just John.' _

It was that afternoon at work that Anna had decided she would come over this evening and meet John. She missed him, pure and simple and being apart from him just wasn't doing her any good. She needed him, wanted him to come back home regardless of anything that had happened before. Anna stood a few feet away, waiting as John made sure the shop was secure. Once he had completed his task, John turned on his heel. Then their eyes met.

Anna couldn't explain it, the sensations rushing through her as John regarded her with a stunned expression. In that moment, all that she could think about was how much she had missed the man standing before her, how despite it all she was so deeply in love with him nothing else mattered but having him close. Closing the gap between them, it was as if Anna wasn't in control of her body as she reached up on tiptoes, steadied herself by resting her hands on his shoulders before placing her lips upon his. The kiss was gentle, Anna felt her heart leap when John responded, placing an arm around her back to steady her.

'I was going to come home tonight,' John whispered, both his arms now holding Anna tightly to him, although conscious of the swell of Anna's stomach between them, as they stared at one another. 'I have so much I need to tell you.'

Anna couldn't help the tears that stung her eyes, hearing his voice and having him hold her rendering her completely helpless. Like he had done on so many occasions previously. 'I miss you.'

'Christ Anna, I miss you too. So much. I've been a classic fool.'

'Sssh,' Anna hushed him with a finger to his lips. 'Why don't we take a walk?'

John seemed to like her idea, the smile that she simply adored now lighting up his features. 'I'd love that.'

They always seemed to gravitate towards the South Bank. Anna didn't know why but this place seemed to hold some special meaning for them. They walked hand in hand, although neither had said much. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was never awkward between them. However, Anna could sense John had something to say but she wasn't going to rush him, she would give him her time just like he had given her his.

It surprised Anna to notice they had walked as far as the Tower Of London.. He had broken down, in her arms the last time they were here and Anna silently wondered if he might like to turn back. Looking up at him, she noted he was staring at the tower across the river. He met her gaze then, offering her a weak smile.

'We can go back, if you like.'

John shook his head no before pointing across the river. 'See those benches?'

'I do.'

'Lets grab a coffee then take a seat. It's time you knew something about me.'

'John, you really don't have to.'

'I want to,' John insisted. 'I need to. Then some things about me might become clearer.'

Once over the other side of the river, Anna felt a little shy in asking John if he had some spare change for her to use the ladies. It seemed with Peanut hearing Daddy's voice once more had made them a little excited, or that was what Anna had chosen to think.

'Peanut hasn't moved as much recently,' Anna shrugged as she accepted a fifty pence piece from John for the toilet. He grinned at her words, averting his eyes from hers to the swell of her stomach.

After Anna had finished, they bought a coffee from Starbucks before walking past the tower down to one of the benches that sat beside the river. Tower Bridge was the backdrop, and suddenly Anna was taken back to their afternoon at the Poppies, when she held John.

'I realised then that I was in love with you,' Anna admitted, smiling at John. 'I wanted nothing more than to make the pain go away.'

'Oh believe me, ever since the first time I saw you slowly but surely you have been making any pain I have ever felt disappear.'

'What happened John?' Anna asked, seeing his admission as the green light to start the conversation about Vera. 'I just want to understand why you feel the way you feel.'

John nodded as she spoke, looking beyond her over the river. 'I should have told you already. It was wrong of me not to talk to you about it before. You were honest with me from the start.'

'Well, I'm listening now,' Anna replied, taking the hand that wasn't holding his drink in hers. 'I've got all night.'

He brought his gaze back to focus on her face, smirking slightly as their eyes made contact. 'I do love you. You know that, don't you?'

'I love you too.' Anna moved a little closer to him. 'I want to be here for you.'

John sighed. 'I best start from the beginning then, eh?'

'Well, I've always been told it's a very good place to start.'

'Bosnia,' John blurted out, looking down at their entwined hands. 'My last deployment. I was going to leave the army afterwards and try to make my marriage succeed. It was breaking my Mum's heart to see it crumbling, before my Dad died he asked me to promise to try and make it work.' He released a laugh then, lifting his head to look at Anna. 'I wanted to make it work for my parents, rather than myself. I should have realised then it was a lost cause.' He felt his heart twinge upon seeing Anna's understanding smile. 'Anyway, I had reached the last week of my deployment when we were sent out on a mission. Pretty routine stuff. I won't go into the ins and outs of it, but we lost three men and my knee was shattered. You've noticed the scar on my right leg?'

'I have,' Anna replied.

'I was on crutches for months, my whole knee needed rebuilding. I was lucky to still have a leg at the end of it.'

'Wow John, I had no idea.'

'I came home, hoping Vera would be the doting wife,' Anna noticed John couldn't look at her as he said the next part, looking to the floor as he spoke. 'I knew she had been cheating on me whenever I was away with the army. People had told me, seen her sneaking men onto the barracks. Granted, I was committed to my career and not the most brilliant husband, but I loved her.' He cocked his head, 'or thought I did. I most certainly never cheated on her.'

'Oh John…'

'I came home, my leg heavily strapped to find her in bed with my sergeant. Richard Carlisle. See, I thought I'd surprise her by coming home without telling her.'

'And you didn't leave her there and then?'

John shook his head. 'I just couldn't break that promise to my Dad. She promised she'd end it but I knew it carried on. It was at that time the taunts began. How I wasn't worthy of her, how with my knee in the condition it was I was no good to anyone, let alone being able to satisfy her a man should be able to his wife. She was a woman with needs.'

'John, that's awful,' Anna murmured, stroking the top of his arm.

'She made me feel worthless,' John carried on, still staring straight ahead of him. It broke her heart to hear his revelation. How anyone could make someone as wonderful as him feel like this was beyond her reasoning. 'Every day would be a new barrage of insults so I turned to the drink.'

'Which is why you don't drink much anymore,' Anna said aloud as the pieces were beginning to fall into place.

'One day I could take no more so made plans to move in with my Mum. I went to her house with a bag and if I had arrived a few minutes later God knows what would have happened.'

'What do you mean?' Anna furrowed her brow, John meeting her eye for a split second before staring ahead again.

'She had my mum, a woman in her seventies at the time, held up against the wall by her throat. Apparently she was threatening her, telling Mum if I didn't go back to her she wouldn't be responsible for her actions. Turns out Vera would have nothing if we broke up, and she couldn't bear the thought of that. My army pension, savings. Everything I shared with her would be gone.'

'Oh my,' Anna gasped, 'was your mum alright?'

'Just a little shaken, but I started divorce proceedings there and then, as well as stopped the drinking to try and be a better son. I just wanted a woman like that out of my life. But her chiding had stuck with me. What she had said, I believed it. I believed I was worthless, of no good to anybody. She had turned me into a depressed alcoholic. And I married someone like that. '

'Which is what put you off marriage,' Anna squeezed his hand a little tighter.

'It wasn't just that. I was seeing young men die, men with young children at home who would never get to know their Dad's. I was always brought up to believe marriage was a gift from God. How could there even be a God when I was seeing that happening? My whole faith, which was a big part of my childhood, was completely shattered.'

'I'm sorry John, I would have never forced the issue had I known…'

'See, that's just it Anna,' John interrupted her, putting his coffee down before taking hold of both of her hands. He had a conviction in his voice she had never heard before. 'You were well within your rights to force the issue. I love you, you love me.' He looked at her stomach. 'We are having a baby together. It's not fair I let my past dictate both of our futures.'

'But it's also not fair I force you into something that has so clearly been ruined for you.'

'I need to let my head catch up with my heart,' he stroked her cheek then, Anna leaning into his touch. She had missed him so much. 'I know you are nothing like Vera.'

'I should hope I'm not like her,' Anna replied, her laughter at his remark causing John to reciprocate. She had missed laughing with him.

'I just want to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have implied I never want to marry you. I know now it's definitely not the case.'

'Oh John, you have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.'

'I don't see the day where I won't want you in my life, Anna. And I've never felt that way about anyone, not even Vera.' Anna couldn't help the tear that fell down her cheek as he spoke, having to catch her breath as he wiped it away with the back of his hand. 'And one day, you will be my wife. Correction, one day, I _want_ you to be my wife. I'll understand if it's not enough, but I guess what I'm asking is for you to be patient with me.'

'I shall,' Anna agreed, 'on one condition.'

'Name it.'

'You come home.'

* * *

In bed later that night, Anna lay with her back to John, his arm draped over her stomach. Events had taken a rather passionate turn when they arrived home, John wanted to say sorry properly and Anna fell willingly into his arms. It seemed Anna had found herself missing him in more ways than one, falling into the amorous stage some pregnant women go through. John was more than happy to oblige.

'I have no idea what I did to deserve you,' John whispered, kissing Anna's bare shoulder. 'Or the little one.'

'Well, whatever it was I am very glad you did it,' Anna said in response, leaning over her shoulder to meet his lips with her own. Her kisses tasted sweeter than ever before. John was shocked to feel her pull away suddenly. Worried, he leant up so he could better look at her. 'Ooh.'

'What is it?' John arched his eyebrow in confusion. 'Is it the baby?'

'No, I've just got a panging for a strawberry milkshake.'

'Well, I saw some strawberry milk in the fridge,' John replied, moving to get out of bed before feeling Anna's hand on his arm.

'No John, a McDonalds Strawberry milkshake.'

He looked at her to gauge if she was serious before realising she was. Looking at the clock he saw it was a little after eleven. The McDonalds restaurant at Waterloo station would still be open. Exhaling a deep breath, he continued on his journey out of the bed and began to get dressed.

'Oh John, thank you.'

'Anything for you, my darling,' John said as he got dressed in the dark, nearly losing his balance as he put on his trousers. Once suitably attired, he leant across the bed and offered Anna a kiss which she gratefully accepted. 'I won't be long.'

'Oh and John.' Anna called as she tucked herself up under the covers once more.

'Yes.'

'Could I get a Big Mac with that, as well?'

How could he refuse? John had a lot of making up to do.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N After the angst of the previous two chapters, an easy going one here. Slightly more jovial than those in the past, I hope you enjoy it. **

**Disclaimer-** Same as Chapters 1-19/

* * *

Sitting in the café, John couldn't take his eyes from the scan picture in his hands. He was looking at his son, himself and Anna having found out what they were having at the six month scan. Both had been determined to not find out, but when the doctor had asked if they wanted to know, neither could resist.

'I take it from the smile on your face, you're happy to be having a boy?'

'Yeah, an heir to my fortune at the first time of asking,' John replied with a smile. 'Robert is going to be so pissed. He's had three attempts and the nearest he got to a son was Mary.'

'John,' Anna exclaimed, kicking him under the table.

'Darling, that's not a good example to set to Peanut,' John rubbed his shin, 'kicking his father under the table.' He looked up to meet Anna's gaze as she stirred her coffee, staring into the distance. John furrowed his brow. 'You alright?'

'Yeah,' Anna murmured unconvincingly, still stirring her coffee.

'Anna,' John said pointedly, 'look at me.' She lifted her head. 'What is it?'

'Oh, I don't know,' she sighed, finally putting the teaspoon down. 'I was just convinced we were having a girl.'

'Me too.' Nodding in understanding, John released a sigh of relief it wasn't anything more serious. He reached across the table and placed his hand over Anna's. A smirk spread across his lips before he continued speaking, 'you know, I reckon we have at least a couple of years until he notices the difference so I say we can still do the frilly dresses. Just maybe not in public.'

'John, we can't do that.' She was laughing though, it still warmed John's heart as much as the first day he saw her do it. Suddenly, her face turned a little more serious. 'You know, this just might be the only chance I get to be a parent.'

'And me,' John agreed, 'but we should count ourselves lucky. Some people don't even get one chance.' Her demeanour seemed to lift with his words, John moving his hand to put an errant lock of hair back in place. 'And boys can wear pink. You must have seen Robert's smashing pink shirt.'

'Yeah. Maybe we'll steer away from pink.' Anna took a sip of her drink, John could tell she was mulling something else over in her mind.

'There is only room for one brooder in this relationship, and I've got the monopoly on that. What else is troubling you?'

'Oh, I don't know. It's just dawning on me how close everything is. I start maternity leave next week, the baby will be here in three months. It's scary.'

'Well, the family visiting next week is something to look forward to,' John said, trying to make her feel better. 'We can start putting the nursery together. There are baby names to think about too.'

'See, all my favourites are girls names.'

'We can give him a unisex name. This is the modern world. What's at the top of your list?'

'Lily.'

John cocked his head to the side, deep in thought. 'Yeah, that's not going to work is it? The nearest I can think of is Billy.'

'No son of mine will be called Billy.'

'Hang on, it could work. What about Billie Jean?'

'No,' was her pointed response. 'Just no.'

'Okay, so can you think of any boys names you like?'

She considered his question for a moment, John taking this opportunity to check his phone as she thought. 'How about Ronan?'

'As in rat?' John asked, not looking up from his phone.

'No, that's Roland. I mean as in Keating. The Irish sex god with a velvety voice.'

'Hello, that's me isn't it?'

'What are your family names?' Anna asked.

'Erm, my Dad was called Donall.'

Anna screwed her nose up. 'Ooh no, that doesn't work. What's your middle name again?'

'David.'

'No,' she shook her head dismissively, John still looking at his phone. The waiter approached the table, placing two plates on the table.

'Your sandwiches, enjoy,' he said politely. 'Can I get you anything else?'

'No thank you,' John heard Anna reply as he scrolled through the contact list on his phone.

'You're more interested in what's on your phone than picking a name for our child.'

'Not so, my sweet. I am looking at my contacts. All my cousins are on here.'

Anna gave him a sceptical look. 'Okay, let me hear what you've got.'

'Aidan.'

'No.'

'Barry.'

'God no.'

'Colin, Dermot, Emmott, Eamon, Finbar, Finlay…'

'Stop.' She lifted her hand. 'Finlay. Finlay Bates.'

'I never see him, he's in prison. Swears down it wasn't him, though,' John explained, Anna couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or not. He continued to read out names. 'Oh, I missed my cousin Dylan, I really need to wear my glasses more.'

'Dylan?' Anna said aloud, twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she thought. 'Dylan John Bates. I like that.' She looked at him. 'He's not in prison, no?'

'No, not Dylan. Well, they weren't able to prove it was him. If a jury is in any doubt at all…'

'John,' Anna snapped before he burst out laughing. 'You made that up about Finlay too, didn't you?'

'Well, he should have gone to prison,' John protested, 'he broke a window when we were kids and blamed it on me. Grounded for a month solid, I was.'

'Do you like Dylan? Is there a reason we can't name our child that?'

'Hmm, talented musician, only character in the Magic Roundabout worth remembering. Not so sure about the John though.'

'It's a tradition in my family the first born son has the middle name of his father.'

'Really,' John raised his eyebrows, not totally enamoured with the idea. He placed his phone on the table and picked up one of his sandwiches. 'Alright. It will make my mother happy, at least.'

John watched as Anna began to eat her sandwich before the sound of his message alert made him jump. 'Shi…'

'John,' Anna interrupted him, rubbing her stomach gently. 'Peanut has already developed ears.'

'Sorry.' He was surprised to see a message from his boss, Charles Carson. John stopped eating as he read the words on the screen.

The next thing he heard was Anna's voice. 'What is it? You never stop eating.'

'Charles at work. Someone has pulled out of playing at the shop tomorrow night. He wondered if I would like to step in.'

'Oh my God, John. That's wonderful.' She seemed rather excited.

'It's a little shop around the corner, Anna. Not Wembley Stadium.'

'But your own gig, people listening to you and not because you are just there as they walk out of a station. You have to say yes. It's not like you don't know enough songs.'

'It will be a bit nerve-wracking, all those people watching…'

'Stop right there. You used to perform to hundreds of passing commuters every morning like it was second nature. You can perform to fifty or so people in a little room, no problem. You are really talented John, anyone can see that.'

He smiled at her words, never understanding her unwavering faith in him or what he had done to deserve it. 'Will you come?'

'Yeah I will, front row and centre. Your first groupie.'

'Sorry my love, Matthew claimed that role at Robert's last barbecue.'

'Oh, I see,' she seemed rather upset at his words, although her face detected the hint of a smile. 'But is Matthew carrying your unborn son?'

'Well I hope not,' John replied, 'I'll tell Charles yes, then?'

'Yes you will,' Anna agreed. 'We can work on a set list this evening.'

'Alright,' John said as he began to compose a reply to Charles before looking at her under a raised eyebrow. 'Sure you just want to be a groupie? My manager wouldn't suit you better?'

She carefully picked up her sandwich again before saying, 'oh, I already know I own your arse.'

John couldn't stop the booming laugh that left him in response to her words. He was enjoying the jovial atmosphere that once again surrounded them. They had reached an understanding after the angst of the previous few weeks, everything seemed perfect again. Anna had accepted the situation, when he had no right to expect her understanding. And as he looked at her beautiful face across the table, one of her arms draped across her swelling stomach, John felt like the most fortunate man in the world.

* * *

Waiting in the little performance area, a door separating it from the main shop, Anna sat with Cora and Robert, who had insisted in coming to add a little moral support. Matthew and Tom had tagged along as well, John admitting to Anna he was relieved he'd at least have five people there. Whilst he was busy preparing backstage, if you could call the staff room that, the auditorium was beginning to fill. Anna was pleased people were still attending despite the original act pulling out, John's talent deserved to be seen and heard.

'So a boy?' Cora said, turning to talk to Anna. 'Happy?'

'Yeah, I am. I'm getting over the bereavement of what might have been. The frilly dresses and everything. We were both so sure it was a girl.'

'Oh, boys will be easier, believe me,' Robert interjected, leaning across Cora. 'Trust me, I raised three girls and it's nothing but one drama after another.'

'Right, raise them single-handedly did you, Robert?' Cora asked, 'you did the night feeds, did you? Changed the diapers…'

'Nappies,' Robert corrected her. 'And no, I was busy fighting for Queen and Country most of the time.'

Anna laughed as Cora growled in frustration. 'I hate it when you use the Queen and Country line to win an argument.' She turned to Anna. 'Does John do that?'

'No, I just get a lot of yes dear's.'

'See, under the thumb. That's what Bates is. I can never understand how a man lets himself become like that.' Cora's intense glare at her husband told him it was probably time to quit whilst he was ahead. 'Ahh, I saw a vending machine out in the shop there. Anyone want a coffee?'

'Coffee please,' Cora replied with a smile. 'From Starbucks. Down the street.'

It was too late as the lights dimmed, indicating it was time for the show to begin. Anna counted only a handful of empty seats as Charles appeared on stage, John would have to pleased with this for a turnout for his first gig.

'Good evening, welcome to Cheerful Charlie's.' Charles began, his booming voice filling the little room and getting everyone's undivided attention. 'Apologies for the late change in act, I know how fond some of you regulars are of Liam Slattery. But we have a more than apt replacement to fill the void. He actually works in the shop, some of you might have become acquainted with him over the past few weeks. He is an extremely talented pianist and drummer, but tonight it is his guitar playing he is going to be showcasing for your enjoyment. On the theme, Best Of British, will you please give a warm Cheerful Charlie's welcome to John Bates.'

A ripple of applause broke out throughout the room as John appeared, clutching his guitar and walking to the microphone. Anna met his gaze, smiling at him and rubbing her stomach before mouthing the words, 'we love you.' He seemed to become more assured upon hearing her words, a relaxed smile replacing his nervous expression.

'Good evening everyone, my name is John Bates. I will be invading your ears for the next hour or so. I'm more comfortable busking, truth be told, but at least it's dry and warm in here.' As those gathered laughed at his remark, Anna was loving seeing her boyfriend up on stage, his initial anxiousness having melted away as he tuned his guitar. He looked so natural, like he had been doing this for ages. 'I hope I can live up to the legendary status Liam had build up in these parts, but now I just waffling so I'll begin the first song. It is Best Of British night, so what better to start with than _Going Underground_.'

* * *

John didn't want this night to end, he was enjoying it far more than he ever thought was possible. He had build a natural rapport with those in attendance. soon remembering audience participation had been his favourite part of busking as well. His time was nearly up and he had been taking requests for the best part of twenty minutes now, rather proud of his version of _Spice Up Your Life_, suggested by Tom probably as an attempt to stitch him up.

'_There she was just a walking down the street singing…' _

'_Do wah diddy, diddy dum, diddy dooo.' _

'Beautiful, I must you say you are the best audience I have ever had.'

'We're the only audience you've ever had,' Matthew shouted from the second row.

'That's beside the point, Matthew. Minor details. So, Charles keeps tapping his watch and looking at me which must mean I have come to the last song of the evening. And what better way to end, than with a song for my beloved.'

'Aww, thanks mate.'

'No, not you Robert but my beautiful girlfriend sitting in the front row here.' John locked his gaze on Anna's. 'Any request from you and Peanut, my love?'

'Erm, how about some James Blunt?'

'Really,' John groaned, some of those gathered laughing. 'Okay, which one?'

'Hang on a minute, you know James Blunt's back catalogue?' Robert asked his friend.

'You're Beautiful is a work of lyrical genius,' John protested, however his look and roll of the eyes to the rest of his audience betrayed that statement. 'Which one then, Anna?'

'Bonfire Heart, please.'

'Oh, I love that song,' a woman a few rows behind Anna said.

'Yeah, could have been worse,' John agreed, 'So this one is for Anna, and I'd like to thank her for her support this evening. It's the main reason I ever had the confidence to get up here on stage tonight.' He winked in her direction, gently strumming his guitar before playing the melody one time to make sure he had it right.

'They are so sweet together,' John heard Cora say. He smiled before singing the first lyric.

'_Your mouth is a revolver, firing bullets in the sky. Your love is like a soldier, loyal till you die…' _

Just as he was about to sing the next line, John was beaten to it by Matthew and Tom. _'And I've been looking at you for a long, long time, I've been putting out fires all my life. Everyone wants a flame, they don't want to get burnt, and today is our turn.' _

'I was just about to sing that,' John laughed, leading everybody into the chorus. 'Let's hear you then. _Days like these, lead to…_'

'_Nights like this lead to, love like ours…' _

Looking at Anna as he sang the next line of the chorus, coupled with how well the evening had gone, he felt his heart swell with love. It was all because of her, her faith in him. '_You light the spark in my bonfire heart_.'

Once the song was over, John was surprised to realise how many people wanted to offer their praise, knowing people appreciated what he did elicited a strange yet satisfied feeling within him. Sure, commuters had left him money to indicate they had enjoyed his performance, but no one had ever told him he was good outside of those who knew him. Most importantly, Charles like him which was a relief.

'I'd like you to play here once a month,' he said, shaking his employees hand. 'If that was agreeable.'

'Yeah,' John replied, shaking his hand enthusiastically. 'I'd love that.'

'Great. Are you okay to shut everything down in here? Elsie was expecting me home half an hour ago.'

'Yeah, sorry about that,' John said as he rubbed his neck. 'I need to narrow down a proper set next time.'

'I must say, the audience participation was quite enjoyable.' With a nod of the head, Charles left the room leaving John with Anna, Robert and Cora. 'I've got a gig here once a month.'

'Oh John, that's brilliant news,' Anna exclaimed, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. 'Peanut enjoyed the gig as well. Hasn't been still for the entire performance. Played havoc with my bladder.'

'Anna was telling us she's a little nervous about finishing work tomorrow.' Cora explained.

'Is she?' John looked down at Anna, wrapping an arm round her waist.

'Everything just seems so real now.' She laughed uncomfortably before adding, 'and the thought of the actual birth is making me nervous.'

'Honestly, as soon as you hold your son in your arms you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.' Cora assured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Anna nodded her head before she looked up to meet John's eyes. She hadn't voiced her concerns to him, the thought she was frightened didn't sit well with him. John couldn't bear to think she felt that way, despite it being totally natural.

'I've got to shut everything down in here, I'll only be a few minutes.'

'Alright, I'll wait for you in the shop.'

* * *

Anna left the fashion house, on one hand excited about what lay ahead in the coming weeks, but on the other terrified of the changes it would bring to her life, as well as the birth. Despite knowing it was ridiculous, she would be in the hospital, the best possible place where babies were delivered every day, she supposed it was the fear of the unknown that bothered her most. As she reached the main foyer, the voice of the receptionist caught her attention.

'Anna, these have been left for you.' She turned to be greeted with a dozen blue roses, carefully wrapped with blue paper and a blue ribbon.

'Thank you, Jane,' Anna gasped, completely overwhelmed. 'Are these from Mary. She's already done enough.'

'No, they were delivered. There is a note.'

Anna spotted the blue card, moving to a bench nearby to read it. Placing the flowers down carefully beside her, she opened the envelope and instantly recognised the handwriting.

'_Dearest Anna, I don't know blue roses indicate, I just picked them because blue for a boy. I don't like to think of you frightened, or nervous. Know that I am by your side through it all, we'll get through this together, like always. You are going to be a wonderful mother. We both love you very much,  
John and Peanut x.'_

She felt a tear rolling down her cheek upon reading his words, realising in that moment with John by her side she had nothing to be scared of. Picking up her flowers, breathing in their beautiful scent, she stood up and was met by a familiar figure standing a few paces away from her. It was John.

'I was wondering if you would like me to accompany you home?' He was smiling broadly, hands in his pockets, a finer sight Anna was sure she had never seen. Her response to his question was to close the gap between them, reaching up to meet his lips with her own. John was smiling as she pulled away, having taken her hand in his. 'You like the flowers then?'

'The kiss was more for the words on the card. But yes, they're lovely.'

'Come on, Miss Smith. Let's go home.'


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N- For those awaiting it, sorry for the delay in an update to this story. Hope you enjoy, it couldn't all be plain sailing, could it?**

**Disclaimer-** Downton belongs to Julian Fellowes/ITV/Carnival etc...

* * *

John sat on the edge of the sofa, watching as Anna dashed around here there and everywhere, straightening ornaments, wiping down surfaces with a damp cloth, plumping pillows. Her family were due to arrive any minute, ready for their guided tour of the capital. Even though she was into her seventh month of pregnancy, her energy showed no signs of waning. However, that could be because Anna was nervous about her mother visiting, wanting to make sure the flat was spotless her top priority.

Her family were staying in a nearby hotel tonight, and today, at the request of Molly, were to see all the sights, in particular, in her words, 'the palace where all the princesses live.'

'You are so beautiful when you get stressed out,' John said to her, although soon realising it was the wrong thing to say when Anna glared at him. He raised his hands in his defence, 'what? You are.'

'I am so nervous.'

'Why?' John shrugged, standing up and moving closer to her. He placed his hands on her arms, feeling Anna instantly calm underneath his touch. Looking into her eyes, he saw her features soften as she began to relax. The blue of her eyes made him momentarily forget what his task was before he remembered what he wanted to say. 'They are your family. They love you, they are wonderful people. They won't care what the flat looks like.'

'I know,' she closed her eyes, smiling a smile that never failed to take his breath away.

He placed a hand on her ever growing stomach. 'And this stress can't be good for Peanut, either. Besides, I'm the one who should be nervous, after all that happened a few weeks ago.'

'Sssh, they are fine with it.'

The assured nature of her tone set John at ease. She melted even more into his touch then, John pulling her into his embrace. He was trying to ignore the feel of her breath on his neck and the sensations it was sending coursing though his body, especially considering who was about to arrive. He placed a kiss on her cheek before she turned her head to meet his lips with hers. John instantly deepened the kiss, when it came to Anna he was so often left weak. As his hand travelled lower down her back, the doorbell rang.

'Oh,' Anna groaned, brushing her lips once more against John's. 'I was hoping they'd be late. They usually are.'

'We have plenty of time for this later,' John replied, releasing his hold on her. 'Go and answer the door.'

'Do I look alright?' Anna asked, standing back and allowing John to gaze at her from head to toe.

'Do you really need to ask that question?' John smirked at her warmly, taking in the sight of her in a floaty light blue summer dress, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. 'You look breathtaking. As always.'

Noting the more confident spring in her step as she walk towards the door, John exhaled a breath before Anna opened it. The noise was almost deafening as mother and daughter, sister and sister were reunited. John couldn't help but smile as Anna welcomed them.

'Darling, you look simply wonderful.' Harriet cooed as Anna fell into her arms. 'Pregnancy really suits you.'

'It's not fair, even at seven months pregnant you still look stunning,' Jane added, giving her sister a hug. 'You always were the pretty one.'

'Come off it, Jane,' Anna replied, encouraging her sister to give her a twirl. 'You look beautiful too.'

'Can I butt in?' John asked, stepping forward with his hand in the air like a school boy wanting attention from the teacher. 'All three Smith women look absolutely beautiful. But where is the littlest one?'

'John,' Harriet walked towards him with her arms outstretched. 'How are you, my love?'

'Alright,' John replied, kissing Anna's mother on the cheek. 'A little nervous. I gather you heard about our little disagreement.'

'Well, Anna is certain you are here to stay and that's good enough for us,' Jane informed John, moving closer so she could greet him. 'Dad, the boys, Becky and the kids are downstairs. Molly and Toby saw the park and couldn't just walk past so we said we'd run up here and fetch you both.'

'Right, I guess I should get into the mode of tour guide,' John took his wallet from the table and placed it in his back pocket. Allowing the ladies to go on ahead, John furrowed his brow when Anna hung back then was taken by surprise when she reached up to kiss his lips.

'That's to keep you going until later.'

'You are so good to me,' John said with a wink.

* * *

The summer sun was beating down on London town, Anna couldn't have wished for more perfect weather as she entertained her family in her new home city. As soon as she had seen him, Molly made a beeline for her new favourite person, John. She had insisted he hold her hand for the majority of their walk to the South Bank, both chatting animatedly as they strolled along. Toby had soon enough grabbed hold of his other hand, and the three of them made quite the picture, John even attempting to skip at one point, much to the amusement of Anna and the women in her family.

Every so often, John would stop to enquire about Anna's welfare, she saying every time that she was absolutely fine. It had become a bit of a theme in the past few weeks, John making sure Anna wanted for absolutely nothing. He treated her like a princess and it hadn't gone unnoticed by the female persuasion in her family. Walking a few steps behind the man she loved allowed Anna a rather shallow moment to admire his form. She loved how he always wore shorts in this weather when he wasn't working, today's cream knee length pair a particular favourite. The sleeves of his navy blue polo shirt hugged at his upper arms, she couldn't help but think to when those arms were holding her tightly. John hadn't been sure when Anna suggested the brown boat shoes they saw on a recent shopping trip, but after a few days he told her they had been some of the most comfortable he had ever owned.

Anna had to admit, she was loving being able to chat to her mum, Jane and Becky. She had missed their girly chats and girly chats in general, Gwen and Daisy both busy with work and Ethel was still keeping her distance after everything that had happened with John. She was growing closer to Mary, but there was nothing like gossiping with her family, safe in the knowledge she could say anything and not be judged.

Phillip and Gary had been interested to hear about John's career change, and his subsequent regular gig at Cheerful Charlie's. Anna loved to see John getting on so well with her brother and a man she considered her brother in Gary. It was so important to her that her family knew the man she knew John was, especially in light of their decision to hold off on marriage for the time being. Anna knew her Dad wasn't too impressed, and it had shown in his almost avoidance of John, which came as a shock to her when her mother had insisted everything was fine. If he had noticed, John was too polite to say so, still trying his utmost to be charm personified. Her mother had assured her over the phone that her Dad was alright with the situation, but she was beginning to realise he was anything but.

'Right, who would like to do the London Eye?' John asked as they reached the huge structure on the river.

Toby and Molly were jumping up and down, voicing their enthusiasm, both saying in unison, 'me!'

'I can't,' Anna replied, placing a hand on the swell of her stomach.

'So we thought the boys could take the kids on there whilst we found somewhere to have a coffee.' Jane suggested, looking to her husband and brother in law who were nodding in agreement, before her father. 'What about you, Dad? I'm sure they could use your help.'

'I don't know,' James shrugged his shoulders, his brief look to John causing Anna's heart to sink. John thankfully hadn't noticed, too busy trying to calm down an excitable five and seven year old.

'Go on, James,' Harriet encouraged, taking his hand in hers. Anna watched on, biting her lip in an attempt to not display her disappointment. Surely her father could see in this short time since they had left the house how committed John was to her and her family. 'You've always said how much you wanted to go on the London Eye. Now you're standing right next to it and you're not sure?'

James was looking at Anna now, and he must have been able to see the hurt in her eyes. Something in his gaze softened, she could almost see his resolve drift away. Before he had a chance to voice his agreement however, Phillip had taken hold of his father's arm and was pulling him towards where John and Gary were waiting with the children.

'Come on Dad, leave the ladies to their own devices for an hour or so,' they could hear Phillip saying before he looked over his shoulder and winked at them.

'Right, so we have an hour,' Jane said looking at her watch. 'I saw we find a bar and have a proper gossip.'

'That might just be one of your better ideas,' Becky was quick to add.

'Sounds good to me,' Anna smiled weakly, looking over at John with the men in her family. She felt her heart tug a little in her chest, everything he was doing was for her. She just prayed her Dad would come to realise that.

* * *

They had only had to queue for twenty minutes or so, which came as a relief to John. However, the kids were very well behaved and Gary and Phillip were letting their paternal qualities come to the fore in keeping their children entertained, qualities John was hoping would come as naturally to him when his own son had arrived.

'So, a boy eh, John?' Phillip said as they reached the platform where passengers boarded their pods. 'Excited?'

'Very, although naturally I think Anna was hoping for a girl.'

Phillip covered Molly's ears for a moment before whispering, 'so was I. But as soon as you hold them in your arms it's all forgotten about.'

'Daddy, please move your hands from ears, I can hear you,' Molly said, hands on her hips.

'What do you think, Dad?' Phillip asked, doing as his daughter had requested. 'Another grandson?'

James shrugged. 'No matter what the sex, Anna will make a wonderful mother. After all that has happened, I'm sure she will be over the moon with a healthy baby, no matter what it is.'

'Of course, I was only saying that…'

John didn't have a chance to finish his sentence, James walking on ahead and following Gary and Toby into the pod. Phillip placed a hand on John's shoulder, as Molly wrapped her little hand around John's once more.

'Don't worry mate, he's just worried about his baby girl.'

'Of course,' John smiled, before looking down at Molly. 'Read for this then, sweetheart?'

'How high does it go?' the little girl asked, looking tentatively into their pod before John felt her pressure on his hand increase.

'Quite high but you are perfectly safe,' John reassured her, allowing Phillip to step inside first before following with Molly.

Once the trip had started, Toby had also gravitated towards John. He didn't mind, he had been on the London Eye a number of times and his supervision of the children meant Phillip and Gary could enjoy their first time on board. John had to admit he enjoyed pointing out all the different landmarks to the two of them, finding something quite satisfying in teaching them both new things when they voiced questions his way.

As they began their descent, both children had clearly had their fill of John's little geography lesson, their respective Dads taking over their supervision. John felt he should use the last five minutes of the trip to approach James. He had been stood in the same position for the entire time, sharing brief conversations with his son and son in law and commenting on things he saw, but other than that, seemingly emotionless. Now standing behind Anna's father, John exhaled a shaky breath before moving beside him.

'Enjoy the ride, Mr Smith?' He thought his best tact would be to be polite and respectable.

'Erm, very agreeable,' James replied, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

The elder man cleared his throat as the two men fell into an awkward silence. This could go one of two ways, John thought to himself. They could ignore the elephant

in the room, which would be John's failure to put a ring on Anna's finger, her family would return up north and no more would be said or insinuated until they came back down, probably after the birth of John and Anna's son. Or they could tackle the problem head on now, in these few minutes they would have alone before they were reunited with the women in their party. John knew which he would prefer.

'Look, I'm not an idiot, Mr Smith. I know you are unhappy I haven't asked your daughter to marry me.'

'Do we have to drag this up now?' James replied, an annoyed lilt to his tone as he placed his hands in his pockets.

'I fully understand your feelings,' John continued, ignoring James's reluctance to continue the conversation, 'in any normal situation Anna would be my fiancée.' James remained silent, John taking this as his cue to carry on. 'Be safe in the knowledge sir, that I love your daughter with all my heart and have done for so long now. Things progressed quicker between us than any of us would have liked, but I don't regret a thing. I can't wait to become a father, and the fact it is the father to Anna's child, well that makes it even better.'

'I know you love my daughter, John. That has never been in question. But what I can't fathom,' the man began his reply, clearly agitated, 'is why you won't ask her to marry you. Jane said something about bad experiences in a past marriage, but surely Anna is different.'

'Oh, believe me Mr Smith, Anna is different but there are other factors as well. Not just my failed marriage. I was in the army, I saw things which changed me.'

'I understand that,' James said with a nod, looking out over the horizon, memories of his own military career filling his conscious.

'And I promise one day, she shall be my wife. But she understands why it is too soon for me, and has promised she will wait. Something I definitely don't deserve.'

'Look, after Andrew all I wanted was for my daughter to be happy. And I think,' James stopped, looking up to John before correcting himself. 'No, I know she will be happy with you.'

'Well, I thought you might not be best pleased with the situation.'

'I'm not and I won't be completely content until you are married. But it shows balls lad, to confront me about this. That proves to me you are committed to my little girl.'

John allowed a smile to pass over his lips then, he was sure he could see the flicker of a smirk on James face as well. He was almost taken by surprise when James placed a hand upon his shoulder. 'I said when you were in Yorkshire to be the person that she needs. Well, maybe you should let her be the person you need her to be too. It's clear you both have a lot of healing to go through, be there for each other.'

'I promise we will be,' John nodded.

'Time to leave,' Phillip whispered behind them, John and James looking over their shoulders to see the door to the pod open.

No more words were spoken as the men exited the London Eye, John and James walking beside each other in a companionable silence behind the two Dads and their children. That was until they saw the ladies standing in a group together waiting for them, ice creams in hand. Molly and Toby ran in the directions of their mothers, the relief Gary and Phillip felt clearly visible. They had been quite a handful in the final few minutes of the journey.

'She always did have a sweet tooth, that daughter of mine,' James remarked to John.

'Don't I know it,' John replied, meeting Anna's gaze although they were still a fair distance from one another. 'I've been known to visit a particular fast food outlet to purchase her a strawberry milkshake at ridiculous times of the day.'

'It must be a committed relationship then,' James replied, offering John a smirk before greeting Harriet.

Anna stepped away from her family then to move closer to John. She was wearing a hopeful expression, having just seen her boyfriend and her father chatting in what appeared like an amicable manner. He placed an arm around her waist once she was beside him, before helping himself to a lick of her ice cream.

'You spoke to Dad then?'

'We reached an understanding,' John replied through a mouthful of ice cream. 'Approaching him about it apparently means I have balls.'

Anna used her hand that wasn't holding the ice cream to rub her stomach, her voice a whisper as she spoke. 'Well Mr Bates, I've known that about you for a long time.'

John met her gaze then, lifting an eyebrow in response before he felt Anna's arm move around his waist. He couldn't help but reach down and place a soft kiss on her lips, circumstances and present company be damned. This was the woman he loved and he didn't care who knew it.

'Eww, John,' Molly voiced her clear disgust at the image of him kissing her Aunty Anna before she began tugging at his hand for what must have been the thousandth time. 'What's next?'

'I thought we might get some lunch,' John suggested, moving his arm from Anna's waist to take her hand in his. 'We could walk over to Leicester Square, there are plenty of restaurants there. It's not far. We could go via Westminster Abbey and Whitehall. See some more sights.'

Everyone seemed to be happy with John's proposal as they began to walk, all except Anna who was looking at him with a quizzical eye, Molly running on ahead. 'It's at least a twenty minute walk from here to Leicester Square if we go that way.'

'I know, but the longer we walk,' he winked before finishing his sentence, 'the longer I get to hold your hand.'

* * *

The rest of the afternoon had passed by as well as the morning, especially now the tension had disappeared between James and John. After lunch and the customary trip to Hamley's which pleased Toby, John had been only too happy to take Molly to see the 'princesses' at Buckingham Palace. With everyone suitably satisfied and having seen and done everything they wanted to, John suggested they stay at home whilst he collected his mother for dinner back at the flat.

John was pleased for the loan of Robert's car, a precaution now Anna was entering the latter stages of her pregnancy. He never did like his mother using the underground, even if John was with her. He would be needing a car in the coming months, the baby being the catalyst to him finally looking for one but for now Robert's BMW would suffice.

'I hope you were charm personified, my boy,' John's mother said as John explained about their afternoon as he drove her across town to his flat in Lambeth. 'I am looking forward to meeting everybody. What are you cooking us all?'

'Something pasta based, everyone likes pasta don't they?'

John seemed nervous and his mother sensed this. 'Honestly lad, why don't you just order take out?'

'Because I want to show them their daughter or sister is in capable hands,' John replied before Helen interrupted into giggles. 'What?'

'And you're going to show them that by giving them your cooking to eat?'

'I can cook,' John insisted, causing Helen's laughter to increase. 'You've never complained about my cooking before.'

'No son, because I am your Mum and it's my job to be proud of everything you do.'

'I best get Anna to have them look through some take away menu's then,' John said, picking up his phone from the side pocket of the door as they stopped at a red light.

'John Bates, put that down,' Helen scolded, 'it is against the law to use your phone whilst driving. Plus, I only wanted to wind you up. And it worked.'

'Yes, thanks mother,' John replied sarcastically, putting his phone back. 'Spaghetti bolognaise be alright, will it?'

'Perfectly son.'

Arriving back at the flat, Helen's Irish nature came shining through as she became acquainted with Anna's family. His mother had always had a knack for talking to strangers, John confident enough to leave her chatting whilst he cooked in the kitchen. From his position behind the stove, John smiled as he saw Helen and Harriet chatting intently, James, Gary and Phillip had found a football match on television whilst Toby and Molly were playing on John's piano. However, John hadn't been able to ignore Anna's hand had barely left the small of her back. He met her gaze, questioning her with his eyes, but she only replied each time with a reassuring smile. John still wasn't convinced as Anna approached him in the kitchen.

'Are you alright?' he asked quietly, fully aware those gathered in the living area were within hearing distance and he cause any untoward alarm.

'I just feel a little uncomfortable,' Anna replied, helping herself to a handful of the cheese John had grated. 'Think it's all the walking we did today.'

'You make me feel bad,' he replied, regarding her with a sheepish smile.

'Oh, don't be,' Anna ran a hand over his forearm. 'It was lovely to hold your hand that little bit longer. I'll be fine. I just need a bath.'

Much to his relief, dinner was received with many compliments to the chef. But John just couldn't take his eyes off his girlfriend, and not in keeping with her recent healthy appetite she had barely touched her meal. As they brought the dirty plates into the kitchen to be washed up later, John on a promise of performing some songs for their guests before they left, he once again voiced his concerns.

'Should I call the doctor?' he asked as they piled the plates on the kitchen counter.

'Absolutely not,' Anna replied without missing a beat. 'It doesn't hurt, I just feel a bit restless is all. Please stop worrying.'

'I never stop worrying about you,' John answered with a smile. 'It's an expectant father's privilege.'

'And I'm lucky to have such an attentive man as you, but honestly it's fine.' She moved a little closer to him. 'I'm actually quite looking forward to having your undivided attention in bed a little later on.'

'It shall be yours, Miss Smith.'

'Hey, are you two going to stop whispering sweet nothings to each other and let John take over from those kids on the piano?' Phillip yelled from his position on the edge of the sofa. 'There is only so much Chopsticks I can take.'

'It's the only one I know, Daddy,' Molly replied, looking quite hurt as Becky nudged her husband in the ribs.

'And very nice it is too, sweetheart,' he tried to backtrack as John and Anna rejoined everyone in the living area.

'Stay and help me, Molly,' John suggested as he sat down at the piano. 'In fact, you can have first pick of what I play.'

John began by warming up playing a scale whilst those gathered speculated which One Direction song Molly would choose. 'I like Kiss You.'

'Bit hard to play on the piano though,' John said as he continued to play around on the keys, 'how about that one they sang on the X Factor.'

'Steal My Girl?' Everyone looked on amusedly as Molly and John continued their conversation, John taking it completely seriously. 'So if you play and I can help you sing?'

'I think that is a great idea,' John agreed, reaching beside him into a box and producing a tambourine and handing it to his accompanist. 'Think you can keep time with that?'

'I'll try,' Molly took the instrument from John, tapping it against her hand a couple of times.

'I'll play the intro, count to five then you come in with the tambourine. Okay?'

'Alright,' Molly said with a nod of the head, sitting up straight, seeming to take her task on board with the utmost seriousness.

'Good evening London,' John began, indicating to everyone he and his partner were ready to begin. 'I'd like to welcome you to this very special concert this evening featuring a brand new duo, Smith and Bates.' A ripple of applause came from those gathered, Phillip whistling for good effect. 'And for our first song, we'd like to play you Steal My Girl, by the one and only…'

John gestured for Molly to continue his sentence, she obliging with a squeal, 'One Direction.'

A scream, albeit tongue in cheek, erupted from the women gathered as John began to play the opening melody of their chosen song.

'Alright Molly, after five. One, two, three, four, five…' The youngest Smith girl showed natural rhythm as she played the tambourine in time perfectly with John's piano playing. 'Ready to begin?' Molly nodded as John counted her in once again. 'After four. A one, two, three, four…'

'_She be my queen since we were sixteen, we want the same things, we dream the same dreams, alright…' _they sang together, John singing that little bit gentler so Molly's vocals could shine through. He wasn't just being kind when he believed she had a beautiful singing voice, especially for one so young. _'I got it all cause she is the one, her mum calls me love, her dad calls me son, alright. Alright. I know, I know, I know for sure.'_

'Join in if you know the words, guys,' John encouraged as he played them into the chorus.

'Do we?' Phillip rolled his eyes. 'She makes us play it in the car enough times.'

'_Everybody wanna steal my girl, everybody wants to take her heart away,' _John was amused as he could hear a few voices joining in from the audience, Anna included. He met her gaze as he continued to sing, '_couple billion in the whole wide world, find another one cause she belongs to me.' _

'Daddy, stop singing,' Molly pleaded, slightly embarrassed at he father's enthusiastic participation, causing laughter to fill the room as John, ever the professional continued to sing, reaching the second verse.

'_Kisses like cream, her walk is so mean, and every jaw drops when she's in those jeans, alright,' _John made sure he was looking at Anna, lifting his eyebrows as he sang that particular lyric.

Having got over her embarrassment at her father's singing along, Molly was able to join in with John right to the end of the song, their performance receiving a standing ovation.

'Come on, John. How does a grown man know 1D that well?' Phillip teased. 'My excuse is my daughter is obsessed.'

'Well, I knew Molly was coming so I practiced for her.' John replied, smiling down at the girl sitting beside him. 'So, seeing as she picked the first song, I think it's only fair my little mate, Toby picks the next.'

'Do you know the Thomas The Tank Engine theme?' Gary asked with a chuckle.

'I want funk you up,' Toby said, rising to his feet from his position on his mother's lap.

'I beg your pardon,' Harriet rubbed her ear to make sure she wasn't mishearing. 'You want what now? Isn't he a little young to be using language like that?'

'No mum, funk,' Gary corrected her. 'I think he means Uptown Funk.'

'He just might do,' Becky agreed with a chuckle. 'We have it on repeat on the way to school.'

'I think Uptown Funk is a little out of John's comfort zone,' Anna began before the sound of John strumming his guitar caught everyone's attention.

'And what makes you say that, my love?' John asked as he continued to tune his guitar.

'I was just meaning arm swaying ballads are more your speed, no?'

'Yes, but working with a funk obsessed American has been rubbing off on me,' he explained, 'Jack at work is absolutely obsessed with that song. In quieter periods of the day we have been working on an acoustic version for one of his gigs, with him on vocals granted but I'll give it a go. Can't disappoint little Toby, can we?'

'I can't pretend to even know what song you are on about, but I am looking forward to it all the same,' Helen offered from her position in the armchair.

'I'm with you on that one,' Harriet agreed, the two women sharing a laugh before John took everyone by surprise and beginning the familiar tune.

'Wow, he's good,' Gary said as he and his brother in law accompanied John by helping with the _'doh, doh, doh's' _that began the song, Molly joining in too.

'Alright, show off,' Anna rolled her eyes as John offered her a look as if to say, I told you so_._

'_This hit, that ice cold, Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold. This one for them hood girls, them good girls, straight masterpieces.' _

'What does this song even mean?' James asked, furrowing his brow as he looked at his son and son in law who were singing along with John.

'It's meant to be catchy, Dad,' Jane offered in response, tapping her foot in time to the music.

'Yes, well I've heard catchier air raid sirens,' James continued to moan until Harriet tapped him on the arm.

'Wait until you've heard it all Dad,' Becky said, 'I bet you won't be able to get it out of your head.'

'I think I'd rather be force fed Pedigree Chum,' James folded his arms, looking away from John before the expression Harriet was giving him caused him to start a little. All the while, John was getting in to his performance, the younger of those gathered thoroughly enjoying themselves.

'_Girls hit your hallelujah…' _John sang before his audience replied with an enthusiastic '_whooo.' _

'Honestly, this is what you young'uns call music?' James continued to chide from his position on the sofa. He was surprised to see Harriet bouncing along to the music, shaking his head in response.

'_Saturday night and we in the spot,' _John sang before offering the chorus to the floor.

'_Don't believe me, just watch,' _most of those gathered sang back, much to James's chagrin. As the song progressed, Toby particularly enjoyed the _'uptown funk you up_,' portion of the song, everyone allowing him centre stage as he added in his own dance moves.

'Looks like we have a Fred Astaire in our midst,' John offered, somewhat generously although his compliment endeared him more to what Anna hoped would be his future in laws. He got James back on board by playing him some Frank Sinatra, and his performance of Harriet and James's wedding song, _'When I Fall In Love,' _was gratefully received.

What John had noticed however, was how quiet Anna had become as the evening grew older. It wasn't like her, she was usually the heart and soul of any room she was in, particularly with those she knew, but not tonight. When it came to saying goodbye to everyone, John suggested he call his mother a taxi, not wanting to leave Anna alone but she insisted he should accompany his mother home and that she was fine.

John was grateful for the quiet roads, getting his mother home and getting back to Anna in under an hour. Upon entering the flat however, something was amiss. The television was on, her dressing gown in a heap on the floor but Anna was nowhere to be seen. One look to the bathroom and John knew that was where he would find her. Rushing as fast as his feet would carry him, the image he saw before him was one he would never forget for as long as he lived. Anna was hunched over the basin, desperately trying to catch her breath. Stepping towards her, John stopped in his tracks as he felt something slippery beneath his feet. Looking to the floor, he didn't need too long to realise what had happened.

'My waters have broken, John,' she whimpered, turning her head to regard him.

'I knew there was something wrong,' John replied, stepping closer to her and taking her hand in his. 'Why didn't you tell me? We could have got to hospital.'

'I didn't want to worry everyone.'

'Oh Anna, when are you ever going to worry about yourself for once?'

'He's early,' was her next remark as she rested her head on John's shoulder. 'Eight weeks early. Why is he early, John?'

'I don't know,' John shook his head, 'but lets not panic. Let's get to the hospital and see what's what. Yeah?'

Anna nodded, holding on to his hand as if her life depended on it. He left her for the briefest of moments to collect her hospital bag which she had already packed as a precaution from the bedroom, picking up her dressing gown from the floor on the way out and wrapping it around her shoulders when he rejoined her.

'I'm scared, John.' Her voice sounded so weak, so fragile. He'd never heard Anna sound like this before, but one thing was for sure, John couldn't let her know he was just as scared as she was. He knew enough babies arriving early was never a good thing.

'There's no need to be scared,' John hushed her, kissing her temple. 'I've got you. Now lets get to the hospital.'

* * *

**A/N 2- If you wish to hear how I envisaged John's version of Uptown Funk, copy and paste this link...**

watch?v=wFxEftBWYhM


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N- Nervous about posting this, particularly when one rather kind guest reviewer told me her baby was premature. I wanted to PM you before updating but obviously am unable to. I hope this chapter is alright. Thanks for all your reviews and follows and encouragement for this story. Still a long way to go. Just because Peanut is on his way doesn't mean the end is in sight. **

**Disclaimer-** Downton belongs to ITV/ Carnival/ Julian Fellowes.

* * *

John had never been more frightened. He was trying desperately to keep himself together for Anna's sake, more than anything. The last thing she needed was him having a meltdown when she needed him more than ever. John had already let her down once in the relationship, and that was one time too many.

Arriving at the hospital at break neck speed, John was relieved when one of the maternity staff took control. They were ushered straight to maternity, where Anna was examined by the doctor on staff. As her waters had broken, there was no choice but to let nature take it's course and for Anna to deliver the baby. Safe in the knowledge Anna was being well looked after, John stepped outside with the doctor so he could explain in greater detail the situation.

'They are both going to be alright, aren't they?' John questioned almost as soon as they were in the corridor. The man tilting his head to the side and releasing a breath didn't fill John with confidence.

'Anna seems to have suffered from what we call an incompetent cervix.'

'What does that mean?'

'Simply put, the cervix has opened before it was supposed to. This could have happened for any number of reasons.'

John thought he knew the cause, but didn't want to press the man before him for any further explanation. 'So what happens now?'

'You are in the perfect hospital for this sort of situation, Mr Bates. We have a specialised baby unit so once he is born, the baby can be stabilised and treatment can begin immediately.'

John exhaled a shaky breath before asking his next question. It physically hurt to have to utter the words. 'Could our baby die?'

'As I said, he is in the best place, Mr Bates. We have specialised staff trained to deal with premature deliveries and…'

'Could he die?' John reiterated, trying to keep his tone calm and collected, although inside he was feeling anything but. 'Tell me.'

'Thirty one weeks is extremely premature. The baby's organs are still developing. The risk of infection is greater than usual.' The doctor paused for a moment before gently nodding, 'so yes, he could die.'

John could do nothing but look away from the doctor then, biting the inside of his mouth to try and prevent the tears that were threatening to fall. Anna didn't need John like this, she needed him to be strong because if the worst happened…

No. He couldn't think like that. It simply couldn't go that way. Him and Anna. Peanut. They were meant to be a family. The three of them. That was how life was supposed to be.

Walking back into the delivery suite, it was like an arrow through his heart as Anna looked for his gaze. His whole world was there on that bed. Anna's eyes were holding what seemed like a million unshed tears, sweat was glistening her brow. She looked pale. When she reached out to him, John bridged the gap between them in an instant. He would be anything she needed him to be right now.

'What did he say?' she whispered, clasping her fingers around his as if he were her lifeline. God knows, for the past few months she had been his. What could he tell her? John knew the truth would destroy her, yet he couldn't lie. He brought her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

'That we are in the best possible place,' he replied, finding all the strength within him he could to form a smile upon his lips. Anna seemed to relax at his gesture, or become as relaxed as she could be in this situation.

'Mum,' she suddenly blurted out, startling John somewhat. 'Mum and Dad need to know what has happened.'

'You can use your phone in the corridor,' one of the nurses offered, pointing to the door.

'I'm not leaving you, Anna,' John assured her, meeting her gaze with a stern expression.

'But they need to know.' Her tone was desperate, she was clinging on to his hand more tightly. 'Please.'

'Nothing will happen in the time it takes to make a phone call,' the nurse continued with a friendly smile, 'go and call Anna's parents.'

'Alright.' He bent down to press a kiss to Anna's temple. 'I'll be right back.'

Although they were both panic stricken and concerned for their daughter, John convinced Harriet and James to stay where they were and to try and get some sleep, and that he would keep them informed. He hadn't told them of the full enormity of the situation, the last thing Anna would want would be a lot of fuss and if they knew everything they would be at the hospital like a shot.

As he hung up, John sat down and allowed himself a moment to breathe. He thought about calling his own mother, but John didn't want her to worry and knew she wouldn't take no for an answer and would be there. He wondered for a moment if that wouldn't be such a bad idea. Shaking the thought from his mind, John knew who he would call. He needed to tell someone the whole truth, to make sense of it in his own mind if nothing else. Someone who had always been there for him. Like the brother he never had. Scrolling through his contacts, John hit call when he had highlighted the name he wanted.

'Hi Robert, it's John. Have you got a minute?'

* * *

The situation progressed over the next couple of hours. Anna had moved into the stage of being ready to give birth. The sheer amount of people in the room were enough to send her panicking into overdrive, especially when on midwife appointments she had been told there would be three people present at most.

John was positioned behind her, both Anna's hands in his as she leant back against his chest. He had been whispering words of encouragement as the medical staff did all they could to ensure their baby would be delivered safely. But Anna was now thinking and believing the worst. How could she think anything but? A small trolley in the corner of the room was filled with equipment, equipment John was sure was there to revive the baby if needed. It just didn't bear thinking about.

'My baby,' she wailed, the sound unlike any John had ever heard or ever wanted to hear ever again. She turned to John. 'He's not going to be alright is he?'

John didn't reply, the doctor's voice the next sound to fill the room. 'Anna, we can see the head, we need you to push now. This is the last time.'

'I can't,' Anna gasped, leaning her head back against John's shoulder. 'I can't do it anymore.'

'Yes you can,' John breathed in her ear, 'you can do this, Anna. I know you can. You have been brilliant up until now.'

'After three,' the doctor encouraged, 'one, two, three.'

The sound that escaped Anna tore a hole right through John's heart, but as it's echo died down, there was a deafening silence. The baby had been born and John knew what should happen next. A cry, a brand new cry that would soon become the most familiar sound in the world to the both of them. But nothing. He could only watch as the baby, so small, so fragile, was taken from the doctor and placed on the trolley in the corner. John couldn't see their child for the amount of people surrounding him, tubes flying this way and that. But then the feel of a tugging on his shirt, and the reverberation of a voice that usually sounded like the most beautiful music to his ears was ripping his soul in two.

'John, what are they doing? Our baby, I want to hold him.'

'I'm sure we can hold him in a minute, sweetheart,' John tried to reassure her, unable to avert his eyes from the commotion in the corner of the room.

'You did brilliantly, Anna,' one of the nurses said trying to distract them from the events unfolding before their eyes. 'Do you have a name?'

'Dylan,' Anna answered without missing a beat. 'Dylan John Bates.'

It was as if he was answering his mother, like a scene taken from years in the future. As soon as his full name had left her lips, Dylan began to whimper. Not a full blown cry, but a murmur. John decided in that moment it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. Anna had buried her head into John's shoulder upon hearing it, obviously mirroring the relief that was flooding through his veins at this very moment. However, as they got their first glimpse of their son, their moment of relief soon turned to one of turmoil once more. He was wrapped in a blanket and wearing a tiny oxygen mask, and rather than being brought towards them he was being wheeled out of the room.

'We need to get him to the special care unit,' one of the doctors said as Dylan disappeared.

'What is going on?' Anna said, scrambling to leave the bed before one of the nurses took hold of her. 'I need to go with him. I need to go with my son.'

'Anna, calm down,' one of the nurses said, her voice so gentle John didn't know if he was imagining her speaking. All he could do was stare at the door, the door where his son had just been taken away from them. John tried to listen to what the nurse was saying. 'He's been stabilised, and now will go to the special care baby unit.'

'When can I see him?' Anna asked, still gripping on tightly to John's hand as she spoke.

'The medical team will examine him thoroughly now. To check for his heart rate, breathing and various other things. As soon as it is at all possible, you will be able to see your baby.'

'Is he alright?' John asked, his voice sounded so solemn it surprised himself.

'He's very small, and with all premature babies the risk of infection is high,' the nurse explained, 'we'll know more over the next few hours. But now, is it alright for you to leave me with Mum, Dad? Just so I can check she is alright.'

'Erm, yeah,' John replied gruffly, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Anna. 'I'll just be outside.'

'Alright,' Anna nodded, staring straight ahead of her. After kissing her on the cheek, John rose to his feet. As he reached the door, Anna called after him. 'I love you, John.'

Looking over his shoulder, John allowed himself the smallest of smiles upon hearing her words. 'I love you, too.'

'Call my parents for me? Even if it's to leave a message. I know it's late.'

'Of course.'

Once in the corridor, John let the fresher air wash over him. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. He felt different. Life was suddenly different. Not only did he have to come to terms with what just happened and what could happen, he also had to recognise his world had just changed irreversibly, forever. John was a Dad. And whatever the outcome, for the rest of his days he would live knowing he had fathered a child. And how massive that was. Overwhelming even.

But then, the short lived exultation he felt at knowing he had finally been blessed with a child was replaced with the image of his son being wheeled away, his tiny mouth and nose covered with apparatus that was aiding in keeping him alive. And suddenly he felt ashamed for thinking about what becoming a father meant for him.

Anna. She was in that room now and she should have been in there cradling their newborn son in her arms. Yet, she wasn't and nothing could feel more wrong. Anna was born to be a mother, he had seen the joy in her eyes when they had looked into the future and imagined life with their child. She deserved the opportunity to love unconditionally and be loved in the same way back. The love that could only exist between a mother and their child, Anna deserved that.

'John.'

He wondered if he was hearing things at first, the voice had been so soft. But looking up, John's eyes were met with the familiar image of his best friend. He had risen to his feet and was displaying a look of such sincerity and concern that John could no longer keep his emotions inside him. Treading the floor towards his oldest friend, John could do nothing else but fall into his embrace.

'Was that the baby, the one that was just wheeled past?' Robert asked as he wrapped his arms around his friend.

'Yeah,' John sobbed against Robert's shoulder, 'Dylan.'

'Dylan?' Robert pulled away, John met his gaze. 'As in Bob?'

'It was Anna's choice,' John replied, Robert gesturing for them to sit. 'Maybe a slight nod to you on my part.'

Robert smiled weakly before furrowing his brow. 'What happened?'

'Her waters broke,' John shrugged, looking to the floor as he spoke. 'I came back from dropping mum off home and there she was, distressed in the bathroom. We got here and they said there was no way they could hold off the labour.'

'Did they say what caused it?'

'Yes, and I think I know the reason for it.' Anger pooled in his veins as he clenched his hands into fists. 'But I can't divulge it. For my sanity as well as Anna's.'

'Of course,' Robert said understandingly, patting John on the shoulder.

'He's so small,' John continued, his anger seeming to dissipate as thoughts of his son filled his mind. 'I didn't even get a proper look at him. I couldn't tell you what he looks like. Just that he's small.'

'Well, he's in the best possible place.'

'Yeah, people keep telling me that,' John whispered with a cynical nod of the head. 'I need to call my Mum.'

'Let me do that, I'll let her know you'll call in the morning.'

'Thanks.'

'Look, I've been here a couple of hours already and Cora will wonder where I am.' Robert stood up then, John following suit. 'If there is anything you need, absolutely anything then please don't hesitate to ask.'

'Thank you,' John offered Robert his hand. 'To know you have been here means a lot. And sorry for what just happened.'

'Don't be. Not many who would react differently given the circumstances.'

With a knowing look, Robert turned on his heel and began to walk away from John. Looking back to the room where Anna was, John closed his eyes tightly. Brushing the last remnants of his tears from his cheeks, he stood up straight and made the first few steps back towards the room. Suddenly, he remembered he hadn't done the one thing Anna had asked of him. To keep her parents informed. Reaching for his phone, he found James's number and hit call, hoping they would still be awake. He answered within one ring.

'John?'

'Hi,' John said weakly, trying to figure out how he was going to relive the situation out loud, talking to Robert had been tough enough. He decided to go with the basic facts. 'We have a son.'

'Congratulations,' James replied, although his tone held no happiness whatsoever. 'How is Anna?'

'Being examined now but not brilliant, obviously.' John rubbed the back of his neck, sighing deeply. 'The baby has been taken to the special care unit. He was stabilised and then wheeled away from us. Anna hasn't even held him yet.'

'Oh John.' John felt the man's genuine sadness on the other end of the line, grief for his youngest daughter no doubt. 'Look, Harriet is asleep. She is better at this than I am but know we are thinking about you both. And the boy.'

'Thanks. Anna wanted to you both to know.'

'We're staying down here, until we know everything is alright. Jane and Phillip are taking the kids back up north tomorrow.' Before John had a chance to protest, James was talking again. 'We won't take no for an answer.'

'Alright,' John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'She'll probably be happy about that, actually.'

'Excuse me, John.' The nurse appeared from the room. 'Anna is asking for you.'

'I have to go,' John said to James, 'Anna is asking after me. I'll call you in the morning when hopefully we'll know more.'

* * *

The next couple of hours were some of the most tortured John had ever experienced. Anna had been moved to a private room after being looked over. Thankfully, she had suffered no complications although that mattered not one bit to her. All she wanted was to see Dylan and that was all she had been asking for every time a nurse entered the room. John didn't know what to do or say. He felt completely useless. Of course, he was worried sick about Dylan as well. Yet, he was taking on the mantra that no news was good news and so far, nothing had been said further than he was still being examined.

'I wonder if he looks more like me or you,' Anna uttered quite suddenly, not looking at John as she spoke.

'For his sake, you,' John replied, shifting a little closer to her from his position in a chair beside the bed. She chuckled, albeit briefly, at his remark.

'He'll be alright, won't he John?'

The atmosphere turned even colder with her question, John shifting awkwardly in his chair unable to meet her eye. His voice was barely above a murmur as he spoke. 'I hope so, my darling. I certainly hope so.'

'It's all my fault,' Anna sat up, resting her head in her hands. 'Andrew. If I hadn't let him…'

John wasn't having this, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. How could she possibly blame herself when that monster attacker her in the way that he did. John had seen for himself, the man was evil and John wouldn't have someone as perfect as Anna resort to self deprecation as a result of Andrew's actions. He pulled Anna into his embrace as the tears fell freely down her cheeks. He hushed her gently, feeling Anna grasping fistfuls of his shirt in her hands.

'Now, I won't accept that Anna. What he did, it wasn't your fault, it wasn't anybody's fault but Andrew's.'

'But the surgery I needed afterwards, that is the reason we are in this situation. That is the reason our baby is in special care. If I had only listened to my family and walked away, it would never have happened.'

'Anna, I will not allow you to blame yourself for this,' John pulled away from her then, placing his hands on her cheeks. 'It's unfortunate, what has happened but you are not to blame. For any of it. I don't hold you responsible so please, my darling, promise me you won't blame yourself.'

'But John, I…'

'Promise me,' John repeated.

She released a shaky breath before nodding her head. 'I promise.' Taking John by surprise, Anna met his lips in a brief kiss. The mother of his child, her kiss tasted sweeter than it ever had done. They were in this together. 'You won't leave me, will you?'

'Never,' John replied without missing a beat. 'Not until you tell me to.'

In the next moment, the door opened and a nurse with a wheelchair appeared. 'Anna, John. Are you ready to meet your son?'

* * *

'Now, he is still wearing the oxygen mask to help him breathe. We have measured his heart rate, and it is where we would expect it to be. But the risk of infection in babies this little is so high we have to keep him incubated for the foreseeable future.'

Her world was moving at a hundred miles an hour. So much had happened in such a short space of time that Anna couldn't comprehend much at all. All she could see was that her baby was in a special care unit. Not wrapped in her embrace like he should be. The nurse was trying to explain Dylan's condition to her as John wheeled her along in the wheelchair, and she was trying so desperately to keep up. His heart rate was okay, surely that was a good sign? She didn't know. Doctor's were so cryptic. She wanted to ask outright, if Dylan would live or die. But she wasn't sure she would like the answer. She was secretly hoping John might ask, but he had been quiet ever since they had moved to the private room.

'Can we hold him?'

There. That was a reasonable, safe question to ask.

'I'm afraid not. Not yet. But you can touch him, and speak to him. He'll know you are there and may well recognise your voice. He could hear you both from inside the womb.'

They couldn't even hold their newborn baby. One of the most natural things in the world to want to do had been snatched away. Anna knew it was for the best but it still hurt. All at once she was beginning to understand how all John had experienced had shattered the faith he had built in his adolescence. If God existed, how cruel could he be to bestow this upon them? For Anna to not even be allowed to hold her baby in her arms.

'How long will he be in here?' John's voice filled Anna's ears as they were ushered through the double doors that lead to the special care unit.

'It all depends,' the nurse answered. 'It could be days, it could be weeks. The next forty eight hours are critical. It is in these few hours he is most likely to develop infection, which is why we take these precautions.'

Anna couldn't help it then, she had to ask. Clearing her throat, she placed a hand on John's behind hers, causing him to stop. 'Is there a chance we might not take him home?'

'Anna…'

'No John,' Anna interrupted him before looking up at the nurse again. 'I need to know the truth.'

'We haven't detected any infections or difficulties as yet but it is still very early days. He is breathing on his own and his heart rate is steady. But these things can come on very suddenly.'

Anna reiterated her question. 'Is there a chance we might not take him home?'

The nurse looked from Anna, to John then back again. She began to nod, and Anna whimpered at the sight of it. She felt John release a sob behind her too and suddenly remembered she wasn't in this alone. Slowly rising to her feet, she pushed the chair out of the way and placed a hand on his cheek.

'Come on, Dad,' she said weakly, taking hold of his hand in hers. 'Our son needs us.'

She felt John rest his forehead against hers before kissing her there. Once Anna was steady on her feet, the nurse lead them to where Dylan was incubated. She kept her fingers wrapped tightly around John's as they were brought to a stop outside a room. As the door was opening, the first thing Anna heard was beeping, which she took to be the baby's heartbeat being monitored. Then the nurse moved aside, and all Anna could see was the incubator. And then, the little tiny being in the middle of it.

Letting go of John's hand, without a word she approached the small transparent box. He was so small, so tiny Anna could hardly believe he was her baby. She had noticed John had hung back a little and she knew he was allowing her a moment to meet him first. He was wearing a small blue woolly hat, and had been put in a nappy. All Anna could think about was how tiny he was.

'You can put your hands through here,' the nurse explained, interrupting Anna's thoughts and pointing to two holes in the side of the incubator.

Anna nodded, although she didn't take her eyes off of the baby. She manoeuvred her hands into the plastic gloves, but hesitated before touching her son. He stirred a little at her movements, and that in turn became the most magical moment of her life. Or so she thought, until she reached up her hand to stroke his head. Everything suddenly made sense. Anna knew why she had been put on this earth. She was touching her son, and it was the most magnificent sensation she had ever experienced.

'John,' she gasped, looking to him for the briefest of moments and seeing a faint smile on his face before turning her attentions back to Dylan. 'Our baby. Come and look.'

He approached with caution, Anna noted. John stood opposite her, properly taking in the sight of the little person he had had a hand in creating for the first time. She couldn't help but lift her head and see the expression on John's face. It was unlike any she had ever seen before in her life. She would never usually use this expression to describe John, but he looked absolutely beautiful as he regarded their son with the utmost care and attention. She hadn't noticed until know he had placed his hands in the gloves on his side of the incubator and was stroking Dylan's arm with his index finger.

'God Anna, he's perfect,' John finally spoke, 'so utterly perfect.'

Anna looked to his tiny leg and saw the hospital tag on his ankle which nearly overtook the whole of his miniature limb. 'Baby Smith' was emblazoned across it, Anna looking over her shoulder to the nurse immediately after reading it.

'Can you change his tag?' she asked, 'when you have the time. His name is Dylan. Dylan John Bates. Not Smith.'

'Of course we can do that for you, Anna. I'll give you a moment alone.'

'And then there were three,' John said, meeting Anna's gaze across the incubator.

She hummed her approval, smiling broadly as she drank in the sight of Dylan. 'Me and my two boys. The way it should be.'

What happened next completely took Anna's breath away. She was watching as John became acquainted with their son, and as his finger was stroking his arm, he took them both by surprise when he wrapped his little hand around John's index finger. The noise that left John was somewhere between a cry and a laugh, he searching for her eyes as it happened.

'Wow,' John breathed, gently moving his finger and in turn moving Dylan's little hand as well.

'He knows you are his Daddy, alright.'

And in that moment, Anna saw a tiny glimmer of hope. A belief that just maybe they could get through this. Dylan was responding to his parents, showing a willingness to bond with them that was instinctual. He was the sum of their dreams and had so much to live for, so much love waiting for him if only his little body could fight it's way through these first few hours of life.

It was very early days, Anna wasn't fooling herself about that but with John by her side, she already knew the burden she had to carry was that little bit less. Their son had to pull through. He just had to.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N- Another update that I hope has been sensitive to the trauma a premature birth can bring. It was never my intention to bring intense angst upon Anna and John. In planning this story, these past two chapters had been on the cards for a while as it was something that had never been explored before. **

**I don't see an end for this story at present, although I have a clear path for it in my mind that some may find surprising but I hope you come along for the ride. Reading your reviews and seeing the amount of follows really gives you the encouragement to write, so thank you. **

**Something finally happens in this chapter. **

**Disclaimer-** _Downton belongs to Julian Fellowes/ ITV/ Carnival._

* * *

The initial hours after Dylan's birth passed slowly for Anna as he was treated in the special care unit. It had been a very frightening time. Seeing her baby connected to all those wires and monitors, he was so small, weighing in at a little over four pounds, but he was fighting. James and Harriet had visited the day after he was born, the doubts that lingered over his future meaning she wanted him to be visited by as many family members as possible. Helen had also met her grandson, and really perked Anna up in her afternoon with them. Her positivity was a much needed ray of sunshine in what was the blackest period in Anna's life. Dylan had come through the first few days of his life, why couldn't he come through a few more? '_Take things just one day at a time_' was her advice, and although it was a cliché, Anna found it to be the most helpful she had ever been given. It had never made more sense to her than it did now.

What confused them both was how Anna's condition hadn't been anticipated. At her midwife appointments during the pregnancy Anna had voiced her concerns in regard to her history, but every time she had been told that everything was progressing normally and there was no reason to take any particular extra care. Anna had felt fine throughout. Yet, this didn't help and John was angry in those first few days and she could tell, although he never voiced this to Anna. Robert had been his sounding board, she had noticed he often left for a breath of fresh air to call his friend. Their questions had been deflected with the same sentence, that Anna's particular complication was hard to detect, especially during a first pregnancy.

John had been a tower of strength, even though Anna knew he was holding everything in for her. She would watch him as he studied Dylan, as if he was committing every hair on his head, every crease in his skin, every single breath to memory. He was probably John's only chance of a child as well, what with her the wrong side of thirty and the miracle Dylan was conceived at all never far from the forefront of Anna's mind.

She thought she couldn't love John anymore than she already did, but John as a father was something she hadn't bargained for. His absolute devotion to the little boy in the incubator affected Anna in ways she couldn't describe. On one occasion, a few days into his stay in the special care unit, Anna had returned to her room for a rest, but she returned to discover a scene she would take with her to her dying day. The first thing she saw was the blue teddy bear John had bought Dylan that sat just inside his incubator, however her view of her son was obscured by her boyfriend. John had his back to the door, and was staring intently at Dylan, but the sounds she could hear took her breath away. John was singing.

'_Little darlin', it's been a long, cold, lonely winter,_' he sang softly as he carefully stroked Dylan's head. _'Little darlin', it feels like years since it's been here.' _

As John sang the chorus, Anna felt a tear roll down her cheek yet again when she thought she had cried all the tears she possibly could. He still hadn't noticed her presence behind him and she was grateful. To have never witnessed the beautiful scene before her would have broken her heart without her even realising it.

'_Here comes the sun, and I say, it's alright,_' John continued, Anna detected a smile on his face from her offset viewpoint. _'Here comes the sun and I say, it's alright.' _

He stopped singing, breaking the magical spell that had befallen the room. Anna decided to make him aware of her presence then, slowly moving behind John and placing her hands on his shoulders. He visibly started at her contact, looking over his shoulder before she noticed something was amiss. Furrowing her brow, Anna took a closer look at Dylan before looking back at John. His face was beaming as the penny dropped.

'He's breathing on his own?'

'Yes,' John confirmed her suspicions with a nod of the head. 'The tube that remains is the one for his food, and the pads on his chest are still monitoring his heart and breathing rate, but he is breathing on his own.'

Anna loved that John had really taken an interest in what the doctors were telling them, and the equipment their son had been connected to. Knowledge was their greatest tool against the anxiety of having their son in such a situation but Anna had been unable to take it all in, yet John explaining everything to her had made her understand it more easily.

'Oh John,' Anna gasped, placing a hand on the top of the incubator. 'How long have I been gone?'

'A few hours,' John shrugged, turning his attentions back to Dylan. 'I hope you don't mind me not waking you when they told me, but I thought you could do with the rest. You've been keeping a vigil for so long, I thought I'd take over.'

'It's fine,' Anna assured John, resting her head on his shoulder as he continued to explain the developments of their son's progress.

'He's still trying to find his feet in regulating his own temperature, we've been so lucky there have been no other complications and obviously, feeding is still to come but this is a massive step in the right direction.'

'We can hold him soon?'

That was the illusive milestone that Anna craved to reach. She craved it more than anything in her whole life. John's answer to her question nearly knocked her clean off of her feet.

'Kangaroo care, have you heard of that?' John began, removing his hands from the incubator so he could properly face Anna. She shook her head. She had never heard of it. 'Basically, he is laid against your chest under your shirt, skin to skin and it helps to regulate his temperature outside of the incubator.'

'That sounds wonderful,' Anna breathed, looking down at Dylan who seemed to be looking up at them from his position. 'When?'

'Well, if his next examination goes well, the doctor thinks this evening.'

'Oh my God, John.'

'I know,' John rested his head against Anna's.

'Can you do it too?'

'I can,' John nodded, 'but I felt it was more important that you were the first to hold him. Dylan knows you better than anybody, having been close to you for a little over seven months. He needs to bond with you, and this method of holding him can aid in your producing milk and things like that.'

'I'm not breastfeeding.' Anna was adamant about that. Jane never had, and it was never something that had particularly appealed to her. She felt John chuckling beside her before the unmistakable feel of his lips against her temple.

'Alright, well we'll need to see about finding our own formula milk for him. The nurse said they were thinking of trying to get him to take milk from the breast,' John tilted his head before adding, 'or bottle in the next few days.'

'So he's going to be alright?' Anna felt hopeful. All these developments were happening so suddenly. Perhaps she should have gone for an afternoon nap a few days ago, instead of finally relenting today.

'It's still early days,' John's words quashed her enthusiasm somewhat. 'But you will most probably get to hold him later. That's a beautiful thing, isn't it?'

'It certainly is.'

* * *

A trip to his mother's to update her on Dylan's condition in person was John's next course of action. He left Anna in a more hopeful mood than she had been in for quite some time. It was highly probable she would be able to hold Dylan later that day and to John, that was the most important thing in the world. It didn't matter when he got to hold his son, the only thing he cared about was that Anna could hold their baby boy in her arms. It was what he was living for at the moment.

Charles Carson has been ever so understanding of the situation. He had told John to only return when he felt it was convenient to and that he would pick up John's workload for the time being. His regular themed gigs had been proving popular, much to the delight of Charles. John was hopeful, with Dylan's progress, albeit slow progress, he would be able to pick up some shifts again in the next couple of weeks.

Pausing on the pavement as he regarded his mother's house, John took a deep breath before walking the path to her front door. He knew she would berate him for leaving Anna to come and see him but he didn't care. Some news needed to be passed on in person and simply put, he needed to see his Mum.

Truth be told, the past week had put a lot of things into perspective for John. It had showed him how precious and how delicate life could be. Nothing was certain, anything could happen. He needed to appreciate those he had in his life and those who loved him, and none more so than Anna. The smallest part of him had feared she would push him away in the aftermath of Dylan's birth, her grief at their son's plight might make her become withdrawn and he would have understood that. But she hadn't. She had leant on John, had turned to him and he did everything in his power to prove worthy.

And, if he was honest with himself, their son being born had made John realise he wanted to be the one thing Anna most wanted him to be. He could pinpoint the exact moment he realised. It had been when he saw the tag, with the words 'Baby Smith' and it made him too painfully aware of their situation. They were a family, yet they didn't all have the same surname. And that wasn't right.

John rang the doorbell and allowed his mother her usual few moments to reach the door.

'Johnny,' she exclaimed upon opening the door to reveal him standing there. 'What's wrong? Is Anna alright? Dylan? What's going on?'

'Relax Mum,' John set about to alleviate her fears. 'Both of them are fine, I just wanted to see you.'

'Get away with you lad,' Helen said, pushing him away from the door. 'Get back to that girl and baby of yours. They need you more than me.'

'Mum, I needed to speak to you. And I'd rather do it face to face than over the phone.'

Helen relented then, stepping aside to allow John into the house. They walked in silence to the kitchen, instinct telling his mother to put the kettle on to boil. John smiled as they went about their usual ritual when he visited.

'So, how is the boy?'

'Breathing on his own,' John said with all the pride he could muster.

'Oh son, that's wonderful news.'

'He's not out of the woods yet,' John quickly added, for want of not getting his own hopes up as well as his mother's, 'but it's one milestone he's reached.'

'I bet Anna is thrilled.'

'She is, but that's not the best part. We think that Anna will be able to finally hold him tonight.'

'God John, that's brilliant,' Helen cooed, moving to her son and wrapping him in her embrace. 'Anna must be so excited.'

'She is, which is why I can't stay for too long,' John said, looking at his watch. 'I don't want to miss anything.'

'I don't even know why you are here in the first place, lad,' Helen shook her head as she searched the cupboard for two mugs.

'Because I needed your advice.'

'I'm listening,' Helen assured him, turning to face him from her position beside the kitchen counter.

'I've been thinking of proposing to Anna.'

'Oh, what took you so long?' Helen said with exasperation dripping from her tone. 'At last, he gets it.'

John could do nothing but chuckle. 'You think it's a good idea?'

'Yes. It's the best idea you ever had, son.'

'Right, well that's all I needed to know.'

'Did you really think I'd tell you not to?' Helen asked as she placed a steaming cup of tea in front of her son.

'Well no.'

'There you go then,' Helen said, cocking her head to the side slightly. 'When are you thinking of doing it?'

John thought for a moment. He didn't want to propose at the hospital. To have the memory of it tarnished by the situation Dylan was in at the moment. He didn't want any bad memories to accompany what he hoped would be a special moment. 'I think, once we know Dylan is going to be alright.'

'Probably best,' Jean agreed.

'If he is going to be alright…'

'Of course he will be,' Jean interrupted, placing her hand over John's across from her at the table. 'Perhaps wait until you are home?' Nodding his head, John lifted his drink to his lips. 'But we both know son, the two of ye should already be engaged.'

Meeting her gaze, John slowly brought his mug to the table. 'Perhaps. But it's crazy. This time last year Anna and I were commuter and busker, now we have just had a son and are living together.'

'Love doesn't recognise time, my boy. If you feel it, you know and it doesn't matter if you've been together one week or one year. It's a feeling another person gives you, it simply feels right. And I believe if you think about it, you've known Anna is right for you from day one.'

* * *

He took a step back, watching the scene unfold before his eyes. Anna was sat in the armchair in Dylan's room, watching in anticipation as the nurse prepared him to be placed in his mother's arms. John had dreamt about this moment, the first time he would see Anna hold their baby. Granted, in his imaginings it had been right after giving birth, the memories of a painful labour immediately evaporating once she had looked into the eyes of her baby. But, it hadn't materialised like that and now this moment seemed even sweeter.

All the waiting they had had to do in preparation for this had seen to that. The uncertainty over whether he would make it through his first night, the tears that had been shed, the sheer pain it brought not even being able to touch him. And now for the first time in his life, Dylan would properly feel contact with his mother.

As Anna got herself ready to receive him, John watched as the nurse took careful steps towards her with Dylan in her arms. He was still wearing his woolly blue hat. It was seeing him in the nurses arms that really brought home to John how small Dylan was. But he had proved to be a little fighter over the last few days and he was about to be given his reward, a cuddle with his Mummy.

The look in his girlfriend's eye as Dylan edged ever closer was unlike any he had seen before, not even when she had looked at John. He wasn't stupid, John knew the love Anna felt for their son would go far beyond any she had felt for him but John didn't mind that. To know he had played a part in making this happen for Anna, becoming a mother, when she never thought it would, filled his heart with such happiness and a sensation mere words could never describe.

'Here we are then, Anna. How does a cuddle with your son, sound?'

The moment he was passed into Anna's arms John felt his heart constrict in his chest. It would stay with him forever. There, sitting in the armchair was the centre of his universe and it was so overwhelming, John was glad of the support of the wall behind him. He didn't want to do it, but he couldn't help it. John felt a stinging in the back of his eyes and he found there was nothing he could do to stop a solitary escaping and rolling down his cheek.

Anna was holding Dylan now and the nurse had left the room. It was just the three of them again but John didn't want to speak for fear of ruining this most perfect moment. He was transfixed by the sight of the two of them together. Anna was whispering to Dylan, telling him how much she loved him and how long she had waited to hold him in her arms. His little face appeared to be peering up at her, drinking in the sight of his mother from close up. And it was the one of the most beautiful sights John had ever seen.

She looking up at John and making eye contact with him was almost too much for him to handle at this precise moment. He instantly stood up straighter when their eyes met, Anna smiling gently at him. John couldn't help but reciprocate, how could he not smile when everything he had ever dreamt of was unfolding before him.

'You know Dylan, I think Daddy should come over here and join us.'

The idea seemed a tempting one, John had to admit. Especially now the initial introduction between mother and son was complete. He found himself nodding, and in the next moment was bridging the gap between himself and his family.

'Here, sit on the arm,' Anna suggested, gently moving up a little bit to make room for John.

He exhaled a shaky breath before sitting down where Anna had indicated, shuffling a little bit to make himself more comfortable. John's eyes were drawn to that of his son who had moved a little upon his arrival. He felt a little guilty to have interrupted this most precious of events but that was soon forgotten as John placed an arm around Anna shoulders. She cuddled in closer to him before John brought his other hand to stroke Dylan's cheek with his index finger. His own first contact with his son.

'God, he's so soft,' John gasped, a laugh escaping him and Anna upon hearing his words. His movements were tentative as he moved his hand to rest on the blanket that covered Dylan's back. 'This feels amazing. To hold you both like this.'

'I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for this, rather than a week,' Anna said, carefully bringing a hand to rest on John's cheek. 'I love you so much.'

She was looking at him, really looking at him and for a moment John forgot to breathe. How could he have ever thought for one millisecond this beautiful, perfect woman would ever turn out to be like his ex wife was beyond him.

'I love you too.'

As John leant in to kiss Anna, a whimper from the little creature in her arms caused them to cease their movements and look to him. John couldn't help but laugh as Anna gently rocked Dylan as best she could until he had settled.

'Suppose I should get used to this little man interrupting us when I try to kiss you, eh?'

'I guess so,' Anna agreed with a laugh. 'But you don't mind, do you?'

'God no,' John shook his head, gently placing a kiss upon the top of Dylan's woolly blue hat. 'I don't mind one bit.'

* * *

As the days turned into weeks and the year moved through October, Dylan was becoming stronger and stronger. Anna appreciated all the little firsts. Bathing him for the first time, being able to feed him without the use of a tube, changing his nappy. All these things were part an parcel of being a mother but Anna decided she would never take one single thing for granted, not now. Her baby boy was far too precious for that.

Seeing Dylan in John's arms for the first time had been particularly special. He was almost swallowed up in his father's huge embrace, and in that second Anna knew John would make sure no harm would ever come to her son. A picture of the moment which Anna had taken had soon become her phone wallpaper. One of this little things Anna had been waiting for upon the arrival of their son.

Anna knew that she and John were lucky. Dylan had suffered little to no complications, just that he was so small and his breathing in the first few days. As soon as he had overcome that, there was really no turning back. He took from the bottle a few days after Anna had first held him, and in turn with his growing and gaining weight he developed more body fat to keep himself warm. He was thriving having been born at just short of thirty two weeks.

Anna's parents and Helen had both been in to see Dylan regularly, now being able to hold him as well. She knew seeing him in the arms of his family that Dylan really would want for nothing, that he would he be loved and spoilt rotten, no doubt. Mary and Robert had come in on a few occasions too, as had Gwen and Daisy. It was with the support of her family and friends that Anna was given the strength to nurse Dylan to health.

The morning they were told that they could take Dylan home, some five weeks after his birth, was both exciting and scary at the same time. The nurses had been nothing short of angelic in the way they had cared for Dylan and in turn, Anna and John as well. They were always there any time Anna needed something, to reassure her that her son was in the best possible place. They had been so understanding in the beginning when both didn't know how this complication could have been missed during pregnancy. However, to know the nurses wouldn't be there at all times of day made Anna feel anxious. But one look at John and she knew that she could do anything, so long as he was by her side.

That morning, John arrived at the hospital carrying the car seat they had purchased a few weeks previously. Everything seemed so real all of a sudden. In his other hand was a bouquet of flowers which Anna had asked him to buy as a token of appreciation for the nurses in the special care unit. Once they were handed over, and goodbyes and thanks were exchanged with all those who had aided in bringing Dylan to this point, John set about working out how to place his son in his seat.

Approaching the chair from various angles, Anna couldn't help but smile as this six foot man tried to delicately place this five pound baby in his car seat. Once he was happy Dylan was positioned appropriately, John set about securing the straps. All his movements were careful, gentle and Anna loved him all the more for it.

'He won't fall out of there, right?'

Rolling her eyes, Anna inspected John's work before tapping Dylan lightly on the end of his nose. 'He's quite safe.'

'Right.' Anna felt John place his arm around her shoulders as they both looked down at Dylan looking up at them. 'Lets go home, shall we?'

He drove so slowly, Anna wondered if John was quite well. Robert's BMW, which John had adopted as his own, had probably never moved at a slower pace. From her position in the back, Dylan's car seat having to be in the front for safety reasons, Anna could read the speedometer and make out John barely went above twenty five miles an hour. Finally reaching the flat, Anna realised this was it. They were to fend for themselves. Herself, John and their baby boy.

Anna noticed John never took his eyes from Dylan as he carried him in his seat from the car to the front door of their flat.

'Are you alright?' Anna asked, placing a hand on John's forearm.

'Perfectly,' John whispered back as he searched for his keys in his pocket, finding them before placing the front door key in the lock. 'Just can't believe this is finally happening.'

'Believe,' Anna said with all the sincerity she could muster.

John gave her a smile that made her knees weaken, before opening the door. What they saw upon arriving home completely took Anna's breath away. Light blue helium balloons were dotted here, there and everywhere. Every kitchen counter and the table was covered with platters of food and drink. And in the living room were seated every single person who meant something to John and Anna.

'Welcome home,' came Robert's booming voice as they crossed the threshold.

'What the…' John gasped as his friend approached him with an outstretched hand.

'We wanted to give Dylan a proper welcome home,' Harriet explained as she stood up and approached them. 'I saw Robert at the hospital last week and asked him if he had any ideas and when he said he had a spare key to the flat, the ball was set in motion.'

'This is so overwhelming,' Anna said with a laugh in her voice, looking around the living room to see Helen, her brother and sister and their families, her mum and dad, Robert, Cora and Mary, Gwen, Daisy and much to her surprise, Ethel. She was grateful John had such a large living room.

'Can I hold him?' Molly asked as two hands reached into the car seat Dylan was currently occupying, which John had placed on the coffee table. Anna watched as John bent down, taking Molly's hand in his and control of the situation.

'Now sweetheart, I think it's probably best for Dylan if his Mummy takes him out of the car seat to settle him down first, but you can definitely have a cuddle later.'

'Okay,' Molly said, trying to hide her disappointment. Anna smiled as John swept the little girl in his arms.

'But you can give John all the cuddles you want.' This seemed to please Molly as she wrapped her little arms around John's neck before he set about greeting all of those gathered.

'So come on, Anna,' Jane said as she moved to stand beside her as she carefully pulled Dylan from his chair. 'Lets have a look at my little nephew.'

Once in her arms, Dylan wriggled a little bit before settling into his mother's embrace. It really did amaze her how quickly he became comfortable in her arms and warmed her heart more than she could ever say. They were already forming a bond despite his difficult beginnings and Anna had to admit that motherhood agreed with her.

'Oh Anna, I know I said this at the hospital last week but he's beautiful,' Jane cooed, stroking his little face with her finger.

'I still haven't seen the little one,' Cora pointed out, stepping a little closer for her first glimpse of the Baby Bates. 'My, he is a little heartbreaker. Are sure he's yours, John?'

'Ha Ha,' John said from the kitchen, having found his way there. 'The first doubting my paternity joke of the day. I'll have you know I am keeping count.'

'Nah, he's definitely John's' Robert said, pointing at Dylan. 'This lad arrived several weeks early and I've never known John be late for anything. Like father, like son.'

As laughter rippled around the room, John found Anna's gaze and the two of them shared a knowing look. This is what they had been waiting for, for Dylan to be in the presence of everybody who loved him the most, but most importantly, for him to be at home. Anna had been looking forward to a peaceful first day back, just the three of them, her little family, but seeing everybody here and so excited, she wouldn't change this moment for the world.

* * *

John had never been more grateful for the balcony attached to his flat that overlooked the Thames. It had been quite an afternoon and some fresh air was definitely needed. What he had promised to do when they finally got Dylan home was running through his mind and had been for the whole day. Having bought a ring a few days previously, he had it all planned out, how he wanted to ask Anna to be his wife but seeing everybody in their home had put the brakes on that.

However, he was pleased that James was present. He knew Anna would call her parents when they had arrived home and it had been his plan to ask to speak to her father, to tell him of his intentions and in the tradition of asking a woman for her hand in marriage, to seek his permission. Now, as he let the fresh air fill his lungs, he was about to ask James to join him when someone else appeared at the balcony doors.

'John.'

Whoever he had expected to approach him, it hadn't been Ethel. 'Hi.'

'Look, I know I've kept my distance but I just couldn't leave without letting you know how sorry I am.'

He thought back to that night that had nearly ruined his relationship with Anna, when Ethel had kissed him. John shrugged. 'Alcohol makes us act in ways we wouldn't normally. I know that more than most.'

'I've made my peace with Anna, and I just wanted to make mine with you as well. I miss her like crazy, and the times we spent with Gwen and Daisy. I've just been too ashamed to show my face. I've cut down on the drinking, and the wild nights out. Time to be an adult.'

'Well, I appreciate you taking the time to apologise. No harm was done, in the end.'

'It's the least I could do,' Ethel smiled, John smiling back before looking beyond her into the flat to see James alone in the kitchen.

'Look, why don't the three of you come around one evening in the week, say Tuesday?' John suggested, deciding in that moment life was too short to hold grudges. Especially with all that had happened over the past few weeks. 'I never work Tuesday evenings and maybe I could cook for you all. I know Anna would like that. Time for you, Daisy and Gwen to properly fuss over Dylan.'

'Alright,' Ethel agreed with a nod.

A beat of silence passed then before John added, trying to lighten the mood, 'look, I know I am irresistible but probably best not to try and kiss me again, eh?'

'Oh believe me, I've learnt my lesson,' Ethel replied with a laugh. 'I know how lucky we both are to have Anna, and how much she needs you. I won't do anything to jeopardise that again.'

Following her back inside, John made a beeline for James, who was busy perusing the platter of sandwiches on the kitchen counter. He noticed John's presence beside him and picked up a sandwich, before thrusting it under John's nose.

'Does that look like salmon to you?' James asked, his face turned into a grimace.

'No, I think that's ham,' John assured him.

'Good, can't be doing with all that fancy stuff,' James said gruffly as he placed the sandwich on his plate. 'That son of yours is certainly getting his fair share of attention.'

'He certainly is,' John agreed, looking over to the armchair where he was placed in Molly and Toby's laps, Anna nearby to support them. Camera's were going off everywhere, capturing the moment the cousins, and Harriet and James's grandchildren, first met each other. Safe in the knowledge they weren't garnering any attention themselves, John turned his attentions back to Anna's father. 'Look James, I was wondering if I might have a word. About Anna.'

'Of course lad,' James said as he piled his plate with sausage rolls.

'I'll come right out and say it,' John inhaled a deep breath before continuing, 'is it alright if I ask Anna to marry me?'

As James looked up, John heard Anna's voice calling him from the living room. 'John, can you heat up a bottle for Dylan? It's nearly time for his next feed.'

'Of course, my love,' John answered, watching as she looked away again before meeting James's gaze. 'Well, what do you think?'

'I think it's about time, lad,' James answered, 'you'll make her so happy.'

'Well, I certainly hope so,' John walked to the fridge and took out one of the bottles he had prepared before he left for the hospital that morning then placing it in the microwave.

'Of course you have my blessing. Bet you were planning to do it today and I suppose you could have done without all this fuss when you came home?'

'Maybe,' John cocked his head to the side, regarding the scene before him as his mother took her grandson in her arms, placing his muslin over her shoulder. It looked like Nanny Helen would be feeding Dylan. 'But it's been lovely having everyone here.'

* * *

It was nearly the evening before Anna and John had said goodbye to their last guest, finally leaving them alone with their son. John had insisted he could hold the fort when Anna had expressed her desire for a bubble bath. She promised to be out in time to give Dylan his next feed and was glad John didn't want to deny her that opportunity, she was keeping to her promise of not taking one single thing for granted.

It felt like heaven as she let the warm water cascade over her body. She had been home since Dylan had been in hospital, but such luxuries as this had been the farthest thing from her mind as she fretted over her son's future. Now she was safe in the knowledge he was healthy and thriving, it was time to get back to some sense of normality. Or with their son now home, find what their new normality would be.

In the silence of the bathroom, she smiled as she heard John's booming voice as he chatted to their son. It appeared like he was giving him the 'grand tour' of their home and it made Anna's heart melt. He was explaining to Dylan about the musical instruments he owned, and how he couldn't wait to teach him how to play them. John then must have taken him to the wall where his music memorabilia was displayed, as she heard a chorus of _Imagine _by John Lennon echo through the wall. She laughed as he found a football match on television, and assured Dylan he would be a Manchester United supporter like his Dad. Then all went silent for a while, just the sound of the commentators could be heard before Dylan's whimpers filled the air. Anna took this as her cue that he was ready for his dinner.

Once changed into her pyjama's, Anna couldn't wait a moment longer to be reunited with her boys. Walking into the living room, she was surprised to see some candles lit in the corner of the room, and the lights had been dimmed. Furrowing her brow, she looked to the kitchen to see John preparing Dylan's bottle, her back to them.

'John?' she questioned, walking further into the room.

'I got him ready for bed and put a fresh bib on him,' John said, not turning around from his position in the kitchen.

Anna noticed Dylan lying happily in his Moses basket on the stand by the sofa. Walking towards him, Anna took her son into her arms, grabbing his muslin from the arm of the sofa as she went. It wasn't until she was sitting down that Anna noticed the bib Dylan was wearing wasn't one she recognised. It was red, but then Anna read the writing on it and felt the air leave her lungs. She had to re read what it said several times before it sunk in. She could hardly believe her eyes.

'_Mummy,' _it read, _'will you marry my Daddy?' _After reading the script for what seemed like the tenth time, Anna was now certain that was what it said. She wasn't seeing things.

'Oh John,' she gasped, placing a hand over her mouth. Looking over her shoulder, she saw John approaching her carrying a small box in his hand. She was a mere spectator as John took Dylan from her arms, carefully placing him back in his basket for a moment then kneeling down before her. He opened the box to reveal a light blue sapphire, surrounded by diamonds, set upon a white gold band. 'It's beautiful.'

'This is where I want to be,' John began, his voice choked with emotion as he looked up at Anna. She reached out a trembling hand to stroke his cheek, hardly able to believe this was happening. All her dreams were coming true all at once and it was such an incredible feeling. 'Here with you, and Dylan of course. Anna, will you marry me?'

'Yes, of course I will' she breathed, moving her hand to tangle in the hair at John's temple.

'You will?' John whispered back.

'It took you long enough to ask.'

John released a laugh at her words as he slipped the ring on her finger. 'Funnily enough, that's what your Dad and my mother said.' Leaning up on his knees, Anna felt John wrap his arms around her waist and pull her closer to him. He rested his forehead against hers, a gesture which completely took her breath away. 'Thank you.'

'For what?'

'Well, for agreeing to be my wife but not only that, for giving me Dylan. You are the most amazing woman I have ever met, these past few weeks have cemented that for me.'

'I couldn't have done it without you,' Anna replied, looking to Dylan in his basket and smiling.

'Well I am here to stay,' John assured her, pressing his lips lightly against his fiancée's. 'For good and proper.'


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N A dollop of fluff for you all. Thanks for your continued support of this story. **

**Disclaimer-** Same as chapters 1-23...

* * *

'Wouldn't you like to get married back up north?' Gwen asked as she carefully rocked Dylan in her arms. Tuesday night had arrived and the girls were around for their evening with Anna and Dylan, John keeping to his promise and currently visiting the supermarket to buy some supplies for cooking them dinner. Daisy was beside Anna on the sofa, Gwen and Dylan were occupying John's armchair and Ethel was making herself comfortable on a bean bag next to her.

'Not really,' Anna shook her head, the scene before her warming her heart as she watched her best friend become better acquainted with her son. 'This is my home now, and my family will happily come down for the wedding. They know I am happy here.'

'One couple in this magazine got married on their own private island,' Ethel cooed as she read one of Anna's bridal magazines.

'I don't think our budget will stretch to that,' Anna replied as she filled her friends glasses with more wine, and her own with water.

Daisy chimed in then. 'But you do want a big wedding, yes?'

'Who doesn't?' Anna shrugged, resuming her position on the sofa next to Daisy. 'I'd be lying if I didn't want a little fuss made. Maybe a hotel where everything can be done under one roof.'

Just then the door opened, causing Dylan to stir a little in Gwen's arms. John appeared, carrying two shopping bags and his keys in his mouth. Anna was surprised to feel a flutter in her stomach upon setting eyes on him even now, a year into their relationship. He offered her wink, looked in the direction of his son before treading the carpet to the kitchen, placing the shopping on the counter.

'Good evening ladies,' he said as he walked back towards Anna, leaning down over the sofa to meet her lips in a kiss before regarding the other women in the room. 'How are we all?'

'Very much looking forward to what you are going to cook for us this evening,' Daisy said in response, Anna taking John's hand in hers as he remained in his position behind the sofa.

'Anna's ring is very impressive John,' Ethel remarked, Anna looking over to her friend and smiling as she saw Ethel looking down at the magazine she was reading, still on the page of the couple who got married on an island. 'Must have set you back a fair bit.'

'I think you'd all agree she's worth it.' Anna searched for John's gaze as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand. 'I hope spaghetti bolognaise is alright.'

John let go of Anna's hand, she disappointed at the loss of contact and releasing a sigh. She heard his footsteps moving back towards the kitchen.

'John's spag bol is amazing,' Anna insisted, Dylan whimpering catching her attention. 'He is due his feed.'

'Can I do it?' Gwen requested sheepishly, gently rocking the baby in her arms to try and settle him.

'Of course,' Anna rose to her feet, 'I'll go and heat up a bottle.'

As her friends began to chat amongst themselves, Dylan seemingly being settled by Gwen and now Ethel who had risen from her position on the bean bag to talk to the baby, Anna made her way to the kitchen. She smiled at the most domesticated of actions, John putting the shopping away as she prepared their son a bottle. It was a scene she thought at times wouldn't happen, particularly when Dylan was in the special care unit. She had decided to savour every little moment.

'Everyone alright?' John whispered as he noticed Anna approaching him.

'Yeah, it's just like old times,' Anna regarded the scene in the living room over her shoulder, Ethel now holding Dylan, he looking up at her intently as she spoke to him. 'Thank you, for how you've been with Ethel. She really has felt awful.'

John shrugged before turning to look at Anna with a smirk. 'I am irresistible I suppose.'

'You certainly are,' Anna agreed with a smile, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, John moving to place a kiss upon her temple.

'Hey, hungry people over here,' Daisy called, 'save the canoodling for when we've left and get cooking, John.'

'You have your orders,' Anna removed her arm from John. 'Best get moving, Mr Bates.'

Once Dylan was fed and settled, John had almost finished cooking dinner for everybody. The mood was jovial as John chatted with Anna and her friends, this really only their third or fourth meeting all together after the business with Ethel. He was charm personified, Anna knew because John understood how much these three women meant to her. Andrew had never got involved with Anna's friends, never given them the time of day.

'The proposal sounded very romantic,' Daisy remarked as she looked at Anna's ring for what must have been the thousandth time. She sighed. 'I'm never going to find a man.'

Ethel sniggered. 'No, especially if you keep insisting we go to Sugar and Spice.'

'You girls still go there?' John asked with a smile, thinking about his old place of work.

'The security guard you used to work with is dead gorgeous,' Daisy said, 'the dark haired one.'

'Thomas?' John asked, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

'Yeah, he's lovely.'

'Oh, I don't think he's your sort of bloke, Daisy,' John continued, looking at Anna with a knowing smile. She understood what her fiancé was insinuating.

'Yeah, he's way out of my league,' Daisy agreed, swirling her wine around in her glass before downing the remnants.

'Yes, you are leagues apart,' Anna replied before a sound from Dylan's moses basket made her lift her head. 'He might need a change.'

As Anna moved to get up, John beat her to it and placed a hand on her shoulder. 'You sit and chat to your friends. I'll go and see what's up with the boy.'

Nodding, Anna remained in her seat as John moved towards Dylan and lifted him from his resting place. Anna felt her heart constrict in her chest as she observed John lift Dylan into his arms, instantly settling him with his smooth tone of voice.

'Yep, we have a definite situation in the nappy area,' John grimaced, before pointing towards the bedroom. 'I'll take him in there and sort him out.'

'Anna, he's perfect,' Gwen whispered as John and Dylan disappeared into the bedroom.

'Yeah, Dylan is quite cute isn't he?'

'Dylan? I was talking about John.'

* * *

John watched with a smile on his face as Cora fussed over Dylan, Anna looking on. They had brought their son to visit his honorary Uncle and Aunt, as Robert had decided to deem himself and his wife. After much excitement over Anna's engagement ring, one which had resulted in Robert making sure John hadn't actually sold his flat to afford it, they had got onto the conversation of the actual wedding and the practicalities of it all.

'Next February we think,' John said, when Robert asked when it would be.

'Blimey,' Robert remarked, 'only a few months to get everything planned.'

'We just don't want to wait that long,' Anna replied, stroking Dylan's head as he slept in Cora's arms before John noticed her meeting his gaze, a slight smirk upon her lips. 'It took him long enough to ask me.'

'Yeah, yeah,' John laughed off her observation, rolling his eyes. 'No one is ever going to let me forget that.'

'She is right though, mate,' Robert backed Anna up, 'which date in February?'

'Probably the weekend of the 22nd.'

'Any particular reason that date?' Cora asked, unable to take her eyes off the little bundle in her arms.

'Oh,' John made sure he had Anna's attention before offering her a wink, the two of them knowing exactly why that had chosen that date, the evidence lying asleep in Cora's arms. 'No reason particularly.'

'Well, I think it's fantastic news,' Robert bellowed, slapping John on the back. 'My best mate is finally happy and I think that deserves drinking to.'

As the ladies discussions dissolved into that of dress styles and comparing different celebrity weddings, John and Robert, armed with Dylan, escaped to the conservatory. Robert was chatting to the little boy about football and what not, he holding Dylan's complete attention as he laid him out in front of him, resting him on his legs, his hands supporting his upper body. John sat beside them, gently chiding his friend when he dare to suggest Dylan support anyone but Manchester United.

John was glad of the time alone with his friend. There was no one else he would ever consider asking to be his best friend. He had already done the job once, and their friendship had been through so much since that first time. Then they were friends, now their bond was so they were almost like brothers, especially after that last deployment and all that went with it.

'Stick with Uncle Robert, he'll show you some decent football.'

'By taking him to see Arsenal, I think not,' John laughed, looking into the distance. 'Rob, there is something I would like to ask you.'

'Alright.'

'When me and Anna get married, I'd like to you be my best man. Again. If you would like to be.'

Robert cocked his head to the side, still regarding his friends son before answering. 'Well, you don't really have any other friends do you so I was half expecting this.'

'Yeah, thanks mate. I don't have to be sociable when I have Anna though, do I?'

'True,' Robert conceded, lifting his head to look at John. 'She's stunning, how did you ever manage to get her to fall in love with you?'

'This conversation is doing wonders for my ego,' John replied a smile and narrowed gaze. 'So you'll do it?'

'Of course I will.'

* * *

Now being home with Dylan out of hospital, Anna and John were really doing the rounds, showing off their little boy. John had been anxious to take Dylan to visit his mother, and Anna had been only too happy to oblige. She loved spending time with Helen and couldn't wait to watch her dote over her grandson. With her own mother being so far away, Anna was grateful to have built such a strong rapport with John's mother, feeling able to talk to her about anything despite the short time they had known each other.

John's mother had taken over the care of her Grandson as soon as the three of them had crossed the threshold, suggesting she and Anna sit in the living room with Dylan whilst John made them a cup of tea. Helen had changed Dylan's dirty nappy despite Anna insisting she could do it, and had also given him his bottle. Anna had to admit she had enjoyed sitting back and letting her future mother in law take control for a little while. Now Dylan was happily asleep in his grandmother's arms in her armchair.

'So, you'll be getting married in a church I trust,' Helen said once the conversation had got onto the topic of the actual ceremony. Anna looked up from her position next to him on the sofa as John rolled his eyes. 'Proper vows and all that.'

'Yes Ma,' John sighed, 'my life wouldn't be worth living if we didn't, eh?'

'No, it's just that it's what your old Dad would have wanted.'

'Of course,' Anna offered, trying to be slightly more helpful than John was being.

'And will you be having a party afterwards?'

'Well, I…'

'I'm not so sure that is important to myself and Anna,' John interrupted, stopping Anna in her tracks. She furrowed her brow as she waited for him to explain himself. He shrugged. 'It's just not us, is it? A big fuss?'

Anna didn't answer for a moment, not wanting her disappointment to be obvious as she remembered her conversation with her friends a couple of days previously. She wasn't expecting to spend thousands on the day, they didn't have that to spend, but a little get together with their friends and family in the evening was definitely part of Anna's perfect day. A disco. Properly celebrating the promise she had made with the love of her life.

'Probably not,' Anna replied weakly, turning away from John to look at Helen and Dylan, the baby begin to stir. 'Shall I take him for a bit, Helen?'

* * *

With Charles having been supportive of John during Dylan's stay in hospital, he had decided to only take a couple of days of paternity leave before returning to work. John enjoyed his job more than he could ever convey in words, at last a job he actually didn't mind getting up for. The army had been a calling more than a job, but being a bouncer was something John had fallen into. He had never particularly liked it.

The main reason John loved working in the shop was his relationship with Jack Ross. The young man from Chicago oozed enthusiasm for making music and quieter times in the shop would be spent with the two men playing around, John on his guitar and Jack providing a master class on the piano or keyboard. They would simply choose a song to play and have worked out the arrangements, both vocally and instrumentally within a couple of hours, even with customers coming in and out. Sometimes their patrons would even stay and watch them as they learnt the latest chart hit, or played an old favourite.

Charles has noticed the natural chemistry between the two men, even despite the difference in cultures and age, John being some twenty five years older than his colleague. On gig nights, it was becoming more of an occurrence for John and Jack to play a gig together, more often than not a request filled affair. Their talent for being able to mesh musically seemingly knew no bounds. The shows were having to become ticket only, such was the two men's popularity with the regular customers.

Today they had chosen a more recent song, and Jack had decided to try out one of the foot drum machines that Charles had chosen to bring into stock, as well as his keyboard. John had insisted he stick with his guitar for today, although the foot drums did look quite intriguing. They were sitting in the middle of the area reserved for customers listening to music in store, a couple of female customers had been watching with interest on bean bags, even helping with the lyrics on a couple of occasions.

'I didn't have this down as your sort of song,' Jack remarked as they finished working on the final verse.

'It was played everywhere you couldn't very much escape it, could you?' John replied, leaning over his guitar. 'Shall we take it from the top?'

'Yeah, if we take two lines each and choruses together,' Jack agreed, noting something down on the music paper he had in front of him. 'Maybe we could start with this one in our gig next week?'

'Sounds good,' John nodded, strumming the strings of his guitar, looking down at the lyrics Jack had printed off from the work computer. 'I'll start shall I?'

Beginning to play his guitar, John smiled as Jack instantly began to nod his head in time. It was nice to meet someone who loved music as much as he did. Looking for the first two lines, John found them and started to sing.

'_Feeling my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart, I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start.'_

'Loving that J B,' Jack remarked, before carrying on the verse. John rolled his eyes upon hearing his initials, the habit of referring to John in that way had been picked up early on by Jack. _'They tell me I'm too young to understand, they say I caught up in a dream, well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes, well that's fine by me.' _

Jack began to tap the foot drum as the two men sang the chorus together. _'So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older, all this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost.' _

The instrumental part of the song was upon them and John looked on amused as Jack played the keyboard and foot drum, any other part of his body that wasn't being used to play an instrument moving in time to the music they were making.

'Come on J B, if I was you I'd be dancing around the shop,' Jack said, John shaking his head in response.

'I wouldn't inflict that on these young ladies present,' John replied with a chuckle.

'Second verse,' Jack announced, slowing down the tempo he had set with the drum. 'You start.'

'_I tried carrying the weight of the world, but I only have two hands. Hope I get the chance to travel the world, but I don't have any plans.' _

'_Wish that I could stay forever this young,' _Jack continued, singing with all his might. _'Not afraid to close my eyes. Life's a game made for everyone, and love is the prize.' _

They carried on with the chorus together, becoming lost in the music and enjoying playing the instrumental part of the song. Their audience seemed to like it, clapping along as they played the song to it's crescendo. John would never get enough of the rush that came with playing music, every single time. He hadn't that much time for busking anymore but this was the next best thing.

'You guys sound well together,' Charles said as he stepped out of his office. 'Myself and Mrs Carson like that one you were just playing.' He looked down to see the new stock under Jack's foot. 'I hope you are going to put that back in it's rightful place when you finish, Jack.'

'Of course Mr Carson,' Jack replied, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. 'How much are they retailing for?'

'One hundred and fifty pounds,' Charles replied with a rumble and a raised eyebrow.

'Shiii…'

'Jack,' Charles stopped him before he swore, Jack quickly unplugging the device and placing it back into it's box.

'How is that boy of yours, John?' Charles enquired, joining them in the listening area as the two customers continued their exploration of the shop.

'He's perfect, thank you Charles,' John replied with a soppy grin. 'Being a father is the best thing to ever happen to me,' he quickly added, 'apart from meeting Anna of course.'

'Nice save.'

John looked over his shoulder and was surprised to see Gwen had entered the shop. He rose to his feet, crossing the shop floor and greeting Anna's friend with a kiss on the cheek. 'Hello Miss Dawson. And to what do I owe this pleasure?'

'Well, I heard you talking about this place and I was working not far from here today and thought I'd stop by and take a look.'

'I'll be in my office if anyone needs me,' Charles said, disappearing once again, but not before poking his head out of the door. 'Jack, put those foot drum pedals in the stock room before they get damaged. We'll put them out tomorrow, a display by the front door I think.'

'Sure thing boss,' Jack answered with a smile, once the older man was out of sight Jack offered him a salute.

'Woah, he's American,' Gwen said as she watched Jack collect up all the foot drums and place them on a trolley.

'Yeah,' John nodded as he walked behind the counter where the till was situated, 'you do find Americans in London.'

'I know, I just wasn't expecting him to be, he's quite hot,' Gwen shook her head before meeting John's gaze, his expression slightly amused. 'Anyway, how are the wedding plans coming along?'

'They aren't really,' John spoke as he continued with the task of pricing some CD's he had begun before Jack suggested their impromptu 'jam.' 'You had lunch with her today didn't you?'

'Yep,' Gwen folded her arms, looking down at the items John was placing stickers on. 'Does anyone buy music by Duran Duran anymore?'

'Going by my reducing these to two quid, I'd say not really.' John finished and walked to the shelf where the CD's belonged just behind Gwen. 'Was Anna alright? She's been a little quiet on the wedding front since we visited my mother.'

'Can you blame her,' Gwen was quick to reply, searching through the CD's on the shelf next to John.

'What?'

'Well, when your dream is a church wedding with the man of your dreams followed by the celebrations to end all celebrations in the hall of a hotel or a country house or some such venue, then you would be disappointed when said man of dreams quashes all of that with a remark such as,' Gwen mimicked John's voice, 'we don't want a big fuss.'

Ahh. It was suddenly making sense. John had broached the subject of weddings in bed the previous evening, Anna quick to change the subject, saying the past few days had been so overwhelming she needed time to process everything. She had fallen asleep in John's arms so he hadn't thought that much more about it.

'It's only because I didn't think Anna wanted a big fuss either.' John walked back to the counter. 'I want whatever she wants.'

' Well, not a big fuss isn't it,' Gwen replied, following him. 'It doesn't have to be expensive, she just wants a party, wants to show you off as her husband.'

'The only showing off going on will be me of her, I bet she is going to look gorgeous.'

'Precisely. Nail, head, hit. The sooner you realise it is her day and not yours, the more easier you will find your life. Because let me tell you, once she gets into it she is going to turn into Bridezilla.'

'Seriously?' John furrowed his brow. 'That doesn't sound like Anna.'

Gwen guffawed at his assumption. 'Just you wait, mate. Every bride gets like it.' Gwen walked to the door of the shop before looking back over her shoulder. 'Thanks for dinner the other night. Me, Daisy and Ethel will be over same time next week. We like Indian. Ciao.'

* * *

A visit to the florists had been John's port of call before heading home to his family. What a sweet notion that was, he thought himself as he walked towards his front door and put the key in the lock. His family. John's intention was to apologise to Anna, the flowers his offering, and tell her they would have whatever wedding she wanted. He would draw the line at cream suits and thrones at the top table, however.

Opening the door, John was surprised to be met with silence. Looking to the sofa, John saw a sight that was sure to warm his heart over and over again for the next few months. Anna was asleep on the sofa, her hand resting in Dylan's moses basket as he slept peacefully beside his mother. The two most important people in John's life were there before him and it overwhelmed him for a moment. For all he had done wrong in his life, and he had made mistakes, he would be the first to admit he had upset people, he must have done something right along the way to deserve to bear witness to the scene before him right now.

In the next moment, Anna was stirring and John took this as his cue to approach her. He smiled as he noticed the wedding magazine lying open upon her chest before meeting Anna's eyes, she looking a little confused as one does when they first wake from a deep sleep, before smiling slightly.

'Are those for me?'

'Well, I did offer them to Mrs Paterson at number thirty four but she told me I should probably actually give them to you.'

'Ha ha,' Anna said gruffly, sitting up as John knelt beside her on the floor, the two of them finding themselves in the same position they had been when John proposed the other night.

'I'm sorry for what I said the other day at my mothers,' John whispered in Anna's ear, hearing her breath hitching as he moved in such close proximity to her. 'I want to give you your big white wedding, if that is what you want. Whatever you wish for, I want to make it happen.'

'Really?' Anna gasped, pulling away for moment and placing her hands on either side of John's face, he releasing a sigh at the contact. 'I didn't want to come across as being extravagant but I want a little bit of fuss, John.'

'Then that is what we shall have. I was stupid to not want the big celebration in the first place. I should grab any chance I can to show you off.'

Choosing to not answer with words, the next thing John felt was Anna's lips upon his, soft yet demanding, kissing him in a way she hadn't done for weeks. He wouldn't be human if he didn't feel his desire building, especially with Anna affecting him in a way only she could.

'You know, Dylan's only been asleep for twenty minutes or so, plenty of time for us to become acquainted with each other once more.'

John's eyes widened at her suggestion. They hadn't been intimate with each other since before Dylan was born, and although he would never force Anna, John had missed that side of their relationship.

'Are you sure?'

Nodding, Anna grabbed the lapels of his jacket and dragged him to the opposite end of the sofa to where Dylan was and their lips met in another kiss, growing in intensity almost as soon as it had started. John was lost, ever since they had first got together Anna had this hold over him, he unable to do anything but surrender to her. With his jacket now on the floor, and his shirt half undone, John thought maybe it would be more appropriate to move things to their bedroom.

'Maybe we should try out those baby monitors your parents brought us?' John suggested, moving his attentions to Anna's neck.

'Alright,' Anna agreed, but almost as soon as they had made to move from the sofa, Dylan had begun to whimper.

'Perfect timing son,' John sighed, looking to the crib where Dylan was now becoming more disgruntled.

'The best laid plans, eh?' Anna ran a hand down John's bare chest.

Beginning to do up his buttons as Anna swept Dylan up in her arms, John sat on the sofa. Anna gently rocked him in her arms, hushing him gently. His crying soon turned into intermittent gasps and John marvelled at it all. How simply being in his mother's arms could soothe Dylan so easily. Still, Anna was the mother in question and John was sure anything was possible where she was concerned. Although the thought of being close to Anna had been tempting, John happened upon another notion as he watched his son and his fiancée together. His whole world.

'Come and sit with me, the two of you,' he murmured, patting the sofa beside him. 'We haven't had much time for that sort of thing yet.'

Watching as Anna acquiesced to his demand, John immediately placed an arm around her shoulders, his hand resting on the back of Dylan's hand. As she settled, John placed a kiss in her hair before focussing his attentions on their son. John offered Dylan his index finger, his tiny hand grabbing it and gripping it as tightly as he could. 'Hello little mate. Daddy missed you today. I missed you both.'

'We missed Daddy too, didn't we Dylan?' Anna admitted, turning her head to look at John. 'Did you have a good day?'

'Yeah, it was good,' John nodded. 'But I do think about the two of you an awful lot. Are you getting on alright here?'

'Yes, it's wonderful to have him home. Especially when I thought the day would never come at one point.'

'Well, you can stop thinking like that,' John was quick to reply, pulling Anna closer to him. 'It's the three of us from this day forward, and I can't wait for the day we are all Bates's.'

* * *

**A/N 2- Song that Jack and John sang is called Wake Me Up by Avicii, if you didn't know.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N- If you are looking for Angst, the next couple of chapters of this story might not be for you. If you are looking for fluffy Banna, than please pull up a chair and stick around, you might like what you read. Maybe even perhaps leave a review? I do enjoy reading them and thank every body who leaves their thoughts. Chapter 25, I remember when I thought this was just going to be a one shot. Maybe I should have left it as a one shot according to some. Oh well, it's done now. **

**I have big plans for John and Anna, and as long as people still want updates I shall keep them coming.**

** Disclaimer-** Downton belongs to ITV/Carnival/Julian Fellowes.

* * *

Sighing deeply, John shifted in his chair before looking beside him. Robert was looking just as fed up as he was, shop assistants moving here, there and everywhere around them as they waited for the person serving them to return. His friend began to speak.

'On a scale of one to ten, one being not really and ten being I would rather be anywhere else but here, how bored are you?'

John cleared his throat. 'I hate shopping as much as the next bloke, but this is what Anna wants so I am doing this for her.' Meeting Robert's gaze, John noticed his raised eyebrow and conceded he was finding the situation a little tedious. 'Alright, I am hating this but the bloke said he might be a minute, they had a lot of suits delivered today.'

Robert laughed sardonically. 'Yeah, he probably spotted a mirror on his way to the store room and stopped to admire himself.'

True, the sales assistant had seemed a little conceited when these two scruffy middle aged men entered the tailors saying they had arrived to collect two wedding suits. But that didn't really matter to John. All that mattered was that he was doing this for Anna, it was her day. Not his. At the end of the day John would be able to call Anna his wife, and that notion was worth doing anything for. Even clothes shopping.

'We could have done this online.'

'Robert,' John said, an impatient tone to his voice. 'I said and I wanted to do this properly and you can't get much more proper than visiting a bespoke tailors.'

'How much money do you actually have? Maybe I should have charged you a little more on that home of yours.'

'Here we go.' The man re appeared with two suits over his arm, hanging them up on the rail behind John and Robert as the two men stood. 'I see here there is a note for you to choose some brown shoes to go with the suits.'

'Yeah, but we can do that another time,' Robert replied before John dug him in the ribs with his elbow. Sighing, he folded his arms. 'Or now. We can do that now.'

'Let's get it all over and done with, shall we mate?' John's voice was an encouraging whisper as the assistant took the suits they had chosen out of their garment bags.

Wanting smart but nothing too fussy, John had chosen a three piece navy blue suit for himself and his best man to wear. Anna had chosen burgundy for her bridesmaids dresses, so the colour of the ties and pocket squares were non negotiable. Dylan, who would be nearly five months old at the time of the wedding, would be matching his father and godfather in a little navy blue waistcoat and trousers.

'Very snazzy,' John said as he stepped forward, clasping the material between his thumb and forefinger. 'I haven't worn a suit this smart for years.'

'Yes,' the assistant said, his tone not sounding at all surprised. 'Would you like to try the suits on?'

After John and Robert's rather abrupt fashion show, both deciding quite quickly the suits were fine and the first pair of brown shoes they found, one pair in a ten, the other eleven, were perfect a trip to the pub to restore some masculinity was in order. This particular trip to the tailors was the first time John and Robert had seen each other since before Christmas. It had been important to John that he and Anna have their first Christmas with Dylan at home, with John's mother as well. Then, the three of them had travelled up to Yorkshire to spend New Year with Anna's family.

'We didn't go mad on presents,' John explained as he and Robert found a table and sat down with their drinks in hand. 'Dylan is barely three months old so he won't remember much.'

'I totally agree mate, I remember all three of mine and their first Christmases, Cora went mad when all they wanted to do was play with the boxes and wrapping.'

John nodded in agreement as he took a sip of his drink before replying. 'Dylan got a blue teddy from Anna and I got him a keyboard with flashing lights that he won't even be able to use for a few months, but got to get them young.'

'How is the busking?' Robert asked, hearing about the keyboard evoking the question from him.

'I don't get much time for it anymore, with the job and planning the wedding. Myself and Jack have the weekly gig at the shop but other than that, nothing.'

'Do you miss it? I know how much you used to love it.'

'I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it, but I have more in my life now. Busking was an escape.' John looked down at his glass. 'I have nothing to run away from anymore.'

It was true. John and Anna were going from strength to strength, and becoming her husband wasn't as frightening a prospect as he had once deemed it. He cursed himself for ever being reluctant, even though his reasons had seemed important at the time. Now as the big day loomed, how anything had ever been more important than being Anna's husband was beyond John.

Dylan was thriving after his difficult beginning. He was a happy little chap and the apple of John's eye. Nothing was sweeter than a smile from his son, or holding Anna and their boy in his embrace. In such a short space of time John had gone from having nothing to having the whole world in his hands. He just prayed he could live to be worthy of all that had been bestowed upon him in barely over a year.

'I must say, I really am grateful to your friend for hiring out Downton Abbey at a reduction,' John said, meeting Robert's eye again. 'Anna deserves the best and we wouldn't have been able to afford it otherwise. She is made up we are holding the wedding up in Yorkshire.'

'It was the least I could do, after all you had done for me.'

John guffawed at Robert's remark, wishing his friend wouldn't always hark back to something that happened years earlier. John would do the same thing again without question, remaining extremely proud of his position as a soldier, and remembering the unspoken promises he had made in risking his life for his comrades.

'But you're happy, with the wedding and everything now? Why you wouldn't be considering how stunning your bride is, I know not.'

Meeting Robert's gaze, a face overtook John's features. 'Happy doesn't even begin to describe it.'

* * *

Anna looked over to the armchair from her position at the kitchen table, feeling her heart constrict in her chest as she saw her fiancé and son, the former chatting intently to the little being in his arms. John was feeding Dylan whilst she went over some last minute details about the wedding with Gwen. Her two boys shared such a special bond, it was an almost overwhelming feeling for Anna to know she had given such a gift to John. He always regarded his son with such an affectionate look in his eye. Anna was left in no doubt she had found the perfect Daddy for the child she never thought she would have.

Christmas had flown past, spent at home with John, Dylan and Helen, and Anna couldn't have asked for a more perfect way to celebrate her first Christmas as a mother. After all they had been through with Dylan, everything was finally falling into place and Anna thought she would burst with the happiness of it all.

'He's falling asleep, again,' John called from the living room, placing the bottle on the table beside him.

'He didn't have the best night,' Anna said in response. 'Put him down in the bedroom if you want.' Watching as John rose to his feet, Anna released a happy sigh before turning her head to look at Gwen. 'What?'

'Look at you all happy and in love,' Gwen cooed, closing the small notebook which acted as a wedding planning book and had become Anna's bible over the past few weeks. 'I'm not jealous, in the slightest.'

'I'm very lucky,' Anna agreed, looking down at the table whilst grinning.

'Well, as your best friend and someone who saw what you were put through, I can't deny I am ecstatic to see you so happy. It's the very least you deserve.'

'Anything I can help you ladies with?' John asked as he reappeared from the bedroom, baby monitor in hand.

'Well, we are about to order the favours for the tables and chase up some people who haven't yet responded to their invite,' Anna replied, wrapping an arm around John's waist as he reached her side. 'You are very welcome to help.'

Smirking as she saw the look of horror on his face, Anna squeezed his hip before John began to speak. 'I was thinking with the boy settled and probably out for a couple of hours, I might become reacquainted with the guitar and go out and sing for a bit. Robert asked me about it the other day and it got me thinking. I realised I haven't busked for ages.'

'That is so cool you can do that,' Gwen remarked, John and Anna looking in her direction. 'Just pick up a guitar and have the confidence to perform in front of complete strangers.'

'It took a little while to get over the nerves initially but if I hadn't done it,' John began to reply as he looked down at Anna sitting beside him. 'I would never have met the mother of my child and future wife.'

'Very true,' Gwen agreed with a nod. 'So what is your favourite song to sing, John?'

As her friend and fiancé chatted about his musical interests, Anna allowed herself a moment to remember the times when she used to commute to work, her stomach doing somersaults every morning as the train pulled into Waterloo. She would pass through the barriers, her mind full of thoughts of John, or Her Busker as she referred to him back then, not knowing his name.

As soon as she heard his voice, it was as if everything in the world suddenly made sense, she felt complete. She would find herself contemplating the smallest details. Would he be sporting a light dusting of stubble? What colour shirt would he be wearing? Anna liked it when he wore a particular red t-shirt. She laughed to herself as she remembered thinking he had worn it purposely on her birthday knowing it was her favourite shirt, even though up until that point they hadn't yet conversed.

'I'll be a couple of hours, is that alright?' John asked as he moved away and began to pack up his guitar.

'Of course it is,' Anna answered, knowing how much music and playing it meant to her future husband. 'You don't need my permission.'

'Well,' John continued, walking to the pegs by the front door and putting his jacket on, followed by his flat cap. 'I do seeing as our son is asleep. I don't want to be seen as shirking my duties as I indulge myself in one of my passions.'

Anna shook her head, dismissing his fears. 'You do you fair share around here, go and enjoy yourself.'

'Thank you,' John picked up his guitar case and put it over his back with practiced ease, Anna noted. He patted his pocket to check he had his keys before he made eye contact once more. 'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

'Bye Gwen,' John waved, Gwen reciprocating the action before John left the flat.

Anna missed him already.

* * *

Despite missing his family when he wasn't with them, John was pleased to have been given the freedom to indulge himself. Anna was different from Vera, and he chided himself that he had to keep reminding himself of that fact. Vera didn't take kindly to his little musical interludes, John beginning to busk in the first place to escape the crumbling mess his marriage had become. But Anna was all for him taking a couple of hours out to do what he loved to do, and he loved her all the more for it.

Finding himself on the walkway just outside Waterloo- his regular stomping ground, John took a look around. Although there was nothing spectacular about the venue, the huge Shell Building blocking the view of the London Eye behind it, it was a magical place for John. This was where he had first laid eyes on Anna, and for that reason alone it would always be in his heart.

He had chosen this particular position originally so he didn't get lost in the circus the South Bank could become. It wasn't that he wanted people to watch him, it was because he would become distracted by the crowds that gathered around the street dancers, magicians or the other performers. He did get his fair share of admirers but busking was never about that for John. It was about losing himself in his passion for an hour or so, his dark thoughts never failing to be banished whilst he did something as simple as sing and play his guitar.

It came as a surprise on his very first trip busking when he was stopped mid performance for someone to ask where they could put their money. It had never occurred to John that someone would actually want to reward him in such a way. In the early days, he would collect his earnings and put it in the nearest charity collecting box he could find on the way home, and he still did that, but when the money was amounting to over a hundred pounds, which on a good day it did, he would keep a cut for himself. To take his mother out, or pay a utility bill that month.

As he was tuning his guitar, thoughts would always turn to what songs John would perform. He had a knack for hearing a tune, and working out what chords would play that melody. The piano was different, but when it was John and his guitar, it was like they were one entity. Yes, it was to the outside world an inanimate object, but to John his guitar was a friend, a friend who, and John felt no shame in admitting this, at one point helped in saving his life.

Nowadays, his muse was very different. His set list used to be made up of songs about relationships that had gone bad, about trying to find the strength to carry on. The more and more he got over his failed marriage, the brighter the set list had become. Then he saw Anna for the first time, and it was all he could do not to sing every love song ever written. Now with Anna, and indeed Dylan in his life, songs he used to find tedious and saccharine, took on a whole new meaning.

Beginning his set with a song his father used to enjoy singing, John got a few smirks and appreciative noises in his direction as _Father and Son _echoed through the subway towards Waterloo. It was a cliché, but John could smile as he sang that particular composition as a father himself for the very first time. It was an opportunity he thought had passed him by, but John couldn't wait until Dylan was old enough to begin learning to play an instrument. Some of his happiest times as a boy were jamming with his Dad, and he couldn't wait to share such moments with his own son.

As an hour passed, he treated the public passing him with his personal favourites to play, seeing as this was the first time he had performed like this in a while and he didn't know when he would again. As well as some of his old repertoire, he also called upon the new material he had learnt as a result of his blossoming partnership with Jack Ross.

His version of Hey Ya! By Outkast had been greatly received by a group of young men out on a stag night. It reminded him of his upcoming celebrations and he prayed Robert wouldn't make John dress up like the men in this particular stags party had done. Still, the groom made a rather attractive woman.

Realising his time was probably nearing it's end, John looked into his guitar case to see the passers by had been quite generous. Thinking on what to end with, John remembered a song Anna had been singing whilst she had been washing up the other day. John was bathing Dylan and heard her from the kitchen in the bathroom. Although she didn't think much of it, John loved hearing Anna's singing voice.

As time passed, John had learnt more about Anna's music tastes and she had a penchant not only for squeaky clean pop music, but rock as well. Bryan Adams was a particular favourite and John had conceded after a late night discussion the man from Canada could indeed write a tune. As he strummed the first few notes on his guitar, thoughts of his fiancée filled John's conscious. He had never played this song before, but now he had the perfect muse to perform it to the best of his ability.

'_To really love a woman, to understand her, you gotta know her deep inside,' _he began to sing, closing his eyes as he did so. _'Hear every thought, see every dream and give her wings when she wants to fly.' _

Opening his eyes, John saw a couple had stopped opposite him to listen. He smiked as he carried on, noticing they were swaying together much like John and Anna had done on the South Bank when the busker had sung their Paul Weller song, or the song John had chosen to recognise as his and Anna's. That was a special moment, and one John knew he would take with him to his dying day. He had acted on impulse, something he never would have done before he met Anna.

John realised he must have been doing alright as he reached the chorus, and the couple were regarding each other as if they were the only two people on the planet.

'_When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted_,' John couldn't help but continue smiling at the couple as he realised the man had begun to sing along, he swaying gently along with them as the song picked up in tempo. _'When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one, cause she needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever. So tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a woman?' _

As he finished the first chorus, the woman dropped a ten pound note in the case before meeting John's gaze. 'We'd stay for the whole song but we'll miss our train.'

'That's not bother,' John shook his head as he ceased his playing. 'Thank you for listening.'

'And it's obvious you really love the woman you were singing about,' the woman replied before the couple made strides towards the station and out of sight.

John murmured in the couple's direction as they scampered away. 'You have no idea.'

* * *

Anna looked at the vase of flowers on the windowsill, smiling as she remembered how proud John was when he had returned from his busking session with the huge bouquet and a train balloon for Dylan which had been tied to his pushchair. He admitted to making forty pounds, spending twenty on the flowers and giving the rest to a _Help For Heroes _kiosk on Waterloo Station. That was her man, generous to a fault and she couldn't wait to call him her husband.

Now, as she looked at the bag by the front door, Anna was excited although she couldn't deny the feeling of dread that was flowing through her. It was time for her hen weekend at a country spa, and despite knowing she was going to have a wonderful time with Cora, Mary, Sybil, Edith and her three best friends, this would be the first time she was leaving Dylan.

After all her son had been through, she had become extremely protective of her baby, just like any mother in her situation would be. Any mother in any situation really, she reasoned. John had proven to be quite capable and she had no doubts Dylan would be well looked after, but it didn't make the thought of being away from him overnight for the next three nights any easier.

Her attention was caught by the door opening, and John walking in after a day at work. Closing the door behind him and hanging up his coat, he smiled in Anna's direction. 'Good afternoon sweetheart.'

'Hi,' Anna replied rather weakly leaning against the kitchen counter, observing as John walked to the bouncy chair in the middle of the living room, picking up his son.

'And how is my little peanut, looking forward to his first boys only weekend with Daddy and Uncle Robert?'

'He is,' Anna spoke up for her son, moving towards them from the kitchen. 'The anticipation almost kept him from taking his afternoon nap.'

John chuckled at her words, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple as she reached his side. 'If only Mummy was more excited about her hen weekend.'

God, the man could read her like a book. She often found it hard to believe they had only properly been together a little over a year. 'Am I that obvious?'

'You do know Dylan is going to be perfectly alright,' John put Dylan back in his chair then moved to his armchair to untie his laces, before kicking off his shoes.

'Yeah, I know,' Anna sighed, sitting on the sofa and reaching out a hand to gently rock Dylan's chair. 'It's just this is the first time I'll be spending a night away from him.' The doorbell rang in the next instance, Anna lifting her head and looking towards the door. 'That will be Mary and Gwen. Hopefully they haven't clawed each other's eyes out yet. '

John furrowed his brow at Anna's remark as he walked over to answer the door. The wall of noise that entered the flat was enough to make Anna wince.

'Darling, it seems all of your hens are here, dressed as rabbits,' John announced, stepping away from the door allowing seven very enthusiastic women to enter the flat, all dressed in flashing bunny ears.

'It's party time!' Gwen squealed as Anna greeted her friends, Daisy placing a pair of pink bunny ears on her head. In the time Anna had said hello to everyone, John had picked up Dylan once more and the two of them were waiting by the doors that lead to the balcony. She turned to see them, noticing John was finding the whole scene before him wholly amusing.

'Now, say goodbye to those men of yours so we can start drinking,' Mary encouraged her friend, pointing in the direction of John. 'We'll wait in the hall, I can't be doing with all that lovey dovey stuff.'

Rolling her eyes as the seven woman all shouted enthusiastic goodbyes to John, he waving as they left, Anna crossed the room to where he and Dylan were standing. She ran her index finger along Dylan's cheek before kissing him on the head.

'Mummy loves you my little man,' she gently cooed, kissing him once more before meeting John's gaze. 'Call me if you have the slightest problem. Anytime. I'll have my mobile switched on and the number of the spa is on the fridge, the address is…'

Anna was silenced with a kiss so sweet from John that she had to cling to his shoulders, for fear of her knees giving way beneath her. She had waited her whole life to be kissed the way that John kissed her, each one was unique and filled with the passion he had promised after their first at the underground station a little over a year ago now. Each one completely took her breath away. Anna prayed it would always be like this.

'Have a wonderful time,' John breathed, resting his forehead against Anna's, Dylan babbling happily in his arms. 'We love you.'

'I love you both too.'

'Come on Anna,' was the call from the hallway, Anna squeezing her eyes upon hearing it, John chuckling.

'Good luck with that lot,' he added, kissing her forehead before Anna realised she was actually going to have to walk away this time.

'I'll text you before bed tonight.'

'I shall look forward to it.'

* * *

It was nice to get back to the room she was sharing with Gwen, although Anna had to admit she had had a wonderful day. She missed Dylan like mad but it was a rare luxury to have a whole day where she could focus on herself. The massage had been a particular highlight, and dinner with her friends in the evening had reminded Anna once again how lucky she was.

It was late, Anna noted but she knew she wouldn't get to sleep without hearing John's voice. She had text him like she had promised the previous evening, but another message tonight just wouldn't do. With Gwen in the shower, Anna took this time alone as her opportunity. After getting ready for bed, she decided to call home. As the phone rang three, four and then five times, she resigned herself to the fact John was probably in bed. Just as she was about to give up, Anna heard the tones of the sweetest voice she had ever had the pleasure to hear, instantly causing her heart beat to quicken.

'Hello you,' John said warmly, 'how are you?'

'All the better for hearing your voice,' Anna replied, a smile overtaking her features. 'I miss you so much.'

'I miss you too, but I hope you're having a good time.'

'I am,' Anna admitted, nodding her head. 'I had an all over body massage this afternoon, and I've had my nails done, then me and the girls had a wonderful meal this evening.'

'Nothing too strenuous yet, then,' John remarked.

'Not yet, but I still have one more night to go and Mary won't let this time go by without something wild happening.' A beat of silence passed between them before Anna could hold back asking no longer. 'How is Dylan?'

'He's absolutely fine,' John answered but Anna could sense the mirth in his voice, 'he's sitting beside me here in Uncle Robert's arms. We gave him his first taste of lager this afternoon, he knows how to swear at a football referee now and your call interrupted us teaching him how to blow smoke rings.'

'Ha ha,' Anna replied sarcastically, 'you know I worry after all that has happened.'

'I know sweetheart, but he is absolutely fine. Rob is about to leave then we'll be going to bed.'

'Okay, well give him a kiss from me.'

'Consider it done,' John replied, Anna finding thinking about John and Dylan a little emotional. She whimpered, trying desperately to stifle her sobs. 'Are you okay?'

'Yes,' Anna answered unconvincingly.

'Hang on a minute.'

Hearing a few bumps and knocks on the other end of the line, Anna realised John must be moving. She heard the unmistakable sound of a door opening which confirmed her suspicions. It was then that she heard John's voice again.

'Right, I'm outside,' John began to speak. 'Do you want to talk about it? I don't like to think of you upset.'

'I'm just being silly,' was Anna's response, rubbing her eyes with a fist. 'I'm only away for two nights for goodness sake.'

'Would it help if I told you I am missing you like crazy as well? And now we've found each other, and we have our perfect little family I never want us to be apart again. Even for a night?' That was it. It all made sense. John had summed up how Anna was feeling in a few words. It was the musician in him, she supposed. 'But you deserve to be pampered, Anna. After everything. I bet in a few days you'll be longing for the peace of a masseurs table.'

She had to laugh at that. 'You're probably right.'

'And your friends have probably put a lot of effort into planning the perfect hen weekend for you. Enjoy yourself.'

'I will. I am,' Anna corrected herself. 'It was just hearing your voice I guess, it overwhelmed me for a second. God, I used to swear I'd never let myself feel this way about a man, I sound like the girls me and Gwen used to make fun of in University.'

'Well, I can't help it if I have that effect on a woman. Although I am still flummoxed it is a woman like you. You're stunning. Have I told you that recently?'

'You did actually,' Anna laughed at the memory. 'When I walked out of the bathroom with my hair wrapped in a towel and that cream I use all over my face.'

'And I meant it. I can't believe you are going to be my wife in a few weeks.'

Just then, Gwen exited the bathroom, making Anna jump. 'That bath is huge.'

'I've got to go, Gwen's back.'

'Don't hang up on my account,' Gwen said as she sat in front of the dresser, meeting Anna's eye in the mirror.

'I'll text you goodnight in a minute,' John said softly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too,' Anna replied, throwing a pillow at Gwen as her friend blew kisses mockingly in her direction. 'Goodnight.'

Without a word to the other woman in the room, Anna got into bed, knowing full well she had Gwen's undivided attention. 'Are you alright?'

'Yep,' Anna replied, settling down under the covers.

'Anna May Smith, I know you. What's the matter?'

'Just missing my fiancé and my son, is that allowed?'

'Hmm, what happened to the woman who was never going to allow a man to reduce her to a jibbering wreck?'

'She met the love of her life?' Anna shrugged, swapping the main lights in the room for those of the bedside light beside her. 'Anyway, after the whole business with Andrew I would have thought you would have liked to see your friend happy.'

'I'm only teasing, you know how I feel about John,' Gwen said as she brushed her hair in front of the mirror. 'It's just funny to see how far we've come from those university girls who used to party all night and roll into lectures hung over. You're a Mummy, and in a few weeks you'll be a married woman. How scary is that?'

'It's more exciting I'd say but each to their own.'

Gwen sighed before making her way to her own bed and climbing under the covers. 'Thanks for asking me to be your bridesmaid. Although burgundy is really going to clash with my hair.'

'Yeah, sorry about that,' Anna replied before the two of them burst into laughter. 'I just hope you and Mary can keep your catty remarks to yourself.'

'Hey, she keeps her inane thoughts in her head and we'll be fine,' Gwen said as she shifted herself under the covers. 'I know she is a good friend to you and for that reason I am holding my tongue this weekend. Our common interest is to see you happy.'

'Which I am.'

'Good,' Gwen turned off the light. 'Now get some sleep. We have a lot planned for you tomorrow.'

Inwardly dreading what tomorrow might bring, Anna was startled a little by her phone vibrating beside her. Looking at the screen, she saw a message notification from John. Opening the message, it was all she could do not to gasp out loud as she saw a picture John had taken of him and Dylan lying on the bed in their nightwear, heads touching.

_Goodnight Mummy, I'm taking good care of Daddy for you like he is of me. We miss you x _

She gently ran a hand over the picture, staring intently at the screen. Their little family. Anna had never felt so loved in all her life.

* * *

Well, they hadn't dressed him up as a woman but as John looked down at his current attire, he realised he hadn't been completely let off the hook. Someone had happened upon the idea of an Hawaiian theme, and in the middle of a British winter John, along with Robert, Matthew, Tom and Jack were wandering around London dressed in knee length shorts, canvas shoes and the loudest, brightest Hawaiian shirts they could have possibly found.

John had refused to relax his rules on alcohol for the evening and those in his party respected his decision. It had taken a lot of hard work on John's part to get sober and he wouldn't let one night ruin it. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to have a good time. After some dinner, it was Jack who suggested they set up camp in a karaoke bar not far from where he and John worked. Every stag decided it would be the perfect evening for John to celebrate his upcoming nuptials.

It didn't take a lot of coaxing for Jack to take to the stage, he wowing the crowd with a heart rendering version of Purple Rain by Prince.

'That man has a beautiful singing voice,' Robert practically bellowed in John's ear. 'He touches me with every note he sings.'

John could tell his friend was very merry. Robert didn't drink very often, but when he did, he went for it and fell under the influence very quickly. 'Yes, he is very good.'

'We've just put our names down for a bit of Hall and Oates,' Matthew announced as he Tom returned to the table.

'Which bit?' Robert quipped before falling into laughter at his own joke, which had been met with a deadpan expression by those in his company.

'Is he really pissed?' Tom asked, folding his arms and regarding Robert with a sceptical eyebrow raised. 'We've only had three or four pints each.'

'Oh John, you have to sing a song with me,' Robert said, rising to his feet. 'I'll just go and see what they have.'

Shaking his head as he watched his friend walk away, John looked to the stage where Jack was just finishing his song. His fist was in the air. 'Thank you London.'

'Does he think this is his concert or something?' Matthew asked as John stood up.

'The thing is,' John began to reply, 'knowing how enthusiastic Jack is about singing he probably does.'

Jack rejoined them at the table, still pumped after his performance and the way in which it was received. 'God, I love singing.'

'Really? You hide it so well,' Matthew replied, casting a glance in John's direction.

'I want to do that every day for the rest of my life,' Jack continued after he had taken a well deserved sip of his drink. 'Just waiting for my big break.'

'You think it will ever come?' Tom enquired, clearly finding Jack's enthusiasm infectious.

'Now I've met this guy,' Jack tapped John's shoulder. 'Our weekly gigs at Charlie's go down a storm. We are going to be the most successful singing duo since erm, since…'

'Hall and Oates?' John offered with a wink towards Matthew.

'Honestly,' Jack stood up straight, using his hands to make his point. 'Me and John are going places. First stop Cheerful Charlies Music Shop, next Wembley.'

Matthew shrugged. 'What, on a tour of the stadium or something?'

All the men except Jack began to laugh, John furrowing his brow slightly upon realising the man beside him might just be serious. Jack pointed at Matthew. 'Bates and Ross. Watch this space.'

John knew it was very unlikely what Jack was suggesting, having never really had any desire to do music professionally. It had always only been a hobby, an escape. John was a soldier first and foremost, and in his heart he always would be. It was an occupation that had given him the opportunity be in the position to indulge in his passion at this point in his life. He had never really contemplated his passion could be his living, so he chose to take his colleagues predictions with a pinch of salt.

'I've queued us up with a cracker,' Robert clasped his hands together as he rejoined the group, staggering a little before resting an arm upon John's shoulder.

As the night wore on, John heard many of his favourite songs die a slow death, all in the name of karaoke. Tom and Matthew's rendition of _Maneater_ by Hall and Oates was to his surprise, actually quite good. John joined Jack on stage as they performed _Hotel California, _a song they had been working on in quieter times whilst at the shop. It felt odd to not be playing the instruments, but Matthew had remarked on their return to the table how comfortable they looked together, and how well their voices blended with the others. Jack responded eagerly although John was a little more reserved. Surely the young American couldn't be serious in what he had suggested earlier on in the evening.

John didn't have too much time to contemplate the notion before he was being dragged up onto the stage by his best man for his turn to perform with Robert. It wasn't until he was on stage that John realised his didn't actually know which song Robert had chosen.

'Kenny or Dolly?'

'What?' John took the microphone being offered to him by his friend as it slowly began to click into place.

'Kenny or Dolly?'

The introduction began and John's fears were confirmed. 'For God's sake, Robert.'

'Fine, I'll be Dolly. You're up.'

'Really, you couldn't have chosen The Beatles, or Elton?' Sighing deeply, John began to sing, albeit relutantly. _'When I first met you there was peace unknown, I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb. I was soft inside, there was something going on.' _

'_You do something to me that I can't explain,' _John allowed Robert to take over, his rather raucous baritone causing a ripple of applause to flow through the audience. Dolly Parton, he was not. _'Hold me closer and I feel no pain. Every beat of my heart, we got something going on.'_

Deciding to embrace the situation, knowing he would never find a friendship like he shared with the man beside him, John turned to face Robert as they carried the song to the chorus.

'_Tender love is blind, it requires a dedication. All this love we feel needs no conversation. We ride it together, ah ha,' _John was sure he felt Robert's hand on his backside as they sang the next lyric_. 'Making love with each other, ah ha.' _

'Get off me,' John hissed under his breath.

'Sorry,' Robert quickly replied before they launched into the chorus together, John relieved he decided to place an arm around his comrades shoulders instead.

'_Islands in the stream, that is what we are. No one in between, how could we be wrong,' _John looked up to see some of those gathered were waving their phone torches and lighters in the air. Oh, what the influence of alcohol could do, he thought to himself. _'Sail away with me to another world, and we'll rely on each other, ah ha. From one lover to another, ah ha.' _

As the song progressed, Robert became even more emotional, much to the amusement of Jack, Tom and Matthew, and the embarrassment of John. By the time they had finished, John was sure he saw a tear roll down Robert's cheek.

'I'll just take him outside to cool him down,' John explained as he continued past the table they were sharing with Jack, Matthew and Tom. Once outside, John lead Robert away from the crowds, grateful to spot a bench not a few feet away. Sitting his friend down, John released a few deep breaths, a result of his exertions in practically carrying Robert from the stage to this point before sitting beside him. 'You alright.'

'Yes,' Robert slurred, deciding in that moment to rest his head upon John's shoulder. 'I really, really love you.'

'Yeah mate,' John gently pushed him away. 'I love you too but don't you think you should lay off the beer for the rest of the evening.'

'This isn't the beer talking,' Robert insisted before he released a noise John and Anna would normally praise Dylan for making. 'I am so happy you have found Anna and everything, but I am going to miss you.'

'Miss me?' John laughed slightly, creasing his brow. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

'I know but now you have your baby and you'll have your wife there won't be as much time for us. I'm alright, my three babies are all grown up and have lives of their own, but yours still needs changing, and feeding, and dressing and stuff. It's not the same.'

Shaking his head, John tried to meet Robert's gaze, which wasn't easy given his current state. 'I will always make time to be with you, Robert. You were there for me when I needed you the most and I won't ever forget that.'

'Right,' Robert tapped John's leg, suddenly sitting up straighter. 'Right. I'm just being stupid.'

'No,' John shook his head. 'You're just being Robert. The best friend I ever had.'

'Ahh mate,' Robert lurched towards his friend, John reaching his arms out to stop him in vain.

'Don't kiss me.' It was too late. John wiped his cheek. 'Thanks for that.'

* * *

It had been Cora's idea. For Anna and John to share one last evening together before tying the knot. The wedding was a few days away and since Dylan had been born, they really hadn't had time for themselves. Initially, Anna felt bad for even contemplating the two of them leave Dylan in someone else's care, but when Cora insisted she and Robert didn't mind and would love to have the boy overnight, Anna relented. It would be nice to spend some time with man she loved before they made the biggest commitment of their lives to one another. Although John would argue Dylan was a bigger commitment.

Having left all the arrangements to John, Anna was completely in the dark. Her interest was piqued when John asked her to pack a bag of smart attire and he disappeared with both his and her luggage for an hour at midday. After putting Dylan down for his nap, she began to wonder what John had in store for her. She had never been one for surprises, needing to know everything that was going on right from when she was a little girl.

'Where have you been?' Anna asked as John returned, not giving him a chance to close the door before she was already enquiring as to his rather curious actions.

'Just something,' John shrugged, but the smile that overtook his features betrayed his nonchalant demeanour.

'John Bates.'

'Anna Smith,' John mimicked her tone, walking to the kitchen and turning on the kettle. 'Tea?'

'No thanks, I just had a coffee.'

'Ah yes,' John picked up her dirty tea spoon which had left a mark on the counter. 'Forget where the sink was again, did we?'

'Where are you taking me? And why did I need a bag?'

'Well, if you put two and two together, you might deduce we are staying in a hotel tonight. So I just took our bags there, so we weren't carrying them around with us this evening.'

'Which hotel?'

'All will be revealed my love,' John said as he pulled the milk from the fridge. 'Now, go and get ready for tonight. And remember I said, no jeans.'

'Hmm, that's what intrigues me,' Anna murmured, running a hand along his backside as she passed him by and headed towards their bedroom. 'You never go anywhere without wearing jeans.'

Frustrated as his simple shrug in reply, Anna went inside and began to ready herself, trying to be as quiet as she could as Dylan snored away happily in his crib. She looked in the wardrobe and chose her light grey pleated dress, black tights, what with it being what seemed like the longest winter on record, and a pair of simple black heels. She decided to wear her hair down, curling it slightly as well. About half an hour into getting herself ready, Anna heard voices realising Robert and Cora must have arrived. They would be staying in the flat and Anna was grateful for that, rather than uprooting Dylan to unfamiliar surroundings.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Anna was satisfied she was dressed for any eventuality. Unless it was something like paint-balling. Or bowling. It couldn't be bowling. God, she really hoped it wasn't bowling. Taking one look at her still sleeping son, she bent down to place a gentle kiss on his head before leaving the room.

'Will this do?' She asked, the three people in the living room ceasing their conversation to look at Anna.

'You look beautiful,' Cora said with a smile in her voice, Robert making agreeable noises beside his wife. Although there was only one person whose seal of approval Anna needed. Cora sensed this, and gestured for her husband to follow her to the kitchen.

John was looking at Anna in a way only he could, like she was the only person in the room. He stood and began to walk towards her, seemingly transfixed as he closed the gap between them. Taking her hand, John eyed Anna up and down before meeting her gaze. Anna felt the air leave her lungs.

'You look incredible,' John whispered in her ear, before placing the softest of kisses on her cheek. 'You'll more than do, believe me.'

'Thank you,' Anna gasped, really wishing they were alone right now so she could kiss the man before her senseless. 'You best go and get ready but be quiet, Dylan is still sleeping.'

Nodding in acknowledgement, John relinquished his hold on her hand and she followed him with her eyes as he disappeared into the bedroom. Sighing contentedly, Anna looked up to see Robert and Cora helping themselves to a cup of tea in the kitchen.

'Right, I guess I should tell you where all of Dylan's stuff is.'

As she explained the ins and outs of Dylan's routines, twenty minutes had passed by before John appeared at the bedroom door, Dylan in his arms. Anna couldn't believe her eyes, knowing something was definitely up when she happened upon John's attire. He was wearing a dark navy blue blazer, light blue dress shirt, navy blue chinos and waistcoat and leather brown loafers but that wasn't what shocked her the most. What she noticed before any of that was the tie that was hanging loosely around his neck. John looked more suave than Anna had ever seen him.

'What?' John said, looking down at his son in his arms. 'He woke up by himself, I swear.'

'No, it's not that,' Anna shook her head, Robert and Cora sharing grins behind them. 'It's just I don't think I have ever seen you in a tie before. The wedding would have been the first time.'

'Well, I thought I'd make an effort with this being our last date before becoming an old married couple.'

'You look very nice,' Anna remarked as she picked a piece of lint from his waistcoat.

'Thank you.'

'Now I am really intrigued as to where you are taking me.'

'You look like one of those chaps who star in that drama they film up at Downton Abbey,' Robert said, making the two of them look to the kitchen. He was tapping his watch and looking at John. 'Hadn't you better be making tracks?'

'Right,' John passed Dylan to Anna so she could say her goodbyes before moving to the pegs by the door and collecting her coat.

'No, not that one John,' Anna called over to him as she passed Dylan to Cora. 'The black one. Thanks for this, you guys. Are you sure it's okay?'

'Perfectly,' Cora insisted, Dylan smiling at her as she greeted her future godchild. 'Go and have a good time.'

* * *

It had been easier than John had be anticipating to coax Anna away from Dylan this time. He knew it was partly down to her curiosity, and John couldn't wait to see her face once they arrived where he was taking her. They took the tube to Piccadilly from Waterloo, Anna having ceased her questioning of his intentions and deciding to go with it. When they alighted the underground, it was a short walk hand in hand to John's intended destination.

'Hang on a minute,' Anna said, she must have recognised some characteristics of their surroundings. 'Smart clothing, no jeans.' She looked up as what she was thinking of came into view. 'Oh John, you haven't.'

'What my love?' He was very pleased with himself and couldn't help but smile as everything fell into place for the woman on his arm. 'Made reservations for us to have afternoon tea at the The Ritz? Yes, yes I have.'

'John,' Anna exclaimed as she tugged a little tighter on his arm. 'This must have cost you a fortune.'

'Maybe, but not as much as the deluxe room I have booked us for tonight.'

'We're staying here, too?'

'Yes,' John answered, leading her through the entrance of the hotel towards The Palm Court, where the hotel's world famous afternoon tea was served.

'How much did that set you back?'

John leant down so he could whisper in Anna's ear. 'You are more than worth it, trust me.'

As they were shown to their table, John found himself fascinated as Anna took in her surroundings. She looked completely amazed and astonished, and unmistakably beautiful. He loved to see her so joyful, and to be the reason for her happiness, John had decided, was his mission for the rest of their days.

'This is amazing,' Anna said as they were served their choice of sandwiches.

'I'm glad you like it,' John replied, choosing to watch Anna before beginning his food. 'You really do look beautiful this afternoon.'

'Thank you.' She blushed ever so slightly and John felt a rush of adrenaline at the sight. She would never fail to endear him to her. 'But what about you, Mr Bates? You certainly scrub up well.'

'Yeah,' John pulled on his collar, sitting up in his chair. 'I will be glad when I can take this tie off. It's not needed for where we are going tonight.'

'Oh really, and where might that be?'

John couldn't help but smile as she met his gaze. 'I reckon you might get a feeling of deja vu. A nice memory I hope.'

Anna took a bite of her sandwich before replying. 'Any memory I've made with you is nice.'

'Really?' John wasn't so sure, thinking of the time he had left their home for a little while, as well as the difficulties they had with Dylan.

'The good outweigh the bad,' Anna insisted, and John had to concede she was indeed correct. And any troublesome times that may come their way, John knew they would see them through together. With Anna by his side, how could he not? 'Am I dressed suitably for this evenings activities?'

'Depends if you mean the early evening,' John replied before leaning closer to Anna, raising his eyebrows slightly. 'Or later on when we get back to our room.' He felt the light flutter of breath that left Anna upon hearing his words, unable to resist offering her a little wink.

'You're making me blush.'

'I know,' John was quick to respond, placing his hand in top of hers. 'I can't help myself.'

'Thank you, for all of this. I am very lucky.'

Lucky? If anyone was lucky it was John and he wanted to make sure Anna knew it. 'It's my pleasure, but if anyone should feel fortunate, it's me. You could have your pick of any man you wanted, and you picked me.'

'I didn't pick you John,' Anna shook her head, John meeting her gaze upon hearing the conviction in her voice. 'It was fate. You started busking there so I could walk past you every day. I truly believe that.'

'That's a wonderful tale you weave there, Miss Smith.'

'I know,' Anna agreed, John laughing at the surprised tone in her voice. 'I thought you were the artistic one in this particular partnership.'

* * *

After insisting she was fine to walk rather than fuss about with the tube, Anna realised how thoughtful John was when he told her they would be taking the Thames Clipper to the O2 Arena. Remembering something she had heard on the radio, Anna worked out John had got them tickets to see John Legend in concert. He was one of her current favourites, and it was just the sort of thing John would do for her.

They had used this form of transportation on numerous occasions, John obviously remembering how much Anna enjoyed travelling along the Thames. She had always loved London, it was one of the main reasons she had moved down there from Yorkshire, and seeing the landscape pass by as they whizzed along the river was a most pleasurable experience.

'I see it didn't take you long to lose the tie,' Anna observed as they found a seat towards the back of the boat.

'It's the dress code at the hotel for afternoon tea,' John replied with a shrug, 'otherwise I wouldn't have bothered.'

'So are you wearing one at the wedding just for me?' Anna asked with a smirk. 'Would you rather just wear jeans and t shirt?'

'No,' John shook his head. 'I am happy to get dressed up for the wedding. I guess it's because I used to have look immaculate every day of my life when I was in the army it has turned me into a bit of a scruff in my later years.'

Upon arriving at the venue, Anna was pleased to find they had pretty decent seats, sitting a few rows up in the tiers by the stage. The place was huge and Anna imagined the pinnacle for any music artist to reach was to play at such a venue. Twenty thousand people paying money to see you and hear you sing your songs. What an amazing feeling.

'Would you like to play here?' Anna asked John, just as the warm up act left the stage.

'What, like a concert?' John said, looking around as the room began to fill even more. 'I doubt this many people would ever want to hear me sing.'

'You have a beautiful voice, you do yourself a disservice.'

'Jack has been going on about it a lot recently,' John revealed, turning in his seat to face Anna. 'He wants to make a living out of it all, and has been insinuating me and him form a duo.'

'You are very good together,' Anna said with a chuckle.

'But to make it professionally?' She registered his tone was disbelieving. 'I don't even have my own material. I'm a cover artist, plus I'm the wrong side of forty.'

'Stop putting yourself down,' Anna rested a hand on his knee. 'Are you seriously telling me if someone like a record producer comes to a gig at the shop and offers you a recording contract you would turn it down?'

'That's not going to happen.'

'Rubbish. It's how a lot of singers are discovered. And as for the writing of songs they hire their own songwriters to help you out. I'm sure if you put your mind to it you could write a song. Even if it's just the music. Jack seems the type who could write a lyric.'

She watched as John cocked his head to the side, meaning he was contemplating what she had just said. Of course being discovered by record producers wasn't something that happened every day, but that doesn't mean you can't have a dream. Anna once dreamt of owning her own fashion house, but circumstances changed and hers had changed to having a happy family with John. John loved music, and he was good at it, despite what he said about himself and Anna knew if the opportunity arose John would grab it with both hands.

'Who knows, when you've sold fifty million records you can buy me a country mansion, and finally buy yourself a car.'

'You dream well, my love.' She squeezed his knee before a beat of silence fell between them. 'But in answer to your original question, yes I'd love to play a venue like this.'

John Legend was magnificent in concert, even if Anna did say so herself. John remarked during breaks in songs what mastery of the piano he had, and how his voice sounded so much better in a live situation, if that was possible. Anna particularly enjoyed his ending of his show with _All Of Me_, a song which she had loved to hear John perform. With his arms around her waist, John had sung every word in his beautiful voice in Anna's ear, she leaning back into his touch as he gently swayed them in time with the music.

The trip on the river to Embankment was a little more cold than either had anticipated, so sitting inside on the boat was deemed the best option. As the night drew on and both knew where they were headed to, Anna had become a little more tactile on the journey back. She loved how John was becoming more affectionate with each passing second, and she couldn't wait until they were alone. Once at where they were to leave the boat, Anna took all of a second to agree they get a taxi back to their hotel rather than take the underground.

Anna had been taken aback once in the taxi when John pressed his lips to hers, allowing him to deepen the kiss despite being in full view of the driver in front of them. Still, she supposed he had seen much worse shows of affection in his time. Anna kept her fingers clasped around John's for the remainder of the journey, willing the London traffic to not be too busy.

They had made love since Dylan had been born, but it had been much more reserved between them, both concerned at waking their son. So it was a welcome change to be able to hold nothing back once behind closed doors. She had experienced things with John no other man had ever shown her, and he reminded her of those things as they became one back in the privacy of their hotel room.

It wasn't rushed, both revelling in being as close as two people possibly could be. Anna was looking forward to this the most when they were married, to make love to this man knowing she would be the only person to know him in this way ever again. To feel the cool metal band on his ring finger that symbolised he was hers and hers alone.

As they basked in the afterglow, it was John to break the perfect stillness that had befallen the room, shifting so Anna could rest her head on his chest. 'I love you.'

'And I love you,' Anna replied without missing a beat, snuggling a little closer to him before releasing a yawn. 'Thank you for a perfect evening.'

'A perfect evening for my perfect fiancée,' John replied dreamily, Anna could tell sleep was very much on his agenda.

'Not for much longer though, eh? This time next week we'll be husband and wife.'

'At last,' John drew out the vowel in the last word. He kissed her temple, Anna closing her eyes upon the sensation of it. 'My wife.'

A few moments passed before Anna heard the gentle snores that were leaving John, obviously feeling completely fulfilled and satisfied as he held her in his arms. Just like she was. The wedding couldn't come soon enough.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N - Thanks to those who are still reviewing/reading/enjoying this story. **

**Disclaimer-** Downton belongs to ITV/ Carnival/ Julian Fellowes and not to me.

* * *

Travelling in a car three hundred miles north with a five month old baby wasn't ideal, but that was what John and Anna did, Helen a passenger too. Grandma was given the privilege of the front passenger seat, Anna entertaining Dylan in the back. His father singing along to the greatest hits of Dean Martin, Helen's choice, proved to be useful in soothing him to sleep. John was borrowing one of Robert's cars for the trip, promising his soon to be wife that once the wedding and the circus surrounding it was over he would look into buying one of their own.

Arriving in Yorkshire, the prospect of getting married was all becoming very real. It had meant a lot to Anna to be tying the knot up north, being a traditionalist and wanting to marry from home. John had no reservations in granting Anna her request. So long as she was happy, so was he. The surroundings were beautiful, and John had to admit it was nice to be away from the city, he was sure the countryside would be the perfect backdrop to the best day of their lives.

The four of them were to stay with Anna's parents in the lead up to the wedding, deciding to head up there a couple of days before the ceremony. Jane, Anna's sister had agreed to be maid of honour and little Molly was very excited to be joining Gwen in bridesmaids duties. Toby was a little less enthusiastic in his role as pageboy, at his suit fitting having taken off his burgundy bow tie and thrown it across the room.

The Crawley's were in tow, Robert, Cora and their relatives deciding to make the jaunt up to Yorkshire into a little holiday, the head of the family renting a cottage in the Dales. In turn with their blossoming friendship, Jack had agreed to attend the wedding as John's guest, having bonded well with Matthew and Tom since John's stag night as well. As luck would have it, one of Jack's university friends was from Yorkshire and he had scored a few nights on their sofa. As John remarked upon hearing the news, everything was falling into place.

There was a houseful in the Smith abode, the majority of them waiting on the doorstep as John pulled onto the driveway of Anna's childhood home. Before he had a chance to stop the car, Anna was exiting it and moving towards her family. Her mother greeted her first with an embrace, before her father. John smiled upon the reunion as he watched from the driver's seat, making sure the car was secure before leaving the vehicle himself.

'What a lovely home,' Helen remarked as she stood back, allowing her son to get Dylan out of the car.

'Isn't it,' John agreed, smiling in reciprocation to the sight of Dylan beaming upon seeing his father once more. 'Come on then, Peanut.' Shutting the door, John locked the car before placing his free arm around his mother's shoulders and holding Dylan in the other arm. 'Hello all.'

'There he is. Oh Anna, how gorgeous is he?' Harriet cooed to her daughter as she stood beside her father. John met Anna's eye before speaking.

'Thanks Harriet,' he replied in jest.

'Be quiet John Bates,' Harriet swatted him gently on the arm. 'You know full well I mean the baby in your arms. Hello Helen, so lovely to see you.'

'And you,' Helen accepted Harriet's offer of an embrace. 'It's so kind of you to allow us to stay here.'

'Think nothing of it,' James said from the doorstep. 'Please come inside, we've just brewed a pot.'

'You know you are my gorgeous boy,' Helen whispered to John, he winking at his mother in response.

'Uncle John!'

John would recognise that voice from anywhere, handing Dylan to his maternal grandmother before being met with the force an eight year old girl hurling herself at his legs.

'That's very nice,' Anna said from her position beside her father, looking at the scene before her as John picked Molly up. 'Don't worry about Aunty Anna.'

* * *

Once inside, Anna was touched to see her family had put on a little spread for their arrival. Apart from her friends who would be arriving separately, everybody who meant something to Anna was here and it was a wonderful feeling. Dylan was the centre of attention, being made a fuss of by the relatives who hadn't seen him for a couple of months. She couldn't remember being happier.

It was a little overwhelming, what with being back home and being with everybody again. Once they had eaten, Anna excused herself for a moment, Dylan happily bouncing on his granddad's knee. Helen was busy putting the world to rights with Harriet and John was holding court, telling anyone who would listen about how wonderful their son was. Smiling, she quietly slipped out of the living room.

Stepping out into the garden which had been the scene for many a happy childhood memory, Anna sat down on the brick wall that edged the patio. The large patch of grass that seemed to go on for miles when she was a little girl was in front of her. She missed the rolling hills that made up the Yorkshire landscape, but knew she wouldn't change her life in London for anything. This may have been home, but she belonged in the capital now. She had grown into a woman there. It was where she had met the love of her life and brought her son into the world. The city meant everything to her.

'You alright?'

Turning her head to look over her shoulder, Anna smiled upon seeing her fiancé walking towards her, not putting his shoes on before he came outside and treading carefully in his socks across the patio towards her. Just as she was about to reply, Anna felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. As John joined her by sitting on the wall, Anna opened a message from Gwen.

'The girls are in the county, staying at Gwen's Mum and Dad's.'

'I thought I could smell trouble,' John answered with a wink. 'Jack sent me a message earlier saying he was up here safe and well.'

'Good, it will be nice to meet him outside of your gigs,' Anna remarked before silence fell once more. After a few beats, Anna began to speak again. 'You know, when I was a little girl I used to line all my teddies up in the middle of the lawn and pretend they were the congregation, then I'd pretend I was getting married.'

She stopped as she heard the chuckle that left the man beside her. 'That is cute. Who were you marrying?'

'Well, this would have been the late eighties so probably one of New Kids On The Block.'

'Naturally.' Anna lifted her head to meet John's gaze, linking her arm with his as she did so. She picked a piece of lint from the sleeve of his navy blue shirt before dropping it to the floor. 'Never thought I'd actually marry my very own musician.'

'I'm hardly a musician,' John replied modestly, shifting uncomfortably on the wall. 'Mind you, neither were New Kids On The Block.'

'Oi,' Anna dug him in the ribs with her elbow. 'The Right Stuff is a classic.'

'Okay.' John furrowed his brow, not looking at all convinced. 'Your brother mentioned the open mic evening at the local pub tonight.'

'Oh, now that would be fun,' Anna mused before an idea sprang to her. 'You should call Jack over to come with us. What the hell, might as well ask Robert and co, and the girls. Make a pre wedding night of it.'

'Really?' Anna could sense John was sceptical. 'I thought you might like a quiet couple of nights before the wedding.'

'No, it's lovely having everyone here to celebrate with us. Why not start the celebrating now? I am guessing you are intending to perform at the pub?'

'I did bring my guitar, yes.'

'Great, call Jack and Robert, I'll call the girls.'

'Alright then,' John smiled, rising to his feet. 'So long as you are sure.'

'I'm sure,' Anna replied, grasping his hand.

He began to walk away before Anna noticed John turn around, mobile phone in hand. He was looking at her, really looking at her in that way he had done since the first moment they had met, and it affected her as much as it had done the first time. His lips upturned into a smirk and Anna felt her hands gripping more tightly to the wall to maintain her balance. 'Anna, are you happy?'

'Yes John,' Anna answered, nodding her head and praying her smile conveyed the pleasure she was currently feeling. She was home and was with the people she cared about most in the world and in a matter of days the man she loved with all her heart and soul would be her husband. 'I am happy.'

* * *

The Royal Oak had been overtaken by families Smith, Bates and Crawley, as well as a few others. The landlord was very happy, his open mic nights often only drew a small crowd so his eyes had lit up upon seeing the merry band enter his establishment. To the amazement and amusement of everyone, Jack had come armed with his keyboard ready to perform. John had expected nothing less. Dylan, Molly and Toby had stayed home with Harriet and Helen, who were quite happy to watch the soap operas accompanied by a bottle of wine. The older women had also offered to watch little George so Matthew and Mary could join the party, too. Despite being disappointed at being left behind, once John had read them their bedtime story Molly and Toby soon settled.

Walking to the bar to get the first round in, John encouraged Jack to follow him. If they were to perform tonight, it occurred to John they should discuss what they were going to sing.

'Wow, Gwen is hot,' Jack remarked in his American brogue, as he joined John at the bar.

'What?' John furrowed his brow, struggling to ascertain his meaning for a moment before looking over his shoulder to the woman sitting beside Anna before looking at Jack. He smiled. 'You like her?'

'Well I've only known her from the couple of times she has come in the shop with Anna, and in the ten minutes it took us to walk here but first impressions, she's pretty.'

'Well, as you know I only have eyes for the petite blonde beside her but yes, Gwen is very becoming.'

Jack began to laugh. 'Is that old man speak for she's gorgeous?'

'Hey, less of the old,' John replied, pretending to be hurt. 'Basically I am ordering a coke for me, two pitchers of lager, two bottles of white zinfandel and a pitcher of any cocktail so long as it has Vodka in it.'

Jack shook his head, a grin on his face as he eyed Gwen, Daisy and Ethel. 'Man, Anna's friends sure know how to party.'

'Yes, and how to keep things classy too,' John said with a sarcastic tone before gaining the attention of the barman.

'What are we going to sing then, Dude?' Jack asked once John had given his order. 'Something modern?'

'You know that's anything post 1995 to me.'

'How about some Kanye?'

'How about no,' John replied without missing a beat.

'You really don't like him, do you?'

'No I don't,' John shook his head. 'And anybody with the ability to hear should agree with me.'

'I know,' Jack exclaimed with the click of his fingers, choosing to ignore John's scathing review of one of his favourite artists. 'Why don't we premiere that Lady Gaga track we've been working on for the next gig?'

John loved the musical side Jack brought out of him. Before he met the young American he never would have dreamt of learning to play a song by such an artist. Some suggestions he drew the line at but John's repertoire was growing all the time because of his new accompanist.

'Alright,' John agreed. 'We'll just take these drinks over to the table then I'll put our names down. I trust you brought the foot drum?'

Jack smiled a wide smile. 'And my tambourine.'

Not many people had entered the proceedings, meaning John and Jack didn't have long to wait to perform. They approached the performance area amidst a chorus of cheers and wolf whistles from their group. Setting up their equipment, the landlord approached them with a quizzical eye.

'What on earth is that contraption?' He asked, pointing at the foot drum Jack was in the process of setting up.

'It's a drum,' Jack replied, pressing the pedal before rhythmic thuds began to fill the air.

'Why not just use a drum kit?'

John laughed as he took in the look of disbelief on Jack's face. His friends response was priceless, Jack lifting the carry case for the instrument. 'Because you can't fit a drum kit in a bag this size, man.'

Lost for words to formulate a response, the landlord turned to face the punters who made up the audience. He tapped the microphone once, then twice before speaking. 'Okay, your next act on The Royal Oak's open mic night is, er…' He turned to Jack and John. 'What are you called?'

John shrugged. 'Jack and John.'

'No man, Ross and Bates. Or better still, R and B.'

'Really?' John grimaced.

'It's cool. Ross and Bates, R and B, rhythm and blues. It's got a ring to it.'

'Okay, I think they are called R and B but they aren't sure. Anyway, they are going to sing for you now, Radio Gaga.'

'No,' Jack interrupted, 'a song by Lady Gaga.'

The landlord walked away then, leaving John and Jack to perform. They positioned themselves behind their microphones, the room was silent. With a nod of the head exchanged between them, John began to count them in.

'A one, two, three…'

As the chords on his guitar began to fill the air, Jack displayed his perfect rhythm and the connection they shared by tapping the foot drum and shaking his tambourine in time to John's playing. After a few bars, Jack started to sing the first verse.

_'I want to hold them like they do in Texas please, fold 'em, let 'em, hit me, raise it, baby stay with me…'_

The younger females in their party were seemingly loving their choice of song, whooping and clapping as John took over the singing for the next line, smiling as he saw Anna and her friends rising to their feet to dance. The expression on the landlord's face told John the usual acts on these particular evenings didn't evoke quite the same reaction.

_'Love game intuition play the game with spades to start, and after she's been hooked I'll play the one that's on her heart.'_

For the next part of the song, John and Jack sang together. He didn't like to come across as too conceited, so he never voiced his opinions, but John felt Jack's silky smooth tones complimented his more rough, rocky sounding voice perfectly.

_' Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…'_

As they led the song further on, John couldn't help but keep his gaze solely on Anna. She looked like she was having the time of her life, singing along with her girlfriends. She seemed the epitome of happiness, and every time he took her in John had to remind himself to breathe. She really was beautiful, stunningly so and she did something every day that made John fall in love with her all over again. The way she was moving in time to the music, the sway of her hips, John struggled to believe Anna was really his. When she looked up to meet his eye as he and Jack neared the chorus, John struggled for a moment to remember the words.

_'I'll get her hot, show her what I've got,'_ the two men sang in unison, John having to swallow hard before composing himself to launch into the familiar words of the chorus with Jack._ 'Can't read my, can't read my, no she can't read my Poker Face.'_

The pair struggled to hear their own singing over the participation of Anna and her friends, but John loved to see them all having so much fun. As they continued the song, a few of the other members of the audience were getting into the performance as well. But John only had eyes for his fiancée. Although he could see out of the corner of his eye Jack feeding off those gathered in front of them, John couldn't avert his gaze from the woman he would be calling his wife in a few days.

As the song reached it's completion, it was quite obvious John and Jack had blown their fellow acts out of the water. They were met with an eruption of cheers and applause once finished, Jack offering John a congratulatory high five. But then something amazing happened, and John thought he was hearing things. He could quite clearly make out the chant of 'more, more, more,' coming from those gathered, and they weren't the voices of those who had accompanied himself and Jack to the pub this evening.

'You'll have to ask the landlord about that one,' John heard Jack saying next. So he wasn't imagining it.

'Go ahead lads, you were the last act on the bill.'

'John?'

John looked up to see Jack's hopeful face and he couldn't help but nod his permission. He was taken aback. They had been appreciated at their gigs at Cheerful Charlie's, but this was different. This wasn't an audience out for a night of music. It was everyday people who had come to the pub to unwind after a hard day at work, or a catch up with friends. And they had enjoyed what he had just done with Jack. It was an amazing feeling. An addictive one in fact.

A realisation came over John. He had never really craved the adulation that could come with playing music, only ever really using it as an escape. But now he had nothing to run from, John had found a whole new respect for his craft, a whole new reason to enjoy making music. For other's enjoyment.

'Alrighty, so what do you want to hear?' Jack asked those gathered in front of them. John chanced a glance at Anna, who was looking on with a smile from ear to ear. He nodded in her direction, a gesture she reciprocated before he thought he should probably focus on the task in hand.

'You know_ Desperado_?' A slightly rough, male Yorkshire accent said from the back of the room. 'By The Eagles.'

'A slight departure from Lady Gaga but I know that one.' John could feel Jack's gaze upon him. 'How about you, partner?'

Lifting his head to look at Jack, John nodded. 'You might need the keyboard for this one.'

******************************************  
So what had started as playing one song as part of a little Yorkshire pub's open mic night had turned into Ross and Bates's first northern gig. Anna couldn't help the sense of pride that flowed through her. That man up there, playing any song that was thrown at him with passion and flair, was soon to be her husband. John was doing what he loved and it made Anna feel so wonderful she could possibly be the reason he could now enjoy his passion without having to use it as a release.

They had sung so many songs. From Lady Gaga to The Eagles, Ed Sheeran to Queen, Dolly Parton to Green Day. Any song that had been requested, the two men had given everything their best shot. As they came to the end of a rendition of Can't Buy Me Love by The Beatles, the landlord announced last call.

'One more song, lads,' he called over to them as people approached the bar to order their last round. John and Jack were deep in conversation behind their microphones, their back to those gathered.

'I wonder what they are talking about,' Matthew wondered before putting a handful of peanuts into his mouth.

'Well it might be the podgy tummy you are getting from eating all these snacky foods, Matthew Crawley.' Mary preceded to pat her husbands belly, much to the amusement of those gathered.

'Who wants another drink?' Robert stood up and began to take orders from his family, 'Anna?'

'Not for me, Robert.' Anna replied.

'Me and Daisy are going to get one last pitcher,' Ethel announced, rising to her rather shaky feet and dragging her friend behind her.

'Jack is brilliant, isn't he?' Anna turned to regard Gwen who had just spoken, one eyebrow raised. She had her suspicions Gwen might have been taken with the American by the way they had walked together and had been laughing most of their way to the pub.

'He's very good,' Anna agreed with a nod, 'they make a great team. Him and John.'

'Okay, so you may be able to tell from our accents that we aren't from these parts,' Jack began to speak, the background noise of fellow drinkers slowly dying down to listen. 'We are in fact in Yorkshire because my partner here is marrying one of your local girls in a couple of days.' Jack pointed in Anna's direction. 'The beautiful blonde on that table, in fact. So we have both made the decision to allow the bride to pick the last song.'

Anna felt the eyes of the room on her, but she was staring straight at John, he standing and rhythmically drumming his fingers on the top of his guitar, waiting for her to make her choice. He would be expecting some Weller, or perhaps one of her cheesy pop songs. But a moment suddenly came back to her, when she had popped into see John after a recent shopping trip with Dylan. They had stumbled across John and Jack at the back of the shop, working on a song by a rather famous artist. Her future husband was showing off a talent he never had done before, and Anna decided she wanted to hear it again.

'Okay, I'd like to hear some MJ.'

'Oh, good choice Anna,' Mary encouraged her friend. 'We might have finally vested the human juke boxes.'

'No, no,' John counteracted, taking one step forward. Anna realised John might have guessed which song she was meaning, probably remembering when she had walked in on him and Jack at Cheerful Charlie's. 'Which song, my love?'

'Black Or White.'

Anna felt her heart skip a beat at John's raise of the eyebrows and grin upon hearing her suggestion, but she knew he could do it. The two of them had sounded brilliant in the shop, and Anna knew they had been working on the song for a future gig.

'Alright, never let it be said R and B shirk from a challenge,' Jack spoke into his microphone. He looked behind him at the musical instruments sitting at the back of the stage, before trying to garner the attention of the landlord. 'Are they your instruments?'

'My son's. His band play here Thursday evenings.'

'Oh yeah, they're called Thumbs Up If You're Awful,' Anna heard Gary reveal, 'me and Phil were in here the last time they were on.'

'And our thumbs up were up quite a lot,' Phillip added.

Jack had gained permission to use one of the electric guitars behind him, currently tuning it up. It could never be said John and Jack didn't take their music seriously. Anna couldn't wait for this.

'Ready?' John asked Jack as he played the riff of the famous song on the unfamiliar instrument a couple of times, the audience reacting positively to the recognisable tune. Jack nodded, positioning himself before John turned to address the crowd. 'Okay, this is for my beautiful bride. Black or White.'

Jack counted them in this time and in the next moment the room was filled with music once more, Anna amazed as Jack even managed to still tap his foot drum in time. It was a very good attempt at such a famous song, and Anna could tell from the reaction in the room, everybody else thought so too. The upbeat nature also meant John and Jack moved more, which pleased her no end. Her husband had a natural rhythm and she loved to see him move in time to the music he was performing. She knew Jack took the lead a bit more on this song, his voice more suited to it but John was singing along all the same.

_'I took my baby on a Saturday bang, boy is that girl with you, yes we're one and the same, now I believe in miracles and a miracle has happened tonight. But if you're thinking about my baby, it don't matter if you're '_ John joined in with the next lyric, choosing to share Jack's microphone, _'black or white'_

They continued in this vein, Anna prouder than she had ever been as she took in the sight of almost the entire pub on their feet joining in. It felt as though she really was at one of John's gigs and she knew he must have been absolutely loving this. But the moment was coming up when John was sure to take a few of those at her table by surprise, and she couldn't wait for it. As he began, Anna looked around the faces of those at her table, looking at John completely agog as he took the mantle from Jack.

_'Protection, For gangs, clubs and nations. Causing grief in human relations. It's a turf war, on a global scale, I'd rather hear both sides of the tale…'_

'Anna, John is rapping,' Tom exclaimed, pointing excitedly to the stage. 'And he's good!'

'You've heard him do that before, haven't you?' Mary asked with a smirk, Anna simply smiling knowingly in her direction.

_'I've seen the bright get duller,__ I'm not going to spend my life being a colour.'_

'_Tell me if you agree with me, when I saw you kicking dirt in my eye, but if you're thinking about my baby, it don't matter if you're…' _John and Jack continued to sing in unison before offering the next part to the audience which they gratefully accepted.

'_Black or white.'_

_'I said if you're thinking of being my baby it don't matter of you're black or white,'_ Jack had now stopped playing and placed an arm around John as they sang together, _'if you're thinking of being my brother, it don't matter if you're black or white.'_

The crowd erupted as they finished, John and Jack wrapping an arm around each other's shoulders and accepting the applause with a bow. After thanking the landlord who reciprocated gratefully, they were walking back towards the table, Anna moving forward and meeting John half way, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

'You were wonderful,' she whispered.

'Thank you,' John replied, Anna feeling the warmth of his kiss on her temple.

'My very own rock star.'

*****************************************  
The next day, Anna's family had surprised her and John with a trip to Scotland for a honeymoon, with Dylan of course. Both were overwhelmed by her families generosity, neither thinking they would be able to afford a trip themselves, what with John's overdue promise of buying a car and the cost of the wedding. It would be needed, especially in a few months time when Anna would be going back to work and she would need to ferry Dylan between Helen, Cora and possibly a day nursery.

As evening approached, John had packed a bag to take with him as he prepared to stay with the Crawley's. Tomorrow was the big day, and in keeping with tradition his best man had offered him the spare room at the Crawley's cottage. It hurt to be leaving Anna and Dylan behind, but tomorrow he would never have to be without them ever again. They would be a proper family, the Bates's and that notion filled his heart to the brim with joy.

Gwen had arrived to join the party, being Anna's bridesmaid alongside Molly and maid of honour, Jane. John took this as his cue to leave, asking to feed Dylan in the conservatory before he left. Sitting with his son in the relative peace and quiet- excited shrills could still be heard from the house- John stared at the little human being that had changed his life completely. Dylan looked back as he drank his milk, holding eye contact with his father. John couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face. He was holding his son. That thought never failed to give him goose bumps.

'Don't mind another one in here, do you John?' Lifting his head, John saw James entering the conservatory, closing the door behind him. 'Can't handle all that girly chat and Phil and Gary have taken the kids to the park.'

'Of course,' John replied, he wasn't going o deny the owner of the house entry to his own conservatory.

'So, you surprised a few of us last night,' James remarked as he got comfortable in the seat opposite John. 'I knew you could play the guitar and sing a bit, but that was impressive.'

'Thank you,' John was gracious in accepting his future father in laws praise, particularly when he hadn't always been a willing participant in the past when John was encouraged to play.

'I bet you never knew this but I used to dabble in entertainment myself. I used to sing in a band with a couple of my friends.'

'Really?' John raised his eyebrows in surprise, he really hadn't been expecting that. 'Anna never mentioned it.'

'Oh, I stopped when the kids were little, I had to work for a living, Harriet gave up to be a full time Mum. There was never time for music once they arrived. I used to sing to Anna when she was a little girl, but she, her brother and sister have no idea I was in a band.'

Curiosity overtook John. 'What did you use to sing?'

'Anything and everything,' James gently chuckled as he reminisced. 'I was a fan of swing but would give anything a go. There was one song in particular I would sing to Anna, by John Denver._ Annie's Song_, mainly because it almost sounded like her name.'

'That's a beautiful song.'

'We'd sit in the hammock that used to be over there,' James continued, pointing to the end of the garden, 'and I'd sing it to her. She was a proper little Daddy's girl.'

'She thinks the world of you, and Harriet as well. And do I.' John hoped his tone was telegraphing how grateful he was to the man before him, and his wife. 'You have raised a wonderful woman and I am very lucky not only to be the father to her son, but to be marrying her tomorrow.'

James chuckled at that, nodding profusely in the process. 'All we ever wanted for the kids was that they met someone who they could be happy with and we've been blessed that not only have they found that, we have found another daughter in Becky, and two more sons in you and Gary.'

'Sorry to interrupt.' Anna appeared at the door then, peering around it. 'Robert is here for you, John.'

'Right,' John nodded, sitting forward with Dylan in his arms.

'Dad, would you mind giving me and John a moment?'

'Of course not.' James heaved himself to his feet, stopping to pat John on the shoulder before looking to his daughter. 'Have they stopped talking dresses?'

'Come on Dad, this is the night before my wedding.'

'Hmm, I might go and nurse a pint at the Oak,' he replied teasingly before leaving the room.

'Is he all fed?'

'Yep, just needs his rusk but he seems satisfied at the moment.' John rose to his feet then, handing the boy over to Anna before taking a step back.

He watched intently as Anna held Dylan close, hushing him as he protested at being moved from his comfortable position in John's arms. It took no time at all for him to be happy and smiling at his mother. She was a natural and John would quite happily observe as they interacted with each other. It was the most beautiful sight in the world to John to see the two of them giggling together or Anna holding Dylan's undivided attention as she spoke to him. It was an overwhelming feeling to know the two perfect individuals before him were the centre of his universe.

'Okay, we have to say goodbye to Daddy now,' Anna said in whispered tones, looking up to meet John's gaze. 'As much as we don't want to.'

'Shall we make this quick?' John suggested, his voice a little broken by the emotions he was trying so hard not to let over take him.

Anna furrowed her brow, John could read she was concerned about him. 'Are you okay?'

He shrugged. 'I just can't believe how watching you pass me on a walkway every morning had led to this moment. Tomorrow I am marrying the most beautiful woman I have ever met and here she is before me, holding our son.'

She smiled at that, and in that moment all John wanted to do was kiss her. So he did, stepping forward and pressing his lips to hers, placing a strong hand on her upper arm, careful of the baby in her embrace. John knew better than to deepen the kiss, but he didn't need to. Any kiss he shared with Anna was filled with the same passion and feeling be it or passionate or innocent such as this one. He pulled away when he felt a slight warmth on his arm, looking down to see Dylan had decided to explore John's forearm with his mouth.

'Very nice, son,' John grimaced in mock annoyance, the sight of him wiping his arm clean causing Anna to giggle. John couldn't help but join in with her laughter, before placing a kiss on Dylan's head.

'Right, Robert will be wondering where you are,' Anna said, straightening one of the buttons on John's polo shirt as she spoke. He met her eye once more. 'See you at the top of the aisle.'

'I'll be waiting.'


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N- Never written a wedding before so I hope I haven't warbled on, just wanted to get as much detail in as possible. The speeches were very hard and I'm still not happy with that section but how many times can you rewrite? Music has always been a big part of this story and remains so in this chapter.  
**

** Thanks once again for your reviews and follows. **

**Disclaimer-** Downton belongs to ITV, Carnival and Julian Fellowes, not me.

* * *

With all the fanfare of getting ready for the wedding, John hadn't had a chance to even look at his phone, much less gather his thoughts for the day ahead. As they drove in the car to the church, John finally had a moment to breathe. Scrolling past a message from Tom with a roll of the eyes, seeing an attached picture of a ball and chain he noticed Anna had tried to get in contact. Opening the notification, he smiled as the image of Dylan all fresh from a bath with his hair spiked up filled the screen. Accompany the picture was a message which read _'Nice and clean for Mummy and Daddy's big day, we love you x.' _

Nudging Robert with his elbow, trying to garner his attention, John showed him the picture of his son. 'Can you believe I had a hand in creating such a perfect little thing?'

Robert eyed the message, nodding in agreement with his friend before replying. 'Yeah, but I still can't believe you managed to bag someone as gorgeous as Anna in the first place. Anything else is small fry compared to that.'

'Yeah, thanks pal,' John huffed as he set about composing a reply to his soon to be wife.

Upon arriving at the church set within the grounds of the reception venue, Downton Abbey, John was surprised to see how many people had already arrived. Jack was accompanied by Charles and his wife Elsie, a nice surprise when they had initially said they weren't sure if they could make it. A few of his and Robert's old army comrades were walking in as he and his best man began to walk towards the church doors, the men sharing hearty hand shakes and they offering John their congratulations. Deciding to stop for a moment, nerves suddenly getting the best of him having realised how many people were present, John felt it best to stay in the fresh air.

'Hello, hello, look how well you two scrub up.' John and Robert turned to see Ethel and Daisy walking towards them, the rest of the Crawley's following. It was Daisy who had been speaking, John nodding in acknowledgement of her remark.

'The navy suits were my idea,' Robert commented before greeting each of his daughter's in turn, their partner's before his wife.

'Like hell it was,' John guffawed at his friends words, 'you wanted us to wear white.'

'Smooth,' Tom said with a grin. 'I would have paid money to see you two standing at the top of the aisle looking like you had wandered out of the eighties.'

'Well whoever's idea it was, it was inspired,' Cora brushed the upper arm of Robert's suit before leaning on tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. She turned her attentions to John, the groom noticing the shimmering of a tear in the eye of his best friend's wife. She placed a hand on his shoulder, her voice breaking as she spoke. 'The two of you look gorgeous and make me feel so proud.'

'Thanks Cora,' John took her in his embrace then, hoping she understood how far his gratitude went. Robert was his best mate, but it was the two of them who both helped him through one of the most turbulent periods of his life and he would forever be grateful.

They carried on inside then, leaving John and Robert alone in the church yard. John was balling his fists in his palm, beginning to pace up and down. He kept telling himself it was natural for a groom to feel this way, but right now John felt like his heart was going to beat free from his chest. There was still time for Anna to back out. He knew deep down she wouldn't do that to him, not after how far they had come together and all they had been through, but whilst the chance was still there…

'Fancy a smoke?' Robert asked, revealing a packet of cigarettes from his breast pocket, he moving to the other side of the church so he was out of view, John following.

'A cigarette?' John furrowed his brow as the sun reflected on the shiny blue box in Robert's hand, causing him to squint. 'You haven't smoked since the last time we came back from Bosnia.'

Robert shrugged as he placed one of the cigarettes in his mouth, then offered the box to John. 'I thought they might be needed.'

John hadn't smoked for years, not certainly since he had known Anna. But needs must. 'Yeah, go on then.'

They stood side by side, leaning back against the brickwork of the church wall and John felt his nerves ease slightly as he exhaled his first puff of smoke.

'Is that better?'

'What?'

'I could tell you were getting a bit edgy,' Robert replied with a smirk. 'She won't stand you up, you know. There are three things certain in this life. One, having to pay taxes. Two, no one lives forever and three, Anna Smith will marry John Bates.'

'That's very poetic, mate.'

'Yeah, well act surprised later, it might be how I open my speech.'

'I hope Anna is surprised when myself and Jack sing a couple of songs with the band tonight.'

'I'm sure she'll love it, but just remember who was your best friend first.'

John turned his head to look at Robert, smirking slightly. 'You'll always be my best mate, Rob. No matter what. You know too much.'

With his nervousness suitably subsided and his one and only cigarette smoked, John agreed with Robert's suggestion they make their way to the front of the church. Once there, John shook hands with the vicar, Reverend Thomas who had married Harriet and James, as well as christened Anna and her siblings. It was important to Anna that those links were evident on their own day, and John had been only too happy to oblige.

Looking back into the congregation, John's attention was caught by Anna's family making their way into the church. Gary appeared first, little Toby reluctantly following as he held his father's hand. Phil and Becky were walking behind, but then John saw Dylan in Harriet's arms and he found he couldn't look anywhere else. His perfect little boy looked adorable in a navy blue waistcoat, trousers, white shirt and burgundy bow tie, the same outfit young Toby was wearing too. His blonde hair had been gelled into some sort of spiky style, no doubt Anna's handy work.

'Hello,' John said softly, bending down to greet Toby. 'You alright mate?'

'I look silly,' Toby replied, tugging at his bow tie.

'You look far from silly, Toby,' John gently squeezed the little boys upper arm, his response was to hide even more behind his father's legs.

'Don't worry John, he'll loosen up once the party begins later,' Gary said as John rose to his feet again before shaking his hand. 'You look great.'

'Thanks,' John smiled, straightening out his jacket. 'I see all the Smith women are vying for my heart today. Becky, Harriet, you look beautiful.'

'You charmer,' Harriet cooed as Anna's family made their way into the front pew, her mother now standing in front of John with Dylan, who was actively trying to find out where his Daddy's voice was coming from. 'This little lad would like to say hello.'

'Can I hold him?'

'Make sure he isn't sick on your suit, son.' John looked up to see Helen making her way up the aisle, having stopped half way down to say hello to some of her and John's family who had made the trip over from Ireland. Taking Dylan in one arm, he held his other open to accept his mother into his embrace.

'He's fine, Mam,' John insisted, releasing her from his hold so he could better look at his son, Dylan looking up and smiling as he recognised John. 'Hello mate, Daddy has missed his little Peanut. Don't you look smart, today? No doubt it was Mummy who did your hair like that.' After a few seconds of greeting Dylan, John looked down at his mother, feeling his heart tug as he saw a tear fall down her cheek. For what he was sure wouldn't be the only time today, John felt his own eyes sting with the threat of tears. 'Oh Mam, don't do this to me.'

'I'm just so proud of you, my Lad,' Helen murmured, running a hand over the back of Dylan's head. 'Of both of you. You look quite the picture.'

'I love you,' John whispered to her, leaning down to place a kiss on her cheek. 'Thanks for everything. I owe you so much.'

'Ahh, be gone with you,' Helen patted him on the shoulder. 'You're my son. I'd do it all over again.'

'They are here.'

John looked over his shoulder to see Reverend Thomas offering him a knowing smile, the groom gesturing with a nod of the head he understood. Releasing a steady breath, John passed Dylan to his grandmother, who proceeded to walk into the pew with the Crawley's. Moving to take his position beside Robert, John waited for the familiar sound of the wedding march to begin.

'Good luck,' Robert said as the organ began to fill the vast atmosphere of the church, John taking time to breathe in deeply. He heard the faint knocking of the church doors opening, indicating that his bride was about to make her ascent up the aisle. It was like magnetism, John feeling drawn to Anna and turning around to drink her in. They had only been apart barely twenty four hours, but that had been more than enough.

And there she was. Anna, his bride. John could barely move from the spot, let alone form a coherent thought. She looked breathtaking, her floor length white gown exuding elegance, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders like golden waves. If God had struck him down then and there, John would have gone knowing he had seen the most beautiful sight his eyes could have ever witnessed.

She was half way down the aisle now, the smile on her face as she looked at the congregation as she passed them the sweetest John had ever seen. In the moment Anna met his gaze he couldn't help but reciprocate her expression, trying his hardest to keep his emotions in check. He was thinking of all they had been through together to reach this point, and John suddenly couldn't believe this was actually happening.

But it was, and now Anna had reached his side, she accepting her father's embrace and handing her flowers to a rather gorgeous looking Gwen. With the emotions of seeing his fiancée walk up the aisle, this was the first time John had chanced a glance at her bridesmaids. Molly looked beautiful, holding the hand of her mother, maid of honour Jane. John looked down at the little girl, offering her a wink to which she responded with a giggle. After a few whispered words of good luck, Jane and Gwen took their positions behind the re-united couple.

'Hello,' Anna mouthed, looking at John in a way in which she never had before. It made his heart skip a beat, his breath catch in his throat. Here they stood as two, but before they left the church they would be joined as one and he wondered if that notion affected Anna as much as it did him.

'Hello beautiful,' John replied with a smirk, feeling Anna wrap her little finger around his. 'What took you so long? I've been waiting my whole life for this moment.'

He felt the adrenaline rush through his veins as the blush on Anna's cheeks registered with him. 'Was it worth the wait?'

'Oh yes.'

* * *

She had been anxious, but as soon as she was by John's side, Anna felt those sensations disappear. She was glad for her father's steady presence by her side, the man who had been her rock through so much, her first love. Upon the church doors opening, she had initially been blinded by the sheer amount of people with their eyes focussed on her. Once in the church, she saw so many people she recognised and loved, and was partially set at ease.

But then she saw John and everything and everyone else paled into insignificance. The same rush she used to get seeing him every morning at Waterloo came flooding back, only ten fold. She had never really seen John in a proper suit before, but she was enamoured with his choice of navy blue, the burgundy ties she had insisted on present as well. She had imagined this moment growing up, of seeing her man at the top of the aisle waiting for her, but even her wildest imaginings had never matched up to what she saw before her.

Anna couldn't reach him soon enough. They whispered some words to each other that she committed to her memory, Anna knowing they would remain there until her dying day. And then Reverend Thomas began. The ceremony passed in a blur, it was all like a dream. When it came to exchanging their vows, Anna had never been surer in that moment of her feelings for the man whose hands she held in hers. She finally felt complete as he slipped the cold metal of her silver wedding band over the third finger on her left hand. His had been a slightly more snug fit, causing a moment of laughter amongst those gathered as she momentarily struggled to push the band over the middle joint in his finger.

'Well that's not coming off very easily,' he had softly said so only she could hear. 'Your stuck with me now, for good and proper.'

All that was left was for Reverend Thomas to pronounce them man and wife, Anna gripping John's hand tightly with her own as the clergyman uttered the words she had been waiting to hear from the moment she had very first heard John sing. It had been that instant for Anna. She had just known.

'Those that God had joined together, let no man put asunder. I now pronounce you man and wife.' Anna watched as Reverend Thomas leant closer to John, one of his eyebrows raised. 'You may now kiss your bride.'

Unable to stop the happy laugh that escaped her, Anna looked up to see her groom mirroring what she was sure was her expression as well.

'I love you,' he said just as their lips were about to meet, raising his eyebrows in that way that she adored. 'Mrs Bates.'

'I love you too, Mr Bates.'

And God knows she did. Her baby boy aside, more than anything or anyone.

* * *

The main reception hall at the Abbey completely took John's breath away as they entered it, announced by Robert as the newest Mr and Mrs Bates, carrying Dylan in with them. Once he had sat contentedly through the service, asleep for the most part, he hadn't wanted to for the photographs and it was a relief to have the formalities of the ceremony over with before he started to create.

He was thankfully happy enough for his grandmothers to fuss over him as they ate dinner, taking over what would normally be his and Anna's duties of feeding and changing their son. After greeting the band and the DJ who would make up the evening's entertainment, they set up their equipment as the speeches commenced. James's pride was evident as he rose to his feet, ready to wax lyrical about his wonderful, flawless daughter no doubt.

'Good afternoon, and thank you all for coming,' he had begun, John and Anna's guests hanging on his every word. 'I think you'll all agree it's been a wonderful day so far, our wonderful daughter Anna marrying her Prince Charming, John.'

'Are we talking about the same John?' Robert had quipped, John rolling his eyes. He dreaded what his best man had in store for him when his speech came around.

'It wasn't evident upon Anna first telling us about John that he would turn out to be the man of her dreams. But I'll be the first to admit, we were wrong. From the trauma of Dylan's birth, and in the subsequent weeks and months, John has been a tower of strength for our Anna, and seeing them together we couldn't be more thrilled to witness them marry today. They were truly meant for one another.'

John averted his gaze from James to look at Anna as she turned to him, her face beaming, he offering her a subtle wink and a smile in return. He knew it had taken some effort to win over her family, particularly in light of how quickly their relationship had developed, but evidently, it seemed now he had.

'However, it seems like only yesterday Anna was destined to marry one of the many pin ups on her wall.'

'Oh God, Dad,' Anna had winced, her face immediately turning a deep shade of crimson. John chuckled in response as Anna leant back into his embrace, he listening to her father's words with interest.

'Danny Wahlberg from New Kids On The Block had been her first true love…'

'Donny,' Anna corrected him with a sigh.

'Right,' James nodded. 'Then came Mark or Robbie from Take That. Whichever, she wasn't fussy.'

'Yeah, thanks Dad,' Anna said as ripples of laughter broke out amongst those gathered.

'And she'd line up her teddies in the garden, usually when me and Phil were watching the cricket, or Harriet and Jane were chatting in the kitchen and she thought that no one noticed.' Thoughts of his conversation in the garden with Anna came flooding back to John, knowing that was the memory James was referring to. 'But we did and in those moments we knew this day would come for you, Anna. You wanted it so badly and we, your family, are so pleased that you found your own pop star husband in the man you used to refer to as My Busker.'

John noticed as Anna stared at her father, mouth agape before she slowly turned her head to look at Mary who was looking on proudly. It must have been her loose lipped boss who had told James about the nickname she held for John when they had simply been commuter and performer.

'You,' Anna pointed at Mary, all Mary could do was laugh more heartily in response.

'So all that is left for me to do is to raise a toast to my daughter, and the love of her life.' He held his champagne flute aloft. 'Anna and John.'

As they accepted the congratulations, John didn't notice Robert rise to his feet once more, soon clinking his glass with a spoon, clearly enjoying his duties as best man.

'And now ladies and gentleman, I give you the groom.'

Clearing his throat, John stood up to the ovation of those gathered in front of him. He thought he would be feeling more nervous, but he knew he could do this. He wanted to say what he was about to, wanted everyone to know how deep his feelings for the woman he now called his wife went. As the applause died down, he leant behind him to his jacket which was hanging on the back of his chair, taking a piece of paper from the breast pocket and unfolding it.

'Hello everyone, thank you all for coming today. Before I begin to talk about the beautiful young woman by my side, I'd like to start by thanking the bridesmaids who I think you'll agree look absolutely stunning, especially little Molly who is looking particularly pretty today.' His words were met with noises of encouragement, John allowing them to settle before continuing. 'And of course Toby and our little Peanut, Dylan who put myself and my best man to shame in their little suits. And speaking of my best man.'

John turned to look at Robert then, who was leaning back against his chair leisurely, no doubt plotting how best he could embarrass John in a few minutes. 'There was no question that you would be my best man today, mate because to me there is no better man. Thanks for everything.'

A silent nod of acknowledgement passed between the old comrades, the silence in the room signifying that those present understood how deep their bond ran.

'Also, thanks must go to our parents, my Mam who I love to the ends of the Earth and is far too much the mother I deserve and my Father, who cannot be here today but who I think about every single day.' John stopped for a moment, turning his head to set his gaze upon his mother, she smiling upon hearing his dedication to her beloved husband. 'And of course Anna's parents Harriet and James, as well as the rest of her family who have accepted me into their world after an understandably shaky beginning. Know that I love Anna and she and Dylan are the most important thing in the world to me.'

'We know, John,' Harriet assured him from her position a few seats along at the top table. He smiled in his mother in law's direction, before allowing another beat to pass. Now he had reached the part of his speech he had been longing to read aloud.

'Now, lets talk about my wife, shall we? The truth is, I knew I was in love with her long before I heard her speak or even knew her name. For those of you who don't know, I used to busk regularly outside Waterloo Station in London, and Anna would pass me by every week day morning around half past eight, regular as clock work. She would shine in the crowd of commuters and I'd find myself looking out for her every day, making sure I was playing a song she might just think was for her. In the end, it turned out to be a small world as we discovered she was acquainted with Robert's family. And so our relationship stepped up a notch. I knew I was on to a winner when she saw being taken out for a bag of chips as a reasonable date, knew she was special when she held my hand for the first time at a Paul Weller concert but knew she was the one the evening we visited the poppies at the Tower of London together. She knows why.'

John clenched his jaw as he watched Anna bow her head, knowing she was remembering that evening like he was, when she had comforted him when he had his little breakdown by the river. John carried on, his voice shaky as he continued.

'I fell so quickly and so hard you were all I could think about. It took me a while even though you understood why, but I can't begin to describe how happy I am now you are my wife. Thank you for Dylan, although he arrived much earlier than either of us had anticipated, I think we'd both agree he is the best part of our lives. Those first few weeks with him were tough, but it cemented to me how incredibly special and perfect you are. I love you so much. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you'd raise your glasses to my wife, Anna.'

Anna was on her feet as those around her raised a glass in her honour, throwing her arms around John's shoulders. She was crying, and all John wanted to do in that moment was hold her.

'Was that alright?' he whispered in her ear.

'That was beautiful,' Anna replied, kissing the skin where his jaw met his neck. 'I love you.'

'Okay, now it's the moment you've all been waiting for.'

'Oh God,' John moved his head away from Anna, turning to see Robert ready to begin his speech. They both sat down, John's fingers entwined with Anna's as he awaited the onslaught.

'My name is Robert and for those of you who don't know me, I am the best man. Now, before I start, the Abbey manager has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.'

'Fasten your seatbelt, darling,' John heard Anna whisper in his ear.

'It's true to say, myself and John have seen the best and worst of each other, having met in the army. We saw a lot on numerous deployments and I know I wouldn't have got through what we saw or experienced without John Bates. It's the truth when I say there is no one I would feel safer or prouder walking beside into battle.'

John raised his eyebrows in surprise at Robert's words, truly believing his speech would be a few minutes of character assassination, but was touched by what his friend had begun by saying.

'However, that being said,' Robert continued, his face now the epitome of mischievousness. Maybe John had spoken too soon. 'I am giving John this testimony even after the time he babysat for my youngest daughter so myself and my wife could enjoy an evening out. We came home to find John covered in make up, his luscious locks in rollers and Cora's finest string of pearls around his neck, singing a stunning duet with his Goddaughter of A Whole New World from Aladdin. He was Princess Jasmine of course. It's just a shame it was in the days before instant cameras and camera phones.'

'Yeah, a great shame,' John said without any great enthusiasm. 'Thanks for that, Robert.'

'Well, that's you all over, John. Considerate to others, so many men would have refused to be Sybil's doll but you willingly accepted her request.'

'I remember that,' John heard Sybil say through laughter, he immediately looking to his Goddaughter. 'It was actually John's…'

'Sybil,' John tried to hush her, putting his index finger to his lips. He was relieved to hear Robert's baritone filling the room once more.

'And of course there was that time on a lads weekend in Barcelona.' John's eyes went wide, knowing full well what Robert was about to say, he silently begging him with his expression not to go into too much detail, considering who was present. 'Well let's just say I've never looked at a sombrero in the same way but I can assure you all if Dylan takes after his father he'll never be embarrassed in the showers.'

'Oh God,' John rested his head in his hands, hearing laughter fill the room around him. Trust Robert to make a joke like that, in front of his new in-laws. Thankfully as he lifted his head, they appeared to take it in good humour.

'He's been through the ringer has John, particularly since we left the army so I think we can forgive him a few little misdemeanours. In truth, it wasn't until a little under two years ago he actually seemed genuinely happy and of course, this coincided with his and Anna's meeting each other. Of course, it took them a further six months to actually say hello but that's neither here nor there. They got there in the end. Therefore, the biggest mention today has to go to Anna. I want to thank John's stunning bride for making him happy, finally.' Anna placed a hand on John's back between his shoulder blades as he glanced at her over his shoulder. 'So join me for another toast. To Anna and John, to the happy couple.'

* * *

Catching her breath after the whirlwind of the past few hours, Anna held Dylan in her arms as she finally sat down to have a moment with her son. She was watching John chatting intently with the band who had set up at one end of the grand hall in the Abbey, the DJ playing soft music in the background at the other. Anna had left the organisation of music to John, understanding it was his forte and that this part of proceedings was the most important thing to him. It was true music had been a massive part of their relationship up until now, it had been John's performing that had brought them together after all, and Anna trusted him to ensure the evening's entertainment lived up to their expectations.

The Crawley's and their various tag alongs had made their base at one of the tables in the corner, Helen joining them and enjoying Tom's company very much, the two of them sharing a common trait in being Irish. Anna was sitting at the table her family had called their own, although her father, brother and brother in law were last seen eyeing up the mini golf course in the grounds of the abbey. Her mother and sister would not be happy when they realised. Becky was catching up with some old school friends a few tables down, having trusted Molly to look after Toby as they played in the grand hall. Whether that would prove to be a wise decision was still open to debate.

'Are you alright, my darling?' Harriet asked, placing a hand on Anna's shoulder. 'Are you pleased with how today has gone?'

'Yes Mum, it's been wonderful,' Anna cooed as she gently bounced Dylan on her knee. 'More than I could have hoped for when I was lining my teddy bears up in the garden.'

'I can't believe Dad remembered that,' Jane joined in the conversation, turning towards the two other women.

'He remembers more than you think,' Harriet said in her husband's defence. 'You three kids are absolutely everything to him.'

'Aunty Jane, Toby's bumped his head,' Molly shouted from the entrance to the room, pointing behind her.

'Great,' Jane rose to her feet, 'and of course Gary is no where to be seen.' Harriet placed a hand on Anna's arm before following her eldest daughter out of the room.

'Those cousins of yours eh, Dyl?' Anna whispered to her son, kissing his head softly.

'Well, we've been blown off,' Ethel announced as she and Daisy sat beside Anna. Creasing her forehead at her friend's words, Anna looked on as Ethel pointed to the bar where Gwen and Jack were seemingly talking very intimately to each other. 'Seems they've made a date for when we're back down south.'

'Good on her,' Anna said with a smile in her voice. 'Jack's a lovely bloke.'

'Let's just hope Ethel doesn't try and snog him like she did John.'

'Yeah, thanks for that Daisy,' Ethel sulked, taking a sip of her drink through her straw before placing it on the table with a thud, then running a hand over her brow. 'I'm never going to get married.'

Anna and Daisy sighed in unison, sharing a look out of view of Ethel as she took another sip from her drink. Neither knew what to say, Daisy mouthing, 'say something' to Anna and she shrugging her shoulders, before mouthing in response, 'you say something.'

Shaking her head, Daisy rested an arm around Ethel's shoulders. 'Come on, sweetie. There is still plenty of time. I haven't found anyone yet.'

'And that's supposed to make me feel better?' Ethel exclaimed before her straw met her lips once more.

'If you ask me you obsess over this when there is no need,' Anna tried to offer some words of advice. 'Besides, you enjoy the single life too much. Take Evelyn, he was willing to give you the world and you blew him off.'

'Evelyn was one of a few…'

'Then there was Alfred, Jimmy, Tony, Charles, Ethan…'

'So I'm picky,' Ethel interrupted as she stirred her drink with her straw. 'What of it?'

'I think the point Anna is trying to make is it's not that you don't have a lack of admirers, the problem is you aren't willing to commit to any of them because they haven't been good enough to give up the life you enjoy now.'

'Woah, it just got heavy in here,' Gwen commented as she heard the tail end of the conversation, announcing her arrival as she sat beside Daisy.

'We're just trying to convince Ethel she won't always be alone.' Daisy explained to her friend.

'Of course you won't,' Gwen agreed with Daisy and Anna. 'You just have to be patient.'

'Stop looking and love will find you.' Daisy added helpfully.

'Excuse me, is this chair taken?'

All three women looked up to see a dark, handsome man Anna recognised to be one of John's former comrades with his hands resting on the top of the chair beside Ethel.

'No, but it's awfully heavy,' Ethel replied, Anna realising she was flirting with the man. Her friend really was unbelievable. 'Let me help you with that.'

As they walked away, Anna, Gwen and Daisy began to laugh uncontrollably before Daisy commented on the situation. 'That's her sorted for the night then.'

'Honestly Harriet, we weren't really going to have a round of golf.'

Anna looked over her shoulder to see her parents walking into the room, her father's tail firmly between his legs as Jane carried Toby in her arms, a guilty looking Gary beside her. Phil had Molly on his shoulders behind them, Becky now rejoining them having ended her little reunion session.

'What happened?' Anna asked, an ominous lilt to her tone.

'Nothing, we've just reminded your father and brothers this is your wedding and not an opportunity to improve their handicap,' Harriet replied as everyone took their place at the table.

'We couldn't play today anyway,' Gary said as Toby clambered into his lap. 'It's February and it's starting to get dark.'

He got a whack on the shoulder by Jane for his troubles, Anna shaking her head and laughing at the scene before her. This was her family and she wouldn't change them for the world.

'Hey Daisy.' Ethel was back at the table, literally hoisting Daisy up out of her seat. 'These old comrades of John's are lovely. They brought a little one along with them, William. I think he's perfect for you. Come and say hello.'

Daisy didn't have much choice in the matter, grimacing for Gwen and Anna's benefit before following her friend to a table on the opposite side of the room, filled with tall bulky men who had already drunk their own bodyweight in lager going by the empty glasses on their table.

'When's the first dance?' Becky asked as she rearranged Molly's hair a little. 'We're all looking forward to how this evening is going to pan out seeing as John has arranged it all.'

'No pressure then.' John was standing by their table then, smiling at Anna as he leant on the back of Harriet's chair. He nodded in the direction of Dylan. 'Is he alright?'

'Fine,' Anna responded, holding him a little tighter to her. 'Think he might drift off soon.'

'So, how is tonight panning out then, Rock Star?' Phil asked his new brother in law. 'Are we going to have a show from you to rival Live Aid?'

'God no,' John replied with a chuckle, his expression causing Anna's heart to race. Her husband really was at his most endearing when he was laughing and wore a happy expression.

'You are singing though?' Jane asked, 'there would be some disappointed people here if you didn't.'

Anna felt John's gaze upon her once more before he replied with a shrug, 'you'll have to wait and see.' John rested a hand on Becky's shoulder as he continued to look at Anna. 'The first dance is why I am here actually. The DJ is almost ready for us, my love.'

'Right,' Anna made to move, Dylan protesting as she passed the little boy to her mother. Just as Anna rose to her feet, the sound of the DJ's voice could be heard in the room.

'Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am your DJ this evening, and on behalf of John and Anna, you are very welcome indeed to join them in celebrating their wedding. Now, as is customary Mr and Mrs Bates will now share their first dance to start this evening's disco.'

A chorus of wolf whistles, cheers and applause erupted as the lights died down in the room. Anna had taken John's hand as he lead her onto the centre of the dance floor. John was all she could see as he wrapped his arms around her waist, she clinging on tightly to his shoulders.

'You alright?' He whispered to her, waiting for the song to begin.

'Of course,' Anna reassured him, 'just feeling like the luckiest woman in the world right now and it's slightly overwhelming.'

The opening bars of _You Do Something To Me_ began to play. As always when she heard the gentle notes of the piano that opened the song, the only thing that filled her mind was the man in her arms. He had begun to gently sway them in time to the beat of the drums, having now rested his forehead against hers. At last, after the demanding day they had shared, this was a moment just for them. Gently lifting the edges of her lips into a smile, Anna realised John was murmuring the words as he moved them around the dance floor. It melted her heart each and every time he did this, singing so only she could hear as he held her in his arms.

She was transported to that night on the South Bank when he had encouraged her to dance with him as the guitarist played this song, John singing to her under the night stars, the London skyline the backdrop. Then the moment John had mentioned in his speech, at the concert when he had wrapped his hands around hers as what was to become their song reverberated around the concert hall. He had a way of looking at her that made everything around them fade away. She prayed those occasions would never die, that John would always make her feel this way.

The song had reached it's rockier part so to speak, and with it John's singing voice had become more abrasive, albeit no less beautiful. Anna loved the way he lost himself when he sang and it sent a flutter through her to know it just might be her who was causing him to show such emotions.

'_Dancing through the fire, yeah just to catch a flame. Just to get close to, just close enough to tell you that, you do something to me, something deep inside…'_

And with those final two lines the song reached it's end, and Anna felt the soft caress of John's lips upon hers, accepting his kiss as the DJ asked the congregation to show their appreciation.

'Lets hear it for Anna and John,' he encouraged, John brushing his lips against Anna's once more, she fearing she would float away with the happiness she was feeling. 'And they now invite you to join them on the dance floor for this next song.'

'Anna.' Turning her head away from John, Anna saw Harriet approaching with Dylan, not necessarily unhappy but restless in her arms. 'I think he wants his Mummy and Daddy.'

'Of course he does, thanks Harriet,' John replied, taking the boy from Anna's mother before kissing her on the cheek. John turned back to Anna. 'He can dance this one with us, eh Mum?'

And just when she thought she couldn't love the man anymore, John was holding her with one arm and Dylan the other, Anna moving her own to wrap around her husband's shoulders once more, her other resting on the arm John was using to hold Dylan. Their son seemed content to be with them as _Thinking Out Loud _played, various other couples joining them on the dance floor.

'This has almost come full circle,' John whispered to Anna, leaning down to speak in her ear. 'Do you remember the first time I sang this to you?'

Anna felt her cheeks redden at the memory of what John was implying. 'Of course I do.'

'And look who we're holding right now. The perfect result of that night. And now we're all finally Bateses.'

He was right. In the afterglow of their first time together, John had completely bowled Anna over by bursting out a chorus of the song they were currently dancing to. It was that night Dylan had been conceived, and it was fitting that now at their wedding, their baby boy in their arms, it was being played around them as they moved together as a family.

* * *

The disco had been on for a couple of hours when it was announced that the band would take over for an hour or so. Whilst Anna had requested a disco, John had wanted a live band so this was the happy compromise they had reached, the DJ would be back later to play music for the last hour of the reception.

The band he had chosen, The Blue Socks, played a regular gig at the Cheerful Charlie's music store and as his wedding gift Charles had paid their fee for John. However, after opening their set with the obvious choice of Marry You by Bruno Mars which the groom had danced to with Molly, and Summer of '69, their lead singer was calling John up onto the makeshift stage. Thanking the members of the band for allowing him to indulge himself for a moment, John turned to face the guests as well as Anna who was eyeing him with a sceptical gaze.

'I had wanted this to be a surprise but anyone who knows me will know I couldn't have resisted getting up here at some point and having a sing myself.'

'We're surprised it took this long,' Robert shouted from his position at the bar.

'Thanks pal,' John bellowed back, before focussing on the task at hand. 'So, I'll let the lads take over again in a while but I couldn't let my own wedding pass without performing a few songs for you all. However, this first song is dedicated to a certain someone.' Moving to the keyboard, John offered his thanks to the keyboard player who had moved aside. John played a scale on the instrument before addressing those gathered once more. 'Most of you know music is a massive part of my life. I busk, I have the job of my dreams in a music store but above all I just love to sing and play music. However when I met my beautiful wife, music took on a whole different meaning, songs I had known for years suddenly meant something. In particular, this one.'

Looking out into the crowd, John couldn't resist a smirk in Anna's direction, she having now taken a seat with her friends next to the dance floor. It had emptied, save for the younger members of today's guests who were sitting cross legged at the front. Taking a deep breath, John closed his eyes before the opening lyrics of the song he was performing left his body.

'_It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide. I don't have much money but boy, if I did. I'd buy a big house where we both could live…' _

It was a song he had always loved to sing, such was it's unique melody and beautiful structure, however it had only been since that night Anna had stumbled across him performing it that John had felt a deep connection to it. Singing every note as if his life depended on it, John lost himself in the music he was creating, his eyes closed, the only thing he was able to envisage was Anna, singing every word for her. He may as well had been at home on his own piano, such was the atmosphere he had created around himself.

Towards the end of the song, after it had reached it's crescendo, John brought himself back to the present and looked out into the crowd and sensed a perfect stillness in the room, every eye focussed on him. Searching out Anna, it felt as if time had stopped as she stared back at him, the look of love and admiration in her eye threatening to overwhelm him. He made sure their gaze was locked as he sang the remaining few words of the song, hoping he would leave her in no doubt it was only ever her he could sing a song in such a way for.

'_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words. How wonderful life is while you're in the world.' _

As his finger left the last key, there was a beat of silence throughout the room. John sucked in a breath. Had that really just happened? The vibes he sensed in the room were those of shock, wonderment. He had never been one to talk up his abilities as a musician, but John knew he had never sang that song better than he just had, or any song come to that. The applause started to his right before it flowed throughout the room and John released the breath he had been holding. He caught a flicker of white before him, Anna having walked from her position at the table to greet him at the front of the stage. John moved towards her, accepting her embrace as she met him with her arms outstretched.

'I have no words,' she whispered in his ears. 'my beautiful, wonderful, talented husband.'

'Only because you make me that way, Anna. You must know that.'

John let Anna kiss him then, the people all around them be damned. It was their wedding day and if this wasn't the day to show everyone around them how in love they were, when was that day? Once their embrace was over, Anna went and rejoined her friends as John reached for his guitar that had been strategically placed at the back of the stage.

'Come on then, Jack. Join me up here.'

The second part of his duo didn't need to be asked twice, almost skipping to the stage and retrieving his own equipment, guitar and foot drum, as if this had all been planned. Which of course, it had been.

'Now, some of you may have seen myself and Jack perform our own weekly gig at Cheerful Charlie's,' John explained as he settled his guitar over his shoulder, Jack setting up beside him as he spoke. 'So for those of you that have, you know anything goes. For those who haven't, we take requests. '

'So, what would you like to hear R and B sing?' Jack continued on, before grimacing, placing a hand over the microphone. 'We need a new name, dude. That sounded better the other night at the pub.'

'Hey, I never agreed to R and B,' John whispered, shaking his head. 'We can just be Ross and Bates for the time being.'

'It's boring though…'

'Jack, this doesn't matter right now,' John argued back, gesturing towards their audience.

'Right,' Jack cleared his throat before turning to the people who had gathered on the dance floor.

'John,' Gary tried to garner his attention, John lifting his head and nodding to acknowledge Jane's husband, their son holding his father's hand. 'Toby would like a little bit of Uptown Funk you up.'

'Nice choice little man,' Jack said enthusiastically, leaning down to offer Toby a high five.

'We have our first request, my little nephew Toby has asked for this. Please join us on the dance floor.'

Jack counted them in, tapping his foot drum before he and John began to sing the familiar opening to the song chosen by Toby. There was a chorus of cheers as people recognised the song, John stepping back and allowing Jack to take the lead for the first verse.

'_This hit, that ice cold, Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold. This one for them hood girls, them good girls, straight masterpieces.' _

The dance floor instantly filled, Jack and John feeding off the crowd as the song continued. Audience participation was a given, especially considering how much alcohol had been flowing since the bar had opened.

'_I'm too hot,' _John and Jack sang, those gathered replying with '_hot damn' _in perfect time, the groom smiling as he looked down to see Molly and Toby really getting into the performance. Looking to where his family were, John smiled to see Anna and her friends up on their feet, then further on he could make out his mother rhythmically tapping her fingers on the handle of the pushchair as she rocked Dylan. Turning back to his partner, their gaze locked as they lead the song into the chorus.

'_Saturday night and we in the spot, don't believe me, just watch…' _

He didn't know if it was because of the occasion, the ring of metal that now sat on his ring finger or because the man beside him was on point but performing had never felt this natural, this exhilarating. They shared a natural camaraderie, and although Robert would always be his best mate and nothing would change that, the musical chemistry John shared with Jack was electric. There was almost twenty years between them in age, both came from staggeringly different backgrounds but they just got each other. John had never enjoyed performing as much as he did with his American mate by his side.

After _Uptown Funk_, much like at the open mic night at the pub a couple of nights previously, Jack and John took on any song that was thrown at them. They were even forgiven a slightly off par version of _I Will Survive_, requested by Mary which apparently evoked some hen night memories for Anna and her nearest and dearest. When it came to their last song, Robert asked for something from his and John's past, which gave John an idea. Inviting his best man on to the stage, Jack happily sat at the piano and allowed Robert the use of his guitar.

Robert knew a few chords and enjoyed a little strum now and then, but he was the first to admit he had never taken to playing the instrument in the way in which John had. Although on their deployments downtime was few and far between, when they did have a moment to themselves they would often be found jamming together, Robert able to hold a tune. John had played this particular song the last time at Mary and Matthew's engagement party, it being a favourite of Robert's for sentimental reasons. When they were in Bosnia, it had reminded him of home, it being one of Mary's favourites at the time.

Jack counted them in before he began to play the melody on the keyboard, noises of appreciation erupted around those gathered, especially from those of the female persuasion. The two friends at the front of the stage accompanied him on their guitar's, Robert's playing shaky but in time all the same. John smiled as he met Robert's gaze, encouraging him to sing with a nod towards the microphone in front of him.

'_Look into my eyes, you will see, what you mean to me_,' Robert began, rather nervously before John reassured him with a subtle wink. Compared to the rocky tones of John's voice, and the silky smoothness of Jack's, Robert's was a lot softer. He seemed to be doing alright, if the sound of those on the dance floor cheering as they heard his singing was anything to go by. '_Search your heart, search your soul, and when you find me there you search no more.' _

'_You can't tell me, it's not worth trying for, you can't tell me, it's not worth dying for…' _

Robert visibly jumped when John and Jack joined in for the second part of the first verse, causing a ripple of laughter from those on the dance floor, a section of them swaying together in unison.

'_You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.' _

'Okay John, you sing now,' Robert said to his fellow guitarist, 'I don't want to deafen the poor audience.'

John smirked before launching into the second verse, although he didn't need to, given it seemed like every person in the room was singing along. '_Look into your heart, you will find, there's nothing there to hide. Take me as I am, take my life, I would give it all, I would sacrifice.' _

Picking up on the arrangement rather quickly, Robert joined in again as all three men sang the song towards the second chorus. _'Don't tell me, it's not worth fighting for. I can't help it, there's nothing I want more. You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.' _

'Come on then you lot, let's hear you,' John announced over the microphone, stepping back and allowing his and Anna's guests to sing the next part on their own.

Searching for Anna in the crowd, he felt like his heart would overflow as he found her, Gwen on one side, Jane the other as they belted out the words with all their might. Everyone in the room seemed happy, although if they felt half as joyful as John had today, that would be delirious. That beautiful, stunning blonde woman dressed in white towards the back of the dance floor was his wife. The very notion made John feel practically giddy with delight.

The two more accomplished musicians took over as the song reached it's last chorus, John allowing his emotions to come to the fore as he properly took heed of the lyrics. _'I'd fight for you, I'd lie for you, walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you…' _

They had built up a bit of drama with the sheer intensity of their singing those last few lyrics, such was that the room had fallen silent, aside from a key from Jack's keyboard. A band of soft applause broke out and a wolf whistle John was sure came from Tom.

'You finish it, best man,' John said to Robert, his face beaming. Seemingly reluctantly, although John knew Robert better than that, he obliged.

'_You know it's true, everything I do, oh, I do it for you.' _

'Beautiful,' came the word in a strong American accent from behind them, Jack seemingly impressed with Robert's modest voice. John and his best man shared an embrace on the stage before Jack moved to the microphone beside them. 'Thank you, that's all from us this evening. Now we hand back to the The Blue Socks.'

As they stepped off the stage, the band took their places once again and continued in the up tempo vibe they had started with, the dance floor staying reasonably full as John and Robert searched for their respective families. Finding Anna at the bar, John made his way towards her. As she turned, he saw she was holding a bottle of lager, not a beverage she particularly liked. Furrowing his brow, his smile was a confused one as she noticed him and held the bottle out in his direction.

'A few at your wedding reception won't hurt, surely?' Anna said as John took the bottle from her. 'Besides, you're in a different place to where you were when you had trouble with the drink, aren't you?'

John thought about her words for a moment. She was right. When he had thought the answer laid at the bottom of a whiskey tumbler, his ex wife was verbally abusing him every night, his knee was shattered, he could see no future. Now he was married to the love of his life, their son was safe and soundly asleep being cared for by his grandmother. Life was different now. Better.

'Okay,' he relented, looking at the drink Anna had purchased for him. 'But just a couple.'

'Don't worry, Mr Bates,' Anna whispered, stroking his jaw line with her index finger ensuring she had John's full attention, her tone seductive as she spoke. 'I'll keep an eye on you. I want you coherent for later on.'

With those words and a sultry expression to accompany them, Anna moved away then, John left completely breathless watching her walk with what he was certain was an extra sway in her hips. Not only had he married a stunning woman with a beautiful soul and caring nature, he had also married a temptress. He was the luckiest man alive.

The band's set was met with enthusiasm by everybody, the dance floor was never empty and to John that was the sign of a good party. He had never been one for these sort of functions in the past, he and Vera had married at a registry office with few guests, but it seemed he viewed everything with a new eye now Anna was in his life.

Although he had only had three bottles of something weaker than he used to drink at his worst, John was feeling a little looser as the night moved on. He had only danced earlier in the evening for his wife, their niece and with his mother because that was what the groom did at a wedding. But now, he was finding himself being coaxed up to dance more and more with little encouragement.

Anna had held him close to her as the band performed a rendition of _Back For Good _by Take That, they having heard James's speech earlier and adding it into their set. However, it had been Tom Branson who had been his main partner in crime on the floor. John had never attempted a moonwalk or been tempted to before Tom had shown him during _Billie Jean_. When the band had played U2, John looked on in amusement as a very merry Tom wouldn't allow anyone who wasn't Irish into his and John's space of the dance floor, even encouraging Helen to sway with him in time to _The Sweetest Thing_. John held a stirring Dylan in his arms, the infant being allowed to join them given his Irish roots.

But John was itching to sing again, the pull of live music always a temptation. The band had reached their last song, and as if the lead singer had read his mind, John was invited on stage to perform with them. John had become quite friendly with the band having been on shift when they were performing at Cheerful Charlie's, and they had known this particular composition was one of John's favourites.

'So, we are going to let the groom take lead vocal on our last song, seeing as it is one he is quite keen on,' the lead singer explained, John taking hold of a microphone, his drink still in hand. 'We'll be handing you back to the DJ in a few moments who will take the party to the end of the evening. Thank you, everyone. We have been The Blue Socks.'

The crowd on the dance floor cheered in acknowledgement of the fine job the band had done before the guitarist began to play the riff of the song they were about to perform. John searched his mind for the opening lyrics, finding them coming to him with ease.

_I'm coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine, gotta gotta be down, because I want it all. It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.'_

This was one of those songs John wished he had written and had always been one of his favourites to perform. It reminded him of a time in his life when he had managed to pull himself from the brink and he finally felt free to try and be himself again, he performing it on his occasions busking shortly after becoming a divorced man. The lyrics spoke to John and like many other songs, helped him to move on. It enabled him to become the man who Anna fell in love with, and so would always mean a lot to him for that reason alone.

People seemed to appreciate his efforts, John leading them in jumping up and down, allowing his inner rock star to come out to play. As the song continued, John noticed Tom had started some sort of conga down in front of him, arms and legs seemed to be flailing here, there and everywhere and John wondered how the young Irishman had the capacity to drink so much and still be coherent enough to do such a thing. He was inwardly relieved as the song came to an end, for people's safety more than anything.

'_But it's just the price I pay, destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes, 'cause I'm Mr Brightside.' _

'That was beautiful, just beautiful,' Tom exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around John once he had left the stage.

'Don't you think your should lay off the drink for a little while, mate?' John suggested, looking uncomfortable with a sobbing Tom his arms.

'Sorry John.' Sybil appeared then, grabbing Tom by the upper arm. 'We'll just go outside and sober up a little.'

* * *

With proceedings coming to a close, the DJ now playing some slower songs, Anna took a step back to appreciate all that had occurred today. The moment she became Mrs Bates would be very hard to beat, akin only to Dylan coming into their lives. The fact they all shared the same surname now meant more to Anna than she had been anticipating, their own little family.

His speech had been beautiful, Anna making sure she had possession of the paper it had been written on to keep with her for always. It was a wonderful feeling to be in love with the man who loved her so deeply, and to have now promised the rest of their lives to each other.

The reception had been wonderful and it really was the epitome of them, Mr and Mrs Bates. Music had been a major factor in their relationship thus far and that had shown with the songs that had been played and the songs John had performed. Watching her husband on stage with Jack, their natural talent and chemistry there for everyone to see, a small voice in the back of Anna's head told her perhaps music would be a big part of their future.

Dylan had been taken upstairs by Helen, John's mother taking on the role of looking after their son being the most recognisable person to him, other than his parents. She had babysat on a few occasions, and in unfamiliar surroundings, Anna had wanted Dylan to feel as at home as possible. They would be setting off for the honeymoon her family had arranged for them in the morning, and although today had been beyond her wildest imaginings, Anna was so lucky to have such wonderful family and friends, she had to admit she couldn't wait for it to be just the three of them.

Looking over at the dance floor filled with couples, Anna allowed herself a moment to think about each one. Molly and Toby had long since been taken upstairs by Anna's parents, meaning Jane and Gary, and Phil and Becky had had a chance to have some time with each other. Robert and Cora were very much wrapped up in one another as they swayed to the song currently being played, as were Matthew and Mary, and Tom who had calmed down after being reprimanded by his girlfriend. Ethel had shared quite a few dances with one of John's former comrades, even Daisy had found a date in William, the man Ethel had earlier claimed was perfect for her.

However, the sight of Gwen and Jack in each other's embrace warmed Anna's heart. As the evening had progressed, they had become closer and closer. Her best friend deserved some luck, having put Anna's welfare before her own after her turbulent past, often leaving men she might have made a connection with to ensure Anna was safe and happy. It thrilled Anna that Gwen might finally be finding some happiness of her own. The atmosphere was calm, serene, romantic and Anna couldn't keep the smile from her face.

'Hello.'

Anna looked up to see John standing at the top of the table. His tie had now been discarded, following the same fate as his jacket had hours before, leaving him in just his waistcoat. His top was bottom undone, his hair ruffled and Anna felt her stomach flutter. John looked gorgeous, happy and it made her heart skip a beat. Her husband.

'Hello,' she replied as he took the seat in front, turning it so he could face her.

'I took the liberty of asking the DJ to make the next one the last dance. It's nearly midnight.'

'Wonderful,' Anna leant forward, unable to resist placing a kiss on John's lips.

'I meant it earlier at the alter,' he continued, their faces still close to one another. He had taken her hand in his whilst they shared a kiss, and there it remained. 'About having waited for this day all my life. You're my best friend, and to be able to call you my wife is what I've been waiting for since the first moment I saw you, on that bridge outside Waterloo. You were wearing a grey skirt, pink blouse, a smart grey jacket and your hair was blowing lightly in the breeze.'

'You remember all that?' Anna asked, her light tone incredulous.

John nodded. 'Of course I do, don't you?'

Anna rolled her eyes. 'Well yes, but I'm a woman. You were wearing that flat cap, a brown suede jacket, black t shirt and jeans. And you were singing…'

'_A Little Respect,' _they both said in unison, before descending into laughter.

'What song are we dancing to?' Anna asked, noticing the current track was nearing its end.

'You'll like it, I hope,' John answered with a smile.

'Okay then folks, we have reached the last song of the evening. John and Anna are going to rejoin you on the floor, this song a particular favourite of the bride's.'

Clapping bumbled around the room as John rose to his feet, turning back to Anna and offering his hand. 'May I have this dance?'

Placing her hand in his, Anna stood up and allowed John to lead her to the centre of the floor, the song beginning to play as they reached their destination.

'Oh John,' Anna gasped, _Wicked Game _by Chris Isaac now reverberating around the room. Her song, a song that took her back to a place before her innocence had been grabbed away from her by a man who didn't even deserve a moment of her thoughts. It was now however, thankfully a song that reminded her of her husband, who had performed a version of it so beautifully outside Waterloo, that it had reduced Anna to tears.

She rested her head on John's shoulder as he held her tightly as he could, his arms wrapped around her waist and Anna had never felt so safe in all her life. In this man's embrace, nothing or no one could touch her and this song reminded her of that fact more than ever.

'I can't wait to be alone with you, Mrs Bates,' John had whispered in her ear so softly, she thought she was imagining it.

'Me either,' she gasped, reaching to place a gentle kiss on John's neck.

A wedding night brought with it so many expectations but Anna knew with the man she was going to be sharing it with, it could never possibly be a disappointment.

* * *

**A/N 2- The wedding night will follow in it's own chapter, given that this one is already 12,000 words long.**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N- Was going to add this on to the end of the wedding but thought it worked nicely as a stand alone chapter. Only the second (almost) M- rated chapter in this story, hope you enjoy it. **

**Thanks for everybody's reviews, in particular Isis The Dog and AwesomeGreenTie who leave their thoughts on every chapter. They are very much appreciated. **

**Disclaimer-** Downton still isn't mine but Julian Fellowes.

* * *

Anna's heart was beating in gentle anticipation as John lead her carefully by the hand. The honeymoon suite was situated on the very top floor of Downton Abbey, and it had taken them a few minutes to reach this point. She had gotten a taste of what was to come when once the lift doors had closed, John was quick to smother her lips with his own, finally being alone after a long day overwhelming for the both of them.

They were married, and every time Anna reminded herself of that fact she couldn't stop the smile that overtook her lips. It had been such a wonderful day and Anna wouldn't change any single detail about it, but the most important thing now was that John was her husband. He had promised to be by her side for the rest of their lives and that notion sent her heart soaring.

'Here we go,' John finally said as they came to a stop outside a solid oak door, he checking to make sure the number on the key corresponded with the digits on the door before him. Anna lifted her head to see the smirk on John's face and she felt her stomach tighten, her legs weaken. He really affected her in ways she would never be able to describe in words.

'Here we go,' Anna breathed in response, before he leant down to place a soft kiss upon her lips.

Releasing her hand to unlock the door, Anna stood aside as John fiddled with the lock. Once it was open, the room was bathed in soft light, obviously the staff had been in here making the room as perfect as they could for the newly weds.

'My lady,' John's tone had taken on a posh lilt, causing Anna to giggle, she joining in his playfulness by offering a small curtsy. Walking into the room, Anna inhaled a sharp breath at the grandeur of it all. The first thing she noticed was the four poster bed, which looked like it would fit about ten people, rather than just the two who would be using it tonight. There was an ice bucket containing a bottle of champagne at the foot of the bed, Anna noticed that before the two bags in the corner of the room. Their friends really had gone the extra mile to ensure this night went perfectly.

'Are you alright?' Anna felt John's presence behind her having heard the soft thump of him throwing his jacket into the armchair. Then the divine sensation of him kissing her shoulder took hold. Leaning back into his touch, she closed her eyes as John took a tighter hold of her waist, his lips leaving her shoulder to pay attention to her neck, and Anna was lost. 'I keep expecting to wake up and this, us, these past eighteen months have all been a dream.'

'It's very real,' Anna turned around in his arms then, her gaze locked on John's as he retook possession of her waist with his hands. She placed a hand on his cheek, stroking the skin there with her thumb in the way in which she knew he enjoyed. 'The first real thing in my life was the way I felt about you.'

The most beautiful smile appeared on his face before the atmosphere changed between them, being in such proximity causing both hers and John's breathing to hitch. He initiated the kiss, Anna could do nothing but succumb to his advances as he sought to deepen it, and suddenly she found herself being moved towards the bed. Before she could catch her breath, John had laid them both down, his body half covering her own, the kiss they were sharing sending jolts of pleasure flowing through her body.

'Is this okay?' John suddenly asked, lifting his head to look into her eyes, his own half lidded. Looking out for her feelings as always. Anna didn't think a more perfect man existed. However, as she looked at the position they found themselves in, she still in her wedding dress and he still wearing his very smart waist coat and trousers, perhaps it would be best if they removed such precious garments before they were creased beyond repair. Not that she was planning on ever wearing a wedding dress again.

'Maybe we should,' Anna began, tugging at John's waistcoat. 'So they don't get crumpled.'

'Yeah, sorry,' John replied rather sheepishly, Anna furrowing her brow upon hearing his tone. 'I lost myself for a moment.'

'Never apologise for that,' Anna turned his face to look at her once more. 'I just think we'd be more comfortable.' She tried to find the right words to alleviate his fears, smirking once she believed she had found them. 'Undress your wife, Mr Bates.'

His eyes went wide at her suggestion, before tracing her body with his adoring gaze. He even licked his lips which caused a familiar stirring in the pit of Anna's stomach, she couldn't help the ragged breath that left her. John stood up, offering Anna his hand to help her to her feet. He was so gentle, Anna felt like she would cry at how wonderful the man she had married was. It was obvious the two of them had suffered broken hearts in the past. It showed in the way in which they loved each other, how careful and gentle they were together. Neither wanted the other to feel that way again.

To begin, John removed the solitary hair clip that had held Anna's hair slightly back by her right temple, before placing it in his waistcoat pocket. 'We don't want to lose this. Perhaps if we are lucky enough, you could pass it on to our daughter one day.'

'Hmm,' Anna hummed her agreement to his most beautiful suggestion. 'One day.'

Before continuing his task, John placed a featherlight kiss on Anna's lips. She reciprocated with vigour then John was turning her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. She shivered as he ran a path down her arms with his hands, his lips caressing the skin between her shoulder blades. It had been cold being February, Anna having worn a bolero earlier, but she wondered to herself if perhaps John's touch would have kept her warm enough.

The faint sound of her zipper being opened grabbed Anna's attention. He was whispering in her ear again, the sensation of his breath hitting the shell of her ear causing Anna's eyes to flutter shut. 'There are no words to describe how beautiful you looked today, I have the image of you engrained in my memory where it shall remain as long as I draw breath.'

'Oh John,' was all Anna was able to formulate in response as she felt the dress become looser around her body the more John undid the fastening.

It was pooling around her waist in the next moment, Anna hearing John's breath leaving him more raggedly than before. She hoped he appreciated the white laced underwear she was wearing, her 'something new', a gift from her three best friends. Then she suddenly remembered her 'something blue' and felt a blush redden her cheeks. John hadn't found it yet, the dress still covering the majority of her legs.

Manoeuvring herself to face John, she eased the dress down to the floor before stepping out of it. His hands were back in her body almost as soon as they had left it, Anna feeling warmth pool through her veins every time she felt his touch. He was looking at every inch of her, and Anna had never felt more loved.

'I've never seen these before,' He observed, tracing his fingertips over the lacing at the side of her breasts.

Anna nodded, his touch sending her to places she never dreamed were possible until she had met him. 'My something new.'

Smiling at he registered her meaning, he was leaving her to pick up her dress. Taking it to the wardrobe, he reached inside for a coat hanger and went about securing it to hang on the wardrobe door then took off his waistcoat and did the same. It was then that he turned and his eyes were drawn to the upper thigh of Anna's right leg. She smiled as his own lips upturned into a smirk, he slowly treading the floor to be beside her once more.

'Well, well Mrs Bates. What do we have here? You're something blue perhaps?'

'Well, it is tradition,' Anna shrugged, John now in front of her and covering her lips with his own. The kiss took on a new intensity, Anna feeling far too overdressed and finding the coherence from somewhere to undo the buttons of John's dress shirt. He was shrugging it off his shoulders without their lips losing contact before Anna's fingers found the fastening on his trousers and she made quick work of that. She groaned in the back of her throat when she felt the signs of John's arousal brush against her wrist.

With both of their clothing discarded, John was encouraging Anna back to the bed again, but not before he had removed her bra. 'It's very pretty but, you know...'

'It might get in the way,' Anna giggled, causing the most beautiful chuckle to leave her husband.

Having been so lost in the kiss as they moved to the bed, Anna hadn't noticed until now John had moved between her legs, his most delicious weight resting upon her. From his position above her, he was looking down into her eyes, brushing a strand of her hair from her face. The room had taken on a dusky glow, the atmosphere was so perfect and Anna had never felt desire for the man in her arms akin to that she was feeling right now.

'My wife,' John murmured as he kissed the tip of her nose.

'My husband,' Anna replied, tangling her fingers in the hair at John's temple. He was leaning back in his haunches then, and the next thing Anna felt were his fingers in the waistband of her underwear.

'May I?'

Nodding yes, Anna lifted her hips a little from the bed to assist John in his task, the garter being removed too. Now they had reached this point, Anna really couldn't wait for them to become one as a married couple for the first time. That thought alone was enough to push her over the edge, to finally be able to make love to John as her husband. When he came back to her, Anna believed he must have read her mind as he had removed his shorts as well.

'I love you,' he breathed in her ear before lavishing kisses in her neck, following a trail down her chest to her breasts, Anna digging her fingers into his scalp to cope with the rush of desire that began to overtake her body. 'So much.'

'I love you too,' Anna replied, the words rolling off her tongue, the easiest phrase she could ever utter to this man who held her captivated, completely at his mercy. She was trying to keep up, roaming her fingers through the hair on his chest but it was just too much, his touch was everything, her lifeline.

It was soft at first, Anna didn't really believe she was hearing it until it came a little louder. In between placing soft kiss after soft kiss upon her skin, John was humming a tune she recognised, although it wasn't until he gently sang some of the lyrics that it truly registered with her what it was.

'I love the way you move tonight,' he rasped, holding himself up over her on his arms, his hands either side of her shoulders, her thighs now either side of his hips. 'Beads of sweat dripping down your skin. Me lying here, and you lying there. Our shadows on the wall...' He reached a hand down to rest below her knee, lifting her leg higher before continuing the lyric right beside her ear. 'And our hands everywhere.'

'God, John,' she gasped before he ever so slowly joined them. He had stilled his movements, Anna was glad for that. The sound of him singing at that particular moment had been enough to render herself helpless for a moment. John leant down to press his lips to hers, before she felt the unmistakable roll of his hips meeting hers. John was the only person she would share her body with in this way again, and the thought filled her heart with joy.

'Let's make out, let's do something amazing.' He was singing again, John's eyes boring straight into hers as he continued to move within her. She could do nothing but hold his gaze, knowing the memory they were creating together would never be extinguished from her mind. 'Lets do something that's all the way. Because I've never touched somebody like the way I touch your body, now I never want to let your body go...'

That seemed to ignite the fire even more between them as John increased his movements, his breath leaving him harshly and it was all Anna could do to keep up. John had completely blown her away with his manner since they had been alone, and she couldn't get enough. She felt the building of her climax slowly within her, a gentle throb beginning at her core before John lifted her leg a little higher. With the next thrust of his hips, she fell over the edge, John following straight after her as a groan left his lips.

A stillness fell over the room then, Anna could contemplate no other thought than she wished they could stay this way forever, just the two of them here together, alone in each others arms. But then she thought of Dylan and as much a nice idea staying alone together was, Anna knew she wouldn't change anything about their lives for the world.

John kissing her lightly on the cheek brought her slowly back to the present, she clutching on tightly to his shoulders in response.

'I promise next time I'll take my time, but just then, the garter...' John began before his words trailed off. 'Wow.'

'Wow indeed,' Anna agreed with a smile. 'You started singing and that was it.'

'Sorry, it just crept into my mind and once the idea took hold I couldn't help myself. Seems you make me want to sing, Mrs Bates.'

'It was wonderful,' Anna whispered, John still holding himself above her. 'Beautiful. A perfect ending to a perfect day.'

John nodded, letting Anna know he agreed with her remark before he was moving away from her, ending their connection. They got under the covers then, John quick to pull Anna into his embrace. She was tired now, the sensation of weariness coming over her suddenly now she was settled and comfortable in her husband's arms.

'You know what happened the last time I sang to you in bed, my love.'

Creasing her forehead as she tried to ascertain his meaning, Anna began to smile once more with her eyes now closed, sleep not far away. 'Two children under two years of age is not how I envisaged my life panning out, Mr Bates.'

'Not a lot you can do about it now, though,' John was quick to reply, a jovial lilt to his tone. 'And I've just realised we forgot about protection.'

He was right. It had completely slipped Anna's mind, even though it didn't really matter now they were married but she didn't want them to run before they could walk.

'Well then, we'll have to cross that bridge when and if we come to it. We are lucky enough to have one child, given what's happened in the past. Let's just count our blessings and be grateful for what we have. It's taken me this long to find my little piece of happiness, I don't want to tempt fate by hoping for more.'

'Couldn't have put it better myself.'

In the next moment darkness filled the room, John having turned over to switch out the bedside lamp that had been illuminating the room. He hugged her tighter to him, the coarse hair of his chest tickling between her shoulder blades, causing Anna to release a contented sigh.

'Goodnight, my darling wife.'

'Goodnight, my perfect husband.'

* * *

**A/N 2- The song John sings at a most convenient moment *ahem* is Let's Make A Night To Remember by Bryan Adams, if you didn't know.**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N- Finally, an update. The foundations for the next turn in this story are laid here. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for your kind words about this story. And Brendan's new Twitter profile picture- wow.  
**

**Disclaimer-** Downton belongs to Julian Fellowes/ ITV/ Carnival.

* * *

John screwed his nose up at the sign that read only twenty miles until the M25. It was late in the evening and they had taken their time travelling back from their honeymoon, staying over with Anna's parents on the way back from Loch Lomond. It had been a wonderful couple of weeks, just him, his new wife and their baby boy. Anna was Mrs Bates, his wife and she now shared the same surname as him and Dylan. It felt amazing, to know now they were a proper family, bound together in a marriage.

His wife and son were fast asleep, six month old Dylan beside his father in the front seat, Anna in the back. John had never felt more at peace in his life, to know these two perfect beings were his family meant more to him than anything. This was what was important, to protect them and ensure their happiness.

The day after the wedding, Anna's mother had presented John with a business card from a man who had attended the wedding, Evelyn Napier. He was the new husband of a cousin and had been very impressed with Jack and John when they had performed. It was then that Harriet revealed Evelyn worked for a record company in London, and would be interested in meeting up with Jack and John when the honeymoon was over. Jack had been very excited when John had told him about it, although John had said he would think about it whilst he and Anna were away.

It had only been the past few weeks John had begun to appreciate music as more than an escape from the toils in his life. To do it for a living, because that was what he assumed Evelyn would be offering, was a whole different concept. John envied some aspects of a professional musician's life, but not the side of being away from home, especially now he was a married father.

Whilst sitting on the balcony of their cottage, overlooking the loch, it had been Anna who had made John see what a wonderful opportunity it would be. Working with songwriters, making his own music. John had sketchy ideas for his own compositions, but if he was honest the opportunity to work with professional songwriters was a chance he had always coveted.

So a quick call was made to Jack to arrange to meet up with Evelyn to see what the situation was. Soon after, his musical partner had texted back with the news they had a meeting scheduled for the Tuesday after John and his family arrived home. If he was honest, John wasn't expecting much, perhaps a couple of positions as session musicians had become available. He knew he personally wouldn't accept anything like that, he was quite happy working at Cheerful Charlie's for the time being. Jack was convinced a record contract was in the offing. That seemed a little far-fetched to John.

'What are you brooding about?'

Despite her hushed tones, Anna's whisper made John jump. She ran her hands over his shoulders from behind him, John meeting her gaze in the rear view mirror and smiling.

'Just thinking about the perfect two weeks we've just shared,' John replied, a quick glance to his son to ensure their voices hadn't woken him. 'Nice sleep?'

'Yeah, where are we?'

'Nearly on the M25.'

'Ugh,' Anna groaned, sitting back in her seat.

John released a chuckle. 'Yeah, that was my reaction too.'

'It would be nice to leave London one day.'

Searching for her gaze in the mirror once more, John smiled. 'One day. Where would you like to live?'

'Well, once you've earned me millions being a famous rock star, a pad in Malibu sounds quite nice.'

'Yeah right, you'd miss your home comforts too much. And besides, I'm not going to be a famous rock star.'

He could almost hear Anna roll her eyes behind him. 'You don't know that. You could walk into his office and that Evelyn will have two freshly written contracts waiting for you to sign.'

'Unlikely.'

'I wouldn't be too sure, John Bates,' Anna replied through a yawn. And then she fell silent, John eyeing her to see she had her eyes closed again. He smirked slightly before she began to speak again. 'And keep the beard. I like it.'

John had realised he had forgotten his razor on the first day of the honeymoon and quickly decided he wouldn't bother with shaving until they got home. It had grown in quickly, but John hadn't been expecting Anna to take to his facial hair as much as she had.

'If you insist, my love.'

* * *

Anna shook her head as she stood in the kitchen, Jack and John discussing their meeting in great detail behind her in the living room. She heard the intermittent happy burbling coming from Dylan as his father bounced him on his knee, a sound which was still music to her ears. Anna never forgot how close they came to losing him and had kept to her promise of not taking a single moment with her son for granted.

The honeymoon had been perfect, everything she had ever dreamt of but that didn't mean she wasn't happy to get back to some sense of normality, to begin her marriage with her husband properly. The wedding had been well and good, but it had been actually being John's wife she had been craving. To know he was hers and hers alone, she wasn't sure there were many other better feelings in the world.

The news from her cousin's husband had come like a bolt from the blue. She had met Evelyn on a couple of occasions, her cousin Georgia's boyfriend, but she and John hadn't been able to attend the wedding because Dylan was still in hospital. When John had questioned her about it, Anna had admitted truthfully she had no idea what line of work Evelyn was in. Anna believed it was a wonderful opportunity for John. She knew her husband, knew the joy performing music brought him but it had taken him some convincing to even meet up with her new family member, let alone accept what he had to offer. Anna was prepared to have some more motivational speaking ready for him in the coming weeks. She just had a feeling this was his and Jack's big chance.

'We need to be back by five anyway,' Jack said as Anna approached the two men with a cup of coffee in each hand. 'I have a date with Gwen.'

'Ahh yes,' Anna looked at Jack, her tone ominous. 'She's told me all about you, you know.'

'Really.' Jack didn't seem too confident as he accepted the cup Anna was offering him. 'What has she said? She thinks I'm too over the top doesn't she? I'm too loud. My clothes are awful.'

Anna winked at John in response to his meeting her gaze before replying. 'Are you too loud then?'

'No, well I don't think so,' Jack remarked, taking a sip of his coffee as he looked at John who was staring back, both eyebrows raised. 'Well, maybe a little.'

Anna handed John the remaining cup of coffee then took Dylan from him. 'I'm not going to tell you what she's said, it's up to her to do that.'

'Not even a little bit?'

'Nope,' Anna was resolute as she placed Dylan in his bouncy chair ready to feed him. 'But wear that black shirt you have, the one with white cuffs and collar. She liked that shirt.'

'Right.'

'Are you boys ready for this meeting then?'

'As ready as we'll ever be,' John said in answer, sitting back on the sofa. 'It will probably be for a couple of session musicians, or recording demo discs for the bigger artists.'

'Nah, we're about to sign a record contract,' Jack stared straight ahead as he spoke, 'I know it.'

'Don't get your hopes up,' John warned his friend, watching as Anna returned from the kitchen with a bottle and bowl of food for Dylan.. 'How big can this record company be, anyway? I've never heard of Highclere Records.'

'They are new, but they've had some success,' Anna replied, sitting down and stirring the contents in the bowl she was holding, blowing in an attempt to cool it. 'You know that young lad, plays the piano. What's his name?'

'Elton John?' John answered mockingly before Jack joined in.

'Billy Joel?'

'No,' Anna sighed before the answer came to her, 'Harry Thompson. Had a number one recently. He's signed to them. I've been doing some research.'

'See,' Jack bashed John on the arm, almost causing him to spill his coffee. 'They are a new company just starting out.'

'So start thinking positively,' Anna advised her husband. 'Have you got something prepared in case they need you to sing?'

'Charles recorded one of the gigs a few weeks ago, we're giving them that but we'll take the instruments just in case.'

The next few minutes passed in chatter between Anna and Jack about what their lives could become, Anna noting her husband seeming somewhat reserved as she and his friend conversed. She just wished he would believe in himself the way that she did. This could be something really great if he'd only embrace the situation for what it was. Sure, things might not turn out as well as she envisaged, and they certainly wouldn't if he went into it with a negative attitude, but she didn't want him to have any regrets.

'We best get moving, big man,' Jack announced, rising to his feet. He took the mug from John and walked to the kitchen. 'I just need to freshen up before we go.'

Great, a chance for a word alone, Anna thought to herself as she watched Jack disappear into the bathroom. 'John Bates, where is your positive attitude?'

'I don't have a negative attitude, I have a realistic one.'

'For God's sake man, this day could change your life.'

'No,' John shook his head. 'My life changed the day you walked in my life. I've had all the good luck I am going to be afforded. You love me, you are my wife, our son is perfect. That is all the good luck I need.'

Despite smiling at his words, they touching her heart in a way only the things that John said could, Anna knew she had to convince him this was a chance he shouldn't be letting slip through his fingers. She placed a hand on his rather fuzzier than normal cheek, she softly squeezing there causing John to close his eyes and release a small breath.

'I love you, and I know you John Bates. You love me and you love Dylan and we are both so lucky to have you. But you also love music, you love playing music. If you go in there with this attitude and it does turn out to be something special they are offering, like a record contract, they will take it away because it will look like you don't want it enough. And I think if you search deep enough, you do want it.'

'Ready then boss?'

John turned to see Jack regarding him from the door, he picking up his guitar case and keyboard. 'Yep.' He looked back at Anna, she feeling her stomach flutter at the smile he was offering her. 'I am now. I love you.'

Anna closed her eyes as John pressed his lips ever so gently to hers. 'I love you too. Now go.'

* * *

The record company was on the eighth floor of an office block not far from Tower Bridge. It seemed legitimate, John supposed as he saw pictures on the wall of new artists he vaguely recognised. He and Jack were sitting in a corridor, the rhythmic tapping of Jack's fingers on his guitar case was slowly becoming more irritating.

'Stop, please,' John whispered harshly, placing a hand over Jack's.

'Sorry, I'm nervous,' Jack replied.

'Well pace or something, that tapping is annoying.' Jack stood up and began to walk backwards and forwards, stopping occasionally to look at the pictures on the wall. John was wrong, the pacing was more annoying. 'Sit back down, I preferred the tapping.'

'John, Jack. It's so nice to see you again.' Both men turned to see Evelyn approaching them, his arm outstretched. Jack accepted his hand first, then John followed suit. 'If you'd like to come this way, my partner Anthony Strallan is waiting for us.'

'Your partner?' John asked, lightly touching Evelyn's arm to still his movements. 'I thought this was your company.'

'It is, mine and Anthony's. But don't worry, he's heard the recording I made of you and is very impressed.'

Evelyn continued back towards the office then, John turning to see Jack looking up at him smiling. 'Did you hear that? His partner is very impressed.'

Suddenly now they were here and this was it, John wasn't feeling the confidence Anna had installed in him earlier. It was one thing to deal with one record company boss, but two? He followed somewhat gravely, Jack skipping on ahead. Upon seeing the room through the glass panelled wall, it was everything John had expected a record company office to be like. A large solid oak table sat at the top of it and a man John supposed to be this Anthony Strallan was sat behind it.

'Tony, this is John Bates and Jack Ross.'

'Ahh, hello chaps,' he said, rising to his feet. 'Evelyn tells me you are both very talented.'

'Thank you,' Jack said with a smile.

'I watched the video he took of you at,' Anthony pointed at John, 'your wedding, was it John?'

'Yes, I was married just shy of three weeks ago now,' he replied, trying not to give too much way about how he felt about all of this.

'Well, congratulations. Please, take a seat.' Both men did as they were instructed, Evelyn and Anthony taking their place opposite them. 'So, tell me a bit about yourselves. If you don't mind me saying so, you don't look like the most conventional duo.'

'We work in a music shop in Carnaby Street, Cheerful Charlie's. That's how we met,' Jack began to explain before Anthony interrupted him.

'Cheerful Charlie's, I used to know Charles Grigg who used to own it. Lovely chap.'

'Right,' Jack nodded, slightly annoyed to be put off his stride before continuing to tell his story. 'Well, we used to jam together in quieter moments in the shop and soon realised we just clicked.'

'You're not English,' Anthony pointed out to Jack as if he wasn't aware of that fact.

'No sir, I am from Chicago but came over here to study the piano at the London College of Music and never went back. I can play the guitar as well.'

'Impressive. And what about you,' Anthony was now looking at John. 'What's your background?'

John wasn't musically trained at all and suddenly he felt this might go against them somewhat. He had to be honest. 'I was in the army, worked my up to Colonel and toured Iraq, Northern Ireland and Bosnia.'

'My father was in the army,' Anthony remarked, John wondering to himself if this man always had to get his two pennies worth into any conversation.

'Really? Many men have been.' That didn't sound as sassy in his head. 'Anyway, I used to play guitar to rouse the troops so to speak, and it just happened that my singing voice wasn't too shabby either. When I left the army, my marriage fell apart and I used music as an escape. I busked on Waterloo Bridge most mornings for a few years, until I met my now wife.'

'This is a romantic story,' Jack interrupted, nudging John with an elbow. 'Tell it John.'

John shook his head in the direction of Jack. He wasn't going to tell a complete stranger how he met his wife. 'People seemed to like what I was doing, and friends told me I was quite good.'

'Well, I think you are more than quite good,' Evelyn informed John. 'You both share a natural energy on stage that was clear for all of us watching at the reception to see.'

'It's more than the instruments, your voices mesh together so well,' Anthony enthused, leaning forward. 'It's just the two of you?'

'Yep,' Jack agreed with a nod of the head. 'Ross and Bates.'

In the next moment, Anthony was putting a music dock on the table. 'Have you heard of a song called _Lovely Day _by Bill Withers?'

'Of course, I love Withers.' John eyed the man before him with a sceptical gaze, a look to Evelyn and his slightly reddening cheeks made John question exactly what was going on here.

'It's a great song,' Jack remarked, for the first time his voice holding a hint of reservation.

'You see, I'm a great believer that if you are to play instruments there needs to be a drummer and a bassist,' Anthony explained as he scrolled through an iPod. 'Two people can't be in a band by themselves.'

'Right,' John's voice was sceptical. He kept his gaze on Evelyn whose mouthing of the words _I'm sorry _didn't fill John with hope.

'Ahh, here we go,' Anthony said as he found what he was looking for, placing the device into the dock. 'Now, I think as a vocal duo you too could be massive. You're something different, you'd appeal to everyone with the younger ladies screaming over Jack, and the older ones swooning over you, John.'

'Thank you,' John replied sardonically. 'Where are you going with this?'

'We've got permission for this to be your first single if the time arrives.'

'Bill Withers? Our first single?' Jack repeated the man's words in disbelief. 'A cover? We thought we'd be an original artist, to create our own music?'

The opening bars of the song began to fill the room, John rolling his eyes upon hearing it.

'Okay lads, I'm seeing John singing the first verse and Jack providing the harmony for the chorus. Give it a bash.'

They would have no choice but to sing, John was realising at the music reached the point where he would need to come in. Looking to Jack, he nodded and searched for the lyrics to the song they were about to perform.

'_When I wake up in the morning love, and the sunlight hurts my eyes. And something without warning love, weighs heavy on my mind.' _

'Beautiful,' John heard Anthony whisper, looking to him to find his eyes closed, his fists clenched. John furrowed his brow before continuing. This man was from another planet, but he was a music label boss he supposed.

'_Then I look at you, and the world's alright with me. Just one look at you and I know it's gonna be… a lovely day.'_

'_Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day,' _Jack sang as John held his final note into the chorus.

This felt ridiculous. John loved the song but it wasn't his song. It belonged to Bill Withers. He loved singing the classics, but he couldn't bear the thought of not being thought of credibly in the music industry. If they were going to do this, they were going to do it properly.

'Evelyn, can I speak to you outside for a moment? Jack, you come too,' Jack stopped singing immediately as John walked out of the room. Evelyn followed as did Jack. As soon as Jack had shut the door John launched into his tirade at Evelyn. 'He wants to turn us into fucking Robson and Jerome!'

'Wait a minute, who are Robson and Jerome?' Jack asked.

'Exactly,' John replied without missing a beat. 'Being offered a contract as a session musician would be preferable. Don't you have a say in this, Evelyn? This can't be what you envisaged for us?'

'No, but I only own a twenty per cent stake in this venture, it's all Anthony's money and this is what he feels is the right path for you.'

'I don't want to sing covers,' Jack argued, 'I would stay doing what I'm doing now if that's what I wanted.'

Evelyn sighed. 'There is one way out, but I'm not sure if it's what you want. You two are so tight, and I understand it can be difficult to mesh with other musicians.'

'What is it?' John asked, already knowing what was coming.

'Let's go and talk to Anthony about how you feel and he'll tell you what he wants.' John and Jack exchanged a look as they walked behind Evelyn back into the room.

'Everything alright, lads? That was brilliant.'

'We don't want to be cover artists,' Jack stated matter-of-factly, sitting back down as did John. 'We want to work on our own material.'

'And play the instruments,' John added.

'And you know how I feel about that,' Anthony pressed his hands together. 'Two can't be in a band.' He looked down to his desk, opening it before pulling out two pieces of crisp, white paper and placing them in front of John and Jack. 'I have two contracts here, offering you two albums. I really think people will love the two of you, putting a fresh spin on the songs they love, songs they grew up with.'

'Thank you, but we don't want that,' Jack replied, John feeling a sense of pride at how his partner was dealing with this. 'It's us making our own music, or nothing.'

'And do you have your own music?'

'We have some bits here and there,' Jack lied slightly, 'but I read an article the other day saying Harry Thompson works with songwriters. We can do that.'

Anthony exhaled a heavy breath, leaning back in his chair and regarding John and Jack with a heavy gaze. 'Evelyn came in here waxing lyrical about you, and I trust his judgement. But I won't sign a band with two members. It's something I strongly believe in. You need at least four.'

Evelyn made a suggestion. 'We can compromise, can't we though Tony?'

_He were go, _John thought before shrugging. 'What compromise?'

'I thought you might not go for this, so Tony agreed if you didn't we would give you four weeks to find a drummer and a bassist.'

Jack laughed out loud. 'Four weeks?'

'That's the deal,' Anthony replied, taking the contracts away and putting them back in his drawer.

'And if we don't?' Jack pressed.

'Then you sign the original contracts or nothing.'

John knew the music business was cutthroat, but he wasn't expecting to experience that so early on. He looked to Evelyn who in his defence, did look apologetic. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going to be one half of a duo who would be considered a novelty act.

'Do you mind if we go away and think about this?' John asked, looking at Jack who seemed genuinely disappointed.

'Sure, you have four weeks,' Anthony pointed out, standing up. 'We'll see you same time, same day, this time in a month. Either to sign those contracts or to audition with two new members. Ciao.'

And with those words, he was gone leaving John and Jack rather dumbfounded at their first encounter with the music industry.

'Sorry lads, but he has all these plans for appearances on tea time chat shows and cookery programmes. I tried to make him see that you are more than a cover artist but he wasn't having it, unless you found a bassist and a drummer.'

'Well that's it then,' Jack brought his hands down to his lap with a thump. 'Back to Cheerful Charlie's then.'

'Please do give some thought to finding someone,' Evelyn pleaded as he walked John and Jack to the door. 'Yours is a talent that would be a shame to waste.'

'Thank you, Evelyn,' John smiled. He liked the man, he couldn't deny. It's just a shame he was being held down by someone who didn't possess his same views on what passed for musical taste.

'And pass on my best wishes to Anna.'

'I will.'

Once they were outside, John and Jack went their separate ways, the latter to get ready for his date. John didn't know what to do. He had effectively just turned down a record contract. The notion he had even been offered one seemed absurd, he just couldn't get his head around it. John needed to talk to someone who never sugar coated anything, who was the straightest talker he knew. In the next moment he found himself calling his best friend.

'Hello John.'

'Hi Rob. I need to talk.'

* * *

John smiled as he saw the message Anna had sent, a picture of her and Dylan at home. These pictures were a daily occurrence but John treasured each one. She was responding to his text about going to visit his friend, telling him to do what he needed to do and that she would be waiting for him. He wondered if a more wonderful woman existed, Vera would never have been so understanding.

And now he stood on Robert's driveway, composing a message in reply before the door burst open. John looked up to see Robert standing on the doorstep, this being the first time they had seen each other since the wedding.

'Blimey, look who thinks they are Bear Grylls.'

'What?'

'What happened to the face?' Robert asked as John began to tread the drive way towards him. John touched a hand to his beard, soon realising as to what his friend was insinuating.

'Oh, the beard. I forgot a razor when we went to Scotland and Anna asked me to keep it.'

'Right, she's got you so under the thumb.'

Suddenly, Cora's voice was shouting from the living room. 'Robert, shut that door. It's freezing.'

'Yes dear.'

John stepped over the threshold with a smirk. 'You're under the thumb as much as I am.'

'How did the audition go?' Robert asked before he put his head around the doorframe of the living room. 'We'll be in the kitchen, dear.'

'Alright,' Cora replied, looking over her shoulder. 'How was the honeymoon, John?'

'Lovely thanks, Cora,' John replied from his position in the hallway behind Robert. 'How are you?'

'Fine thanks,' she called back.

'Right, we can continue the catch up later,' Robert said as he pushed his friend towards the kitchen. 'I asked you a question.'

'I need some advice,' John admitted, sitting at the table whilst Robert put the kettle on. 'We were offered a contract.'

Robert dropped the mug he was holding. 'Bloody hell, that's fantastic.'

'Hold your horses there, mate,' John interrupted, 'we were basically offered the chance to become the next Robson and Jerome.'

'Eww,' Robert winced, 'no one wants that.'

'Precisely, but we have a lifeline.'

'Which is?'

'We need to find a bassist and a drummer and we have four weeks to do so,' John revealed, 'or we sign the contracts to record other people's songs and become a laughing stock to anyone worth knowing in the music business.'

'Is that so bad?' Robert wondered aloud. 'Think of the money if you go stratospheric. You are both so good together you probably will.'

'I'd rather keep my credibility than earn money going through the motions. I'm reluctant to sign a record contract as it is, I certainly won't do so in these circumstances. Writing our own music with professionals, playing our own instruments, that's what we want.'

'You've been singing other people's songs for years. Why not earn a buck or two out of it?'

'It's not what I want to do and it's certainly not what Jack wants,' John argued, watching as Robert joined him at the table. 'So it's back to Cheerful Charlie's we go.'

'Can you not find somebody else?'

'Who?' John asked. 'It took a lot of convincing on his part for me to sing with Jack. It needs to feel right.'

'Audition for people.'

'I couldn't just play with complete strangers.'

Robert walked back to the kitchen counter, John recognising he was deep in thought. This was why he had come to his friend, he knew he would recognise his predicament and try to find a way around it.

'Michael Gregson,' Robert said suddenly. 'Served with us in Bosnia. Blonde hair. His wife wasn't well and he rang her sister for reports on her almost daily.'

Memories of the man began to come back to John. He was a quiet man, but also had a love for music, he and John often chatting about their favourite bands. John also remembered he played the drums in a band back home.

'The drummer.'

'Yeah, he lives in Sheffield if memory serves from the last battalion reunion. I have his number somewhere.' Robert stopped talking to shout down the hall. 'Cora, have you seen my address book?'

'Robert, don't be ridiculous. We are not going to form a band and be good enough to earn a record contract in four weeks.'

'Why don't you get off your ass and look for yourself,' Cora was then heard shouting back down the hall way.

'I am off my _arse_, darling. I am making myself and John some tea.'

'Oh, two sugars for me,' Cora said as she appeared at the door with Robert's address book in his hand. 'I'll wait for you to deliver it to the living room.'

'Yes, because I am a waiter,' Robert called after her as he looked through the book she had given him. 'Ahh, here we go. Michael Gregson.'

John took the book from Robert. 'He won't remember me.'

'He asked after you at the last reunion which you didn't come to because you were working.' Robert continued to prepare the tea. 'He asked if you were still into playing the guitar as it happens.'

John read the entry in the book, his name and number there before his eyes. He had liked Michael. Looking up, John watched as Robert put his tea in front of him. This was feasible and even if nothing came of it, it would be nice to meet up with an old comrade again.

'Can I take this number?' John asked as Robert sat beside him.

'That's my boy,' Robert ruffled John's hair. 'Of course you can.'

'Don't ever touch my hair again,' John brushed it back into place before tearing the page out of the book.

'So, how is married life?'

'Perfect, thank you.' John folded the piece of paper and placed it in his shirt pocket, beaming like a Cheshire cat. 'I am a very lucky man.'

'But you missed me, right?' John looked at Robert, who was staring back at him over the mug he held to his lips.

'Desperately.'

* * *

Anna lifted her head to see John come in, he chatting on the phone as he shut the door behind him. Dylan was in her arms, slowly drifting into slumber. She smiled as her husband met her eyes with his, he reciprocating and waving at her as he continued to listen to whoever was on the end of the line. She soon realised it was Jack.

'How old is he? Forty? Hmm, and he's good on the bass?'

Anna watched as John continued to regard what Jack was saying with a sceptical eyebrow. Why would they need a bassist?

'Michael said he would come over at the weekend. Can this Charles Blake be there too? It needs to be that soon, it's going to be difficult enough pulling this off in four weeks, let alone wasting more time.'

Now Anna was confused. What did they have to pull off? She was kept in suspense for a few seconds longer as John bid Jack farewell before he was hanging up the phone and walking towards her, sitting down on the sofa.

'Hello,' he said, resting his head against hers and placing a hand on Dylan. 'Sorry I took so long.'

'That's alright,' Anna replied, turning her head and kissing his temple. 'How did it go then?'

'Evelyn's not in charge, a bloke called Anthony Strallan is.'

'Right.'

'And this Strallan wanted to turn me and Jack into the next Robson and Jerome.'

'Oh,' Anna suddenly understood why John seemed a little dejected. 'Well, my mum loved them.'

John met her gaze and began to laugh. 'Exactly.'

'Well, is that such a bad thing?'

'That's what Robert said,' John sat up beside her. 'I was reluctant to sign a contract as it was, I certainly won't do so to become a novelty artist. Myself and Jack both decided we didn't want that, so we've been given an ultimatum.'

'Sounds ominous.'

'Hmm,' John cocked his head. 'We need to find a bassist and a drummer. This Strallan doesn't think two is right for a band. And we've been given four weeks.'

'And that is what you were talking to Jack about.'

'The search is going well, we've already found two people. The fact is, I'm not sure it can work. It took months for me and Jack to sound like we do together, we have four weeks with two people we don't know very well.' John looked down at Dylan. 'And I'm still not certain it's what I want.'

Ah. The truth finally. Anna knew as he looked at their son and had known for some time the deepest reservations her husband held were those that he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her and Dylan behind, which is what would happen if he became successful. One thing was for sure, she didn't believe he didn't want this anymore.

'You went out and found someone the same day you were given this option, and you're telling me you don't want a record contract?' His silence spoke volumes. 'Please, don't put the brakes on this because of me and Dylan.'

'Of course I am going to do that,' John argued back, his voice slightly raised. 'You are my family. I won't go off gallivanting and putting music first when you are at home on your own looking after our son.'

A thought then occurred to Anna. Could John be holding onto some long forgotten doubts that Vera had instilled in him? She knew that his ex wife had never been too supportive of his interest in music. Didn't he realise that Anna wanted him to not only realise his dreams, but that she supported him whole heartedly in his quest to make them come true?

'You are not going off gallivanting, you are going to be doing something you love. I think I know where these doubts stem from and I am sorry you feel like this. But don't you realise the thought of you doing what you love every day makes me so happy? The man I love fulfilling his ambitions, I can think of nothing better.'

Silence fell then as John looked at her, looking at her in a way only he could. In the next moment, his lips were upon hers, completely taking her by surprise as she succumbed to his advances, despite feeling wary of the now sleeping baby in her arms. Anna could feel his lips upturning into a smile against hers, and it was one of the sweetest sensations she had ever felt in her life.

'You're amazing,' he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. 'Everything about you is so amazing.'

'Only because you make me so,' she replied weakly, brushing her lips against his once more. 'Now stop holding back and give this everything you've got. You've got four weeks.'


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N- Finally found the motivation to update this story, sorry to those who may have been waiting. Thanks for all your interest in the story so far. **

**The song John 'writes' is in fact a song I have had in mind the whole way through writing. It's by a little known artist (although he should be a superstar in my eyes). Not sure how comfortable I am with the whole 'borrowing' songs thing, someone alluded to it in a review, and I know it's wrong but I'm barely an author, let alone a songwriter. I'll see how much I refer to the song writing process in the future. It's not like I'm going to claim John wrote 'Bohemian Rhapsody' or anything. **

**Disclaimer-** John and Anna belong to Julian Fellowes, the song definitely doesn't belong to me.

* * *

John sat back on the sofa in the living room, guitar in hand. He ran a hand through his hair, closed his eyes finally relieved to be sitting down after a hectic day. Following his shift at Cheerful Charlie's, he had headed for a rehearsal with his newly formed band. They were still nameless, but had been rehearsing every minute they had been able to spare.

Charles Blake and Michael Gregson on the face of it were nice guys. Charles had studied with Jack at their college of music. He could play all forms of guitar, but for the purposes of the band he had accepted the role of bassist. He lived across town with his girlfriend and seemed a down to earth, normal guy. Struggling with paying the rent as a gigging guitarist, he saw the band as his last shot of making something of himself before having to find a 'proper' job. Seemingly a deep thinker, when they were not practicing, Charles was always writing in a notebook. John was intrigued to discover he was writing down ideas for songs. John found Charles incredibly interesting to work with, finding a desire within himself to collaborate with him on some of his own ideas for compositions.

With Charles being closer in age to Jack being in his early thirties, John was relieved Michael had accepted his offer of joining their band. Former comrades and veterans of the Gulf and Bosnian wars, they had seen a lot together. They had lost contact, especially with John finding it hard to revisit that time in his life. It had surprised John however when on seeing each other again for the first time Michael pulled him into an embrace. The bond formed between soldiers was unique and it was clear this one had never faded. Michael was a skilled drummer, more than good enough to set the tempo on their quest for a recording contract.

All four appeared to be getting along swimmingly. The two new members fitted in with himself and Jack with ease all things told, and it only took a couple of weeks for the band to get into their rhythm. Michael was able to drum with confidence, Charles could not only play bass masterfully but was also the owner of a brilliant singing voice. With three lead singers, Jack had waxed lyrical that the band boasted more than most bands around at the moment.

But of course with four different personalities coming together, it had been difficult nailing down which songs to actually perform when the next audition came around. Jack had been insistent they play something contemporary, whilst John wasn't sure if Charles's obsession with Oasis was at all healthy. With the disagreements over the final list, it had been John who had happened upon the idea of inviting Evelyn and Anthony Strallan to Cheerful Charlie's to watch the band play a gig in his and Jack's usual slot. They had gratefully accepted, and the date had been set for when the band were due to return to the record company for their audition.

He had been so busy with the band and work, John had barely seen his wife or their son over the past few weeks. Anna had insisted it was okay, John was following his dream and that was all that mattered to her. They had been restricted to late night pillow talk and John doing the early mornings to spend some time with Dylan. It would be worse than this if the band took off, John knew that but it was a big if. Getting a record deal was the first step, it was a much bigger proposition to then be successful.

Gently strumming the strings of his guitar, John suddenly thought of the lyrics that had occurred to him in quieter times during his shift at work today. He had found that being away from his family was the perfect muse to awaken the lyricist inside him. Charles was very much a songwriter, and John had enjoyed their quieter moments together, talking about writing songs and creating music. It was the first time it had piqued John's interest, and they had a few ideas flying around.

'_Spinning out, spinning out, gravity can't hold me down now,' _John sang softly, accompanying his voice by experimenting with some chords on his guitar, wary of Anna putting Dylan to bed in his room. _'See the future written in the sky.' _

He had been working on these particular lyrics for a few days, wanting to talk about meeting the love of his life. After getting to know each other a little better after one rehearsal, it had been Charles who had given him the idea of associating it with being written in the stars, he explaining how he had felt when he had met his own girlfriend.

'_The time has stopped, the world is still, I feel my heartbeat ticking slowly. I catch my breath, and hold on to tonight…' _

That last lyric had come to John on the walk home from work, moving past the spot where he and Anna had danced on the South Bank. It had felt like the world had stopped, it was only the two of them in existence. Perhaps he had a knack for this song writing lark, he thought to himself as he leant forward to note down what he had just created on a notepad on the coffee table, advised by Charles to keep one nearby at all times. He sat forward and sang it again to himself, trying to nail down the melody and chords that felt right.

'_Spinning out, spinning out, gravity can't hold me down now. See the future written in the sky. The time has stopped, the world is still. I feel my heartbeat ticking slowly, I catch my breath and hold on to tonight…' _He stopped for a moment, looking ahead as the next lyric seemed to flow from his mind to his lips_. 'This is us, I don't ever want the day to break. This is us, we are never gonna fade away…' _

'That was beautiful.' Looking over his shoulder, John's lips quirked into a smile noticing Anna make an appearance. He put his guitar down and quickly wrote down those last lyrics as she made her way to join him on the sofa. 'Did you make that up?'

'Yeah,' John shrugged, dropping the pencil on the notepad and sitting back against the sofa next to his wife. 'Well, it's only a few lines but it's been in my head for a little while.'

'See,' she said, softly nudging him. 'I told you there was a poet inside you if you searched deep enough.'

He rested his temple against hers. 'It's not so difficult when you have the right muse.'

'Charmer.'

'I've missed you,' John breathed, leaning closer to her. 'And the boy.'

'We've missed you too. But I'm glad the band is going well.'

'I never expected to be enjoying it as much as I am,' John admitted, Anna allowing a small smirk to play upon her lips as she listened to her husband speak. 'It's been great becoming reacquainted with Michael, and Charles is a great lad. The set list is proving to be a bit of a trial. Somehow Jack has managed to work _Drag Me Down _by One Direction into it.'

'Well, that will please Molly.' Anna remarked, grinning as memories of her niece's and husband's duets came to the forefront of her mind. 'And how is Jack taking to it all?'

'He loves it,' John chuckled, 'he'll be the engine of the band if everything gets off the ground. Keeps us all going.'

'Well you need that.'

'Yeah, you do.' John met Anna's gaze then, taking her hand in his, their heads still touching. 'How are you?'

She chuckled softly. 'Why are you asking me that? You know I'm alright.'

'No, I mean how are you really. I feel like I've been abandoning you and Dylan chasing something that might not even happen…'

He was silenced by Anna's fingers on his lips. 'Don't even start that again. I would let you know if it bothered me and it doesn't. Sure, I miss you. Dylan misses you. But I still fall asleep in your arms every night, wake up beside you each morning. That's all I need. It's fine.'

John offered her a wink then. 'You have a way with words, Mrs Bates. Perhaps you are the real lyricist in this relationship.'

He rose to his feet, taking his guitar and putting it on it's stand beside his piano. Turning around, he noticed he had Anna's undivided attention. 'What?'

'I don't half fancy you, you know.' Releasing a chuckle at her words, John placed his hands on his hips as Anna approached him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

'I've got the day off tomorrow,' John breathed, pulling Anna tighter into his embrace. 'And we've no rehearsal planned until the evening. Let's lock the door and spend the day here, just me, you and our son.'

'That sounds perfect.'

* * *

The early morning spring sunshine peeped through the small gap between the curtains, John watching as it illuminated his wife's face. She was still asleep, and he had been lying on his side watching her, he wasn't sure how long for. Dylan was still sleeping soundly, his father able to make out his soft snores on the baby monitor. It was these moments that John treasured, waking up beside the love of his life the greatest gift ever bestowed upon him, apart from his son of course.

And as if on queue, it was then that he heard Dylan whimper. Thankfully, he hadn't woken his mother, John deciding to allow her to continue in her peaceful slumber whilst he got up and saw to their son. As the noises coming from his room grew louder, John turned off the monitor so as not to disturb his wife, then continued out of the bedroom to the one belonging to their son.

'There, there Peanut,' John cooed softly as he approached the cot, Dylan's discomfort seeming to ease as he heard his father's soothing tone. He was eight months old now and you would never be able to tell the trouble he had early on looking at him. The baby offered John a gummy smile as he lifted him into his arms. 'Shall we get some breakfast then?'

Once in the kitchen, John carefully placed Dylan in his highchair as he moved around the kitchen, preparing himself and his son some breakfast. Speaking to him as he worked, John loved to hear Dylan's contented noises, like they were holding a proper conversation.

'So, what shall it be for sir this morning?' John asked his son, showing him two boxes. 'Will it be the porridge or rusks?' Dylan kicked out his legs, giggling as his Daddy moved the packages towards him. 'Let's go rusks, shall we? A fine choice, sir.' The newspaper dropped through the letterbox then, John turning his attentions towards the door. 'Ahh, lets see what excuses that man we call our manager has for our latest defeat eh, mate?'

Dylan turned his head to watch as John crossed the room to the door, bending to pick up the paper and turning it over to look at the back page. Reading as he walked, John over exaggerated rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

'I don't know, son. I've heard blaming the kit, blaming the fact the team is tired but his latest excuse of the crowd being too loud takes the biscuit.'

After throwing the paper on the table, the thud it made drawing Dylan's attention, John continued preparing their breakfast.

'What should Daddy have? Now, if Mummy was here she'd say that God awful muesli and some yoghurt, but seeing as she's out for the count Daddy's going to go for a couple of slices of toast covered thickly with strawberry jam.'

As he began to feed Dylan and himself, John read aloud the events that had made their way into the newspaper.

'Honestly. How many people really care what the latest reality star has got himself into trouble for?' John asked his son, Dylan replying by blowing a raspberry. 'Precisely, no one.' John shut the paper as Dylan finished his breakfast, taking another bite of his toast as Dylan eyed his father's food. 'Sorry son, in a few months it will be sneaky toast and jam with Daddy all the way. But not until a few more of those teeth have come through.'

Done with their meal, John looked over to his piano by the balcony doors. He decided there was no time like the present to practice the song on the band's set list he had been struggling with. He was playing the piano on this particular song and although he had the right notes down, the lyrics were proving an issue. After tidying the kitchen and making sure Dylan looked presentable, John picked him up and sat with him at the piano.

'Now, this song Jack has insisted we have in the set is driving Daddy mad,' John explained as he played a scale, Dylan looking to his father's fingers as he played. 'See, playing the keyboards is fine, it's just with these new fangled songs the lyrics are hard to get the hang of and Daddy's been given the first verse to sing. Or maybe it's my age?' John eyed Dylan sitting on his lap out of the corner of his eye. 'Don't answer that. Let's give this a go then.'

Clearing his throat, John searched for the lyrics that began the song.

'_It might seem crazy what I'm about to say,_' John began, playing the notes on the piano before looking straight ahead as he searched his memory for what came next. Dylan looked up transfixed as he listened to his father singing. '_Sunshine's she here, you can take a break. I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space. With the air, like I don't care, baby by the way…' _

'_Because I'm happy…' _

John looked up to see Anna standing at the bedroom door wearing a smile, her robe tied loosely at the waist joining in with his performance.

'Ahh, good morning Mummy,' John said brightly, Dylan turning his attentions to her and becoming excited at Anna's presence. 'Did Daddy's awful singing wake you up?'

'You know I love to hear you sing,' Anna dismissed John's words with a laugh, reaching the two of them at the piano and placing a kiss on John's head. 'Has he had breakfast?'

'Yes, we are both fed and watered and are about to get dressed.'

'Why bother? Lets have a duvet day,' Anna suggested as she wandered into the kitchen area, switching the kettle on. 'We can catch up on that drama we recorded, and if Dylan gets fed up with a cuddle he's quite content once you put him under his jungle gym.'

And that was what they did. Dylan snuggled between his parents happily for an or so playing with a few of his toys before he became a little fed up. Anna was right however, he moved to his jungle gym in front of the television, and was so content after about half an hour he fell asleep. Anna noticed first, cooing over her son as he snuffled softly.

'Aww, bless him. He's so beautiful.'

'You moan at me for falling asleep in front of the telly, yet when the boy does it it's cute.'

'But you're not eight months old John, you're forty…'

'Yeah, don't remind me,' John interrupted her, pulling her tighter to him. 'I can't believe it's nearly midday and we are all here together still in our pyjamas.'

'Hello,' Anna began in her defence, 'it's a duvet day.'

'It wasn't a criticism, my love. It's just if army me was watching right now he'd be freaking out at my indiscipline.'

'Well, it's lucky those days are behind you.'

'It certainly is.'

Anna detected the melancholy tone to his voice, and decided to change the subject. 'So, _Happy_ is also on the set list then?'

'It is. One of Jack's suggestions. We also have _Don't Look Back In Anger _by Oasis, some Genesis to cover Michael's love for Phil Collins…'

'Well he is a drummer. Any songs you've managed to get into the set?'

'You'll have to wait and see,' John replied coyly, not wanting to reveal anything.

They watched another episode, all the while Dylan remained asleep. Anna decided to cook them a pizza from the freezer for lunch, accompanied by a salad which John feigned interest in to keep his wife happy. They ate at the table before falling back on the sofa again to watch the next instalment of their drama, Dylan still asleep.

'I think I know who the killer is,' John whispered as the episode reached a particularly dramatic moment, Anna leant forward a little in her seat.

'Ssh, don't tell me.'

'But that's half the fun, guessing who the killer is.'

'Yeah, but you're always right and it spoils it,' Anna explained in a hushed tone. John smirked a little at his wife's admission, resting his head on his hand on the arm of the sofa and remained quiet. 'Oh my God, it's him isn't it?'

'Who, my love?'

'The one in the black shirt, married to the doctor.'

'I couldn't possibly say.' Anna looked over her shoulder at him looking smug behind her, a grin on his face. 'What? You told me you didn't want me to tell you.'

* * *

With rehearsal finished, the members of the band did what they usually did and overtook Robert's kitchen. Cora was out with her daughters, and so Robert was playing the role of host, Jack and Michael chatting to him intently whilst John and Charles sat out in the conservatory with a guitar.

'That sounds great,' Charles enthused after John had played him what he had written the night before. 'Love the lyrics.'

'It just came to me, I never knew it was that easy.'

'Well, it's not always,' Charles replied with a chuckle. He scuffed the floor with his foot then with a downwards glance. 'Do you think we'll do this, John? We've been practicing so hard and to my ear we sound alright but it all seems to good to be true.'

Only able to offer a shrug, John looked over his shoulder to ensure no one was within ear shot of them. 'We do sound good together, but getting the contract is one thing, making it is another. I will admit this though, I never expected to be enjoying this as much as I am. I miss Anna and Dylan like mad, but I am loving playing in a band. It's something I haven't done for years.'

'It's been great,' Charles agreed. 'Hopefully this Strallan bloke will think so too.'

'Here guys, Robert's come up with a great name for the band.'

Jack's voice interrupted their private conversation, Charles and John rising to their feet and walking into the kitchen.

'Well there's four of you and it's almost certain you are going to hit the big time,' Robert began, Charles and John joining Michael at the table, he wearing a none too impressed expression. 'So how does 'Fourgone Conclusion' sound?'

John screwed up his nose at the suggestion before Charles spoke up. 'God no.'

'What's wrong with it?' Jack started to argue.

'It's worse than that R and B crap you came up with when we were a duo.'

Robert appeared offended. 'Thanks a lot.'

'Sorry Rob.'

'Well, we need a name,' Jack exclaimed, emphasising his point with a flail.

'Correction,' Michael said, standing up. 'We need a record contract first. A name at the moment is obsolete.'

'He's right,' Charles agreed.

'When is the audition again?' Robert asked, picking up the empty mugs from the centre of the table.

'Next Saturday,' Jack answered, leaning against the kitchen counter and folding his arms.

Robert clicked his fingers. 'Ahh, how about 'The Saturdays?'

'Already been taken, mate,' John offered with a sigh.

'Hey, they're not bad either,' Michael added, 'especially the one married to Wayne Bridge.'

'God yes,' Charles agreed without missing a beat.

'Right anyway, clear out of my house so I can go to bed,' Robert gestured towards the door. 'You know I love you but I have to be up early to take Cora to the garden centre tomorrow.'

'Rather you than me,' John said to his friend as he followed the rest of his band mates down the hallway. 'I get out of that by not having a garden.'

Once outside, John said his goodbyes before noticing Jack was holding back a little. 'Mind if I walk with you?'

'Of course not,' John replied with a smile, watching as Charles and Michael drove off in different directions. 'You okay?'

'Yeah. We sound awesome, don't we?'

John chuckled. 'To me we sound okay but I'm not a record producer.'

'Well, we've only done what they told us to.'

'True,' John conceded with a nod of the head. They walked in a companionable silence for a few moments before the elder of the two decided to admit something to the man beside him. 'Jack, if things take off we'll be away a lot, won't we?'

'Yeah, the life of a rock and roll star, man.'

'It's the bit in all of this I'm not comfortable with.' John didn't sound as excited as his friend. 'Being away from Anna and Dyl.'

'What does Anna say about it all?'

'She's happy for me to follow my dream, whatever it takes.'

'Gwen says the same.'

'Things are heating up between you too?' John asked under raised brows.

'Yeah, she's amazing. Beautiful. Much more than I deserve.'

'I thought the same about Anna,' John remarked, stopping as they came to a crossing. 'Don't question it, just accept it. It's better in the long run, believe me'

Jack released a small chuckle. 'I'll take your word for it.' He looked up and pointed ahead. 'Well, I go this way and you go that so I'll say goodnight.'

'Goodnight mate.'

'John,' Jack placed a hand on his arm, causing John to stop suddenly. 'I just wanted to say thanks, for entertaining this dream of mine. I know this is probably towards the bottom of your lists of priorities, but I really appreciate it. You're a brilliant musician and an even better friend.'

John couldn't help but smile. 'Hey, we were in this together from the beginning and we'll be in it together until the end too. Remember, we are the founding members of this nameless band.' He took a step closer. 'And between you and me, I'm coming to realise the more we practice how much I actually want this. Hopefully it's all worth it.'


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N- So here we go. Self indulgent, maybe but I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for all the reviews and follows.**

**Disclaimer-** Nothing belongs to me, unfortunately...

* * *

'_Is this the place we used to love, is this the place I've been dreaming of…' _

John stepped out of Dylan's room, having just settled him off for an afternoon nap. Looking towards the kitchen, Anna had her back to him, busily cleaning the kitchen for the impending visit of her family, coming down for the gig. They weren't staying in the flat, but Anna had still insisted on giving the place a spring clean.

They had safely arrived in London, Anna's parents staying with Helen and her siblings and their families booking a hotel, all due around to the flat to see Anna and Dylan for the first time in a few months.

As she was working, Anna was singing and John chuckled as he listened, still unnoticed by his wife. Placing the baby monitor on the coffee table, he silently tiptoed across the living room area towards the kitchen.

'_And if you have a minute why don't we go? Talking 'bout it, somewhere only we know, this could be the end of everything…' _

Now standing directly behind Anna, John held his hands behind his back, looking over her shoulder as she wiped down the kitchen counter. He couldn't resist joining in her little sing song.

'_So why don't we go, somewhere only we know.' _

'Crikey John,' Anna gasped, bringing a trembling hand to her chest. 'I wish you wouldn't sneak up on me like that.'

He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. 'Well, if you'd had known I was there, you might have stopped singing.'

She chuckled at that, leaning further back into her husband's touch. 'Yeah, wouldn't that have been a tragedy.'

'I love your singing voice,' John replied, pressing a kiss to Anna's temple before relinquishing contact. 'What time do the rabble arrive?'

'Hey, that's your in laws you are speaking about,' Anna chided him, slapping him playfully on his upper arm. She looked at her watch. 'Any minute now. Is your Mum not coming too?'

'It's her bingo afternoon,' John moved towards where his piano was situated, picking up his guitar from it's stand beside. 'She won't miss her bingo for anyone.'

Pulling the guitar strap over his head, John strummed the strings lightly, checking to see if the instrument was in tune. Just as he was about to start playing something, he heard Anna's voice.

'Quietly, Dylan's asleep. I know you have an important gig to practice for but still.'

'When have I ever woken him up?'

The audition, or 'just another gig' as the band had chosen to call it, was tomorrow night at Cheerful Charlie's. John was pretty certain of the set list now, and to his ear the still unnamed band were sounding great. The four of them had really bonded, it felt like they had been playing together much longer than a few weeks.

Just as he was about to start playing once more, the buzzer for the door could be heard. 'Here we go, if my guitar playing wasn't going to wake Dylan, this lot certainly will.'

John's prediction was proven to be unfounded as the family Smith made themselves comfortable in his and Anna's home. Molly had been very keen to sit at the piano and show her Uncle John how well her lessons had been coming along, having started them just after Christmas. Toby was finding Dylan's baby toys extremely enthralling, having emptied his cousin's whole toy box on the floor.

'So, which record label will you be signed to then, John?' Phillip asked, accepting a cup of tea from his sister as he spoke.

'Well, we might be signed to Strallan Records, if we are successful.'

'My husband doesn't like to get his hopes up,' Anna rolled her eyes good naturedly before sitting next to Toby on the floor.

'Who is on their books, John?' Jane was next to ask.

'A few people, the most famous probably being Harry Thompson,' John answered, intently watching Molly's fingers as they played the keys in a scale.

'Ohh, I like him,' Harriet remarked, 'he was on the telly the other day. Lovely voice.'

'Yeah well, John can sing better than him,' Phillip tried to big up his brother in law. 'You're a shoe in, surely.'

John lifted his eyebrows, tightening his lips. 'We'll see.'

'James will be there , representing us old'uns,' Harriet said. 'Myself and your Mum will be sorry to miss it.'

'It's alright, I think Jack is getting someone to record it,' John replied. 'We're really grateful to you both for looking after the kids.'

'It's a pleasure,' Harriet ran a hand over Toby's hair from her position on the sofa. Suddenly, the sounds of Hotel California could be heard, John recognising it to be his phone ringing.

'Who's that?' Anna asked as she watched John retrieve his phone from the coffee table.

'Jack,' John answered, walking into the bedroom he shared with Anna and closing the door behind him.

'Is John alright?' Becky asked once he was out of ear shot.

'Just nervous I think,' Anna shrugged. 'Tomorrow night could change his life and I think it's beginning to dawn on him how momentous this all is.'

'It could be huge,' Phillip enthused, 'a member of a famous band in the family. How cool is that?'

'Will he be more famous than One Direction, Daddy?' Molly asked from the piano, causing a ripple of laughter to pass amongst the adults.

'Give him time, he hasn't even got the record contract yet,' James answered his granddaughter with an incredulous tone to his voice. 'No wonder he's nervous with you all telling him how much his life is going to change.'

Just then, John came back into the room, pressing the screen of his phone a couple of times before placing it in his pocket. 'Well, Jack has just told me tomorrow night is a sell out.'

'That's brilliant,' the smile on her face was evident in Anna's voice. John moved back towards where Molly was sitting at the piano. 'Isn't it?'

'It's great,' John nodded his head in agreement, albeit none too convincingly. Making a mental note to ask him what was wrong later on, Anna looked at the time on the clock on the wall.

'I best go and wake the little one up, or he'll never sleep tonight.'

* * *

Cheerful Charlie's was buzzing when the band arrived the next evening. They had spent the day together, preparing as a four, for what could be the most important evening in their lives. After their sound check in the afternoon, the men had headed back to Jack's apartment. Trying to keep their feet on the ground, John had been drilling the band through their knowledge of lyrics, chords and the like. Michael had been very quiet, clearly citing this opportunity as his last chance to be what he had always wanted to be. Jack and Charles at some points were already planning the band's sell out world tour down to what outfits they would wear, costume changes and all. John was quick to make them aware of the fact the band wasn't even named yet.

'Let's not run before we can walk, eh lads?' John advised them as they stood outside the shop.

John had chanced a glance around the side of the building, where the queues of people squeezing into the two hundred and fifty capacity venue were making their way inside. He still had very mixed views on the whole thing. This was amazing, an opportunity of being offered a record contract didn't come along every day and was something he never thought would happen to him. But he couldn't help thinking that was because it was something he had never really desired. Maybe before he had met his wife and they had brought their son into the world, it would have meant more to him. But the thought of inevitably having to leave them for months at a time wasn't appealing, no matter how much Anna insisted he would be a fool to let this pass him by.

Now inside the shop, Charles Carson was there to greet them, alongside Anna, Gwen and Charles girlfriend, Jenny.

'You'll never guess who is here,' Gwen cooed excitedly, greeting Jack by throwing her arms around his shoulders and placing a kiss on his cheek.

'Simon Cowell?' Charles joked, greeting Jenny.

'Harry Thompson,' Anna informed them all, taking John's hand in hers. She was looking at him, John was sure it was because of his less than enthusiastic nature. She could read him like a book. 'Evelyn and that Strallan brought him along.'

'I bet you all got a selfie, ladies,' Michael said with a smirk, resulting in all three women reaching for their mobile phones.

'He's a lot shorter than you'd think,' Gwen cooed, studying her picture closely.

'But he smells amazing,' Jenny added.

'Come along ladies.' the deep booming voice of the elder Charles filled the room. 'The guys need to prepare and people are already waiting outside in the lobby.'

'Are you alright?' Anna whispered to her husband. He nodded, although the expression on his face betrayed that.

'You guys go through, I just want a moment with John.'

He eyed his wife sceptically, but watched as everyone else moved through to the auditorium. Releasing a heavy breath, John let Anna lead him to the sofa located in the listening area of the shop.

'Alright John Bates, out with it.'

'Out with what?' John tried to act nonchalant, but the arch of Anna's eyebrow made him realise she wasn't buying his mock innocence. He leant back against the sofa and ran a hand through his hair. 'I'm just having a moment of doubt, that's all. It's natural, isn't it?'

'Doubting about what? Getting the contract?'

'No, that would be the normal thing to be doubting.'

'You are so cryptic,' Anna replied, her lips quirking into a smirk. 'I don't half love my brooding Mr Bates, but I do wish he'd cut to the chase sometimes.'

'I was thinking earlier whilst Jack and Charles were planning the outfits for the fifth outfit change on our world tour,' his words caused Anna to giggle but he continued on through her mirth. 'If we get this record contract, I am going to be away from home for months at a time.'

'Not this again,' Anna rolled her eyes. 'I've told you John, it's absolutely fine…'

'It's not that, I know that I have your blessing. It's the fact that for an extended amount of time, I won't wake up next to you every day. I won't lift my head at the breakfast table and see you smiling back at me. I'll be missing out on so much with Dylan, with him doing something new every day.'

Anna edged closer to John, putting her arm on the back of the sofa behind him. He turned his head to meet her gaze. 'I get that John, I do. But this is absolutely huge. I've seen the look on your face when you are playing, you love music…'

'I love you more.'

Closing her eyes, Anna allowed a smile to pass over her lips as she released a shaky breath. What this man did to her with his words, with his gestures was incredible, but she wouldn't let this moment pass him by. He needed to realise how incredible this chance was, the things he was going to experience, the places he was going to see if the band really got off the ground. And having heard them together, she truly believed that was a possibility.

'You'll only regret this John, believe me, and I don't want to be the reason for that. Me and Dylan, we aren't going anywhere. And I'm sure there will be times we can come with you. Musicians do that, take their families with them on occasion. Technology these days, there is Skype and Facetime. '

'Perhaps,' John cocked his head to the side, considering her words. She was right, of course she was. 'It would be a lot easier doing this now than in days gone by. It's still going to be bloody difficult though.'

Moving a little closer, John shuddered as he felt Anna's warm breath against the skin of his face. Her whisper was the next thing he heard. 'You are the most incredible man I have ever met. You gave me the life I had always wanted, and made it much more magical than my wildest imaginings.'

'God, Anna…'

'Now, go up there sing your heart out, play that guitar like it's the last time you ever will and do it all with a smile. Because I love the way you look when you are up on that stage, doing what you were so obviously born to do.'

He didn't answer her with words, instead choosing to place a gentle hand on her cheek, bringing her lips closer to his. Their kiss was brief, too brief for Anna's liking but it made her heart skip a beat all the same.

'I love you,' John breathed against her lips. 'So much.'

'I love you too,' Anna pulled away, brushing a spot of lint from John's shoulder. 'Now go, your band will be waiting for you.'

* * *

The auditorium was now full, and behind the stage curtain John, Jack, Charles and Michael could hear those gathered in conversation. They had seen Evelyn, Anthony and Harry Thompson sitting towards the back, making this seem all the more real now. Nerves had began to set in, Jack biting his nails and Michael pacing the floor. Being the older head here, John knew he had to bring some calm to the situation.

'Two minutes until I announce you,' Carson said to them all, peeking his head back though the curtain before disappearing again.

'Oh God,' Charles closed his eyes, clenching one of his fists in the other palm.

'Right, okay,' John was losing his patience, just a little. 'Huddle, now.'

'What?' Michael asked, ceasing his pacing of the floor.

'Group huddle,' John's voice was a little more insistent this time, pointing to the floor directly in front of him. 'Let's go.' The three men shared unsure expression before joining John, wrapping their arms around each other. 'Right, everyone just take a second to breathe. It's not like we are the Christians being thrown to the lions, or being lead to the gallows. We are going out there to do something we all love to do. If things go right, this won't be the first time we play to a crowd, and crowds that will probably be ten, twenty, fifty times the size of that one out there.'

'Not helping John,' Jack shook his head as he jigged about on the spot.

'We are all in this together,' John carried on, 'and we all sound bloody great together. No matter what happens. This is for every time we've rocked out to Eddie Cochran…'

'Who?' Charles asked, furrowing his brow.

John sighed, continuing his rallying cry. 'For every time we've pretended to be Don Henley…'

'You're on your own there, dude.' Jack said, causing a ripple of laughter between the Charles and Michael.

John's patience was wearing even thinner. 'Alright, this for that time you were pretending to be whoever it was you pretended to be…'

'Superman?' Michael replied with a confused expression.

'For God's sake, am I really about to embark on something like this with you three loons?'

'And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.'

'Here we go,' Jack said, tugging a little more tighter on John's shoulder.

'I've had an amazing few weeks with you all,' Michael said, looking at each of his band mates one by one. 'Truly.'

'I don't want this to end,' Jack remarked, 'even if we don't get the desired result, can we carry on as a band?'

'I'd love that,' Charles was quick to agree, Michael nodding too.

John had to admit to himself, he had had a brilliant time rehearsing with the three men in his company right now. 'Me too.'

'Now, they haven't got a name yet, but it's a momentous evening for these four men,' Charles was still addressing the crowd as the band released their hold on each other. 'So lets give them all your support. Would you please welcome, the nameless four.'

'The Nameless Four,' Jack pondered aloud. 'I like that.'

'No,' Michael, Charles and John said in unison.

The noise was deafening as they reached the stage and took their positions, Michael at the drums, Jack the keyboard, Charles at the front on his bass, John beside him with his guitar. He searched for Anna in the crowd, noting where she was before he did anything else. Noticing her staring back at him, the pride evident on her face, he offered her a subtle wink before doing as had been requested earlier in the afternoon, he would be the one who would address the crowd.

The Crawley's and all the interlopers they brought with them were present, as were Anna's family. John recognised a lot of people from his and Jack's weekly gigs, they had garnered a small following and it was most welcome to have their support this evening. John then saw the three men they were trying to impress tonight, bowing his head slightly in acknowledgement when Evelyn offered him a thumbs up.

'Good evening everyone, and welcome to Cheerful Charlie's. Now, some stalwarts of the gigs we hold here might recognise myself and the joker on the keys, but if not, allow me to introduce everyone.' John turned, pointing in the direction of his American friend. 'On the keyboards, lead vocal and occasionally the guitar, we have Chicago's finest, Jack Ross.' John allowed the crowd to greet his introduction of Jack before turning to the drums. 'The wizard who shall be keeping us in time is one Michael Gregson, and on the bass we have Charles Blake, who will also be delighting you with his dulcet tones no doubt.'

Applause and cheering filled the room at the introduction of the two newcomers before Charles interrupted to introduce John. 'And on lead guitar, occasionally the piano because he's a show off and magnificent lead vocals, which I'm sure a lot of you have already heard, is Mr John Bates. And we are the Nameless Four.'

The set list the band had chosen offered those gathered the chance to hear something new, something old and perhaps from the four men on the stage, something unexpected. They started upbeat, with John's vocals coming to the fore as they performed _'I Saw Her Standing There_' by The Beatles. The vocals were then shared between Jack, John and Charles as they belted out _'Don't Look Back In Anger' _by Oasis, '_Drag Me Down' _by One Direction and '_Run To You' _by Bryan Adams.

It was then that Jack and John swapped positions, the latter taking control of the keyboards and vocal for versions of _'I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues' _by Elton John, and _'You Do Something To Me' _by Paul Weller, his and Anna's song. He made sure he looked to her to various points during the song, ensuring she knew it was her who occupied his thoughts as he sung the lyrics that meant so much to the two of them.

The gig then took on a more up tempo vibe as Jack and John remained where they were, the American showing off his smooth voice with his rendition of Pharrell Williams' _'Happy.' _This song was also a chance for the three vocalists to display how well their different tones meshed together, truly believing not many bands nowadays could possess such a talent.

Jack and John swapped instruments once more as they played the last remaining three songs of the set. A lot of the crowd were now on their feet, John knowing they had those gathered in the palm of their hands. It was going well, but Strallan and Evelyn weren't giving much away with their demeanours.

They began the last section of the show with _'Waterloo Sunset' _by The Kinks, a nod to John's busking days. If the audience weren't already on their feet, they soon were when the band attempted Jackie Wilson's hit, _'Higher and Higher.' _Reaching the last song, Jack joined John and Charles at the front of the stage.

'So we've reached the end. Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience,' John addressed the crowd, smiling as Jack reached his side. 'But we've saved the best until lost, a staple in the set list of Ross and Bates.'

'This has to be seen to be believed,' Charles chipped in, having been amazed when the two has suggested it be on the set list, then flabbergasted when they had actually performed it.

'So, we hope you've enjoyed your evening, and thanks for the support.'

Silence fell until Michael counted John in. He played the familiar riff, causing the audience to cheer as they realised what it was, Michael and Charles accompanying John with their instruments. The vocals on this song were all Jack's.

'_I took my baby with me on a Saturday bang. Man, is that girl with you, yes we're one and the same…' _he sang with gusto, and now everybody was on their feet. _'I believe in miracles, and a miracle has happened tonight. If you're thinking about my baby, it don't matter if you're…'_

'_Black or white,' _John and Charles joined him for these lyrics, clearly getting into the performance as much as Jack was. They played the song to the part where John had absolutely flummoxed every body the first time they had performed the song in the pub, just before John and Anna had married.

'_Protection for gangs, clubs and nations, causing grief in human relations, it's a turf war, on a global score, I'd rather hear both sides of the tale. See, it's not about races, just places, faces. Where your blood comes from is where your space is. I've seen the bright get duller, I'm not going to spend my life being a colour…' _

'_Tell me if you agree with me when I saw you kicking dirt in my eye…' _Jack continued as the crowd reacted to John's rapping, and Charles wasn't lying, it had been unexpected to some, especially those from Strallan records who John had realised were now on their feet themselves.

The song now finished, the band accepted the rapturous applause as Michael joined them at the front of the stage. Wrapping their arms around each other, they bowed to those gathered, clearly thrilled with how the show had gone. As the clapping died down, and the audience began to slowly filter away, John looked down from the stage to see Evelyn and Strallan approach, followed by Harry Thompson beside a burly, heavy set man John assumed to be the popstar's bodyguard.

'Lads, that was truly marvellous,' Anthony enthused, shaking each band members hand in turn. 'Inspired set list.'

'Thank you,' Jack replied, 'so what happens now?'

John inwardly rolled his eyes, trust his American friend to be so forthright. 'Perhaps they need time to think it over?'

'Not at all,' Anthony shook his head before looking to Evelyn. 'Do you want to tell them or should I?'

Evelyn grinned before turning his attentions to the men on stage. 'Come to the office for midday on Monday, I'm sure we can thrash something out.'

'Yes,' Charles exclaimed, punching the air.

'It's well deserved,' Anthony added with a laugh as Jack embraced him.

'It certainly is,' agreed Harry, stepping forwards to shake the hand of each of the band in turn before reaching John. 'Especially you, man. Great vocals on the Weller track, I love that song.'

* * *

After sharing their news, it was decided a victory night in London Town was in order. James joined them, and it was his son and son in laws objective from pretty early on to get Anna's father drunk. A visit to a bar near Cheerful Charlie's set James well on his way, Phillip obviously knowing what James liked to drink and that he couldn't say no when someone else was buying.

'You should really slow down,' Anna advised her brother, the two of them looking on as John bought his father in law another whiskey chaser. 'He's not as young as he used to be.'

'Come on Anna. We're one alcoholic beverage away from getting him to agree to come to the club afterwards. Dad in a club? I smell comedy.'

And that was what they succeeded in doing. Robert and Cora decided to bow out when suggestions of a night club came about, not wanting to embarrass their daughters with their presence, even though John berated his friend for such a poor excuse. Becky and Jane also made their apologies, citing wanting to relieve Harriet and Helen of their babysitting duties, however telling Anna to stay out and enjoy the celebrations, they would see to Dylan as well. The revellers were headed to John's old place of employment, Sugar and Spice, and John secretly prayed a certain person wasn't on the door.

Rounding the corner, John's fears were realised as he saw Thomas standing at the entrance, Alfred opposite him.

'Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in,' came the jovial call from Alfred once he had clocked his old colleague. 'Haven't seen you for ages, Batesy.'

'I've been slightly busy,' John replied with a smile, looking down at the woman whose hand was in his. 'How are you Alf?'

The two men shook hands before Thomas realised who Alfred was greeting. The rest of the group continued into the club, however Anna remained by her husband's side. 'Bloody hell, Bates. How did you manage to pull her?'

Thomas's voice instantly made John stand up straighter, taking Anna's hand in his once more. 'I didn't pull anyone, Thomas. I fell in love with a beautiful woman who happened to love me back.'

'Please, I'm going to throw up,' Thomas mocked, turning away to check the ID's of a group of young women who had just turned up.

'Ignore him,' Alfred advised John and Anna before changing the subject. 'Tonight's theme is right up your street, Guv.' John smiled at Alfred's use of the old nickname he held for him. 'It's Movie Night.'

Once inside, Anna and John traced their group to a corner of the club, James sitting down and looking the worse for wear. Gwen and Ethel were already on the dance floor, Jack in hot pursuit of his girlfriend as _Men In Black by _Will Smith echoed around the room. Jenny had joined them, having hit it off with the two ladies since they had met for the first time earlier in the evening. The Crawley sisters, Tom and Matthew had also made their way to the dance floor. Charles and Michael were much more reserved, seemingly gathering a drinks order, Phil and Gary encouraging James to have another.

'Just a lemonade for me,' James managed to slur.

'Maybe you should go home, Dad,' Anna suggested, shouting to make herself heard over the sound system.

'No, I just need to get my second wind,' her father insisted. 'A couple of soft drinks and I'll be back on form.'

After an hour or so, Anna had managed to coax John up to dance to join the others, the choice of music clearly pleasing those gathered. After the whole club had partook in a spectacularly out of tune version of _Summer Nights_, John couldn't resist letting himself go as the sound of _Footloose _filled the club. Jack was right there with him, as was Tom and it wasn't long before the three of them were the life and soul of the party.

'All this, and without alcohol,' Anna had managed to whisper in John's ear as the song faded into another.

'You're my wife,' John was quick to reply, leaning down so Anna could hear his voice. 'I'm surprised I'm not dancing all the time.'

Things had developed so quickly between them, what with the unexpected news of Dylan and realising pretty early on they were meant to be together, that John and Anna hadn't shared many nights like this. Although John would consider himself far too old for spending the evening in a club, it was Anna who made him feel young, made him feel like he wasn't out of place as the more youthful members of their party danced around them.

After _Ghostbusters_ had left the clubbers in raptures, the DJ announced the last hour would be devoted to ballads from the movie genre, resulting in a few to leave the space. John tried to join them, but his hand was grabbed by Anna.

'Where do you think you are going, Mr Bates?'

He smirked as she pulled him towards the corner of the dance floor, his arms finding her waist as she lifted her own to wrap around his shoulders. 'I was hoping for a sit down, Mrs Bates. I'm not as mobile as I used to be.'

'Hmm, you seem to move alright to me,' she replied, a husk to her tone. John lifted his eyebrows and held her gaze, quickly catching on to her double meaning.

'Anna, we're going to take Dad home.'

Their moment was interrupted by Phil tugging on Anna's arm. They looked over to the table to see James slumped in the corner, fast asleep. 'Told you he was waning.'

'Yeah, well,' Phil shrugged before offering John his hand. 'Congratulations rock star.'

'Thanks Phil.'

Anna and John watched as Phil and Gary heaved James to his feet, the old man protesting and clearly insisting he could manage before he preceded to fall over the chair next to his, causing Anna to roll her eyes and look away as John chuckled heartily beside her.

'Well, I hope you're happy with yourself. I wouldn't like to be Dad when Mum sees him.'

'Come on, Anna,' John tried to protest, the gentle sound of _Everything I Do _by Bryan Adams playing around them as they began to sway together. 'It's funny.'

'Hmm, whatever,' Anna murmured, resting her head against John's shoulder.

They remained silent for a while then, becoming lost in the music and the feel of each other as love song after love song played on in the club. Jack and Gwen were clearly enjoying each other's company, sharing kisses and laughter as they danced. Tom and Sybil were sitting at the table, talking intently about something as Tom nursed a pint and she a glass of Coke. Ethel had managed to snag some bloke to enjoy a slow dance with, Anna wasn't too surprised. Mary and Matthew were arguing at the bar about something or other, but what made Anna raise her eyebrows was the sight of Edith and Michael dancing closely together.

'I can see you looking at everyone, Mrs Bates.'

John's voice made Anna lift her head to meet his eyes. 'Sorry, I was just watching Michael and Edith.'

'Did you not know about that?'

Anna offered him an disbelieving stare. 'You did?'

He nodded. 'They got talking one evening after we had finished a rehearsal at Rob's place.'

'Well, well, well,' Anna tucked her head back under John's chin.

'We're turning into a real life Grease,' John remarked, 'a guy for every girl.'

'Yeah, but there's only one guy for me,' Anna replied, squeezing her arms more tightly around John's shoulders. Those words earned her a chaste peck on the lips from him, before he pulled away, a quizzical expression on his face. 'What is it?'

'This song, it's _Cry To Me _bySolomon Burke. The Rolling Stones covered it, too.'

'Is it? All I know it as is the song that was playing when Johnny and Baby first got it on in _Dirty Dancing_.'

'It was in _Dirty Dancing_?'

Anna huffed impatiently. 'I thought you were the music guru.'

'Music yes, Chick flicks, no.'

'Hey, that scene was the most erotic thing ever to sixteen year old me.'

'Is that so,' John growled in her ear, pulling Anna more closely to him. 'Care to describe it to me?'

'I can't believe you've never seen the film.'

'Does it make me a terribly bad person?'

'No,' Anna was quick to reassure him. 'You're eyes have just never seen the wonder of Patrick Swayze dancing in tight trousers.'

'Well, seeing as I am not that way inclined I'll try not to be too disheartened,' John whispered in response, eliciting a chuckle from his wife. 'So tell me about this scene.'

'Oh, she goes back to his cabin, and tells him the most romantic line ever delivered in movie history.'

'I can't believe there is anything more romantic than, 'We're going to need a bigger boat,' but tell me. What does she say?'

Anna moved her lips so they were right beside John's ear, quoting the line perfectly, word for word, with so much emotion in her voice it could have been Anna herself giving life to her inner most thoughts. 'I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I'm with you.'

John swallowed hard, letting her words flow over him. The way Anna had said them had affected him in a manner he hadn't been expecting. The only reason John was still moving was because of Anna's presence beside him, gently encouraging him to sway. He needed to compose himself before replying. 'Well, that certainly is romantic. What happens next?'

'This song begins to play, and she asks him to dance with her.'

'Right.'

'But not just any dancing, hence the title of the film.' She felt John's heavy breath against her temple. 'And one thing leads to another and…'

'I get the picture,' John interrupted her, covering her mouth with his own as the song continued on around them.

'What was that for, Mr Bates?'

'It's a very nice picture you paint with your words, Mrs Bates. What do you say we go home and partake in some dirty dancing of our own?'

'Oh my God,' Anna buried her head in his shoulder, giggling heartily. 'You did not just say that.'

'Come on, I've tried not to feel out of place nearly all evening with all you youngsters around me and my usual wing man ditching me. I'm allowed one slip-up.'

Anna released her hold on him before entwining her fingers with his. 'It's lucky for you that I don't mind the odd cheesy chat up line, now and again. Take me home, Mr Bates.'

* * *

John approached the record company building, smiling as he saw his band mates standing outside, taking animatedly. Jack noticed him first, announcing his arrival with a rather flattering testimonial.

'Here he is, the next Elton John.'

'Yes, thank you Jack,' John said as he shook Michael's hand, then Charles's with a smile etched across his face. 'Sorry I'm late, Dylan decided to redecorate the shirt I had on originally with methods best left to the imagination.'

'What's got the spring in your step?' Jack asked, patting John on the back as their band mates continued on inside before them. He supposed he did seem unusually perky. John offered his friend a wink before explaining himself.

'Solomon Burke, _Cry To Me_. That's all I'm saying.'

Once in Strallan's office, the band were made to wait a few minutes before the man appeared, followed by Evelyn carrying a pile of white papers under his arm.

'Lads, I am so excited by this,' Strallan enthused, greeting them all with a rather vigorous hand shake. 'I have been working tirelessly since the gig…' Evelyn clearing his throat caused him to change direction. 'Myself and Evelyn have been working tirelessly to ensure we can do our very best for you. Mr Napier will tell you what we propose.'

'A one album deal, three tracks to be released as singles and a support spot on Harry Thompson's upcoming European Tour, starting five months from now.'

'That sounds incredible,' John had to admit as he friends voiced their approval around him as well. 'But five months, that's hardly any time at all.'

'We know that,' Anthony was quick to concede, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. 'Putting you on Harry's tour, which is already sold out, means your music will be heard by the biggest audience possible, but we need to move fast. Which is why we have managed to secure you three months at a recording studio in Stockholm.'

'Stockholm? Three months,' John murmured aloud. 'We'd be away for three months?'

'Three months solid,' Anthony confirmed John's assumptions, oblivious to his reluctance. 'The best songwriters are waiting there, ready to help you write your first album. We've hired an apartment near the studio for you all to share. You leave Saturday.'

'Harry was very impressed with you all,' Evelyn added, laying out a contract in front of all four men. 'He asked to have you as the support act on his tour.'

'This is amazing,' Charles exclaimed as he began to finger through the contract.

John's mind was whirring, a fact that Jack seemed to have noticed. Observing the elder statesman of the band wasn't as excited as his band mates, he asked to see John out in the corridor for a moment.

'What is it?' He asked in a harsh whisper, wary of the men on the other side of the door hearing their conversation.

'Three months away from Anna and Dylan,' John choked, looking to the ceiling and biting his lip. 'I knew this was going to happen, I just didn't think it was going to be so soon.'

'Look man, I could sugar coat it, say we'll be following our dreams but I'll be honest.'

'Okay.'

'I'm going to miss Gwen every minute of every day. It's going to suck, big time.'

John shifted impatiently on his feet. 'Cheers mate.'

'But we'll be creating our own music, our own sound. What a fantastic opportunity for us.'

Exhaling a breath, John had to concede his friend was right. 'I know. But there was thinking about leaving them, it's another thing entirely for it to actually happen.'

'If you don't want to proceed with all of this, I'm behind you one hundred per cent.'

Meeting Jack's gaze, John shook his head. 'I can't do that to you all.'

'What does Anna say about it?'

'She's fine about it, says I should go for it and that her and Dylan will be just fine.'

'There you go then,' Jack said, resting a hand on John's shoulder. 'It would be harder if you didn't have her support.'

'True.'

'So what do you say?'

John looked back through the glass panel in the door, Michael and Charles looking ecstatic as they listened to Anthony and Evelyn. Then he turned his gaze to Jack's expectant face, and knew he couldn't very well let them all down now. John forced a smile.

'Let's go and sign these contracts.'

'That's my man.'

Hanging back as Jack marched back into the room, John allowed the smile from his face to fade. It was a wonderful opportunity, Jack was right. However, now it was becoming reality, John was having to comprehend being away from his family, his whole world. And it would take a while to square with that notion.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N- Song used here obviously isn't mine and doesn't belong to me. I just 'borrowed it' from a very talented individual whose music I admire a lot and IMO should be bigger than he is. Going to have to figure out a way of including 'original' songs, I just went with this. But hey, I've been borrowing two characters created by someone else for 32 chapters now so...**

**Thanks for all the reviews, glad some are still enjoying this story. **

**Disclaimer-** ABSOLUTELY nothing belongs to me...

* * *

As she looked around the room, having become engrossed in a conversation with Gwen, Anna hadn't noticed John was nowhere to be seen. After signing the contracts that were sure to be the beginning of an exciting new chapter, the band, their partners and friends had assembled at John and Anna's flat for a celebratory lunch. All whilst they were eating, John had seemed quiet, distant. He had told Anna he was proud to be in a position to do what he loved professionally, and Anna had believed him, but it was clear he didn't share the same enthusiasm as his band mates.

Looking to the settee, where Charles was bouncing Dylan on his knee as he spoke to Robert, Anna noticed the balcony door slightly ajar, then the unmistakable figure of her husband looking out over the Thames.

'Are you alright with him, Charles?'

'Perfectly,' Charles answered Anna, smiling as he looked at Dylan.

'He's a natural with him,' Robert was quick to assure Anna.

Anna smiled, stroking Dylan's head before pointing to the balcony. 'I only ask because I'm going to see what he's brooding about now.'

Robert and Charles looked towards the window, noticing John. Both men nodded, Robert offering Anna a knowing look before she continued out onto the balcony. He must have heard her coming, John turning as Anna closed the glass door behind her with a click. She offered him a smile.

'I just needed some air,' John admitted, 'that flat isn't that big as it is, added with all those people it felt a bit stuffy.'

'Right,' Anna nodded, wrapping her arms across her body. She stepped further onto the balcony, coming to a stop beside him. The traffic rumbled in the distance, the wind gently blowing around them as they stood in silence. She felt John turn his head, Anna responding in kind, their gaze locked. 'So, My Busker is officially a professional musician.'

John released a sigh, his voice hardly filled with enthusiasm. 'He is. Well, he's signed a music contract. We'll see if it all works out.'

'Don't sound too pleased about it.' He lifted his eyes to the heavens at her words, running a hand through his hair. Anna closed her own, realising that probably wasn't the most tactful way to deal with the situation. 'John, look at me.' He didn't respond, staring back down at the water flowing beneath them. Anna placed her hand over that of John's, which was wrapped tightly around the barrier. 'Look at me. Please.'

He relented, meeting her eye once more. 'I'm fine.'

'Give me a little credit, John Bates. I know you a little better than that.' He remained silent. Despite her insistence everything was fine and she supported him whole heartedly, there was something holding him back. And a recording career was a pretty momentous thing to launch into if your heart wasn't in it. 'You know, if you want to pull out of this whole thing, I'll stand by your decision.'

Shifting on his feet at her suggestion, John wrapped his fingers around Anna's. 'I know you would.'

'What is your biggest worry, John? What is putting you off embracing this chance you've been given? Because, if it's because you'd feel guilty about leaving me and Dylan at home, I don't know how many times I have to tell you we'll be absolutely fine...'

'It's because I'll miss you,' John interrupted Anna, turning to look at her once more. 'You are a wonderful mother, you are going to cope so well because you are the most amazing woman I have ever met and you can do anything.' She closed her eyes at that, allowing a soft smile to pass over her lips. 'It's the fact it is going to hurt like hell to be away from you and I'm not sure I want to go through that, despite the fact I'll be doing something I love.'

'But my darling, you will regret missing out on the things you are going to experience with those three men in there, I know you will. You won't be away forever. Three months will pass in no time, you'll be so busy you won't even notice that you're missing us. If you want to go in there and tell them you don't want to be a part of it, I'll walk in there beside you holding your hand. But please, don't let this rob you of a wonderful chance.'

Moving his hand to rest on her hip, John's smirk made Anna's heart skip a beat. 'How can I ever thank you for your unwavering faith in me?'

She brought her hand up to rest on his shoulder, tilting her head to the side. 'Hmm, let me think. Perhaps a song on the album dedicated to me?'

John brought her closer to him, resting his forehead against hers. He was chuckling gently. 'Oh, I think you can rest assured the whole album will be about you, on my part anyway.'

Just as their lips were about to meet, they both heard the door open behind them. It was Jack. He looked upon the scene of John and Anna laughing together with a smile on his face. He met his friends gaze, nodding slightly. 'Alright?'

'Yeah,' John replied, staring into Anna's eyes. 'I think I am.'

'Great because Strallan has just called. They've got us an interview on a local radio station, along with the chance to play two live tracks. Wednesday night. The whole of London will hear us, baby.'

'That's great,' John answered with a smile on his face. 'It really is.'

* * *

'_You watched me bleed until I can't breathe, shaking, falling onto my knees, and now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches..._'

'They sound incredible,' Gwen cooed, clapping her hands together enthusiastically.

Gathered around the radio at John and Anna's flat, Gwen, Ethel, Daisy, Mary, Sybil and Edith were having a girly night in to listen to the band's interview on local radio. The station they were appearing on had a wide audience across the capital. Since the call from Strallan, they had been locked in rehearsals for the show, and the two songs they were performing had been kept strictly between the four of them.

It seemed Anna's words with John had had the desired effect, he seeming a little more enthusiastic about the band and its future. It was going to be difficult and Anna could do nothing to change that, but she knew if John didn't at least give this a try, he would regret it in the future.

'So, that was a cover of Stitches by Shawn Mendes, by the as yet unnamed band just signed to Harry Thompson's record label, Strallan Records,' the DJ announced through applause in the studio. 'That was fantastic lads.'

'Thank you.' Jack's voice came through loud and clear on the radio.

'So, how did the band start out then?'

'Myself and John met working in a music shop in Carnaby Street,' Jack began to explain, the girls sharing smiles amongst themselves as they listened. 'We both soon realised we had a mutual appreciation of the same music, and began to play together. The shop has a stage and we soon had a weekly gig.'

'That shop on Carnaby Street being Cheerful Charlie's,' the DJ added.

'Mr Carson will be happy to get a mention,' Anna remarked with a laugh.

'Correct.' It was John's voice that was the next to be heard.

'So, how did the two of you get to this point? A four piece, just signed to the same record label as Britain's rising star?'

'Performing at my wedding,' John answered, Anna feeling her heart swell as he spoke. 'I didn't know, but one of my wife's relatives works for the record company and after hearing us, he offered us a chance to audition as a two piece.'

'But that didn't work out?' The DJ continued.

'The record company wanted to turn myself and Jack into the next Robson and Jerome,' John explained, causing a ripple of laughter amongst those in the studio and amongst the ladies gathered around the radio. 'And we could never have reached the heights those two did, living in their shadows would have been too much. They wouldn't sign us as a two piece playing instruments, so they suggested we find a bassist and a drummer and return when we had done so. And here we are.'

'So John, you play guitar and keys, as well as sing lead vocals. Jack does the same, Charles sings and plays the bass, and Michael is on the drums. It's unusual in this day and age for a band to have so many vocalists.'

'We think that's what gives a good chance in the business nowadays,' Charles remarked, 'it sets us apart really. We can harmonise which adds a different sound to the type of music we want to make.'

'Well, I must say after hearing that last song, I think you may just have a chance in the most cutthroat of industries. And you're on tour with Harry Thompson in the summer, Michael?'

'Yeah, we are off to Sweden for three months to write and record material for the album, then we're off on Harry's UK tour. He's heard us, and requested we joined him.'

'Wow, that's some praise.'

'It certainly is,' Michael continued, 'we're very excited.'

'Do you have any material prepared or will you be starting from scratch in Sweden?'

'Bits here and there,' Charles answered, 'but we're looking forward to working with the song writers out there in Stockholm.'

'And you are going to perform one song you have written for us now, I understand?'

'Hang on a minute,' Gwen furrowed her brow. 'They don't have any original stuff yet, do they?'

'Dad said he saw Charles and John on occasion huddled around a guitar and a notepad playing something he didn't recognise,' Mary revealed, 'but I've only ever heard them rehearse covers.'

'So, what are you going to play for us?'

Charles' voice came strong and proud through the speakers. 'It's a song to which John wrote the lyrics and I helped him along the way a little. It still needs a bit of work but it's polished enough to perform.'

'It's a wonderful song,' Jack added, 'when they boys played it to myself and Mike, we were amazed.'

'And who was the inspiration for this song, John?'

'She knows who she is,' was John's rather vague response, before he added, 'it will be obvious to those who know me who I wrote this song for.'

'Okay, take it away, I give you the as yet unnamed band, with their original composition, _Love Like Stars_.'

Piano keys filled the air, accompanied by the sound of a guitar gently strumming which soon turned into a unfamiliar melody, all of the girls eager to hear what the John and Charles had come up with. A gentle tap of a drum could be heard next before John's singing voice began to fill the room.

'_Spinning out, spinning out, gravity can't hold me down now. See the future written in the sky. The time is stopped, the world is still. I feel my heartbeat ticking slowly, I catch my breath and hold on to tonight._..'

'Oh my God, Anna,' Daisy gasped, looking at her friend with a beaming smile, 'it's so beautiful. He must have wrote it for you, right?'

'I bloody hope so,' Mary replied without missing a beat, causing those gathered to laugh. All apart from Anna, who was transfixed to the radio, listening to John's every word.

_'Ohh, it starts with the fire, brighter and brighter, we light up the dark, a million sparks. Ohh, exploding desire, higher and higher. We light up the dark, we love like stars_.'

By now, the tempo of the song had picked up. John's voice sounded unlike Anna had heard it as he sang the lyrics he had penned himself, the words that she had inspired him to put together. It felt unlike anything ever had and in that moment, Anna had never been more in love with the man she called her husband.

'_Close your eyes and stay with me. Lay with me inside this moment,I promise you I'd never let you go, Shining now, shining now, you and I we shine like diamonds. A universe only we can know. This is us, I don't ever want the day to break. This is us, we are never gonna fade away. We love like stars. Oh, it starts with the fire...' _

As the song played out, Anna felt a tear roll down her cheek but she didn't care. The song was beautiful, and the fact that John had wrote it about her made her feel like the luckiest woman on the planet to have a husband such as him. She had waited her whole life to find someone who loved her like he did.

'Wow,' Gwen was the first to break the silence that had fallen when the song had finished. 'If John can write songs like that I can't see the band failing.'

'Yeah, but they really need a name,' Sybil said, tapping her chin with her index finger. 'As Yet Unnamed and the Nameless Four really aren't that catchy, are they?'

It was then that Gwen noticed Anna sitting beside her in a trance like state, unable to find any words. 'You alright, Chick?'

'She's overwhelmed, I know I would be if Matthew ever did anything like that for me,' Mary observed before standing up. 'Anyway, I need to be up early in the morning. And seeing as I am the ride for half the people here, let's leave Anna alone shall we? Dylan will probably have her up at the crack of dawn as it is.'

As the rest of the group stood up, Anna followed them to the door. 'Thanks girls, I had a wonderful evening.'

'And I'd wager John is going to have an equally wonderful evening when he comes home, if you get what I mean...'

'Ethel!' Daisy berated her friend, causing Anna to laugh.

'Call me,' Gwen instructed Anna as they embraced. 'I am so happy for you. That was so romantic.'

'It really was,' Anna replied. 'He must surely see that this is his calling if he can write songs like that.'

Squeezing her arm in understanding, Gwen smiled at Anna before following the others out of the flat. Anna closed the door and turned, still in shock. Now she couldn't wait for her talented, remarkable husband to come home.

* * *

John breathed a sigh of relief as the lift doors opened on his floor. All the nerves he had been feeling had dissipated, leaving him feeling exhausted. He was so relieved the radio interview had gone well, even hearing the band's version of Stitches on a later show on the way home. They sounded good, and coupled with his wife's words on the balcony, John was beginning to believe he could do this, and more importantly that he wanted to do this.

Unlocking the front door, John was surprised to see the living room bathed in a soft light. The lamp was on, and in the armchair sat his wife, glass of wine and baby monitor on the coffee table beside her, magazine in hand. Soft music was quietly playing in the background. Anna looked over the top of the publication she was reading, John meeting her gaze before turning slightly to shut the door with a gentle click.

'Evening. I wasn't expecting you to still be up.'

Placing his guitar on the floor as he shrugged out of his coat, John furrowed his brow as Anna crossed the room towards him without a word. Coat now successfully hung on its hook, he was taken aback as Anna wrapped her arms around his shoulders before brushing her lips against his, sucking gently on his bottom lip. The gesture was anything but chaste as she pressed her body tightly to his, looking deeply into his eyes, her warm, uneven breath fluttering against his face. His voice was thick and breathy as he spoke, the contours of Anna's body against his affecting him in ways only she could. Suddenly, John wasn't tired anymore.

'What was that for?'

'The song was beautiful.'

Suddenly, something clicked in John's mind. His lips upturned into a small smile, his half lidded eyes looking down into hers, dark with her own desire. 'I'm glad you liked it.'

'I am only hazarding a guess and I don't mean to make an assumption,' Anna's tone was teasing as she took hold of his hand and lead him to the sofa, 'but I am guessing the song was for me?'

'Every single word,' he whispered. Now sitting, John brought a hand to rest on Anna's shoulder. He knew where this was leading, Anna's demeanour since he had walked through the door made him suspect she was having the same thoughts as his.

No more words were spoken as their lips met once again, John carefully pushing Anna back against the arm of the sofa, the top of his body covering hers. They remained this way for a few moments, enjoying the feel of each other under wandering hands as the kiss they were sharing became more passionate. It hadn't been often since Dylan had been born they had a chance to be together in this way and be able to simply take their time, they were determined not to take it for granted.

'This is nice,' John admitted to Anna, pulling away for a moment to place a kiss upon her neck. She hummed her agreement, her fingers tangling in the locks of his hair. 'Shall we move next door?'

'Why bother?' Anna asked, tugging at his t-shirt and bringing it half way up his back. He sat up then to remove it, Anna groaning at the loss of contact. He was back with her in a second, pressing his bare torso against her still clothed one and resuming their kiss. She ran her hands over John's back, he groaning into her mouth as one came to rest at his bottom, squeezing gently through his jeans.

John lifted his head to look into Anna's eyes, raising one of his eyebrows and smirking at her. 'Can you stop teasing me and get naked already?'

She giggled before complying to his request. A few moments later, both were fully bared to one another, Anna's thighs wrapped around John's hips as they lay on the sofa. They were perfectly aligned and it still took John's breath away as much as it had the first time. There lips were still meeting intermittently as they took their time, savouring every moment together.

'God, I love lying with you like this,' he breathed into her neck, pressing a kiss to the skin there.

'Oh yes.'

'If this is what having a song written about you does for you, I'll try to be a very busy boy whilst I'm out in Stockholm.'

'I can't wait to hear what you come up with,' Anna gasped, John reciprocating the beautiful smile that had brightened up her features.

The music was still playing in the background, John suddenly noticing it as he held Anna's gaze. Her musical interests still baffled him, something modern and clearly auto tuned currently playing, but there was a more pressing issue to attend to. His arousal was pressing against her centre, becoming increasingly hard to ignore. Acknowledging his wife's gentle nod of the head, John wondered if he had even been so in tune with another human being. As he shifted his hips and joined them, he found his answer as the most pleasurable warmth engulfed him. Instantly, both their breathing hitched as John began to move within Anna.

'I thought I'd introduced you to the wonders of Weller,' John whispered into her ear as he moved, a jovial lilt to his words. 'Is he on your iPod?'

'He's on there somewhere,' Anna replied, John unable to avert his gaze from her face as she bit her lip. 'I didn't even realise it was still on. Nice to see I can hold your undivided attention, Mr Bates.'

'Oh no, you are, it's the musician in me I guess. The way you are biting your lip there is very alluring, I must say.' He lowered his gaze. 'Everything about you is alluring.'

'God, John.' Her voice was strained as she spoke, John recognising she was edging closer to her release. He decided to keep on talking, increasing his movements as he did so.

You feel wonderful, Anna.' he lowered a hand to rest on the outside of Anna's thigh, lifting her leg higher causing him to move deeper within her. 'You are so beautiful, you give me the inspiration to write a thousand albums, let alone one song.'

In the next moment, her soft cries were music to John's ears as Anna clung tightly to him, meeting her hips once more with his own then following her over the edge. They remained connected for a while, sharing gentle kisses as they both came down. It was clear neither wanted to move, but as the heat of their love making cooled, John could feel the goosebumps prickling Anna's flesh. As he saw a blanket on the back of the sofa out of the corner of his eye, he happened upon an idea.

'Stand up,' he murmured, leaning back so Anna could do so. He lay back against the sofa, taking the blanket in his hold. Looking up, he met Anna's gaze, holding his hand out to her. 'Lay down.'

She did so, curling her body around his and resting herself upon him, her head upon his chest. He covered them in the blanket, it not taking them long to shift into a position they found comfortable, Anna wrapped in her husband's embrace. John pressed a kiss into Anna's hair, the weariness he had felt when he had initially come home threatening to overtake him once more.

'I am going to miss you so much when you are away,' Anna broke the silence with her hushed tones. 'I'll miss this.'

'I'll miss you too,' he kissed her temple before adding, 'and this as well.'

'Are you sure you are alright about going now? I hope we haven't all forced you into something you don't want. After hearing that song tonight, it's so clear it's what you were born to do.'

'I am sure it's something I want to do, but I'm not sure it's what I was born to do.'

'Don't be modest, you are incredible at what you do...'

'I didn't mean it in that way,' John interrupted, ' what I meant was I was born to be your husband and Dylan's Daddy. The love you both give me inspires me to be better in everything I do. That is the reason why this has happened. I know I wouldn't have found myself in this position had I not met you.'

'You are so wonderful,' Anna pressed herself more closely to John. 'You were My Busker, now you're My Rockstar.'

'Steady on,' John replied with a chuckle. 'One step at a time. But remember no matter what happens, I'll always be your busker.'

* * *

The urge had overtaken him that afternoon, the day before the band were due to leave for Sweden. Watching out of the balcony, the London skyline the backdrop, John had been inspired to go back to his roots, back to the activity that had ignited his love for performing music. His guitar sat invitingly by the window, and John knew he wouldn't be able to resist. Asking Anna if it would be alright, she had laughed at his need to for permission before encouraging him to do what he needed to do. And this was was now where he found himself.

He hadn't returned to his usual place, Waterloo, but instead chose to walk further to the Golden Jubilee Bridge. It was as if he had never been away as he played his favourite songs. Weller, Elton John, The Beatles all well received by those who passed him and left some change in his guitar case. He felt a little uneasy at leaving his case out when someone had asked where they could put their money, but had promised himself to give anything he earned to the armed forces charity at the station.

Some of the best times of his life had been as a result of busking, it had in fact lead to him meeting his wife and in turn becoming a father. And as he finished his penultimate song, deciding the next would be the last before he headed home, it dawned on him that there was a strong possibility he would never be in a position to do this again. Whilst busking, John always had the time of his life, and that notion inspired his next song choice.

_'Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time takes you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this test, and don't ask why, it's not a question, but a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life...' _

A small group of American tourists had stopped to listen, even one of them recording John on his mobile phone. He figured he would be best prepared getting used to such a thing.

_'So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind, hang it on a shelf in good health and good time. Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial. For what it's worth it was worth all the while...'_

When he sang those particular lyrics, he thought of how far he had come. His experiences in the army, Vera. And what he had now. All he had been through had lead to this moment and the man he was now and Anna and Dylan made every traumatic experience worthwhile.

_'It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right,I hope you had the time of your life.'_

He played the interluding notes on his guitar with vigour as he became lost in the song and what he was suddenly realising it was representing. He was moving on to a new chapter and saying goodbye to an old one. What he was about to embark on was frightening, but with the love and support of his family, he knew he could do it. It felt right.

_'It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life.'_ He felt his eyes stinging with tears as he brought the song to its conclusion. _'It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life.' _

A round of applause brought John back to the moment, he nodding in acknowledgement. One of the tourists dropped a two pound coin in the guitar case, John smiling as the image of Anna doing the same as she used to, flooded his mind. Collecting the money and counting them into his pocket, thinking he hadn't lost his touch as his counted fifteen pounds and forty seven pence, John took one last glance over the view.

The sunset looked breathtaking over the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, The London Eye. Packing his guitar away before throwing the case strap over his shoulder, John couldn't help the tune that began to leave him.

_'As long as I gaze over Waterloo Sunset, I am in paradise...' _He stopped singing as something occurred to him, turning back to gaze over the Thames. 'Hang on a minute. Waterloo Sunset.' John began to walk again as he played those two words over in his mind. 'Waterloo Sunset.' He put on the voice of an announcer. 'And that was Waterloo Sunset with their brand new single...' A smile played over his lips. The band still needed a name and it sounded well to him. Would his band mates feel the same?

* * *

Anna moved about the kitchen clearing up breakfast, allowing John the opportunity to get Dylan ready and say goodbye. Friday morning had arrived and John was the last port of call as a record company chartered people carrier picked each member of the band up on its way to Heathrow. She looked over to see his bag by the door, feeling her bottom lip tremble as she realised this was really happening. She was pleased for John, and was glad she had persuaded him to be excited about this but that didn't mean she wasn't going to miss her husband desperately.

Hearing him singing to their son through the still turned on baby monitor, Anna chuckled gently. John really was the most perfect father, and Anna felt her heart swell as she heard Dylan's giggles accompanying John's singing.

'God son, Daddy is going to miss you much,' Anna heard John sigh, she choosing to sit down to listen to what he had to say. 'But Mummy has made him see he has to give this a chance. I can't wait to hopefully be in a position to give you and your Mum the life you deserve. But it's going to involve lots of being apart, and that's why we need to make the time we are together special. And whilst I'm not here, you are the man of the house, Peanut,' Anna laughed as she heard the term of endearment John reserved for their son. 'So you need to look after Mummy, make her smile and give her lots of hugs. Can you do that for me?' Dylan's happy gurgle made her realise John must be tickling his tummy or some such. 'I knew I could rely on you. Now give Daddy a kiss.'

She brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her sob before John appeared at the bedroom door. Anna immediately rose to her feet, walking over to John and Dylan and wrapping the both of them in her embrace.

'You already do give us the life we deserve,' she informed her husband, stroking his cheek and placing a kiss on Dylan's head.

John furrowed his brow. 'You heard all that?'

'The monitor was still on.'

'Ahh, I keep forgetting that,' John answered through a laugh. Anna looked up at him as Dylan reached out for her. 'It's going to be okay.'

'It is,' Anna nodded, unable to further ignore Dylan's attempts to garner her attention and taking him into her arms. She stood back and tried to gather herself. 'Stand up straight, let me look at you.'

John did as he was instructed, even offering Anna a salute. She smiled at that, before burning the image of him as he was now to memory. He'd had his hair cut shorter for the trip and he had gelled it slightly. His face was still sporting a light dusting of stubble, how she had told him she preferred it. He was wearing a red checked shirt, smart jeans, boots and his glasses which he was using more and more recently. Here he was, her Busker.

'Thankfully if things take off, we'll probably be working with stylists.'

They both shared a laugh before Anna took a step closer, shaking her head. 'You look perfect to me. I wouldn't change one hair on your head.'

Just then, John's message alert interrupted their moment. He saw it was Jack, in the group chat they shared with the band.

**The rest of your Waterloo Sunset band mates are waiting downstairs in the car. We love the name, bro. Let's go make some tunes. JR :**)

'Who is it?'

'Jack. The boys loved the name I came up with. Seems we are now called Waterloo Sunset.'

'Great,' Anna offered him a smile, once which she hoped was filled with sincerity. She felt time stop as he turned to face her and Dylan once more. She brushed a spot of lint from his shoulder. 'Go get them, Mr Bates.'

Resting his forehead against hers, John pressed his lips softly to Anna's. 'I will. I love you both, so much.'

'We love you too,' Anna assured him as John stroked Dylan's cheek. 'Now go, before this becomes more difficult than it needs to be.'

'I'll call you when we arrive,' he said as he picked up his bag and his guitar. Anna nodded, unable to speak anymore. They stood in silence for a moment, simply looking at each other before John finally opened the door. With one more glance over his shoulder and a wink in her direction, he stepped out of the flat and out of sight.

Anna heaved a heavy sigh as she sat down on the sofa with Dylan. He was babbling happily, completely unaware of what had just occurred. She couldn't help but look at John's piano, imagining all the times he had played there and how he wouldn't do again for a whole three months. Just as her tears threatened to engulf her, she heard her phone ring. It was Gwen.

'Right, I can tell you're probably about to cry, I have been since Jack left but we need to suck it up.'

'Right,' Anna laughed, bouncing Dylan in her arms. 'So what do you suggest?'

'A trip to the park with little man and the girls then we come back to yours for a sleepover tonight?'

'Sounds great.'

'Lovely, we'll be there in an hour. Love you, Chick.'

'Love you too.'

As she hung up the phone, Anna smiled. She was going to be just fine.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N- Thank you for all your reviews and favourites, they are what drives me to write more, so thank you. **

**This chapter has taken me over a month to write, what with real life and various other things. I have nicked other people's songs, I am sorry for this but as I have said before, I can barely write let alone compose a song. I have just chosen obscure songs I'd have loved for John to have written. **

**Disclaimer-** ABSOLUTELY nothing belongs to me...

* * *

Jack walked into the kitchen of the house the band had been sharing, sitting at the table where Charles and Michael were eating breakfast. He poured himself a glass of orange juice from the jug in the middle of the table before furrowing his brow.

'Where's John?'

Charles regarded his band mate over the top of his newspaper. 'I saw him heading into the gym with his headphones on about half an hour ago.'

'What, again?' Jack shook his head as he took a sip of his drink. 'He's in there more than me. Mind you, he needs to work hard to be as ripped as I am.'

Looking to Michael behind his paper, Charles rolled his eyes. Waterloo Sunset had been in Sweden for a little over a month. The house, a huge villa on the outskirts of Stockholm, was twenty minutes drive from the studio where the band had been testing themselves to the limit. The record company had secured the use of a car for the band to ferry themselves between their base and the studio. Usually used as accommodation for tourists, the house had ten bedrooms, three bathrooms, a sizeable living area, as well as a fully working gym with treadmill, weights and a rowing machine.

On the music side, the first album was progressing well, in the few weeks they had been in Scandinavia the band already had five songs written and recorded, they doing very little else but making music. Lars Karlsson, their producer was extremely talented at his craft and his input had been invaluable.

Their relationship with the songwriters was still growing, but John and Charles were finding they didn't need any assistance, forming a creative bond with each other that wasn't forced. Jack made sure he put across his own ideas as well, meaning there was an eclectic mix of material being made. Michael was more than happy to sit back and allow the other three to do their thing on the lyrical side of proceedings, although was heavily involved on melody and music.

'Ahh, here he is. Straight from training for Strongman Of The Year.'

'Haha,' John slapped Jack playfully around the back of his head as he moved towards the fridge, opening it and pulling out a bottle of water.

'You're getting buff, John,' Michael remarked before taking a bite of his toast thickly covered in marmalade, 'putting the rest of us to shame.'

'Not me,' Jack patted his stomach. 'Abs of steel.'

John opened his bottle of water. 'I've lost nearly one stone whilst I've been here and I'm toning up on my arms and legs. I haven't used the gym this regularly since the army.'

'That's great and all,' Charles replied, meeting John's gaze as he brought the bottle to his lips, 'but you can't go to the studio like that. We're leaving in twenty minutes.'

Looking down, with a mouthful of water, John took in his appearance. His t -shirt was drenched and he could feel his hair flopping over his sweaty brow. 'Alright Charles. I'll have a quick shower before we go.'

Fifteen minutes later, John was freshly showered and dressed. Hearing a vibration coming from the bedside table, he felt his heartbeat quicken as Anna's name flashed up on his phone screen. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he opened up the message and instantly smiled as he saw a picture of Dylan and Anna, ready to go out. Now it was June, Dylan had a little cap on, John smiling knowing probably a second after the photo was taken he had probably thrown the hat off his head.

**Hi Daddy. We're off to feed the ducks, wish you were here with us but hope you are having fun. Mummy will call you later. We love you x**

Releasing a small laugh having read the text, John lifted his head to look out of the window and sighed. He was missing his wife and son, there was no getting away from that fact. He tried to stop himself thinking of the firsts he was missing with Dylan, he would drive himself crazy if he didn't. Anna had sent him videos of Dylan crawling and playing with his toy piano but it just wasn't the same.

Coupled with being away from his son, John would also be missing his first Father's Day. It had been something he and Anna had realised pretty early on, and both had promised they would celebrate it when John returned home. The event would be occurring this Sunday, and John had asked his band mates if they could keep busy as they only had the studio for a couple of hours, all three understanding and suggesting they go on a day trip into Stockholm.

As for his wife, not only did he miss the physical side of their relationship, he also missed just having her there to talk to. Not only was Anna his wife, she was his best friend as well. She was only a phone call away, but that was small consolation to having her with him.

However, the way he was feeling meant his muse was burning brightly. It wasn't difficult to write songs when Anna and Dylan were your inspiration. John had to admit he was enjoying the whole process. It was a completely different feeling to play a song you yourself had created. He couldn't wait to see the look on his wife's face when she heard the songs for the first time.

'John, lets go'

Looking over his shoulder upon hearing Jack's voice calling from downstairs, John stood and collected the two guitars he had been using. Throwing one over his shoulder, and holding the other in his hand, he turned off the bedroom light and left.

* * *

Summer had finally arrived, and part of the plan to keep missing the boys to a minimum, the girls they had left behind were keeping busy. Edith and Jenny, Charles's girlfriend, had become close to Anna and Gwen, the four seeing each other as kindred spirits being the significant others of the men in the band. Anna's two other best friends, Ethel and Daisy, plus Mary and Sybil had joined them for a picnic in the sun.

After they had eaten, George, Mary's son and a now nine month old Dylan were happily playing together whilst Mary spoke about what she had brought for George to give his father on Father's Day. Edith noticed Anna bow her head as her elder sister spoke, listening to her and feeling incredibly embarrassed.

'Right, well we can't sit here gallivanting all day,' Mary rose to her feet.

'Oh, that's a shame,' Gwen said under her breath, still not totally enamoured with Mary and the relationship she shared with Anna.

'Come on, Sybil,' Mary continued, having not heard Gwen or choosing to ignore her.

'Where are you two going?' Edith asked her sisters, feeling rather left out.

'Did you not ask Edith, Mary?' Sybil placed her hands on her hips. Mary was lifting George into her arms, trying to act nonchalant.

'Ask me what?'

'We're dropping George off with Matthew in town then going to see the new Gerard Butler flick.'

'No, she did not,' Edith replied in an incredulous tone.

'Awkward,' Ethel whispered to Daisy, Gwen and Anna, Jenny looking like she'd rather be anywhere else in that moment.

'Come,' Sybil encouraged, placing a hand on Edith's shoulder.

'No, no. Mary obviously doesn't want me there so you carry on.'

Mary exhaled a deep breath. 'It's not that I don't want you there, its that I forgot to ask you. Are you coming or not?' Edith didn't answer, turning her back on Mary. Mary rolled her eyes. 'Come on, Sybil. See you girls later.'

As Mary, Sybil and George moved into the distance, Gwen noticed Anna appeared slightly downcast. 'What's up, Chick?'

'Oh, it's silly really. Mary talking about George and Matthew then reminded me John is going to miss his first father's day with Dylan.'

Edith was shaking her head. 'I knew it. Mary can be so insensitive sometimes.'

'Are you sure you and Sybil are related to her?' Daisy joked, causing the other women to begin laughing.

'You know, maybe there is a way John and Dylan can be together for Father's Day.' All eyes were trained in on Gwen as she spoke. 'They've been gone almost six weeks, we're all missing them. They're missing us. Why don't we go?'

'I'd be up for that,' Jenny said, nodding her head.

'Me too,' Edith was agreeing, 'I'm owed some time off work as it is.'

'Can we come?' Daisy was asking, gesturing towards Ethel. 'You know how much we love a trip away.'

'Alright,' Gwen smiled before turning her attentions to her best friend. 'Anna?'

She looked at Dylan, playing on the rug without a care in the world. It wouldn't matter to him, but she remembered the expression on John's face when he realised what day they would be missing. And then she thought about his smile upon seeing them turn up out of the blue, ready to celebrate together. It wasn't a difficult decision.

'Okay, let's do it.'

* * *

Back at the flat, Gwen searched through different websites that offered cheap, last minute flights on Anna's laptop. Edith had said they could use her credit card seeing as she was doing quite well for herself down in London, and had given the details to Gwen. Dylan was having a nap, and Anna had excused herself to use the bathroom. She had been quite a while, Gwen was growing increasingly concerned.

Anna appeared, looking the worse for wear as she collapsed into John's armchair. Gwen carried on staring at the screen in front of her. 'There we go. Flights from Heathrow to Stockholm, seventy pound return. We won't need a hotel, that house which sounds more like a mansion has ten bedrooms and I'm sure we'll share with our men.'

'Uh huh,' Anna answered, none too enthusiastically. She had her hand over her eyes, her head leant back against the back of the chair.

'You alright?'

'I just threw up.'

'Nice. Something you ate? Mary's potato salad looked a little bit suspect if you ask me…'

Anna launched a pillow in Gwen's direction. 'Don't be so mean. And I don't think so. I've been feeling a bit off the past couple of days. Think it's the stress with missing John.'

'Well, you won't have to worry about that in a couple of days because,' Gwen stopped as she clicked the mouse a couple of times. 'We are going to Stockholm, baby.'

'Excellent.'

* * *

Leaning forward over his guitar, John tapped his lip with the pen he was holding as he stared at words he had already written on his notepad. He was sitting in the back garden of the villa, working on a song that the band has started writing. It was Saturday, the rest of the band were watching football in the living room. John hadn't fancied joining them, deciding to try and make the most of working whilst the motivation was with him.

'_We survived the crash, made it through the wreckage, standing here at last, so perfectly written…' _

John sang the end of the first verse he had written with Charles and Jack, wanting to create something that described the hardships he and Anna had experienced together, with Dylan and everything they went through. However now, here they were, standing strong together.

'_Where we are, is we're supposed to be, where we are keeps the breath in me…'_

'Thought you were still in the gym…'

Peering over his shoulder, John saw Charles walking towards him. 'Alright mate?'

'Yeah,' Charles ran a hand through his hair. 'Had my fill of Michael trying to explain the rules of football to Jack.'

'Ahh, I don't blame you,' John dropped the pen on top of the note pad as Charles joined him at the table. He strummed his guitar a couple of times before turning his head to look at his band mate. 'You'd have thought he'd have the hang of it by now.'

Charles nodded, softly laughing as he looked out over the garden. 'Well, at least he's stopped calling it soccer now. That sounded good, what you just sang. Have you finally got the end of the verse down?'

'Think so, just another verse to go now.'

'Well, once you have the first you have a template for the second.' Charles leant forward in his chair, looking at the notepad. 'Go on, give me the verse then we can sing the chorus together.'

Sitting up straight in his chair, John released a breath before playing the first few notes of the sketchy music they had written.

'_Stay, stay where you are. Don't let me go, don't let me go, we've made it this far. Ohh, stop, stop right there. Don't walk away, don't walk away. Into thin air. We survived the crash, made it through the wreckage. Standing here at last. So perfectly written…'_

'That's brilliant,' Charles enthused, patting John on the back. 'Really good.'

'Thanks,' John replied rather bashfully before launching into the chorus, Charles joining in after the first line.

'_Now where we are, is where were suppose to be. Where we are, keeps the breath in me. Where we've been, we've risen from the deep. We're where no one can tear us apart. That's where we are…'_

'It's sounding really good,' Charles remarked, pointing at the notepad.

'Rising from the deep, surviving crashes,' John mused. 'It's lucky we've got the up tempo tracks Jack has been working on or this album would be gloomy as hell.'

'Hey John, Char, come and look at this…'

Exchanging puzzled expressions upon hearing Jack's rather excited tone, John and Charles rose to their feet and walked back inside. John followed his band mate, and what he saw upon arriving in the living room completely took his breath away. As Charles greeted Jenny, Michael and Edith said their hello's, Jack twirled Gwen around in his arms and Daisy and Ethel looked on, John's eyes locked on Anna's. He couldn't believe it. She was here, holding their son in her arms.

'Hi.'

Her voice was breaking as she began to move towards him, yet her face possessed the most breathtaking smile he had ever seen. Dylan was happily babbling in her arms, and in that moment John suddenly realised how difficult the past few weeks had been.

'Hello,' he whispered now they were standing in front of him, John moving to softly place his forehead against Anna's. She closed her eyes at the contact, John unable to resist pressing a kiss to her lips. They were interrupted by Dylan taking hold of his father's shirt in his chubby little hand, a squeal leaving him. 'Sorry mate, is Daddy ignoring you?' He took the boy into his arms, before regarding his wife with a raised eyebrow. 'What are you doing here?'

'Oh, that's very nice,' Anna teased, resting her hand on John's cheek. 'We were all missing the lot of you, it was Gwen's idea to come over. So you could spend your first father's day with your Dylan.'

John lifted his head to look over at Gwen, who was too wrapped up in Jack to notice anything else. 'Well, it was a wonderful idea. I am so pleased to see you both.'

'Look, myself and Daisy will go and have a look around whilst you guys get reacquainted,' Ethel suggested, nudging her friend in the ribs with her elbow as she looked on teary eyed at the reuniting couples. 'Our bags are by the front door. Just put them in whichever room is free and preferably away from you lot. I don't want to be kept up all night with the noises that will inevitably be coming from you lot.'

'Ethel,' Daisy chided as her friend left the room. With all eyes on her, she made to follow Ethel. 'I'm sorry about her, she should really think before she speaks.'

'Daisy!' Ethel's shrill echoed from the hallway.

'See you later.'

* * *

'This place is huge,' Anna enthused as she rejoined Dylan and John in his room. They had retrieved a travel cot from one of the rooms, the villa usually being a holiday home, and had placed it in the adjoining room to John's. Dylan was sitting on the bed with his father as Anna busied herself around them, unpacking and taking in her surroundings. 'You must be having a great time.'

'I am,' John nodded, watching Dylan who was lying in the middle of the bed gently beginning to fall into slumber, clutching on to his comforter. 'I never knew there was a songwriter inside of me until I was given this opportunity. What with you and everything that's happened for inspiration, I now can't seem to stop writing.'

'How many songs have you finished?'

'About five completely, with another ten or so in the process of being written.'

'You must be very busy, what with creating the next big hit and visiting the gym what must be twice a day.'

Lifting his head, John sat up straight now Dylan was fast asleep. 'What do you mean? Have you been talking to Jack?'

'No. I noticed as soon as I saw you, I am your wife after all,' Anna replied, placing a blouse onto a coat hanger as she spoke. 'You're looking more trim round the middle.'

Standing up, John walked towards Anna. 'I didn't realise it was that obvious.'

After hanging up the blouse in the wardrobe, Anna wrapped her hands around one of John's biceps and squeezed gently. 'Hmm, very nice Mr Bates. Not that I didn't love you how you were before, you'll be turning into my superman rather than My Busker.'

'I'm not sure about that. I'll always be your busker. No matter what.'

'So you have been working out, then?' Anna asked, moving away from John to carry on with her task.

'Well, it's the only physical exercise I've been able to get whilst I've been over here, if you get what I mean.'

Looking over her shoulder, Anna felt herself flush as she saw the smirk on John's face and the dark glint in his eye. She knew exactly what he meant.

'You know, Dylan will probably be out for a couple of hours now. We can't in here because he's asleep on the bed, but there was a double bed next door with the crib and…'

Placing a hand on her hip to bring Anna closer, once she was next to him John wrapped his arms around her waist. 'What are you suggesting, Mrs Bates?'

Raising her eyebrows, Anna leant up on her tiptoes to bring her lips to John's.

'Knock, knock.' Jumping apart, Anna looked to her right to see Ethel standing at the door. She quickly brought her finger to her lips. 'Ooops, not interrupting I hope.'

'Keep it down will you, Dylan's asleep.'

'Me and Daisy are going to the local supermarket, Charles said there was one a five minute drive away and he's going to take us. Would you like a big dinner tonight to celebrate our arrival?'

'Sounds lovely,' John replied as he sat back down on the bed next to his sleeping son. He looked up at Anna. 'Darling?'

'Perfect,' Anna agreed, reaching for her bag. 'Do you want any money?'

'We'll sort it later,' Ethel stepped out of the room. 'Wouldn't want to keep you from whatever it was you were about to do.'

The door closed swiftly, John offering Anna an annoyed glance as she tried to stifle her giggles. 'That friend of yours is like a giant, walking, talking contraceptive.'

Shocked a little at his words considering what Anna was beginning to believe her sickness was down to, she turned and began to arrange her toiletries on the dresser. 'Maybe we should wait until this evening, before getting reacquainted. If she had walked in a few minutes later it could have been awkward.'

'Can't resist me, eh?' John replied as he reclined back on the bed and closed his eyes.

Anna sighed deeply and looked over at the sight of her husband next to their sleeping son. 'Yeah, something like that.'

* * *

The weather was pleasant as the reunited friends sat on the decking outside the villa. Ethel and Daisy had been busy creating a feast for everyone, and with the food now eaten, talk had turned to how the band's album was progressing.

'So, which song is dedicated to me?' Ethel asked as she filled everyone's glass with the white wine they were sharing.

'Well, we were thinking of doing a cover of Devil Woman,' Charles joked, causing those gathered to laugh, all except Ethel who offered him a cold stare in response.

'Look at all four of you loved up,' Daisy cooed, looking around at her company. Gwen was sitting on Jack's lap, Jenny was on the floor beside Charles, an arm wrapped around his leg, Edith and Michael were sitting very closely indeed and John had his arm draped around Anna as they sat beside each other. 'I bet it's going to be an album filled with orchestra driven ballads.'

'No, not at all,' Charles protested, 'yes a lot of the songs are about our significant others but love songs can be up tempo numbers as well.'

'Don't worry ladies, I am making sure there are some tracks on there you can get up and rock out to,' Jack explained, 'it's John's offerings that, although are wonderfully crafted, you'll need a packet of tissues to get through.'

'Not all of them,' John shifted uncomfortably in his chair, looking at Anna out of the corner of his eye.

'It's alright buddy,' Jack tapped his friend on the shoulder. 'You just haven't got it in you to write a toe tapper. Yours are more of a sway along to, which is no bad thing.'

'I bet you any money you like I can write an up tempo song for this album.'

'Don't listen to him, John. You are a fine musician and song writer,' Charles began to defend his creative partner before Gwen interrupted.

'Who actually cares?' she groaned, tightening her grip around Jack's shoulders. 'It's been weeks since I've seen my boyfriend and to put it bluntly, I'm gagging for it. Isn't everyone?'

Smirks were shared between each reunited couple, all except Michael and Edith, she displaying a shade of crimson upon her cheeks. This hadn't gone unnoticed by Ethel, who kept up her tradition of talking now, and thinking later.

'Oh my God, you two haven't slept together yet…'

'Ethel,' Anna gently chided her friend. 'I don't really think that's any of your business.'

'Says you, it took you and John weeks to even kiss, let alone get it on.'

'Ethel.' Now it was John's turn to snap. 'Whatever Edith and Michael do is up to them, and whatever myself and Anna do or have done in the past is between us and no one else.'

'I think we'll go to bed,' Jenny announced, Charles standing behind her with his hand entwined with hers, both seeming a little embarrassed.

'Night all,' Charles said jovially, lifting his eyebrows in Jack and Gwen's direction, an indication of the sort of evening he was expecting for himself.

Ethel released what seemed to be a frustrated grown, before downing the rest of her wine in one. 'Daisy, do you fancy heading into town to see what the local nightclubs have to offer? You know, seeing as we have no one to be gagging for it, with.'

'I suppose so,' Daisy dragged herself to her feet. 'Go and see if we can bag ourselves a Sven, Hans or even a Kristoff.'

As they walked away, Ethel could be heard telling her friend her _Frozen _obsession was getting out of hand, causing those left on the decking to fall into laughter.

'Right then you,' Gwen's gaze was trained in on Jack as she rose to stand. Her tone was sultry as she spoke. 'We've got some catching up to do. Are you coming?'

'I don't need to be asked twice.'

Without speaking another word, the rather enamoured couple disappeared inside leaving John, Anna, Michael and Edith outside. Anna was shaking her head as she leant forward, running a hand through her hair.

'She really is something else, that best friend of mine.'

'And Ethel,' Edith added with a chuckle.

'Oh, I certainly know how to pick them,' Anna replied, looking back over her shoulder at her husband. She lifted her eyebrows. 'Shall we?'

Nodding, John allowed Anna to stand first and allowed her to walk inside. John stopped to regard his band mate and his new girlfriend. He offered them a knowing smile as he leant down to take some of the empty glasses from the table. 'The last ones to go to bed. There's no pressure then. Enjoy your night.'

* * *

Silence filled the room as John and Anna revelled in being beside each other in bed once more. After checking on their son, who was sound asleep, Anna had joined John in the king size bed he had called his own for six weeks now. But no bed would truly be his unless he shared it with his wife.

'So how is it going really?' Anna asked him, her head resting on his chest, her fingers tangling in the hair she found there. God, how he had missed this. His hand was making small circles at the base of her spine, his touch having found it's way under the blouse of her pyjamas. 'The song writing I mean.'

'Good. Really good. The producer we are working with says he can't believe this is my first time writing anything.'

'But it bothered you earlier when Jack said you couldn't write up tempo.'

'Ahh, not really,' John pinched the bridge of his nose. 'We've got him to do that for us. It's just when you're so in love with someone, like I am with you, all that fills my head is violins and heartfelt lyrics.'

'You say I'm your muse, and that flatters me more than you'll know. But what about using one of the times we've been silly together as your inspiration? Like with the reindeer antlers on the South Bank…'

'I think we're a bit early to be writing this years Christmas Number One.'

'Alright, how about when Dylan had first come home, I was feeling a little overwhelmed with everything and you told me to put my feet up, you'd deal with Dylan and you cooked me a meal.'

John smiled as the memory filled his mind. 'And we ended up dancing around the room to _I Second That Emotion _by Smokey and The Miracles.' He could feel the vibrations of Anna giggling beside him, he joining her in his own laughter. 'I felt such a fool. I couldn't keep up with you though. You were always a step ahead.'

'That was the alcohol you were plying me with, my favourite red if memory serves.'

'It worked though, it cheered you up didn't it?'

'It certainly did, your dance moves were extremely amusing. It's one of my favourite memories.'

'Mine too,' John admitted, silently wondering in his head what the song writer in him could do with a such a special moment they had shared.

'Anyway, am I allowed a sneak preview of one of these songs you have been writing?'

'Hmm, I don't know.' John was teasing, Anna knew as he tightened his hold on her beside him. 'You've already heard _Love Like Stars_.'

'Oh please. For me?'

John released a breath before pressing a kiss to Anna's temple. 'Oh alright, for you. Charles wrote this with me.' Aware of their sleeping son next door, John softly began to breathe the lyrics to a song they had finished recording just the day before. Anna closed her eyes as his hushed tones reached her ears, feeling every word as they left her husband.

'_It's not a spark that gives me life. It's not the days I'm up all night. Isn't a story I have read or a picture in my head. Its not the world that pulls me through, wasn't a question before I knew. It's just an answer here by my side. I found it out just in time. Its you. It's you. It's you. Give me your hurt if your feeling pain, tell me your secrets, I'll keep them safe. Give me your love mixed with sin, every part of every thing. It's you. It's you. It's you…'_

She silenced him by covering his mouth with her own, the pure poetry that had fallen from his lips touching every part of her soul. Anna loved the way John loved her, loved the way he put into words how deep the feelings he held for her went. No more words were spoken. None were needed. As they became one after so long apart, Anna was once again reminded she had found her soul mate.

* * *

Out on the balcony that was attached to his room, John was scribbling furiously in his notepad, the early morning sun beating down. It was Sunday morning, the day after the girls had arrived and Father's Day. Having never been a massive sleeper, John had risen early.

The memory Anna had fuelled him with had sent his creative spark into overdrive. With his guitar under his arm, in a little over two hours he had written two verses and a chorus he hoped would get even Jack's toe tapping. He had tried to create his song with the spirit of Smokey Robinson his guide. As he looked back over his lyrics and notes of ideas for melody and the instruments they could use, he thought he might have just cracked it.

'There you are.' Anna's voice startled him, John quickly closing his notepad and placing his guitar on the floor beside him. 'What are you up to?'

'Nothing.' John realised he had replied rather too quickly as he turned to see the expression of confusion on Anna's face. Dylan was in her arms, and she was clutching a gift bag. He tried to change the subject. 'Hello Peanut.'

'Good morning Daddy,' Anna handed their son over to his father, John placing a kiss on the top of his head. 'Happy Father's Day.'

'Well, those are three words I never thought I'd hear directed my way.'

John opened his presents, each one had been carefully picked and thought through by his beautiful wife, with a little input from Dylan, she insisted. A plectrum, with the words '#1 Daddy' on it had been a particular highlight. The usual socks and key ring had been gratefully received, as well as a framed picture of Anna and Dylan taken at the picnic a few days before.

They shared breakfast in private on the balcony, sharing some time as a family before the boys had to go to the studio for a couple of hours. However half way through Anna had had to excuse herself. The sickness she thought had passed was back with a vengeance. Rejoining her family, Anna slumped down in the chair opposite John and Dylan.

'You alright?' he asked her, his face etched in concern.

'Yeah, I always have an upset tummy on my first day in a foreign country,' Anna tried to brush away his fears. 'It's nothing.'

But she was increasingly coming to believe it was more than nothing. And as she watched her husband and their son sharing a moment together, Anna wondered how John would feel if she told him their family was extending.

* * *

Once in the studio, John was like a whirlwind. His band mates looked on agog as he told the producer about his latest creation and what he needed to make it sound the way he had imagined in his mind.

'I want a brass section, I want backing singers, I want…'

'Hold your horses, Beyonce,' Jack interrupted him. He pointed at Charles. 'Before you continue your list of demands, we are your backing singers.'

'Right,' John conceded Jack had a point, his enthusiasm had gotten the better of him. 'But I have a particular way in my head I want this to sound.'

'How do you want it to sound?' Lars asked as he scanned the lyrics and John's notes. 'A brass section is pushing the boat out a little, don't you think?'

'I want it to sound upbeat. Catchy. Motown.'

'Motown?' Charles choked out a laugh, Michael shaking his head in disbelief. 'We're four newly professional musicians trying to make our first album. Let's not aim too high, eh?'

'Why not?' John snatched his notepad from the producer. 'You guys had to convince me to do this album. Now I'm having to convince you to make it the best we possibly can? Come on lads. Trust me.'

Jack took the notepad from John's hands, looking over the page which was filled with his handwriting. His brow was creased in concentration as he read the lyrics. 'Smokey and The Miracles?'

'Yeah, everyone loves a little bit of Smokey.'

Nodding, Jack looked up to meet John's gaze. 'Is this about you and Anna?'

'It might be,' he answered with a shrug. 'What does it matter?'

'I just refuse to believe you rocked out, as you put it here. A gentle sway maybe, but rocking out. No.'

'Damn it, Jack. Can I sing this to you guys or not? At least don't knock it until you've heard it.'

'The lyrics are actually pretty good,' Jack admitted as he passed the pad to Michael and Charles. 'Come on then Gordy Berry. Let's hear it.'

* * *

Gwen wandered into the living room of the villa, joining Anna as she fed Dylan his lunch in his highchair. Edith and Jenny had popped into the local town to do a bit of shopping, Daisy and Ethel still hadn't surfaced following their night out. Anna knew she looked awful, and as Gwen reclined on the sofa beside her, she was waiting for her to ask what was wrong.

'What's up, Chick?'

Like clockwork. 'I can't stop being sick.'

'Ewww,' Gwen shuffled away from her friend a little. 'Is it that bug you had again?'

'That's just it, I don't think it's a bug.'

'What is it then? We did cook the chicken thoroughly last night…'

'I'm late. I mean, I'm never regular but I am late.'

'I see,' Gwen edged a little closer to her friend once more, stroking Dylan's arm as he babbled happily in his chair. 'And how do you feel about that?'

'I don't know,' Anna shook her head. 'We had such a time when Dyl was born. I don't even know if I can carry a baby to term this time.'

'Well, lets cross that bridge when we come to it. Given your history, I'm sure they'll want to keep a close eye on you.'

'Perhaps.'

'Right.' Gwen stood up abruptly.

'Where are you going?'

'I'm going to get you a test. There was a pharmacy up the road that I saw when we drove in. I won't be a tick.'

'Alright, and Gwen.' Gwen stopped to look over her shoulder. 'Get some painkillers too. Ethel and Daisy are bound to be hanging when they finally show themselves. '

* * *

It was positive.

Anna had needed a bit of time to get her head around it all. Even though she had suspected, it was a completely different situation knowing she was pregnant. Gwen had watched Dylan whilst Anna went to lie down, and had offered to do so whilst Anna told John her news.

It had seemed to take an eternity for the guys to come home from their studio session, but when they had done Anna hadn't been able to take her eyes off John. All four of them were completely enthused about something they had done at the studio, but Anna had let that all wash over her. John noticed she wasn't quite in the room so to speak, so had moved to kneel beside her.

'Are you alright, my love?'

'We need to talk,' had been her rather vague reply, Gwen had luckily overheard.

'Go and take a walk, I'll watch the boy for you.' Anna looked over at Dylan who was quite content on Edith's knee.

'There's a river not too far from here, I'd love to show it to you.' John smiled warmly at his wife, she nodding in response. He held out his hand for her to take, which she gratefully did. They left the villa unnoticed, once outside walking in silence as John lead her to the path that would take them to the river.

'It's been lovely having you and Dylan here,' John said to break the silence. 'I've missed you both so much it actually hurt at times.'

Anna rubbed a hand soothingly up and down John's forearm. 'We missed you too. It has felt odd not having you at home.'

Something suddenly occurred to Anna as she saw a bench in the distance. This situation almost mirrored when she had revealed to John she was expecting Dylan, except this time she hoped her news would be more welcome.

'Shall we sit?' Anna asked, gesturing towards the seat they had now reached. John nodded, allowing his wife to sit first.

'Anna, what's going on?'

She inhaled a deep breath. 'Alright, I'm just going to tell you.'

'Okay…'

'I'm pregnant.'

Her revelation hung in the air as John tried to process it. She chanced a glance at his face, for a split second that felt like a eternity his expression was unreadable. That was until his lips upturned into one of the most beautiful smiles Anna had ever seen John offer her.

'Oh Anna,' he whispered, taking her into his arms. 'That's wonderful.'

'Really?'

'It's the best news I've had since you told me about Dylan.' Pulling away, John rested a hand on Anna's cheek. 'You're okay about it?'

'Yes, I am. But I'm a little apprehensive because of…' her voice trailed away, but John thought he knew what was bothering her.

'Because of what happened with Dylan?'

'Yeah.'

'Well, just make sure when you get home you go straight to the doctors. They'll take what happened into account, surely.'

'I'm sure they will,' Anna agreed, feeling slightly reassured now she had seen John's reaction to the news. 'You're sure you're happy, though?'

He didn't answer her with words, choosing instead to press his lips to hers, a gentle kiss that left Anna in no doubt that John was over the moon to be becoming a father once more. Left her in no doubt of his love and devotion to her and their family.

And all at once, she felt like the luckiest woman in the world. How very lucky she was.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N- Long delay in updating, apologies to those who had been following this story. Thanks for your reviews and follows. Song in here isn't mine but someone elses. Sorry 'bout that.**

**Merry Christmas, have a good one.**

**Disclaimer**\- Same as chapters 1 - 33...

* * *

Anna was still sleeping, but John hadn't slept a wink. He just couldn't believe the path his life had taken since he had met the woman by his side. He was a husband to the love of his life, father to a beautiful son which he never believed would happen to him, and now he and Anna were expecting another child. Dylan's arrival was a miracle in itself, but to be a father of two, and to be able to give that to Anna, it was more than John had ever thought possible.

When she had told him, John had tried to tell Anna he would come home, give up on this musical adventure because now she needed him more than ever. But Anna wouldn't hear a word of it. From what she'd heard since she'd been in Sweden, it sounded like all four men were having the time of their life, even John. She would manage, they would manage.

Their conversation carried on long into the night. Having already done some research, Anna had read about a procedure for expectant mothers who had experienced the troubles she had with Dylan. An appointment had already been scheduled for when Anna and Dylan returned, and Gwen had promised to be on call until John had finished in Stockholm. Anna had thought of everything.

'I've missed waking up beside you,' Anna murmured, her voice filled with sleep.

'When you say things like that, it doesn't make it any easier not to come home, you know.'

'Don't even think about it, Bates.' John felt her stretch beside him then, a yawn escaping her as well. 'What time did we finally fall asleep last night?'

'You dropped off about half past two, I on the other hand am not entirely sure I did sleep.'

'I have no idea how you do it.'

John placed a hand on Anna's stomach. 'I'm used to it. Besides, I'll probably be your best friend when the time comes around again.'

'That's true.'

'What time is it?'

Turning slightly, John reached for his watch on the bedside table. 'Half seven.'

'And Dylan is still asleep?'

'He is.'

Anna sighed wistfully. 'We go home this evening.'

John hadn't wanted to think about that. 'I know.'

'So…' Anna's hand found it's way to rest on John's cheek. 'We should make the most of our son's lie in.'

Lifting his eyebrows, John brushed his lips against Anna's. 'We should.'

As his hand moved lower to rest on Anna's hip and he pulled her closer, the unmistakable sound of Dylan whimpering came through loud and clear on the baby monitor. John groaned whilst Anna began to giggle, burying her head in the crook of John's neck.

'It's as if he knows.'

'To be fair he's usually been awake for an hour by now,' Anna said in the boy's defence, moving aside so John could get out of bed. He began to cross the room towards the adjoining room's door. 'Bring him in here, I'd like a little cuddle with my two boys before breakfast.'

'How can I refuse?'

* * *

This was going to be hard, John knew that but he had to clench his jaw as he watched the girls load the boot of the taxis taking them to the airport. Standing in the doorway he held a contented Dylan, completely unaware that he was about to be separated from his Daddy for another eight weeks.

'You alright?' Charles asked as he stepped outside to stand next to John.

John cleared his throat. 'Not really.'

'It won't be long,' Charles remarked, gently stroking Dylan's arm.

'Any time I'm away from them is too long.' Exhaling deeply, John turned his head to look at Charles. 'Sorry, I'm probably sounding like a giant sap.'

Shaking his head, Charles moved a little further forward, the gravel of the driveway crunching beneath his feet. 'Not at all. I'm going to say goodbye to Jenny.'

As he looked up, John saw Anna walking towards him, the cars suitably loaded with the luggage. She was smiling, but John could see the shimmering of tears in her eyes.

'We need to go or we'll miss our flight.'

'Yep,' John managed to choke, clutching on to Dylan a little tighter. He held Anna's gaze. 'Thank you so much for bringing him out here for our first father's day. It has meant everything.'

'I couldn't let you miss it,' Anna replied, brushing a piece of lint from John's shirt. 'The number one Daddy in the world should be with his son on Father's Day.'

'I'm going to miss you so much.' John stepped a little closer to Anna so he could whisper in her ear, holding Dylan in one arm so he could place a hand on Anna's stomach. 'All three of you.'

Anna didn't answer with words, instead choosing to meet John's lips with her own. She deepened the kiss, their current surroundings be damned. This man who had spoken such beautiful words to her was her husband, and she was about to be separated from him for another eight weeks.

'We'll miss you too,' she breathed against his lips. 'But we'll be waiting for you.'

Anna reached out for Dylan then, John pressing a kiss to his head before passing him to his wife. 'Goodbye Peanut, look after Mummy for me.'

'He's been doing a grand job so far,' Anna remarked, holding Dylan tightly to her. Anna rested a hand on John's wrist, looking deeply into his eyes. 'I love you.'

'I love you, too.'

'Come on, Anna. Before this gets even more difficult.'

Gwen's broken voice from across the driveway broke the moment between Anna and John, she reluctantly moving backwards, before turning on her heel and walking to the car. She didn't look back. Her emotions would have overtaken her if she had done that.

Jack, Charles and Michael joined John at the door, all four men standing in silence as they watched their loved ones drive away. The sound of the engines starting echoed in the silence, before the crunching of gravel. They remained quiet as the cars moved further down the drive, until they turned left and out of sight.

'Well, this sucks,' Jack said finally, no one moving from their position still staring straight ahead.

Michael shrugged. 'This is what it's going to be like. If things take off. Painful goodbyes.'

'I've had too many easy goodbyes in my life,' Charles said, 'in a way it means life is going in the right direction to finally have to face hard ones.'

'John, you okay?' Jack asked his band mate, the elder statesman of the band still silent.

'No,' he said, turning to face the men stood beside him. 'But I will be. Come on lads, lets go and have a jam. We haven't done that in ages.'

'What a great idea,' Jack enthused, following John inside. 'Can I use the foot drum?'

* * *

Leaning over his guitar, John scribbled something down on his notepad. After their session playing together, Michael and Jack had been embroiled in some game on the computer console in the living room whilst Charles had decided to hit the gym. John found himself suddenly inspired by the news Anna had brought with her, and had decided to get some ideas down whilst the muse was with him. In a couple of hours, those ideas had turned into three quarters of a song.

Gently strumming his guitar, John sang softly as he looked at the words he had written down on his notepad.

'_There's somebody else now, someone between us, somebody calling in the middle of the night. And I can't sleep now, for all of the crying, yeah. I know when we hold him tight, he's the best part, the best part of our lives.' _

'You certainly have a way with lyrics, John.'

Startled, John looked over his shoulder to see Charles joining him on the patio carrying two mugs of tea. 'Charles, you made me jump.'

'Sorry mate,' Charles replied, placing the drinks on the table beside John's notepad before lifting the book into his hand. 'You don't mind if I look?'

John shook his head no. 'I'm imagining another orchestra driven ballad, I'm afraid.'

Sitting down as he continued to read, Charles made an observation. 'This is about Dylan, right?'

'Yeah,' John began before shifting in his seat. 'Well, not just Dylan.'

'Oh I know, it's about Anna too.'

Bringing his tea to his lips, John was wondering whether to reveal to Charles his and Anna's secret. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about it, he supposed.

'Not just Anna either.' Meeting Charles's eye, John couldn't help the smirk that played on his lips. 'Anna's pregnant.'

'John, mate,' Charles put the notepad back on the table before offering John his hand to shake. 'That's brilliant news, I'm thrilled for you.'

'Thanks,' John shook Charles's hand, yet the man beside him noticed some trepidation in his voice.

'You are happy with the news?'

'Of course I am,' John replied without missing a beat. 'It's just I am here, and they're all back home. I feel like I should be there, I want to be there.'

Charles furrowed his brow. 'Do you want to go home?'

John didn't answer the question, instead choosing to take another sip of his drink. Charles reached for the notepad once more, flicking through the pages at all of John's compositions.

'If you want to go home, you know we'll all support your decision one hundred per cent.' Remaining silent, John leant back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. Charles took this as his cue to continue speaking, tapping John's knee with his notepad. 'But I think it would be such a waste. These songs you've written are superb. The songs we've recorded sound fantastic. The four of us just work together. I think we have a shot at something special.'

'I know,' John breathed, looking up at the night sky above them. 'I just miss them so damn much. I waited all my life to feel this way about anyone and now I finally do…' His voice trailed off, John resting his guitar on the stand beside him.

'It's difficult, I know you miss Anna and Dylan. But I miss Jenny, Jack misses Gwen and Michael misses Edith. We are all in this together, we all have something we miss. I guess you've just got to decide if missing them is worth it. Who knows, we could flop and then it will be back to our regular lives.'

'I don't want us to flop,' John said without a hint of resignation in his voice. 'I'm loving the process of making the album. I just wish we could be closer to home.'

'Well, when we're award winning musicians we can stipulate in our contracts we record albums no more than twenty miles from our homes.'

John had to chuckle at that. He had imagined scenarios in the future where Jack went mental because his water wasn't served at room temperature, or Michael lost his temper when his drum kit had been set up incorrectly.

'Now, play me that song in full. I might be able to add some input.'

'It's a little rough around the edges,' John answered, retrieving his guitar. 'But I'll give it a shot.'

* * *

Anna buttoned her blouse before stepping from behind the partition to join Gwen and the doctor at the desk. She felt nervous, she didn't know why but she wished John was here.

'Well Anna, everything seems normal at the moment but with your history, I think we should schedule a cervical cerclage sooner rather than later.'

'A what?' Gwen asked, grimacing. 'That sounds unpleasant.'

'It's a simple procedure, a stitch is inserted which should ensure the safe carrying to term of the baby,' the doctor explained as she typed something on her keyboard. 'We should make an appointment as soon as possible before the pregnancy progresses much further and the baby gets any bigger.'

'Okay,' Anna nodded, looking at Gwen. 'You'll be able to have Dylan for me.'

Gwen placed a hand on Anna's forearm. 'Of course.'

'We have an appointment two weeks today at three thirty. Is that agreeable?'

'Yes.' Anna nodded. 'Erm, do you know when the baby might be due? I know it's early days.'

'Well, I am almost certain from the dates you've given me you are a little over five weeks gone, so I'd say April time next year. But you won't know for sure until the three month scan, which you should arrange now.'

'I remember, from Dylan,' Anna explained. 'But everything is okay so far? With this one?'

'As far as I can tell, yes. Everything is normal.'

'Great,' Anna breathed a sigh of relief, smiling at Gwen. She couldn't wait to tell John.

* * *

Eight weeks had passed in a blur. Anna's procedure had been successful, she could feel her body changing bit by bit as the new life grew inside of her. Dylan was now ten months old and into everything now he possessed greater control of his body. He was a happy little boy, and after everything he had been through after his birth, it was more than Anna could have wished for.

Daily phone calls from John had revealed the making of the album had been one of the most rewarding experiences of his life. The last Anna had heard, over thirty songs had been written, it was about whittling them down to the fifteen or so that would make up Waterloo Sunset's debut album.

Anna's three month scan had been scheduled around the same time John was due to return home. She could tell he was holding back tears as he told her he couldn't guarantee he would be there. Gwen had offered to accompany her, but Anna had refused. It just wouldn't have felt right with anyone but John there, and if it couldn't be her husband, she would go alone.

And the day had arrived. Dylan was left in Gwen's care as Anna travelled to the hospital on her own. John was hoping to be home at the weekend, the scan being on Thursday. Walking the corridors of the maternity unit in the hospital, Anna was immediately taken back to when Dylan was born. The wonderful sensation of realising she was finally a mother, the despair of discovering how her son may not make it, the pure elation of holding him for the first time. It all came flooding back at once. She wanted John here, to hold her hand. He was her rock.

Checking herself in, Anna took a seat in the waiting room. Running later than she had planned, Anna was relieved she only had five minutes or so to wait. Exhaling a deep breath, she scanned her surroundings before reaching for a magazine on the table beside her. Beginning to skim through the pages, Anna found an article that piqued her interest. As she scanned the words on the page, the receptionist calling her name startled Anna somewhat.

Rising to her feet, Anna dropped the magazine back on the table with a gentle thud. This was it. She subconsciously brought her hand to her stomach. Starting to make her way towards the room where the scan would take place, Anna heard a voice that made her still her movements immediately. A voice she would recognise in a sea of noise. Turning her head to look over her shoulder, she gasped aloud. It hadn't been a dream.

'John…' He looked amazing, so happy and the way he was looking at her made Anna's legs turn to jelly. 'Oh my…'

Stepping towards her, John reached for Anna's hand. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through Anna's body. God, she had missed him.

'I would have been here to drive you to the hospital, but it took me ages to find a taxi at the airport and…'

She didn't allow him to finish, standing on tiptoes to place a sweet kiss upon his lips. She whispered. 'You're here now. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?'

'I didn't know until early this morning. I went on ahead of the boys to make it, they are catching a later flight,' John breathed, taking a step back to run his gaze upon his wife from head to toe. 'You look absolutely breathtaking.'

Anna felt a blush upon her cheek. She really couldn't believe he was standing before her, and for a moment she had forgotten why she was here and what she was doing, until the receptionist reminded her.

'We have a tight schedule, Mrs Bates.'

Nodding to acknowledge the woman, Anna squeezed John's hand tightly. 'Ready for this, Mr Bates?'

'I'm ready for anything with you by my side.'

For the ride he was about to embark on, John's words had never rung truer.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N- Don't really know much about the album making business so I just winged it. Don't think there are any glaring errors but if you know a bit more about it, please drop me a DM and advise :) **

**A dollop of family fluff before Waterloo Sunset begin their quest for World domination. Thanks for your reviews and favourites. **

**Disclaimer:** Downton belongs to ITV/ Carnival/ Julian Fellowes.

* * *

John pushed the buggy in which Dylan was contentedly babbling along the street towards his mother's home, Anna's arm linked within his. As soon as the scan was complete, revealing Anna's pregnancy was moving along perfectly, the first thing John had wanted to do was to go and inform his mother. They had gone to collect Dylan from Gwen, before catching the tube across town.

It had been a bit of a whirlwind since John had landed in London, heading straight to the hospital then to see his mother. But he couldn't wait to tell her his and Anna's news, wanting her to be the first to know, Gwen and Charles aside.

'I feel I've neglected her recently,' John shrugged as they walked up the path to his mother's front door. 'I feel I've neglected you all.'

'John,' Anna sighed gently as they came to a stop a couple of feet from the front door. She knocked it gently. 'I am not going to have this conversation again. You are doing something so amazing, and you know you'd have regretted it if you hadn't taken the chance. This could be so huge.'

'Hmmm. We'll see.' Before Anna had the opportunity to reply, Helen was opening the door.

'Oh, my darling boy,' Helen exclaimed upon seeing who had visited her.

'Hello Mam,' John replied.

Helen was leaning down, placing her hands gently on Dylan's cheeks. 'Oh, not you, I was talking to my grandson.'

'Thanks Mam,' John looked to Anna and rolled his eyes. 'I hope it's not a bad time, just thought we'd stop by.'

'The three of you could never pick a bad time to come and see me,' Helen stepped aside, sharing an embrace with Anna as she walked past, and pinching John's cheek as he followed his wife. 'But I thought you were in Denmark, my boy.'

'No, Sweden Mam,' John corrected his mother as Anna lifted Dylan from his buggy. 'And the recording is finished. The songs we've recorded are in post production and we have a meeting in two weeks with the record company to decide which songs make the final cut for the album.'

'I'm pleased for you son,' Helen said gently, resting a hand on his arm. 'Your Dad would be so proud.'

'Yeah, well,' John clenched his jaw, clearing his throat. His Dad had been close to his heart whilst he was in Sweden, having been the one to instil his love of music within him. 'Anyway, we have some more news that we wanted you to be the first to know.'

Within a few minutes, John and Anna were in the living room, Anna on the sofa whilst Dylan played happily by her feet, his father next to him on the floor. Helen insisted she made them some tea.

'I can't believe he's sitting up,' John stared at his son in wonder. Dylan was now displaying a fine mop of dark hair like his father, and piecing blue eyes like his mother. The perfect embodiment of them both. 'It's incredible.'

'Yeah, well at ten months he should be starting to crawl, but because he was premature that might take a bit longer.'

'Oh that's alright,' shaking his head, John placed a hand on her knee and looked up at his wife behind him. 'He's our little miracle. '

'He sure is.'

His eyes fell to Anna's stomach. 'Soon to be joined by another little miracle.'

'I'm so excited,' Anna placed a hand where the new life inside her was growing. 'I just can't believe it John.'

Just as John was about to place his hand atop Anna's, Helen announced her arrival by chiding her son.

'John Bates, I almost tripped over you then.'

'Sorry Mam,' John lifted himself to sit beside Anna, 'just can't believe how much my little boy has grown up whilst I've been away.'

'He's a bonny wee thing,' Helen had to agree, handing John and Anna their drinks. 'your darling wife has been bringing him over to see me once a week with that lovely girl, Gwen is it?'

'Yeah, Gwen,' Anna nodded her head. 'She's been amazing whilst you were away.'

'Not helping me with the guilt I feel, darling.'

'And I keep telling you, it's alright,' Anna reiterated her words from earlier, before taking a sip of her tea.

Helen could sense the change in atmosphere, so decided to divert the topic of conversation. 'So what's this news no one else could possibly hear first but me?'

Anna and John exchanged a smile before John placed his tea on the coffee table and lifted Dylan into his arms. 'Would you like to tell her?'

'No, you tell her,' was Anna's reply, she nearly giddy with her happiness.

'Will someone tell me?' Helen asked impatiently. John met Anna's gaze and nodded, his wife turning to face her mother in law.

'I'm pregnant.'

'Oh, my darlings,' Helen brought her hands to face, she seemingly as shocked as Anna and John had been when they found out. She rose to her feet, Anna and John reciprocating her movements. 'That's wonderful news.'

She wrapped Anna in an embrace, the smile threatening to break John's face in two as he looked on at the two women he loved the most in the world. Kissing Dylan on the temple, he wondered if he had ever felt happier in his entire life. All of a sudden, he happened upon an idea. An idea that would ease the guilt he had been feeling, albeit unnecessarily in the eyes of his wife.

'Can we go away, the four of us?'

'What?' Anna's brow was furrowed as she turned to look at her husband.

'Yeah, my treat,' John continued, bouncing Dylan in his arms. 'Dylan's first family holiday. We could take him to the Isle Of Wight, you used to take me there all the time when I was a kid, Mam.'

Helen shrugged, her look as confused as Anna's. 'That sounds lovely, my boy. But what has brought this on?'

'Well, the weather is still nice, and whilst I have these two weeks before life will probably turn crazy, I want to spend some time with the three most important people in my life.'

'I've never been to the Isle of Wight,' Anna smiled, looking at John. 'You sure?'

'I am.'

'I suppose the girls won't mind if I miss bingo just this once,' Helen remarked, tapping her chin. 'If you are sure, John, that sounds wonderful.'

* * *

Anna stood aside as John packed the car, Helen busy getting Dylan comfortable in the passenger seats. He had booked them a long weekend on the Isle Of Wight, the weathermen predicting a mini heat wave just across the Solent. They were to stay in Ryde in a Bed and Breakfast with a view overlooking the seafront.

'You know, we could buy our own car instead of asking to borrow Robert's the whole time.'

'I'll get around to it,' John assured his wife, gently placing his guitar upon the carefully loaded luggage. 'Blimey, you'd think we were going for four weeks, rather than four nights.'

'Do you really need to bring the guitar?' Anna rolled her eyes.

John shrugged his shoulders. 'You never know when inspiration might strike.'

'What time is the ferry across, John?'

Helen's Irish burr came through the open boot to them standing at the back of the vehicle. 'Ten Mam.'

'Best get a move on then, it's half seven now and it's an hour and forty minute drive to Portsmouth, my boy. That's not taking into account the traffic and checking in.'

'Yes Mam,' John sighed, shutting the boot whilst Anna giggled beside him. 'Who invited her?'

'Don't be mean,' Anna gently hit John on the top of his arm, he pretending to be injured.

'Ouch,' John exclaimed, rubbing his arm furiously. 'That's my guitar strumming arm.'

'That didn't hurt.' Anna rested an arm around his waist before leaning on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. 'Thanks for this.'

'No need to thank me, it's the least I could do before I…'

'Don't even carry on with that sentence,' Anna silenced him by placing her finger on his lips. 'I for one can't wait to hear the songs you've written with your band.'

'Look, if we don't leave now we will miss the boat.'

'Yes Mam,' John's voice was slightly harsher than he would have liked, but Helen mustn't have noticed as she slammed the car door shut once more. He met Anna's gaze with his own, eyebrows raised. 'We best get going.'

* * *

The weather was glorious as John, Anna and Helen took Dylan for a walk along the seafront in Ryde. Their bed and breakfast was most satisfactory, Helen having her own room on the floor below John and Anna. All had agreed it was nice to be away from the hustle and bustle of city life, and to be awoken at the crack of dawn not by the busy city traffic but the noises of birds instead, even if they happened to be seagulls.

Helen had arranged for a picnic to be made for her family to take on the beach so they could make a day of it. There was plenty to do on the seafront with a little one, John looking forward to taking Dylan for a paddle in the sea. He had never imagined he'd take his own child on holiday to the seaside, and John was determined to savour every moment.

'He certainly seems content,' Helen remarked as they took their first steps on to the beach, Dylan chatting away using words that made perfect sense to him, if not the adults who accompanied him.

'He's always trying to talk at the moment,' Anna smiled as she pressed a kiss to his head.

'John was the same,' Helen continued as they treaded the sand to find a spot to call their own for the next few hours. 'Always chatting. His Dad joked he'd be the next Michael Parkinson.'

'Yeah, Dad was hilarious,' John said absent-mindedly as he placed the box containing their picnic on the sand in a place he believed was perfect.

'Oh no, not here Johnny,' Helen said shaking her head, picking up the box before turning around. She pointed into the distance. 'Over there, it's more shady.'

'Yeah, and it's also closer to the ice cream van,' John replied, Anna laughing at the interaction between mother and son. He wagged a finger at his mother. 'I know your game.'

Once they were fed and watered, John was seriously considering taking Dylan for his first paddle in the sea. The boy seemed quite happy to play with his bucket and spade however, even if he didn't understand its purpose. Hitting the sand repeatedly with his spade certainly seemed like a fun way to be spending his time.

'I could really go for a mint choc chip ice cream,' Helen said suggestively in John's direction, he pretending to ignore her and help Dylan load his bucket with sand.

'Oh, that sounds good,' Anna joined in, gently rubbing her big toe against John's elbow as he sat with Dylan in front of them.

'I'm helping my son build a sandcastle,' John replied, not bothering to turn around.

'So, have you thought about any names for the new one?' Helen asked.

'I haven't even got my head around the fact we're having another one,' Anna replied, looking at the back of John's head. 'How about you, darling?'

'Not a clue,' John shook his head.

'Well, there's plenty of time for that,' Helen looked over at the ice cream van longingly. 'Oh John, there isn't a queue. It won't take you a minute.'

'Mother,' John whined, looking up towards the heavens.

'Go on, my treat.'

'I can help with Dylan's sandcastle whilst you are gone.' Anna suggested helpfully, John scowling at her over his shoulder. With a groan of exasperation, John heaved himself to his feet, Dylan watching his movements.

'I'm just here to be at your beck and call, aren't I?' John took the ten pound note Helen was handing to him.

The next sound they heard was so soft, so gentle John was sure he had imagined it. Anna's eyes were focussed on their son, her face beaming as she looked at him. John hadn't misheard.

'Did he just say what I think he did,' John murmured, looking down at his son.

Dylan was pointing up at John, a gummy smile upon his lips. 'Dada.'

'I don't believe it,' John reached down to lift Dylan into his arms, holding him tightly against him.

'Oh John,' Anna was close to tears, her hands on her cheeks as she rose to stand beside her son and her husband. 'His first word, and it was Dada.'

'I'm happy for you, my boy,' Helen cooed, 'what a wonderful moment.'

John nodded at his mother, unable to stop smiling. He leant down to meet Anna's lips in a kiss, the two of them so proud of their little boy. 'I will go and get you those ice creams now.'

* * *

It had been a wonderful few days. After Dylan's initial breakthrough at the beach, 'Dada' had been almost the only thing he had said. Over and over again. If Anna had felt a little put out his first word had been in reference to John, she hadn't let is show as she encouraged her son to continue to develop his language.

They had visited the zoo together, Dylan enjoying very much the sounds the parrots made, and watching the monkey's as they went about their business. He was his own little person now with his own personality, his own likes and dislikes and John often had to stop and appreciate how much he and his wife had been through to reach this point.

The last night of their break had arrived, and Helen had stubbornly insisted she would watch Dylan whilst John and Anna spent a couple of hours alone. Since John had come home from Sweden they hadn't really had any time alone, and after a while both admitted it would be quite nice to be alone together. After dinner, they had decided to take a walk along the seafront, the summer months meaning it was still light outside.

'Come on, Anna.' John tried to encourage his wife as they reached the Crazy Golf course. 'It will be a laugh.'

'I've never played crazy golf a day in my life,' Anna replied, her arms folded and her tongue firmly in her cheek.

'I'm no expert but don't worry, I'll help you.' John wiggled his eyebrows in her direction.

'Oh no, never let it be said Anna Bates doesn't tackle challenges head on. I can manage'

Over the next hour, Anna wondered if marriages had ever ended during a game of crazy golf. John thrashed her on each and every hole, clearly he wasn't a novice at this sport. Anna wasn't a violent woman, but the clown on hole number eight very nearly received a club on his big red nose. However, she had remained determined John wouldn't assist her

'Last hole,' John said as he scribbled on their score card.

'Thank goodness,' Anna sighed.

'Your turn first,' he said, gesturing towards the giant windmill in the middle of the range.

'What's the point?' Anna asked, lining up her ball on the tee. 'I will take about six attempts to get it through the door whilst you are waiting for me at the end.'

'Let me help you on this one?'

Admitting defeat, Anna nodded her permission. John came to a stop behind her, the front of his body pressed up against her back. He reached out in front of him, placing his hands over the top of Anna's on the club. It was intimate and it wasn't all at the same time, it had been a while since they had been this close to one another.

John's tone was teasing as he spoke. 'You know, the way I feel when we're this close I wonder how we're only expecting our second child.'

'Cheeky,' Anna replied with a smile in her voice, she subtly pushing back against him. 'Are you going to help me or not?'

John moved Anna's arms with his, the swing smoother than Anna's attempts alone, she noted. The gentle clock of club hitting ball was heard, before the white sphere travelled along the green surface towards the door of the windmill. It passed through first time.

'There you go,' John said as the two of them moved from their position to see where the ball would end up. Anna couldn't believe it as they caught the ball exiting the windmill and trundle directly into the hole. 'Hole in one.'

'Only because you helped me.'

'As they say, two stars shine more brightly than one.'

After Anna had eventually been magnanimous in defeat, they both decided to take a walk on the beach. It was so quiet and peaceful, and both felt as if they were the only two people in existence. They used to walk a lot early on in their courtship, both lost in each others company they had walked miles before realising. The sun was now setting, and stars were beginning to lighten the night sky. They would need to get back to the bed and breakfast soon.

'Shall we sit?' Anna suggested when they reached a gathering of large rocks beside the boundary wall of the beach. 'Just for a moment.'

'Okay,' John agreed, following his wife. He sat first, opening his legs slightly for Anna to sit between them. She leant back against him as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, his hands coming to rest on her stomach. They sat in silence for a time, the waves crashing in the distance the only sound. It was John who broke the stillness, gently pressing his lips to Anna's temple.

'I missed you like crazy when I was away Anna. It was like an illness or something. I ached for you.'

'I know,' Anna gently rubbed the back of his leg. 'I felt the same.'

'It's the one thing I'd change about being in the band,' John continued, 'missing you and being away from home.'

'We've both been through worst experiences in our life, those experiences have made us strong enough to live with this.'

'Yeah.'

'Anyway, let's not talk about that now,' Anna placed her hands on top of John's. 'What do you want? A boy or a girl?'

John smiled at her question, entwining his fingers with those of his wife. 'Honestly? If I could choose, a girl. But another boy would be just as welcome.'

'I'd be happy with either, as well. As long as we don't have to go through what we did with Dylan. The doctor seems pretty confident I'll carry to term this time.'

'Thank goodness.'

'Any names?' Anna questioned further, 'for this little girl you'd like.'

'Crikey, I haven't given it much thought,' John thought for a moment. 'I suppose I'd like Helen as one of the middle names after my Mum. 'But as for first names, I've no idea.' Just then, John felt his phone buzz in his pocket, removing it to see a message from Jack. 'Jack's reminding me about our meeting with Anthony and Evelyn in a couple of days, midday at the office.'

'As if you'd forget,' Anna said, John humming his agreement. 'You're deciding the final track list for the album?'

'Hopefully, if Strallan liked our efforts.'

'I'm sure he will,' Anna replied reassuringly. John didn't answer, putting his phone back in his pocket. 'Come on, lets get back.'

* * *

John and his band mates sat in the big office that belonged to Anthony Strallan, silence echoing around the room save for the rhythmic tap of Jack's shoe against the floor. It was like being back at school, waiting for the project you had worked hard on to be marked. John knew what they had produced was good, Lars in Sweden had said as much. But Anthony Strallan had the final say on whether it was good enough to release an album.

Movement outside of the giant glass panels that made up the wall of the office caught each of the men's attention, they watching as Strallan opened the door, followed by Evelyn who was carrying a pile of papers and a music player dock, an iPod connected to it.

'Lads, lads,' he said enthusiastically, each of them standing up to greet their boss, shaking his hand. He indicated for them to sit. 'Evelyn's been playing me some of your tunes.'

'And?' Michael asked.

Strallan grinned, looking to an equally smug looking Evelyn. 'Fantastic. Bloody fantastic. I mean some efforts are better than others but there is definitely enough quality to make an album.'

'Yes,' Jack exclaimed, 'I knew it.'

'Now, myself and Evelyn both believe _Love Like Stars_, the song you performed on the radio should be the lead single. The production on it is unbelievable.'

'Congratulations John,' Charles said, patting his band mate on the back. 'It's a brilliant choice.'

'It really is,' Michael had to agree, Jack nodding his co operation as well.

'But the eclectic mix of songs, it's going to make for a great album.' Anthony lifted the pile of papers, the band realising they were the lyrics to the songs they had written. 'So I propose we listen to each song, and sort them into yeses, maybes and nos.'

'It seems harsh,' Evelyn chipped in, 'but it's not personal. We just want to make this album the best it can be because we have high hopes for the four of you. Very high hopes.'

'So _Love Like Stars _is the first yes,' Strallan said, sorting through the papers until he found the lyrics. John reached across for the paper, feeling a shiver down his spine as he saw Bates and Blake as the writers beneath the title. This was really happening. The lyrics he had written were there in black and white.

A few hours passed as each song was played, and it was a relief that it was difficult to pick which songs to cut, rather than which to put on the album. John's song about Dylan, as well as his big 'Motown' number had made it onto the track list. A couple of Jack's 'toe tappers' were on there too, to compliment the rocky and orchestra driven ballads John had written with Charles. There were a few compositions all four band members had worked on together, and all were pleased a number of those had made it too.

It had been a difficult task but as the clock moved closer to five, all believed they had chosen the best possible tracks for Waterloo Sunset's debut album, fifteen in total.

'So what happens now?' Jack asked, the lyrics of the fifteen songs chosen on the desk in front of them.

'We submit this list to the producers and they master the tracks before we put them onto the album. They decide if any bits need re recording, which can be done here in London,' Evelyn was quick to assure everybody. 'The process should take a few weeks, then we'll look into booking you guys on some publicity for _Love Like Stars _and release that. You'll then take the tracks on the road supporting Harry Thompson on his tour, hopefully with a top ten single under your belts.'

'You think it's that good?' John enquired, unable to believe what he was hearing.

'Yes John,' Strallan replied, 'it's got hit written all over it.'

'We really are very impressed with your work, guys,' Evelyn repeated his and Strallan's thoughts from earlier. 'Be prepared for you lives to change. Big time.'


End file.
